Breaking the Binki!!

We just went through this last weekend....My twin boys, who will be 3 in December, were binki addicts. They used them EVERYWHERE--bed, car, watching a movie, playing, etc. It got to the point where I couldn't deal with having to make sure we had them with us everytime we went to do something; or, heaven forbid, we LOST one while out and had to survive the car ride home if I didn't have extras. So my husband and I decided last Friday was IT! we picked a weekend where we didn't have a lot going on and were both around to deal with the resulting behavior. We gave our pacifiers to the Binky Fairy. We began talking about this and playing it up a couple of weeks before D-Day. We told of how the Binky Fairy came in the night and took all the binkis, then as an exchange she would leave presents for them. So Friday night we packed up all of the binks and placed them in a basket on the dresser in their room--we did let them FALL asleep with one each, but added those to the collection before we went to bed. In the morning when the boys awoke the basket on the dresser was gone....I went down and "found" the huge basket of presents the Binky Fairy left in the living room. For us it was various Thomas Trains, puzzles and track for their train set--I also added dinasour jammies and a new outfit each for Fall which I had bought previously and was saving. They LOVED it! the weekend was a little rough at sleep times, but they decided they would sleep with their new trains instead. Each day has gotten easier--in fact, they haven't mentioned them since tuesday. I understand the breakdowns are hard to deal with, but if you stick to your guns and find some reward I am sure she can do it. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

My son is now 17. He loved his pacifier. He was like 2 or maybe a little older so i decided that this would be his discussion not to want it any more i just added something to this. Every time it would needed to be rinsed off i would have a cup of vinegar on the sink and dip it. It was like 24 hours he said it spoiled. That problem was solved.Good luck.
Vinegar Will not hurt your child It just taste awful.

1 mom found this helpful

no matter what you do you will have a tantrum. you just need to take it and deal with the cries for a few days till she calms down and soon forgets.just whatever you do don't give it back.

This is going to sound mean but the only way I got my now 2 1/2 year old to quit is to throw them all away after about 2 or 3 days he didn't cry for it anymore. Good luck

Okay we just went through this with our 2 1/2 year old. She had three of them and I hide two of the three. The third one got a hole on its own and I helped it along with putting a few more in. Someone had told us to cut the tip, it did not work but putting wholes in it did. We had one week of her meltdowns when she realized we were not going to cave to her demands. My husband wanted to give in after two days of her screaming, I said it might be bad now but it won't last long and within a couple of days after that she never thought about it again. Be strong and just know that she will scream and cry but this is the best thing for her right now. Just realize she is 3 and she is the child, you are the adult and you are the law of the house.

Cut them--then give them to her like you normally would. She'll put it in her mouth--be very puzzled at which you respond--"i guess it's broken" Let her try the next three which will be 'broken' as well. And you just tell her that's what happens when we get to be too big for them. I have four children--this worked for all four of them--I cut their pacifier--gave it to them at their nap--two had a fit--two did not. either way--by bedtime that night all four went to bed without a pacifier--altough the funny thing is that all four of them insisted on holding it in their hands for a few days--then they were forgotten! Works like a charm--
K.

I tried this method and it worked great, Tell her the Binkie fairy is coming like the tooth fairy but for pacifiers. We set a date that the fairy would come, we put them in a basket outside her door and when she woke up in the morning there was a cool toy there instead of the binkies, also when she started
to get teeth we cut the part that goes in her mouth off them so when she went to put them in her mouth it wouldnt stay put.
She called them her brokies for a while but those 2 things worked great for my daughter. Good luck

My daughter was about 18months old when we weined her off of the pacifiers. I first started with making her leave them at home when we went somewhere. Telling her she was a big girl & could go without until we got home. Then I started making her leave them in bed. Ocassionally she would go get one & I would take it back to her bed & tell her big girls don't need them during the day. No matter how determined she was I was more determined. Then finally we keept loosing them untin no more at bedtime either.
What ever you try just keep following through & stand your ground no matter what reaction you get.

Man, does the story sound way too famaliar! Here are a couple things we tried to do, but they did not work for us.
Put the paci's in a baggie and tell her they have a special way at the toy store to use her binki's for shopping. She can pick out a toy that she wants and then she uses her binki's to pay for the toy she wants. At the cash register she pays the cashier with her bag of binki's!!
Story 2...the Binki fairy....She works just like the tooth fairy. Set the binki's on her windowsill before she goes to bed and while she is sleeping the binki fairy comes and takes them to all the new little babies!
Like I said neither one of these worked for us, but I thought they were both great ideas. Shortly after my son turned 3 he finally threw away his last 2 paci's--For good!! :)

I have not personally had this issue, but an artile I read about it referenced an idea that I logged into memory for future use. Try introducing the binki fairy. Much like the tooth fairy, though obviously she's not familiar with her yet! Simply put, each night she receives a small "surprise" under her pillow when she goes a certain amount of time without the binki. You decide how long... A few hours, the day, overnight, etc. getting up to the binki being gone. You can also try it just like the tooth fairy and have her leave it under her pillow and leave a surprise in its place until they're all gone.

I really like the idea of "paying" for a special something with the binkis too!

Good Luck!

Throw them away....cold turkey. It may stink for 3 nights but it is better than prolonging it. Just do it, no discussion, no bribrary. You start bribing her with things it is going to be a constant negotiation on it.

My first daughter was the same way. She would not give it up. I finally quit buying them. Our dog or her grandpa's dog seemed to keep ending up with them in their mouth because she would leave it on the floor. I finally told her that was it. She had one binky left and if the dog ended up with it in his mouth, I was not going to buy anymore. Guess what? The dog ended up with it and that was it. (The dogs always bit the sucky part off) LOL She cried for a bit but she never had another binky!!

A friend of mine used scissors and gradually cut the binkie off. At first she cut off the bottom, oh say a centimeter. Then the next week she cut off another centimeter. This makes it so that the child cannot get the sucking sensation they desire wehen the bink is in the mouth and they soon loose the desire for the bink. Beware though, you may soon see the thumb going into the mouth afterwards.
This worked for her, but I haven't tried it myself. Sorry I can't offer any firsthand advice.

K. - I'm not sure whether or not this constitutes advice.

My son had what felt like a nightmare addiction to the pacifier. I would say that if you can get it down to bedtime only, you're in good shape. And eventually she'll grow out of it. Big transition time (i.e. starting preschool for the first time) may not be the best time to make her let go.

Some kids are just easier about than others. My daughter (now 15) let it go uncerimoniously one summer afternoon at the age of three because we made an agreement. She was "big now" and it was time to give it to grandma for safekeeping. She is a very sensible and practical person.

My second son (nearly 8)is a bit more...strong willed... He held onto the night-night binki through KINDERGARTEN. After giving up on all the manipulation strategies that everyone told us to try, we just decided he was going to have to let go on his on. By preschool, we limited it to bedtime in his room only. We were careful not to shame him out of it--that is a great temptation! We did tell him that in fact, he was too big, but we'd let him have it for night-night til he felt he was ready. (By the way, ALL of our relatives thought we were NUTS!). And one day he was ready. He put it in a drawer and never looked back. We still have it! : )

Our son is a fun, sociable, well-adjusted, intelligent and energetic third-grader now and he has beautiful teeth. When I look back to my days of angst and woe over the binki, I am glad it is over, but I realize it probably would have ended sooner if I hadn't been so determined to end it. Some kids need a comfy for whatever reason. And a binki is better than a thumb, I'll tell you. Our third son is almost three year old and he's still sucking away! (It's hard to set limits on a thumb).

Cheers,
A.

I hate to say it, but you may have to resort to good old-fashioned bribery.

I'm not saying promise her treats or anything to "give it up". I'm suggesting maybe having her trade for something to keep her from being lonely.

Kids form attachments to binkies and lovies to connect to something else for comfort. Whether it's comforting to think they are eating (as in a two month old), gnawing (the teether crowd), or it's just an "old friend" (after two).

I suggest taking her to the store and telling her they are having a "binky sale". Basically, have her find something that will need HER to comfort IT (ie: a small infant doll). Tell her that a baby that small will need a binky more than she will and offer her a chance to trade her binky for the doll.

If that doesn't work, you may want to check WHY she is needing to connect to something. Is her room too dark? Are siblings or older children making fun of her? Does she think that having a binky makes her "stay" the baby?

Good luck.

Hi K.,

My advice is to just get rid of the binks. She WILL have a "meltdown" and it will be rough for a few days, but she will get over it. When my son was two we explained to him that binkies are for babies and he wasn't a baby anymore so it was time to get rid of his binkies. He didn't like the idea but he agreed to throw them away and did so all by himself. An hour later he wanted them back and I said that the garbage man had already taken them away. He cried and did have a rough sleep for a couple of nights but had almost completely forgotten about it all by the third day. We are now in the process of going through it all over again with our daughter and she seems to be reacting the same way so far. Every child is different, however, the end result is the same...out of sight, (eventually) out of mind! Good luck and just be patient as it will be over the soon!

J.

Hi,
I, too, had a little girl who loved her suckies. The first step was removing the extras one by one until only one was left. Then we tied that one to her bed post with only about a 12 inch piece of ribbon. When she fell asleep the pacifier came out as she rolled over. After a couple of weeks of this we snipped the end and said it was broken and the rule was 3 year olds couldn't buy suckies any more. We left the one tied to her bed and she just held it for several nights. This didn't happen without fits...but fits are ok. My daughter is now 16...trust me, a few fits and your daughter learning no more means no more is battle worth winning at 3! She really will get over it, you just have to be stronger than her, good news, 3 is tougher than 2 and when she turns 4 all will be well! Good Luck!

I went through the same thing with my now 3 yr old when she was two. She would hide the bb's as we call them, she would scream and fall out in the middle of the floor, oh it was terrible. I feel for you. The only suggestion I have is to let her have her meltdowns after a few nights it should subside. I had to tell my little girl the doggy ate her bb 'cause he was hungry but he thought it was delicious and said thank you, and that was the last one, of course that night it was on like donkey kong but we just let her cry herself to sleep and after a couple of days she didn't ask for one (which really surprised us). I wish you luck.

I wish I had more ideas on this! My almost two yr old always has one in her mouth & one in each hand. I'm convinced she will be someday walking down the aisle this way! I'm thinking when the time comes, it will be cold turkey with her. My son just stopped having interest in it. Good luck to you! Let me know if you find the "Binki Cure"!!!!
S.

Hi, K.!

We took a cue from a TV show we saw in which the parents attached all the binkies to a huge bunch of helium balloons and let them loose outside.

We had to prepare our son for the day we were planning to do it because he was really unwilling to get rid of his binkies. We planned it for a weekend when both of us could be home and counted down on the calendar for a week with stickers that looked like binkies. (I found them at Michael's Crafts in the baby shower section.) We started by letting our son let loose one balloon so he would know what to expect, then we let him "help" tie the binkies to the ribbons on the rest of the balloons and asked him to let them go. It took a lot of encouragement, and he cried until they were out of sight and again at bedtime, but that was the only time he cried. The next night, he was fine.

Hope this helps. Best of luck to you.

My daughter also had a strong attachment to her binks at bed time. What worked for us was going to the store and buying a new bedtime toy...as payment we had to give the cashier her bink. Hope this helps!!! Good Luck!!!

I feel for you.Unfortunately, we tried everything and finally ended up taking it away cold turkey at almost 3 1/2 years old. After 3 or 4 nights of some rough times we worked through it. It actually wasn't as bad as we thought it was going to be for as attached to it as our daughter was. Now we are about to cut our 2 year old son off so we have to go through it again! I didn't want to wait as long this time. I don't think there is an easy way. Good luck!

I know this is a very hard habit to break but it is possible. My son took his binki until he was about 3 as well. I finally got it down to where there was only one in the house and then one day we were driving down the road and I just threw it out the window.(I don't condone littering but I made an exception this one time)The first few nights were sleepless but I just stuck to my guns and refused to buy him another one. Hang in there it will get better just throw them away.Hope this helps out.

K.,

My son who is 2 1/2 loves his pacifer ("pyer") as he calls it, too. Since he was about 12 mos we limited it to night time/naps at home and when he was sick (or we wanted to go out to dinner). We has never taken it to daycare since then and naps fine there without it. We have tried to take it away several times and are finally down to one (I stopped replacing them). He know understands he can only have it in his bed and he takes it out and puts it in the bed in the morning and after naps. We are going to Disney in October and after the flight home I'm going to get rid of it. My friend had a goodby ceremony when her son got rid of it and he actually threw it away and said goodbye, I'm not sure that will work for us...but I may try.

Just as an FYI...I spoke to my pediatrian because I was afraid that using the pacifier would affect Brendan's teeth, etc, and he said it was limited to sleeping/naps and not being used during the day it really wan't that big of a deal and that no children go to kindergarden with them, etc... (although from some of the other responses that may not be true). Anyway, just an FYI that it isn't "harming" your child. That made me feel better.

Good luck....

Sorry I am one of the lucky ones...Out of 5 kids I never had that problem but have you tried giving her those candy pacifiers? She might enjoy the taste of that better than her binki. I wish there was a trick I could tell you. Good luck.

We went through the same thing with my son, albeit he was a bit younger. I strongly believe that the ONLY way to kick the binkie habit is to throw them all away for good. I would set a date about a week away to throw them out. Mark it on the calendar and talk to your daughter several times a day every day about how the no-more-binkie-day is 5 days away (4 days away, 3 days, etc...) When the day comes to get rid of the binkies, don't let your daughter see you throw them out - she'll probably just go in the garbage herself to get them! Instead, I recommend throwing them out while she's sleeping the night before so that when she wakes up they're all gone. Remind her that it's no-more-binkie day. I'm sure she WILL have a complete meltdown and bedtimes will be especially rough for a few nights. Expect lots of crying. Eventually, she will get tired and fall asleep without them - it might take a couple hours at first (which sounds bad, I know), but it will work. Each night will get a easier and easier. The key is to stick with it and not give in. If you do, you'll be starting over from square one and your daughter will have learned that she'll get her way as long as she cries long enough or throws enough tantrums. I also recommend planning lots of activities for the first few "no-binkie" days to try to keep her distracted being busy with other things. Good luck and let me know how it turns out!!

~L.

I have a story that will make your head spin! My mother and father have adopted 3 boys that are 14, 12 and 11. The eleven year old still has a binki!!!!!!!!!! I personally have taken them from him 100 times at least. My mom still goes out at buys them when he has a "meltdown". I know, it's crazy. Hopefully that makes you feel better :-)
I took my sons away when I had another baby. He was only 15 months old. It was a rough few days but he got over it. Your daughter will too. Just tell her they are for babies and she's no longer a baby. Be very matter of fact about it and make sure you continue to tell her what a big girl she is and don't back down. I don't think "replacing" it is the thing to do. We are trying to raise our kids for the real world, and lets face it, we can't always replace a good thing. Sometimes we just have to let the good thing go. Good Luck!

My oldest was a SERIOUS binky girl, and I decided to break her habit shortly before my 2nd child was born. Frankly, we were as dependent on it as she was because we knew it was the quickest route to pacifying her (thus the name) no matter what was wrong. We gave ours to the Easter Bunny, so we basically quit cold turkey. Yes, it was rough for about 2 days, but that was it. Had I known how short-lived the meltdowns would be, I would have done it long before. Be strong. This, too, shall pass.

Another idea: A friend of mine cut the tips off her daughter's pacifier so they would collapse when she sucked on them. She said "broke" and threw it away, and that was the last of binkies for them.

Good luck!

With my daughter we tried everything, then one day my husband cut off the nipples, she carried them around for a short period of time, but it wore off fast after that! Good Luck! Binki's are hard to get rid of! Julie

Oh, K., I know EXACTLY what you are going through!
My Eve is an absolute pacifier addict (we call them "dummies"). When she came home from her last day of daycare at age 1 1/2 she had 15 dummies in her "goodbye bag". Turns out she was stealing them from other children as they slept and the daycare workers were under orders to only let her have "her" dummy when she napped. So everytime they saw a dummy in her mouth, they would take it from her and put it in her cubby. She is now almost three and also starting preschool on Friday. She HAS to sleep with "orange dummy", "pink dummy" and "blue dummy" or she can't fall asleep. She even snags dummies from her six month old brother (she will ask him "Can I have your dummy?" and then will do a little, baby voice in response "Yes, you can have my dummy.") We have not tried to wean them seriously (we have had a lot of change in our lives over the past year and a half, so there hasn't been a good time) but I'm thinking the time is fast approaching for dummies to take a permanent vacation. I've heard of the dummy fairy (or binki fairy) visiting, but I already mentioned that to Eve..."Maybe the dummy fairy will visit and will leave you a present for your dummy" and her response was "I'd better get out of here!" and ran away. Good luck--I'm thinking I'm going to have a 15 year old daughter who sleeps surrounded by pacifiers...hope someone has an idea that will work. I know my sister's children had dummies that all mysteriously "broke" (she cut the nipple part off). Maybe that will work...

R. (daughter of a fellow pacifier-addict, Eve)

We cut off the tips of the binki's and told our son they were broke. He tried to suck on them, but they just weren't the same. It took a couple days of adjusting. But we stuck to our guns and he learned to live without them. I was amazed how quickly he adjusted to life without the binki!

I have not tried this method, but a friend told me that she took her daughter to Build-A-Bear workshop with the pacifier and they put it INSIDE the bear as they were stuffing it. That way, their daughter would feel comforted by knowing her binki was with her without the whole world knowing-- kind of like a fun little secret. GOOD LUCK!

I have heard of people putting little holes into the pacifier.It wont have the same effect then when they suck.
Let us know what works!

Hi!
I don't know if this will work for you and you situation, because of the fact that my son was around 10 months old when I broke the habit. We actually lost the one that he used and when we got him a new one, it wasn't the right one and he didn't like it, so he got mad, didn't sleep for a few nights and then bam! like magic he didn't need it anymore. I definetly feel for the parents of "independent" children, my son is 19 months now and is very hard to control. But basically, "lose" her old ones, by her a new one, one that isn't the same(maybe one that is too small) and let her throw the tantrums. I hope something works for you!

WOW! Alot of great ideas! I went through it with my son. When he turned 3 I was bound and determined to get him off of the paci. We wasn't takling much, and I was sick of hearing him speak with a muffled voice! And his teeth were getting a bit misaligned. We tried to do a chart of stickers for a toy, we tried to only give it to him at night, and we tried bribery. Nothing worked. Finally I picked a weekend night and just sat up through the paci withdrawls with him. He cried, he couldn't sleep, relax, or calm down. I just rocked him and we watched his favorite videos until about 1 AM when he fell asleep. The next night I rocked him to sleep and it only took about an hour longer than usual. After that he was fine. About a week later he found a paci and threw it away because he said "I am a big boy now!" I was so proud.

She is old enough to want things. Is there a toy that she really wants? If so - let her go to the store and buy the toy by paying the cashier with her pacifiers. I did this one time. Yes - she will ask for her paci back, but then you remind her that she payed for her toy and that you do not have them any more.

Hi K.,
I just got done reading about your daughter. I wanted to let you know that my little boy was 2 and a half when we finally took his away. And, boy he was a binki addict. LOL. What we did was the cold turkey method. I threw out all his binkis (and his bottles) one night. I didn't even mention to him that I did this before I put him to sleep. He kept asking for it, but neither my husband or I gave them to him. We didn't really tell him what we did with them. He cried for a little while and then eventually fell asleep. From then on....no more binki. Also, another thing I have heard to do is to cut the tops off them, just an idea. I hope you succeed...I know as a mother it was hard for not only him....but for me too!!!!
Good luck.
T.

Well, I think many of us were in the same boat as you are currently. I have a three year old and we had the same problem. Initially we planned for her to give it to Santa last Christmas when she was around 2.5 years old. But, she ended up crying like we took her best friend. So we gave in. However, with her birthday approaching in April, we began early with a pump up technique, telling her everyday that she is a big girl and if she wants a bike (yes we bribed her) on her big girl birthday, she needed to put her binki in the garbage. We did it for at least a month. The night before her birthday party, we told her we wanted to give her part of her gift but she needed to throw binki away....and she did. No issue. However we did keep the others in case. So she got her helment & pads that night...wore them around the house like she was so big...and her bike the next day. We never had an issue. We were expecting drama at bedtime but we just told her of how proud we were and what a big girl she was. I have heard that many say the parents often have the harder time, especially dealing with the crying. I heard you just have to tough it out if they do have a break down...that it might just last 3 days. I hope this helps...YOU ARENT ALONE!

I weaned my daughter at around 3. Certain "rules" seemed to help. She was only allowed to have them for sleeping at that point. She would have to lay quietly with eyes closed for 3 minutes, then later 5 minutes before she could have the pacifier. She eventually started to fall asleep without it.

My son was also seriously addicted to the pacifier. We tried several things with no avail. Then a friend of mine said that she and her sister took her daughter to Toys-R-Us to "trade in" her binki for a toy. While the aunt was helping the child pick out her toy the mother was talking to the person at the register and explaining the situation. The little girl traded her binkis for the toy and the aunt left with her. The mother staye behind and paid for the toy. They only had a problem for a few days. I knew that this exact method would not work for us so i slightly aultered it. A couple weeks before my sons third birthday I explained that he was getting older and that the babies need the binkis. He didn't really understand what I was saying but I laid the ground work anyway. On the night before his birthday we gathered all his binkins and placed them on the night stand next to his bed (except the one in his mouth). The "binki fairy" came in later that night and traded the binkis for a spiderman doll who talked and lights up when you squeeze his tummy. I was so scared about a melt down that I didn't get rid of the binkis for a week. We had about three rough nights. My son will be 4 in a week and he still sleeps with spiderman. Good Luck

I let my daughter cry it out – it took about 3 days then she was fine. But I have heard someone say they took their child to build a bear and had her put the pacifier in the bear – now she sleeps with the bear (with pacifier inside) – so it wasn’t like she gave it up all the way. Good luck – the older they get the more stubborn they are. At least you can take a pacifier away, my son sucks his thumb – he is 4 – can’t exactly take that away.

My daughter is a very stubborn 1 year old. For two weeks I told her we were going to throw away her binkies. It became a game. I kept acting like I was throwing it away. On a Friday I gave her the binky and told her it was time...today was the day...and then I made her throw it away. For the next three days we threw one away per day. She never cried or asked for one at night once she knew they were all in the garbage. I also kept telling her that garbage is yucky. She actually tried to throw away my nephew's binky a week later--saying "yucky--throw it away!"

Breaking the binky is the worst! I think your just gonna have to commit to it and deal with what she had to throw at you. I like the idea someone mentioned about picking a certain date and talking it up to her. My son went to bed with out it one night so I knew he didn't NEED it - so I got rid of them all. It was a tough few nights but he made it through ok.

My son is really excited about starting preschool and when ever he does something wrong I say they won't let him go to school if he acts/does a certain thing. Maybe you can get her really excited about school and tell her only big girls go to school but big girls don't use binkies? Just a thought!