Biting - New Haven,CT

Please don't bite him. :) You sound like one whose soft heart would especially regret it, and I'd hate for you to hurt there, too. I don't have unkind words for those who have tried it in order to help their deliberate biters, but your son seems to have a different issue. I would say to continue what you are doing now--noting related behaviors like the hands and toys in his mouth, screaming when it hurts, (what choice do you have?), and being patient. Also, continue looking for a source of pain. I would say he is reacting to something that hurts. It seems most likely that it is something like teeth coming in, but it could be somewhere else in his body. If this behavior doesn't go away in a few weeks I hope you post it again and mention that it has been going on that long. But I hope that you are well into the next problem by then:)

your mom is right my son used to do that too. and i keept putting him in time out and telling him its wrong.untill i had enough and i bit him back. he was shocked at first and then cryed i asked him if it hurt and he said yes then i asked him if he thinks that if he bites me if it hurts me and he said yes he said he was sorry and never did it again/

Your question, and the three responses, puzzled me, so I did a little research. Now I have a question for you: he is chewing on toys, his hands, and biting, so... Could he be teething?

Does he have his second molars? I always got my teeth in late, very late; nothing was wrong with them, they were just a little poky.

If he has his second molars, could he be cutting in his 5/6 years molars? Some kids get them early.

When he bites you, if you are not comfortable with spanking, I have found a gentle flick to the cheek works wonders. Not too hard to hurt, but it startles them and gets their attention (they also don't like it, and will be wary of doing anything to garner a flick). Then tell them, with authority and absolute no-nonsense, "You do NOT bite."

Secondly (because this definitely sounds like teething): Kids Tylenol, some kind of teething ring (I have one that has a liquid inside; I put it in the fridge, and it cools like a cold pack; my son loves it), and a little TLC.

Remember, TLC most times, with a dose of Mother-firmness and discipline when he acts out (he is old enough to know better). My mom always called it "being the iron hand in a velvet glove."

I hope it gets better! I'll be praying for you!

God bless!
M. D

I know that it sounds mean, but what your mother recommended is the best way to put a stop to it. The next time he bites you, pick up his little arm and bite him back! Needless to say, don't bite him hard enough to leave a bruise, but just hard enough to shock him....then tell him calmly "that's how it feels....don't do it again!"

My son had a terrible habit of biting when he was around 3 years old, biting me, and also other children that he played with. Every time someone made him mad, he bit. I was at my wits end on how to put a stop to it. One day we were in the supermarket, and I had him in the seat in the cart, and he kept pulling things off the shelves. I scolded him for it, and he bent over and sunk his teeth in the flesh between my thumb and index finger, and bit me so hard that he drew blood. That was it....I'd absolutely had it...so I picked up his little arm and bit him back, just hard enough to make him cry. Then I told him "that's how it feels....don't do it again" and that was the end of the biting....problem solved.

I know it sounds extreme, but it does work, Once they know how it feels, and that you will bite them back, they usually never do it again!

D.

I just realized your son is 4 months old? He is teething.. I thought he was 4 years old.. Just keep cold or frozen teethers around and place one in his mouth.. I used to freeze wet baby wash cloths for our daughter.. also you can get natural teething tablets at Walgreens or pharmacy...

Biting and or then hitting children is not a good idea. Guess what it teaches them? To hit and bite, but not use their words..

You need to hold him away from you and look into his eyes and say very sharply without yelling "NO BITING EVER!"

Then put him in time out for 4 minutes. Also tell him it hurts your feelings when he bites.. You can always remember to also say "We do not bite when we are angry, frustrated, mad upset.".. Whatever you notice is happening.. Her needs to verbalize his feelings, but he will have to recognize and then have the words to match..

You and your husband can also help by stating your own feelings in front of your son.. "I sure am disappointed this store is out of my favorite bread." "Oh dear, I am frustrated that this restaurant got my order wrong.". He will mimick your behavior , responses and behaviors..

He is FOUR YEARS old?? If so he is way too old to bite back. I believe in biting a 1 year old (not very hard) so they understand it hurts, but at 4 he certainly understands that it hurts. He might be teething, but that is no excuse for him hurting you. He needs to be swiftly punished if he even attempts to bite you. Put him in a corner, standing and ignore him for at least 5 minutes. Make him face the corner so he cant see you or anyone else. Kids hate the corner which is why its so effective. Time outs sitting on a chair and watching activity is simply a rest period and doesnt do much good at all if he is repeating what he does wrong.