Biteing and Not Understanding No

This is a normal phase. In my opinion, 1 year old is way too young to do a timeout, let alone make her say sorry. She has no idea what timeout is or what sorry means. I don't think corporal punishment will work here either...

The best way to discipline a child her age is redirection and a simple "No!" Tell her "No biting!" and redirect her attention to something else. Patience and consistency are key.

Could she be teething? Perhaps offer her a teething ring, cold washcloth, or toy when she bites you.

A lot of kids go through this phase. It takes time, patience and consistency. Stick with it, it will pass.

My daughter went through a biting stage at about that age (31 years ago) and I tried numerous things to stop her....talking, spanking, etc. Nothing seemed to work. Then it dawned on me that we used our mouths on her belly and neck to make raspberry noises and that was fun and she liked it and maybe she didn't realize that raspberries and biting were two different things. The next time I caught her biting, I showed her how biting hurt by biting her little arm just enough to make a little pain not enough to break the skin or even leave a mark. I only had to do it once and her biting stopped so I really think that she did not realize that she was hurting someone when she bit them.

As far as learning the word "no", she is still young and it will take more time. Just be persistent and try to avoid having to use the word "no" too frequently by making her environment child friendly. Pick your battles and don't sweat the small stuff. Good luck.

there are a series of books out there...i used the 'Hands Are Not For Hitting' for my daughter and it really helped. there is one 'Teeth Are Not For Biting'....i suggest you read it to her every night. good luck - : )

I know that some people will not like what I am going to say but here is what worked for me. You need to bit her back or let the kid bite her back and not in a playful way. Once she sees that it hurts and that it is not a pleasurable experience for the person that is being bitten than she will stop. My oldest was a bitter and we could not break him of doing it to everyone that he saw. Once he did it to my grandmother and she bit him back. He had this surprised look on his face and he said “That hurt Granny" and she said "it hurt the same way when you bit me" and he said "Ooh", like he really did not know that he hurt her. That was the end of the biting, he than proceeded to teach this lesson to his brother and two sisters.

A little about me:

Working mother of four happy well adjusted kids: two boys (17, 14) and two girls (10, 8). I am married 19 years to my high school sweetheart.

Hi V.,
I know this will probably sound terrible...but...a long time ago, we had a puppy and went to pupply school with him. They said to pinch his lip when he tried to chew on us. (Hard enough for him to feel it, but not to hurt him.)

So...then I had a baby. She bit only a handful of times. After the first couple of times, when she bit, I pinched her lip. Hard enough that she didn't like it, but not hard enough to hurt her. She associated biting with something unpleasant happening to her. She stopped.

I don't know if that would work for everyone, but I can say that it worked for me.

When my daughter was 3, a new kid came to her daycare center. That child was still biting. My prefrence is to stop it before they hurt someone and that child's parents had definately not accomplished that. The kid ended up biting most of the other kids - badly - and ended up kicked out of the center. He bit my daughter twice - badly - and let me tell you - I wanted to pinch his lip (but, sadly for me, I kinda wanted to do it hard enough to hurt!).

Good luck!
K.

The first time my son's did it I slapped their hand and said NO. They never did it again. If they started to I said nooooo.

L. B

I have to say, I think what you're doing is better than almost all the advice you've received. I'd go with Amber S, though. Just remove and redirect, and she will pass through the behavior. I did use time out at that age, more as a redirect than a negative consequence. I'd make sure there were interesting toys for her to play with in the pack n play. Sometimes 1 minute wasn't long enough, though. But 3 or 4 might be long enough for her to forget what she was wanting to do and find something else.

Impulse control is sketchy at best until the corpus callosum develops around age 3 (connecting the left brain gross motor movement with the right brain reason/judgement). So teaching appropriate behavior is beginning, but you can't expect consistent results for a while yet.

I wouldn't worry about her being around other kids, at her age, they don't really interact with other kids anyway. I did take my daughter to a playgroup though, more for me to meet and hang out with other moms!

She may not see the difference between biting or kissing. If it is not that,and she is just mad/frustrated,(since biting you doesn't hurt her she doesn't understand it hurts you)you may try to give her something safe to bite. She's just a baby still and she will more than likely need to be reminded many many times but look on the bright side its better she learns at home with you than in kindergarten where the other party may fight back!
PS do NOT act like it hurts and scream- for some reason that scream is pure entertainment for the child and that said child thinks that he/or she is doing you a favor by taking a little nibble here and there, it only encourages them- ask me how I know?!?

I know it sounds a little nuts, but when my now 13 year old was a baby, she did the same thing...her pediatrician told me to teach her to quit the same way you train a puppy to quit. Bite 'em back.

All of my kids have gone through this phase, and I am now dealing with it with my 2yo. This is what I have always done and it works after 2 or 3 times....I rub their bottom lip on their bottom teeth firm enough to hurt but not hard enough to do any damage. And I tell them "Your teeth hurt me (or whomever s/he bit)! No biting!" I never liked the thought of biting them back and saying no biting as it gives a mixed message. They need to learn that THEIR teeth hurt and the only way to do that is to show them that their teeth hurt. Good luck and it will pass!

~A.~
SAHM of 7 kids (ages 17, 15, 13, 6, 4, 2, and 7 months)
and Nana to 1 (2 mo old)

Is she teething? My oldest bit me once when he was teething. I have also worked in a day care where the child did not kiss cheeks he bit them. I'm not sure if he was trying to kiss or what.

Here is my suggestion (this gets confusing so please forgive me): My mom has a friend who's daughter had the same problem with her daughter biting. What they did was: wash their hands but not complely rinse them so there was a very thin layer of soap on thier hands/fingers. When she would bite they put their finger in her mouth. It was just enough of a yucky soap flavor to make her stop, but not enough soap to hurt her (like washing your mouth out with soap - not something I would do to a young child). It took a while, but after getting a yucky flavor everytime she bit she stopped biting. You can also say 'no bite' as you put your finger in her mouth.

God bless!

My son started biting when he only had 4 teeth. He was 9 months old when he bit for the first time. I couldn't believe it! He didn't stop biting until he was 2- 3 years old. I consulted the pediatrician, 314-454-KIDS hotline, nurses at the health department, other parents, etc. & nothing worked! I finally talked to a lady I worked with (my mom had called me after he bit a child) & she told me he had to learn to use his words & she was right. It took forever, but I would try to understand why he bit & talk to him about it. I would try to recognize when he was in a "stressful" situation & redirect the situation. (not easy) Teething also played a big factor in his biting. They actually told me to buy him a dog toy for him to teeth on or give to him when he went to bite. This didn't work but it was worth a try. Sorry I don't have any quick fixes, just a lot of sympathy as I know what it's like to be the mother of a biter & you are the "scorned ones".

When my first two boys were little one of them bit the other all the time. Even on the face once. I called the doctor who said to bite him back. I sat there thinking how silly this was, at least to me. How could I resort to the behavior I was trying to stop and still teach a child not to do it? So I didn't bite him back. I did say he shouldn't bite, and sent him to sit down and say he was sorry. He was a bit older than your child. What I do with grandchildren (or my own when they were younger) was to say things like, 'no, let's we love each other this way', and kiss them or show a positive behavior similar. She is young to understand depending on her maturity. I think biting is very hard to break though so keep at it. As far as being around other kids at that age, it's not that important if they are getting around people and one on one, etc. Later they will interact with children but not for awhile yet.

I totally agree with Nickole W. My cousin’s daughter was a really bad biter. She bit till she was 4. What got her to stop was biting her back. Not hard just enough that they feel something. Then so no bite. After that she realized what biting meant and knew it hurt and she never did it again. So when my 16 month old started biting I just bit her and said no bite. She is young so she will try it again but she doesn’t do it as much as she would if I didn’t bite her back. And I have noticed when she does do it its not very hard anymore, but I still tell her no.

V., I HAVE A SOLUTION FOR YOU:

We experienced the SAME situation with our son... (who is now 16 yrs. old.) I asked every person I could, anywhere I could, for any advice they would give me,(including our regular pediatrician) all with no solution. :O(

We happened to get an alternate pediatrictian at an appt.(by the Grace of God! Because I was at my wit's end and DESPERATE for an answer!! The situation was only getting worse.)

The Dr's. answer became our solution:
She instructed us to put Vinegar on his tongue each time he bit and say "NO BITE!" each time he bit. In 3 Days he quit biting!

********************* Yay!! Happy Dance!!! ****************

Details:
1. Everyone who takes care of your child MUST do this EACH TIME, EVERY TIME the biting occurs. Be Consistent!!
2. If you are going to be away from your home, plan ahead and put some vinegar on a paper towel in a zip-loc type bag.
3. Apple Cider Vinegar, I have been told, tastes worse. We used White Vinegar.
4. When I asked the Pedi "Won't that HURT him??" She replied "No, it is a food item. It is harmless to him."

After 3 days, it appeared that our son would bite no more (and we were breathing HUGE SIGHS of relief. WHEW!) He bit one more time on about the 6 day (I again applied the vinegar, on the paper towel, saying "NO BITE!") Then, about the 10th day, he bit for the last and final time. We again applied the vinegar. (According to the pedi and other sources, our son was just "testing" on those 6th & 10th days to "see if that rule is still in place.") Tee.. Hee... I guess I passed his testing. :O)

V., hang in there. THIS WORKS!

By the way... as our (4) children grew older, we used the same vinegar if they said things that were "nasty" (in much the same way OUR mom's used the "wash their mouth out with soap method" WE used the vinegar for foul words.) It sure cut those lessons SHORT! To this day, we still have no problems with that sort of language. :o)

I hope this helps. Please keep me posted.

Blessings,
C.

www.TeamOfHearts.com