Bonding After an Abortion.....

Hi,

You are experiencing a very common (though difficult) passage. I highly recommend the work and support of Joann O'Leary. Here's a website that can help you connect to her:
http://www.jmbirthconsultants.com/workshops/joannolearywo...

All the best, K. (a doula)

Congratulations on your upcoming baby! I am a Kindermusik educator in Blaine, it is a wonderful program that teaches music and movement to infants through 6 year olds. In the infant classes we focus on child/parent bonding. I highly suggest you try out our program with your child. There are classes all over the metro area.

Please do not take this as a weak attempt to market you. This really is a wonderful program that will help you overcome your fears.

Congratulations on the upcoming birth of your baby! You will bond just fine with your new baby when s/he arrives. I think there is something very healing about giving birth, for all involved.

I agree with those who say that there is something very healing about birth and I hope your upcoming birth is a great part of your healing. I am so sorry for what you have been through and do not in any way want to minimize your pain or the impact it has on your anticipation of this new baby. There are many crisis pregnancy centers that offer post-abortion counseling as well as super support for this pregnancy and the baby when it comes. We have one in our town and about 4 or 5 within a 50-mile radius. I think it would be so helpful to find a good one--make sure you get a counselor you click with --and see what they offer. If you need a directory for your area, let me know.

I can't relate to the abortion. But - I think the worrying about bonding thing is natural. I was worried I couldn't love my second one as much as my first BUT - as soon as I saw that baby's face. Oh - the love just pours out. Don't worry, mother nature takes care of that. We HAVE to love them :-) I think we're hard wired to do so. Man - you have your hands full with Daddy gone. Good luck.

Hi A.,
I had a very rough miscarriage at 20 weeks that ended in a d and c - with major hemorrhaging. It made me so want another baby so badly. When the birth experience came on the next the experiences were so vastly different that I didn't remember anything about the miscarriage during it all during or after birth. My life was wrapped around the new baby who held my heart.

I do not know the issues surrounding your abortion- but I am sure your brain and body will love your new one. In some ways it will feel as a healing for the previous loss.

'

Check out newlifefamilyservices.com. They have post-abortion counseling to help with the healing. They have several locations in MN (and other states as well). You can speak with them on the phone, or go into their office, and it's all free. I encourage you to check into it. It will be good for you to work through this before your child is born. Just go to the website, and click on the tab that says "post-abortion healing". Best wishes with your new little one.

Congrats on the upcoming baby! I have not had an abortion, but I have lost babies (born preterm, then passed away) and gone on to have live children after that. I know it is not the same, but I did bond with my new babies right away, even though it was painful and memories of the lost babies did come back. Enjoy your new baby. I am sure you will do great. I hope you have someone to be with you if Dad is gone.
S.

Wow, Lynn. It must be nice to be so perfect up on your pedestal. I am infuriated by what you posted. You need to learn tact and class.

Please don't worry. You will be a WONDERFUL mom. The abortion you will never forget, but don't let that take away from the special gift of another one on the way and from your 4 year old. Put that in the past and move on to a more WONDERFUL future... of being a fantastic mom to two special human beings. GOD BLESS!