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Pregnancy Issues 40 Year Old Mom

I recently lost a baby due to chromosonal abnormalities at 13 weeks. I am 39 years old and already have 3 beautiful children. This recent pregnancy was not "planned" but very much welcome. NOw that I have lost this baby I can't stop thinking about trying for another one. I want to know if anyone has tried to have another baby after losing one for this reason. I am 39 years old and did not have any problems with my three previous pregnancies. My youngest is two so it was not that long ago. My OB told me that there was not that much difference from conceiving at 37 than at 39 years so we were very shocked at this outcome. I do not have any problems getting pregnant but I dont know if I could handle the process of the genetic testing again emotionally if we do conceive again.

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Actually a friend of mine did. She lost the baby at about 8 weeks. She didn't find out until the next visit. Well they decided that they were so happy to be pregnant again (their other daughter was 12 and had taken 10 yrs to conceive) that they tried again. They had a very healthy daughter nearly 5 yrs ago and she was at least 40 if not 42 when she got pregnant with Madison.

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My heart goes out to you. I have lost 2 pregnancies this year. I am almost 37 and had my first and only child at 35. That pregnancy was relatively problem free and I guess I kind of took it for granted that that was how it would be for me. Well, the 2 losses have knocked our confidence somewhat, but my husband and I are determined to try again later this year. In the meantime I am focussing on getting my body in better shape through exercising and eating more healthily. I gives me a purpose until we can try again and will only help to improve our odds for next time.
39 is not that old for pregnancy. My mother was in her early 40's when she had my younger sister, late 30's when she had me. I do think you might want to reconsider your feelings on genetic testing, though. As the other person said, are you emotionally ready for a child with genetic problems if you're not emotionally ready for testing? It might be best for you to know. I wish you luck with whatever you decide to do :O)

Hi K.-

My heart goes out to you and I am sorry for your loss.

I conceived a child through IUI w/ DS at age 34, no genetic testing. Abnormalities were found at 20wks. I lost the baby shortly thereafter due to DS issues. Thought we were done since I could not deal w/ that ever again-then just as we were not thinking about it, had a perfectly healthy baby at age 37...
Go for it and have the testing. You'll feel better.

Well it sounds like you have 3 choices. First, try and get pregnant again and do not do the genetic testing, two, try for another pregnancy and do the testing, or three, do not get pregnant again. If you cannot handle the genetic testing emotionally, how will you handle having a child with a disability if you choose not to do the testing? If this were to happen, of course this would most likely not be the case. I have a child with DS and would for sure do the testing if I were to get pregnant again at 39. I have had another child since her birth that was perfectly fine and I did the testing then. good luck to you!

I had my first at 35, my second at 37, then had two miscarriages (the second being twins), and then my third child at 40. I'm going to start trying for number 4 soon. My doctor did loads of tests and it turns out I have a gene mutation called PAI 1. It causes blood clots in your uterus and I guess can lay dormant and present itself randomly. I had no problems with my first two pregnancies. I injected Lovenox with the third child and carried him to term no problems. I will have to do the same with the next.

Did your doctor tell you that you had to go through genetic testing? I wouldn't think it would be necessary. I refused any of that. THey asked if I wanted it because of my age and the increased risk of abnormalities, but I told them I only wanted tests for problems that could be solved in the womb...like heart defects. If any other abnormalities showed up like Down Syndrome, I would still carry the child to term and love it like any other. Aborting a child because of physical issues is not an option for me. So unless that is an option for you I wouldn't think they would do any of those tests without your permission.

And they can't stop a miscarriage due to chromosomal problems if I'm not mistaken...so what's the point.

There is a very large population of women having babies in their 40's now. Look into the statistics and see what you find.

Actually a friend of mine did. She lost the baby at about 8 weeks. She didn't find out until the next visit. Well they decided that they were so happy to be pregnant again (their other daughter was 12 and had taken 10 yrs to conceive) that they tried again. They had a very healthy daughter nearly 5 yrs ago and she was at least 40 if not 42 when she got pregnant with Madison.

Hi K.,

I lost a baby (first pregnancy) @ 20 weeks due to a rare chromosome anomily. I was terrified to try again, but got pregnant again quickly. My husband and I did genetic testing and everything was ok (it was a one time blood test). I had a healthy son @ 40 and suffered 3 miscarriages (all @ 9 weeks)due to anomilies with the chromosomes; so I gave up. My daughter was born a year later @age 43 and she is an angel and I thank God for my children everyday. I did have a early amnio (a CVS @ 11 weeks and everything was good. I had the test @ Illinois Masonic and it was painless and I got to go thru my pregancy at least knowing the outcome would most likely be positive. (and it was) When you are ready I say GO FOR IT! Good luck. Even though I went thru a lot; it was all worth it!

I recommend the following resource as a resource with info that might put your mind at ease...


You can probably find it in your local library or through inter-library loan.

Best wishes,

So sorry about your loss. At any age, it is very difficult to grasp the loss.

Unfortunately, only you will know if you can handle the process of genetic testing. You and your husband need to work together to make the decision that is comfortable for the both of you and for your children who love you and need you. Because of your history and age, testing is important and most results have a positive outcome. So many moms are getting pregnant, later and later, and the medical advances are far superior then way back when. After you weigh those risks against the benefits - I hope you are at peace with your decision.

Just a last thought... way back when... I am the third (and last!) daughter of a mom who chose to have me at 43. Anything's possible.

I lost a baby with triploidy (3 sets of of chromosomes instead of 2) in the first trimester right after I turned 38 years old. It was my first pregnancy. Our endocrinologist assured us it was a completely random abnormality, like lightening striking, and wouldn't repeat. I had a gorgeous daughter a year later at 39. I didn't have any genetic testing other than ultrasounds. She's perfect. I plan to try again later this year at 41, delivering at 42, and am not worried. There's no reason for you not to try again. Just take care of your body and health, take your prenatals and a little extra folic and calcium besides.

So sorry for your loss, K.. I had one miscarriage at 8 weeks and then conceived my beautiful, healthy daughter at 41, gave birth at 42. It's not uncommon at all to have chromosomal issues (at any age, and even more so the older we get) and the genetic counselor I saw was not the least bit concerned. You can absolutely have a healthy child after a miscarriage such as yours. Not that it's a guarantee, but many, many women do.
As far as the testing goes, the way it was explained to me was this: do you want to be surprised now or on your delivery day? It's a very personal choice and I realize there are risks involved, but they are actually very, very small if you go to a good doctor who performs such procedures frequently. And there are much less invasive things than amnio or cvs. Talk to your doctor about your options. And if you need to take a little time to heal and feel prepared for whatever happens next, take it. It is very scary after such a loss. You lose your innocence about the whole thing. And be prepared to be worried for much of your pregnancy! As you know, it's good practice for parenthood:-)Enjoy the three children you have and try to be ok with whatever the future holds. Good luck!

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