Baby at 40.... - Overland Park,KS

Updated on June 26, 2012
A.S. asks from Overland Park, KS
15 answers

My husband and I are thinking about having a third child (we have a 9 yr. old and a 5 yr. old). Last year I quit my job to be a SAHM and have cherished the time I’ve been able to spend with them but I've gotten the baby itch. A little back ground on me.....I was told in my 20's that having children would be difficult due to severe endometriosis and would probably need to see a specialist if and when the time came that I wanted to conceive. Years later when I met my future husband we discussed the challenges ahead regarding having children and he was very supportive. So needless to say, a few years later it came as quite a surprise to find out I was pregnant. We had a beautiful baby girl and later decided to try for another thinking it would be as easy as the first time, WRONG! After a full year of TTC, went back to my OBGYN and was then diagnosed with PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) which I was told I've probably had for years and simply wasn't ovulating regularly. After a few rounds of clomid got pregnant for a second time and had our son. I didn't have any complication with either pregnancy. I just turned the magical 40 in January and have been given the OK from my OBGYN and regular Dr. as well as another round of clomid (if we decide to go down that road). I am doing everything to take good care of myself; a good daily dose of vitamins, exercising regularly, getting enough sleep, etc. Time is definitely ticking and I understand there are more risks with having a child at this age (even though celebrities make it look so easy :-). I would like to hear from any other Moms out there that have been in this same situation. Like I said, we have not decided for sure if we will try but will come to a definite decision very soon.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Go for it. You have the green light. Why not just go ahead and try. Not only will it be lots of fun trying it might take some time.

I don't think anyone is too old if they truly want a child and are able to conceive.

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

I had my daughter at 41. I had two step kids (17 & 20) when she was born. Life kept getting in the way of having a baby of my own, until at 39 I insisted that now was the time! I had two very early miscarriages first, but my conception, pregnancy, and delivery with her was textbook perfect and free of medical intervention. So I can't speak to any medical issues at all.

I was in great physical shape and kept running until my 7th month. Having a 10 year-old at 51 is a wonderful thing, for me. (Her father is 58). She is fantastic. She kids me about being "old" but respects me for being more active than most of her friends' younger moms. I earned my Black Belt in karate just last year and she is set to earn hers within a year.

4 moms found this helpful

S.L.

answers from Kansas City on

I had my last one at age 38 and not problems from age, a friend had her 10th at age 42 and no age related problems. I think if you are wanting a baby it would be good to do it now. Be sure you are up to chasing a little one and feel fit as it is a little more tiring at an older age but still keeps you feeling younger I think. I even think the grandchildren help me feel younger. As for worry about problems my doctor says if you've had other children it's less likely although there is always some risk but if you want a child you take a risk every time really.

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E.S.

answers from New York on

Been there, birthed that at age 39 :-). Lover her to pieces.

I say go for it--and if you could afford it even better! I want a second at age 41 but $$$$$ is tighter than 80s Spandex pants.

2 moms found this helpful
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H.L.

answers from Cleveland on

GO FOR IT! We had the best little surprise blessing when at 43 I learned I was pregnant with our little Olivia, now almost 2! I had just turned 44 when I delivered. I had gestational diabetes with her but kept it under control. My 18 and 14 year old LOVE her!

2 moms found this helpful
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M.K.

answers from Columbus on

My heart says go for it!! My stupid brain, however, would stop to analyze everything! Can you afford it? Do you REALLY want to start all over again with a new little person? I would sit down and have a deep conversation with myself and really think about it. Because, after all, even tho your husband will be supporting you emotionally, you are the one that really goes thru all the physical stuff.

I would have loved having more children (I was 38 with my last) but then I realized the only reason I would be having more was because I absolutely loved the feeling of being pregnant - even tho I had morning sickness throughout the whole nine months and I had diabetes with both and was bedridden at the end. Yes, I wanted another "baby" but I didn't want another "child." Sounds cold, but it was the truth. I absolutely love and adore my two children, but I'm glad I didn't have a third.

Good luck!! I know it's a tough decision!!

1 mom found this helpful
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M.T.

answers from Nashville on

Like Gamma said, nothing should stop you if you got the go ahead from your doctor and truly want to conceive.

But, it's not about just being able to conceive without complications, it's also about the new challenges of having 3 kids as you get older. After 40, the body begins to slow down and you really have to do more to keep active. You and your husband will be going thru your own personal mid life changes, and to add to that a new baby might add more stress. Consider stuff like that into your decision making.

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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

I'm 40 and we are trying!!!!! Life is too short to let fear stop you from doing anything you even feel a tiny desire to do. That's my new attitude. We will deal with problems as they arise.

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L.S.

answers from Omaha on

I have not been in the same situation, but my mother has been. She had my sister at the age of 41 (I was a freshman in college and almost 19 years old - it was interesting ha ha). This, too, was a planned pregnancy. My sister was born very healthy, and now she's 13 (I cannot believe this). My parents did get some strange looks or comments from people who weren't sure of their decision, but they wanted to do what made them happy. Yes, there are greater risks for developmental issues at an older age, but if it's meant to be that you have another (with or without special needs), then it will be. God's plan is already set in place, and now you just need to carry it out. If you really want your family to be a family of 5 (and be careful, at this age and with possible intervention you could easily be a family of 6 or 7 - ha ha), then make it so. You're not old, you are healthy, and you're a mom who's not ready to close that chapter in her life (I don't blame you!) Good luck to you!!

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Like many women nowadays... women are having children at later ages.
Me included and my friends too.
We all have kids and were about your age or older, when we had our children.
I even have a friend that was about 47 when she had her 2nd child. It was on purpose. Her Doc gave her the go ahead.
Her pregnancy was normal and her child was born fine.

My own kids, were born fine and I had normal pregnancies.
I did opt to have an Amniocentesis, with both my pregnancies, due to advanced maternal age. That being, that I was 35 or over, when I had my pregnancies. And I got pregnant naturally each time.

It can take time to conceive. Even for younger women. So you cannot predict, how long conceiving will take.

Again, many women have children at your age.
It is common nowadays.

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M.J.

answers from St. Louis on

My husband and I didn't decide we wanted children until I was 40, so I hear your concerns. First of all, most of the celebrities at our age are getting donor eggs, so don't think they're just more fertile than the average person. I waited for about a year trying clomid only, then IUIs, before I went to an RE, and in that time my FSH went from acceptable to almost impossible to conceive. So I encourage you to not waste any time and get into an RE right away. Also you both need to be prepared for possible chromosomal abnormalities and determine what you will do if it happens (i.e. carry to term or abort). We ended up adopting, also a difficult process but in the end we have our perfect family, so you can always go that direction. Best of luck to you!

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B.E.

answers from New York on

I had my son at 40 - nearly 41 - and everything went fine. Naturally, I was nervous about birth defects and had all the testing, but there were no problems. I have never felt my age has been a detriment in taking care of him. However, I have always been very fit and active, so that has helped.

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C.B.

answers from St. Louis on

I was 42 when I had my third child with my other kids being 8 1/2 and when he was born. My 7 year old turned 7 the day the baby was born. I did not have any complications with my pregnancy and I too had to take clomed to get pregnant with my first and my third. My oldest is a girl and the other 2 are boys. So don't let age scare you away from having a baby in your 40's.

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J.K.

answers from Phoenix on

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J.F.

answers from Las Vegas on

I had my son at 42. Six months to conceive. Normal pregnancy. Continued to exercise and do yoga throughout the pregnancy.

Fetal distress necessitated a c-section, but all went well with that. Recovered quickly with no issues. I was walking up and down our stairs the day we came home from the hospital (four days after his birth).

He was a totally healthy baby, and is generally a very healthy boy (has allergies and asthma, but both are well-controlled).

We had three older children (my step-children) who were 11, 14, and 15 at the time. Although there were certainly adjustments we had to make with a new baby, everything worked out just fine. The kids are all very close and get along exceptionally well. Some days, you wouldn't even know there is any age difference between the 7 year old and the 18 year old!

If you do decide to try for another baby, I wish you a healthy pregnancy and a happy, healthy baby!

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