Bath Time Blues

Updated on June 02, 2007
M.J. asks from Los Alamitos, CA
12 answers

My 20 month old daughter loves baths. Actually she hates them too. Let me explain.

She loves baths if Mama...but especially if Daddy...gets in with her. (He lets her stand in the tub so he's more fun) I usually just sit in the room and watch them play.

If I try even for one second to put her in alone, she freaks out, clings and only ankles get wet. I don't want to force her and make it worse. My husband works alot so I can't always depend on him for bath time help. To make matters worse, my tub isn't very accesable and I have a weak back. It's impossible for me to struggle with her over the tub and I'm getting tired of having to get in with her.

We have tons of toys, she loves bath time, she washes herself and if she had it her way, she'd take baths with Daddy all day long. Funny thing is, she seemed to hate the idea of swimming pools this past summer. Doesn't matter if they are wading pools or big pools. It could be it was colder water though. And I thought I should mention that I do have a fear of water from a near drowning accident as a teen. Is it possible that she is picking up on my fear of her drowning? (I just recently attended a 3 year old little girls funeral from drowning...horrible swimming pool accident.) I'm not so sure this is the cause. I think some babies just do better at some things than others. I am careful to react around her and I don't restrict her from water play.

Any tips on how to get her confident in the tub? Should I try an inflatable tub to put inside? Maybe even let her play in it outside of the tub first with her bath toys and then try in the tub? I'm desperate at this point even if just for simplifying my life. And if I can every finally manage to get one of my relatives to take her for a sleep over, I can't imagine them getting in with her. Ha!

Thanks for your suggestions ahead of time.

1 mom found this helpful

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So What Happened?

Thanks for all the reply's. She is doing great on bath time now and she will even sit and play alone in it. Now that she understands more and we can communicate what is happening, I think she isn't so nervous about it.

Thanks for all the advice.

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E.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

Well one point about the 'hating showers' is that she probably doesn't like the water splashing in her face. My older daughter hated them. With my younger daughter I had a similar problem that even though I was finally able to get my daughter into the bath she absolutely would NOT let me get her head wet! She hated the water going over her ears. What I did was I did not put her in the bath as aften as we all think is necessary, for a little while. I gave her a sponge bath to clean her body. The one thing that helped was having her sister to take a bath with and I know you don't have that possiblity, so taking one with Daddy once in a while is good. My best advice is to give in a little and not try to make her take one every day or every other day. Just for a little while, as she gets just a little older the fear will subside when the situation hasn't been 'pushed' and she is acclamated slowly and in small doses. It truly is a phase and "this too shall pass" Always remember "It comes to PASS" it doesn't "come to STAY" I also have a couple more suggestions that worked for me you can email me at ____@____.com if you would like to hear about them.
Hope this helped a little!!!
E.

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D.N.

answers from Medford on

I haven't any idea why she'd be afraid of the bath on her own. I think you should try your idea of letting her try the small tub outside the bath then putting it inside the bathtub. Also, I thought maybe a special bath friend (waterproof doll) would help her. I honestly haven't seen anything like that myself, but I'm sure it's available somewhere. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Have you tried putting her in the kitchen sink? It's so much easier on your back and it may be a small enough space that she doesn't feel scared. My daughter is 2 and loves it!

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K.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hey M., they sell little tubs that you can place on your counter or in your tub. Maybe start with her outside of the tub then put it into the tub and then when she's very comfortable with that, take it out and use the "big" tub. I read in one of my parenting mags that this is one of the more successful ways to deal with a child's fear of the tub. Good luck!

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D.G.

answers from Portland on

We had an inflatible tub and that was nice but what helped my youngest not be afraid was a great bath seat. I got one at walmart and it swivels the baby so you can wash them easier and it has an attached seat for mom. It straddles the side of the tub so that you can sit on a little stool on one side and they are in a seat on the other. We love this seat and I kinda wish he was still small enough for it cuz now I am back to leaning over the side.

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J.D.

answers from Spokane on

My almost 3 year old daughter did the same thing. We went to the lake, she stayed on the beach. We went to the pool, she watched and ordered everyone around. We get her into the bath tub....she throws a royal fit and no oneis allowed near her for a few minutes. There is nothing wrong with you guys getting in the bath with her untill she grows out of it (she will get over it one day, I promise)...unless it is getting on your nerves. With Cyla we just kind of weined her slowly. I would sit by the tub and wait for her fear to get out of her system. While she was screaming, I would play with one of her toys and go "oh wow, look at this!!" Slowly but surely, she got over the anxiety. It is just like anything else, build up patience or give in and wait it out. Its all up to you....good luck

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L.M.

answers from Las Vegas on

I have only two suggestions for you. One being that you start to give her showers and make it a game like it's raining inthe bathroom and strip her down and let her run through it. The second is go to wal mart and get these tablets that change the water color I DO NOT RECOMMEND FOOD COLORING. Also walmart has these crayonas that when wet she can write on the walls and the tub they are washable so try that good luck. i hope these were helpful to you.

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J.K.

answers from Portland on

i used to have a little inflatable duckie tub that quacked when you squeezed its beak. you could try that. my daughter around 14 mo started freaking out in the bathtub for no reason. i just started only bathing her once or twice a week and having her bath alone (didn't like it with brother in there with her lol), and eventually she got over it. i think it will just take a little time. she might be picking up on your fears too. kids are very perceptive. try just a few inches in the water for a while, with lots of her favorite toys and maybe bubbles. or try a little inflatable tub in the bathtub. or you could try the kitchen sink if its big enough, for a while.

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K.O.

answers from Portland on

Hi there! Well, I have to say that for me, my 2 year old is still too young to be put in the tub alone. They can drown in 2 tablespoons of water. If they were to stand up and fall....ahhhh. I think it is just better to stay with her and try the foam alphabet thingies or bath crayons. It could be as easy as putting in some Mr. Bubble Bath.

I still recommend staying in the room with her.

Good luck!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!

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T.W.

answers from Medford on

just an idea but maybe instead of buying a tub you can just fill up your kitchen sink and let her play in the water there that way you don't have to bend over and if she sits in it and plays you can also get some work done in the kitchen also as far as relatives sleep overs she prob. won't have a prob. taking a bath for them I find that babysitters and new people can get my daughter to do sooooo much more stuff alot easier than I can.

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M.

answers from Las Vegas on

Hi M.! I'm not sure if this would be an option for you, but I just bring my daughter in the shower with me. This way it's fast, easy and only adds a few extra minutes to my morning routine. I have a bad back and bad knees and decided it was so much easier to take her in the shower rather than deal with the tub. Good Luck!

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P.M.

answers from Bakersfield on

you may want to try distancing yourself from inside the tub to outside your tub in steps.. you could try sitting on the edge of the tub with just your feet in during bath time and getting a feel for how well your daughter accepts this change before possibly moving to sitting along the outside of the tub during bathtime.

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