Birthday parties...They Aren't What They Use to Be When I Was Young.

Look at it from a different perspective:
Those $400-$500 parties are the kind lazy parents have for their kids. They don't want to deal with planning, preparing, serving or clean-up details, nor do they really want to spend time with the kids themselves! (most places have a "hostess" that does all of that FOR them).

Is THAT the kind of mom you want to be? I have never done one of those... but my kids have been to several. The parents are usually not part of anything that is going on. We have done parties at home, or chose one child to go off and do something fun with the birthday kid (take a friend to the movies or water park of whatever along with the rest of the family). You can do scavenger hunts (easy and always a HUGE hit) or a craft to make and take home, or even the "classic" pin the tail on the donkey. The kids LOVE it!

Kids have just as much fun at a home party. My son prefers to have them at home. Just come up with some fun games to keep them entertained. I think it is the parents who don't want to deal with all the kids at their homes and the clean up. The kids will not care as long as there is cake :)

My kids have summer bdays and we always do backyard BBQ parties with games like water balloon toss and 3 legged races. The kids LOVE it! A lot of the kids I've noticed are saying they have never done a 3 legged race before and don't even know what a wheel barrow race is and are completly shocked when we give them a spoon with an egg on it and tell them to race to the finish line!!!
Do what you can and have fun. I agree, bday parties are getting ridiculous.

we have 3 kids and we always have the birthday parties in our house. i am against keeping up with everyone else. it is silly.i am against inviting the whole class. my kids each invite 8 kids.
i have come up some very creative birthday parties. if you want some ideas just let me know.

I do not plan on renting rooms at expensive places for my children's parties. I think it's unnecessary and a totally silly waste of money. $400 on a KID's bday party? Totally laughable. Maybe I am out of touch, but really, I will just simple explain to my children that if you want an elaborate party, fine, but no toys for the rest of the year, including xmas.

I say you can do a party at home and make it great. I am going to do a "high tea" for my daughter's 3rd. I will make all the little cakes, etc.

How about renting a bounce house? What is your daughter into? Can you bring something/or someone into the home and provide the kids with something special without it costing a ton of money? A dress-up/theme party, where you turn your house a make-believe place? I'd see this is a good middle ground. You spend a bit of money (say $150-200) but do it at home.

You hit the nail on the head when you said:

"Once again I find myself trying to keep up with the Jones's."

Why? Why do parents feel they need to "out do" each other.

Let your child decide what type of party she would like then plan it so it fits into what YOU feel is a reasonable budget.

The parties are getting crazy, and what I've found is that the kids just want to play, be together, and have a good time. And, yes, that can be right in your own home.

i would go with your gut and do the great home party you talk about. Nobody will remember the extravagant parties like you said. I think the simple birthday parties are the best ones. obviiously you remember having fun at birthday parties as a kid. they were much more simple back then, i agree,

insanity! the kids do NOT have so much more fun at some fancy venue that this should be considered a normal expense! i tell you true, if you have some games and goodies and kids who enjoy each other, those kids will have a blast at your house. if you ask them if they'd rather go play laser tag they will all say yes but you don't have to ask that. if it's 'do you want to go to a party or not?' they will all want the dang party. PARENTS might think it's boring if everyone is into one-upping each other, but the party is not about the parents.
throw that great party at your house. any kid who is bored by that is a spoiled patootie.
khairete
S.

I'm not sure how we did it, but we just didn't buy into all of that and my kids were OK with it. Well as far as I know! ;) They are now 20 and 16.

We just pretty much made birthday parties family and a couple of friends or low key. I'm not saying we never did anything. Our 20 year old had a birthday party at like a Chuckee Cheese once and our daughter did have a party when she was 4 at the gym where she took tumbling. But there were only 3 other little girls and family. Granted that was 12 years ago, but it wasn't that much money!

Now having said that, we did just throw her a Sweet 16 Party. With a DJ, a Photo Booth and 30 kids. BUT, her best friend also has an October birthday and the girls wanted to combine their birthdays. I knew the Photobooth people who gave us a deal. All costs were split with the other family. She did NOT get a new car. And my DH told her that was it until she gets married!

I buck the system....I don't care about the Jone's and you shouldn't either. Do what you can afford. I also don't believe in having big birthday bashes every year either. I'd go broke. I am with you and keep it simple at home. Every once in awhile for a milestone birthday you can splurge a bit.

My daughter had a bowling party once and it wasn't that expensive (less than 200$) also I think roller skating parties are about the same price. Or you could do it at your home and maybe hire a magician to come do a show..... I know around here there is a lady that does "girly" parties.... You could have a princess theme and she would come dressed like a "real" princess and do makeovers, tell stories... etc etc - I don't think any of those options I mentioned would be 400 dollars.

kids have as much or more fun at home parties. we have had the following parties at home that were all a blast.
pirate party
olympic games party
slumber party
action figure party
Hawaiian luau party
sweet 16
little mermaid party
cowboy party
favorite movie stay up all night sleepover party
make your own pizza and sundae party
halo video game party
football game party

all of these were done for less than $100 bucks and had as a rule 15 or so kids (with exception of over nights those usually had about 8 kids)
we made up games and did artsy crafty things, had paper plates, napkins etc and pizza or hotdogs and snacky stuff with pop and cake and dixie cups of ice cream. lots of fun and the kids all had a good time usually as a rule kids were in and out in about 2 and half hours. she will remember these kinds of parties way more than the parties at the places.

We always do at home parties. We try to make it exciting. The kids always seem to love it. And my 5 yo has never asked for a "destination" party, even though most of his friends do those. There are simple ways to make a "boring" party at home fantastic and fun.

We've done a High Tea for my daughter (dad made all the food and we hosted it at the restaurant we owned at the time, but otherwise would have done it at home), had a pizza-making party, hired a magician ($100 for 2 hours, and HE supplied the gift bags!), a treasure hunt...honestly I don't remember many more than that.

We promise two things to our children for their birthday, they get a present to open and they get to choose ANYTHING they want for dinner the night of their birthday. They can invite "a friend or 3" to dinner but rarely do they do that. We've had hot dogs and baked beans, lobster and shrimp, chinese food (some from take out, some we make at home), mexican food...whatever they want they get, and they really look forward to that meal, we all do. Sometimes extended family comes, sometimes not. We learned long ago that big stressful birthday parties simply weren't all they were cracked up to be, so we did a couple for each kid (but they didn't cost $500!!!!) and then created the simple tradition I described above.
My children's friends are mostly having video-gaming parties and/or sleepovers now.

At 6, most girls would love a tea party. I bet your home would be the perfect setting for your daughter and a few of her friends to have a dress-to-the-nines event!

so can do so many fun themes at home we have done for my daughter a dance party for her 2nd, a luau for her 3rd right in the middle of a blizzard mind you, and this year took her to a tea room and build a bear for her birthday now next year since she will be 5 we are having a big party but her at home theme is Winter Wonderland I'm so excited to decorate for it! I say have it at home and do a fun theme!

I also wouldn't worry about what others are doing. You do what is right for your family. I do my girls parties in a park. It gives the kids great entertainment and doesn't get too costly. (Although, we usually have the perfect weather for it, Septermber)

If you play fun games at your $50 party, I don't think the kids will even know the difference. Just have fun with it!

They aren't what they used to be because all the parents are trying to "one up" each other to make their kid feel special. I agree with everyone else, it is CRAZY to spend that kind of money on a 6 year old's party ! I believe when you're doing all that at 6 years, what are they going to expect at 16?? Don't fall into this trap...just say NO! lol

Hi,

Don't worry about what others are doing. There will always be someone who is doing bigger and better etc. Do what is within your budget and what your child wants. Ask them what kind of theme and see where that leads you....
Good luck.

Molly

Have it at home- the kids will have more fun there anyway and it will be less stressful for you. I think spending hundreds of dollars on a birthday party is ridiculous unless you are a millionaire. Have a couple games set up, have a play area for the kids to play with toys. Have them decorate their own cupcakes(my kids love that) and have a little craft for them to do that they can take home, a beaded bracelet, a foam princess crown, a small decorated flower pot. Serve some finger foods and you are done! and all the kids will have had fun! The thing about birthday parties is that the kids get to play with a bunch of their friends at once- that's exciting! I would save the jump party or roller skating for when you invite only one or two of your child's friends. Not only will it be more fun for your daughter and her friend- you won't have to worry about 20 kids in an unfamiliar setting.
Just relax, and have fun!
~C.

If you have the party at home you can pump up the excitement by hiring some entertainment to come, a magician, a kids musician, a clown who does balloons and face painting, a princess or superhero, we have been to parties with all these things. SO you spend a little bit more to have the special surprise guest but still save a lot over having it at a place!

I usually pick a theme and roll with it at home... Last year we did cowboys?cowgirls - we had access to a friends horse farm. The year before I did bug themed party at home with mudpie desserts instead of cake and we did a bug hunt and other stuff. For a girl, maybe an at home spa party? Has she had a slumber party yet? Or a red carpet movie night - at home? Really the possibilities are endless.

This year I will be doing a "lazy mom" party... for two reasons, one it's what my child wants and 2, I will have just given birth 1 month earlier and figured I would cut myself some slack. :)

Yeah, $400-500 is ridiculous!! I say have the party at home & spend the money (tho not nearly as much!!) on activities & fun stuff. I hate that those places charge you so much just to BE there for an hour & a half or so.

My daughter is turning 5 next month. I'm renting our apartment's clubhouse for $50 for the whole day. She wants a Scooby theme so I'll be buying decorations & activities related to Scooby. I'd rather pick & choose my decorations & activities and have plenty of time to play & hang out than to spend so much money on something that will be forgotten!

I love home parties! They are the best and the kids all seem to love them. You can have fun decorating your house for the party, come up with some games (maybe with small prizes), outdoor play, a scavenger hunt, a craft or two for the kids to do, etc. It's not boring at all! We have had parties at home, at a local skatepark (which cost nothing) when our son turned 6, at a local ice rink (which cost the price of the kids ice skating - $6 a child), and once at a local indoor play area when our son turned 3 (that one cost $100 for 2 hrs).

400-500 is crazy! I have a small house, so we usually do off site birthday parties at some venue. We usually spend 100-200 on the party place. We've done bowling, indoor playgrounds, roller rink, indoor amusement park at Mall of America, local pool, indoor waterpark, MagicQuest, gymnastics center. Others we have been to have been at a scrapbooking or art supply store, zoo, movie theatre, children's museum, science museum, GrandSlam, make your own pottery store, Pump it Up (that one may be in the 300 range) I REFUSE to shell out 500+ for the American Girl Store party. Some years my kids wanted something more expensive like the waterpark party, we just did family only, or made it a very small group. If they want a big party, they have to choose one within reasonable cost. Home parties are great too, because they are always unique and fun. My 8 year old said the most fun she ever had a birthday party was a home party that the kids went out it the yard and had a snowball fight.

DS has a Christmas birthday so we do a 1/2 birthday party at home (pool party). I HATE all those birthday places - loud, crummy and unhealthy food so I think a home party would be much better. Have a build a snowman party, sled down the hill, play outside party - make sure the kids all bring snow gear. give them pails and shovels, carrots, hats, etc and take them outside. Have hot cocoa and marshmallows when they come back in. If there is birthday cake the kids will enjoy whatever you do.

It's all about the fun, not the money. First, consider how many children you really want to invite. Some of the best parties we've had were groups of 6 to 8 children. Then our children picked a theme from options we discussed with them. Hawaiian theme (kids can make their own leis), chinese restaurant theme (eating took forever with chopsticks), cowboy theme (local pony stopped by for petting), action figures or Barbie theme. The children were encouraged to come dressed for the theme, and we had props available for those that didn't. The children enjoyed great food, background music, and scavenger hunts to find a theme gift for each child. The hunts were right after the food, because the children tended to play with the toys at the party. We usually offered an art activity, because kids love creating something to bring home. No goodie bags, which so often tossed when the kids get home.

I have 4 kids who range in ages from the youngest being 8 yrs old today, and the oldest being 20. I have had several parties over the years, some costing us well over 600.00, and others that cost us less than 50 bucks. It depends on what we could afford, how old the child was turning, and honestly, what the particular child wanted to do. At this point in my life, I am trying to scale down a little (I am getting quite tired of parties), so we have told them all that unless it is a milestone year, (10, 13, 16, 18, or 21), the birthday party will be small and inexpensive, or something that we do as a family instead of a party such as a day at a theme park. (we happen to live in Florida and have annual passes so it isn't a huge expense) Now, back to the party question. In my experience, the huge and expensive parties have not been anymore fun for the kids than the "at home" and less expensive ones. My 17 yr old's favorite one by far was last year when she had a pool party, (we have a pool) and we got a pinata and let them have a shaving cream and paint fight. They were COVERED in the stuff. We also made jello balloons and water balloons as well. Obviously they all showered off in the outside shower prior to getting back in our pool, but they had so much fun. Most of the kids were here until very late, and we had planned a man hunt game, but they didn't want to get out of the pool to do it since a lot of her friends didn't have a pool at home. (my kids take our pool for granted) They played loads of pool games, and I took a bunch of neat pictures. My younger kids have had dress up parties at home, we have done the expensive water slide rentals with the cotton candy machenes and snow cone makers too, but their all time favs are the times that we go and meet everyone at the local playground to have our party there. I have to pay a 35.00 fee if I want to use the cabana tables, but otherwise it is free. We just have to bring our own decorations and clean up. The kids can play on the playground, we bring cake and ice cream cups and I have even been known to order a bunch of 5 dollar pizzas for everyone to eat too, and just have coolers with some type of drink boxes for the kids to drink. It doesn't have to be expensive. As I said, I have done the really expensive parties. I have even rented the tables, chairs, tents, had ponies and farm animals to my house, petting zoos, magicians, clowns, and once a LONG time ago we had Barney. The funny thiing is that the child who's birthday it was wouldn't go NEAR Barney because she was terrified by him, so it was a total waste of 300 bucks. The rest of the 30 kids LOVED it, but I really wasn't paying for him to be there for the other kids. Live and learn! I say, go with the less expensive parties. The memories are much more about what you do with your friends AT the parties, not how much they cost and where they were. My kids favorites are proof of that! If I had only known that about 15 years ago I could have saved thousands of dollars! If you really want to spend money at their birthday time, spend it on them or an activity to DO with them that will create a memory. It means so much more! That would be my advice!

It's crazy isn't it? I can't believe the things people do for their kids birthdays. A friend of mine throws super elaborate parties for her kids. She does them at home, but still spends a fortune.
My kids are still little enough that a simple party at home is fine. I'm dreading when they get old enough to want the crazy parties!