Attitude and Boss

Updated on March 07, 2013
J.L. asks from Hoffman Estates, IL
21 answers

Ok I've been overwhelmed and burned out for awhile...No one's fault. I've sensed I'ave had an "attitude" but hoped no one would notice ha. I didn't think it was coming out at work. though....but..... Well as you know your boss asks you various questions and sometimes you don't know. So, I've said I that I don't know and kind of shrug my shoulders but then go no further. That's the best way I can sum it up. He finally said today that he doesn't want to get upset but that frequently now...he's noticed an attitude when he asks me things and that I seem reluctant to act on it.

Mamas I didn't get defensive...I looked him straight in the eye and said I was sorry and I did not mean to be that way and I appreciated him bringing it to my attention and I would work at it and change it. He said ok. It was a brief conversation. He made his point and he knew it and well I did to.

A reality check. I am not surprised he said something but ..I feel horrible about it and want to turn it around..Wouldn't you know it!!! Do you think I should go back and discuss it further or let it go? Should my future actions (POSITIVE ATTITUDE) and response to his questions let them speak for themselves?

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Featured Answers

J.S.

answers from Chicago on

You've already talked about it. He mentioned a concern, you apologized and promised to do better. All there is left to do is do better!

I think you handled it fine. Time to move forward.

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

Actions speak louder than words. He doesn't want to hear anything from you, he wants to see a different attitude.

When my boss asks me something that I don't know, I say I don't know, but that I can/will find out. There is nothing wrong with saying you don't know, as long as you know where/how to find out.

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A.B.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I think the way you handled this was very mature and appropriate.

I don't think I would harp on it...men don't really work that way anyway. In his mind, it's been addressed and he'll be looking to see whether or not you follow through.

Actions speak way louder than words, so just try to be intentional about engaging in a positive way from here on out.

Good luck!

6 moms found this helpful

C.O.

answers from Washington DC on

I would just let my further actions speak for itself. No reason to go back and beat a dead horse. You might want to thank him for bringing it to your attention and making you aware of your attitude.

I would be the employee he knows I am and start showing it with my new positive attitude!! You are lucky! You have a boss who cares. most would just say "I'm done" and let you go. Yours didn't! So you make positive contributions to the team!! Now go make yourself new and improved!!

As a sidebar - do you know what's causing your attitude? is it just life in general or something specific?

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E.T.

answers from Albuquerque on

Let your positive actions and attitude speak for themselves! If you go back and talk to him more, it's just talk. PROVE to him that you can do better. Then after a month of so of being positive and working a bit harder, if you're still feeling fidgety about this - talk to him to ensure that your new actions are visible to the company.

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

The point was made and you obviously got it.

I wouldn't hash it out any further.

I work in an INCREDIBLY busy office. I've spent years as an office manager and if one of my coworkers just said they didn't know something and shrugged their shoulders, I'd want to choke 'em.
Without perhaps intending it, that response basically portrays, "I don't know, and I don't care".

Question: Do you know what time Anne got in today?
Respnse: I don't know. (Shoulder shrug).

OR:

Response: I don't know. I was at lunch when she got here, but I can look on the computer to see what time she clocked in if you'd like.

Question: Do you know where the Jones client file is?
Response: I don't know. (Shoulder shrug).

OR:

Response: I don't know. Let me check to see if it's with the other client files or if there are any notes about who might be working on it.

See the difference?

Not everyone is going to know everything. Even your boss doesn't know everything or he wouldn't be asking you the question. It's okay not to know something, but a good employee will at least offer to help find the answer.

I really do think you can get this turned around. I think your response to him when he brought it to your attention was great. You didn't make excuses or get defensive. Perfect. Move on from here.

Trust me, working women get overwhelmed and burnt out. I'd be lying if I said it never happened to me.

Find a way to do something just for yourself. Recharge your batteries. Get in the habit of giving yourself time for a bubble bath. Get a pedicure and a foot massage. If money is tight, find a beauty college. They're cheap.
Don't fall into the trap that you can't find time for yourself because the kids need this or hubby needs that. You NEED to take care of yourself.

If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.

Hang in there!!

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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Moving forward, actions speak louder than words.
Show that the "discussion" was heard, and truthful by ACTING from here on our.
No need to revisit the comber station. Your boss made his point. You agreed & promised change. Now DO it.
Good luck!

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K.P.

answers from Miami on

Future actions will speak much louder than an unnecessary conversation. He sent a message and you received it. Now act on it and all will be forgiven. From here on out rather than blowing him off (shrugging your shoulders and saying "I don't know"), try "I'm not sure. Let me look into it and get back to you" then get back to him on it.

No one expects you to know everything all of the time, but your boss is looking for you to respond actively to his requests.

Good luck!

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M.F.

answers from Phoenix on

Let your positive attitude and actions speak for you!
The next time you don't know the answer to a question, let him know that you don't know, but you will do x, y and z to try to find out and will get back to him at the end of the day/tomorrow/etc.

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M.O.

answers from New York on

Honestly, it sounds like you handled it beautifully.

You responded to his question with a specific persona, and that's the persona you want to bring to work going forward. If you can just talk yourself into being that person from 9-5, you'll be in great shape.

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T.R.

answers from Milwaukee on

Good for you to recognize where you were at, & to take a respectful conversation with your boss in stride. I've worked with so many people who get defensive immediately - if we can't hear what others are saying & understand why they see it that way, how can we improve ourselves??

It depends on what you feel might need to be discussed further - what you have done in the past, the way he brought it up, WHY he brought it up, how you responded to it, how it made you feel afterwards, what it means going forward, what his expectations are...

If there are unresolved issues (other than you dealing with the feelings of being 'called out' by your boss & changing your approach as discussed) then yes, request time to meet with him again.

But if you just need to get your bearings on how you feel & why you have been responding the way you were in the past, & what you need to do going forward to make a change, then no, going back is not necessary.

What you could do is make an effort to be more engaged @ work for a period of time (2-4 weeks) & then schedule some time to meet with him again as a follow up -

"Ted, just wanted to touch base with you regarding our prior conversation. I've worked on being more engaged @ work & proactive in following up on things outside of my knowledge base. How do you think I'm doing? Here are some things that I've identified that would really help me to continue to stay motivated along this path..."

T.

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*.*.

answers from Philadelphia on

I would not go back and say anything to him, unless you have a strong reason supporting your attitude AND it's something that your boss can assist you with. I understand you are overwhelmed; we all get like this sometimes. I just wouldn't approach it with him unless you have an action plan. If he's a good boss, his first response to "I'm overwhelmed" will be "how can I help / how can we resolve this?"

I think you handled it well, and from this point forward letting your future actions and attitudes will show him that you meant what you said. You apologized, and made a point that you would work to change it. That's great. Not being defensive about it probaby says a lot :)

I agree with Bug, nobody is a perfect employee. Things like this happen! Hope you feel better soon.

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S.W.

answers from Amarillo on

Can you get a day off for a long weekend away from the area? A change in scenery might help you decompress and get a new attitude. Think how you can change what is going on in the job that affects you so. Could you ask for help or a change in the time that you work that would make things better? Come up with a plan and then work it.

Be thankful he didn't fire you on the spot.

Let your actions speak louder than the words. Men don't hash things out over and over. They speak about things one time and move on.

Good luck to you.

the other S.

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B..

answers from Dallas on

You can, if you think it will make the situation better and explain more. If you feel like the explanation wasn't enough, then go for it. I would be leery to tell my boss I was burnt out, though.
To me, it sounds like he is totally willing to see you change you attitude. I don't think you need to discuss it further. Have a positive attitude from here on out. Unless he doesn't seem receptive to your changes, allow your actions and attitude to speak.

** Don't worry about being the absolute perfect employee. It's impossible to live up to the perfect employee reputation. Just be positive, proactive, and helpful.

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S.E.

answers from Wichita Falls on

Dig out what is bothering you. If you are feeling burn out from work, find a workable solution and bring it your boss, no blame just suggestions for more positive work environment. If it's from home and bleeding into work, talk with your family. If you can't pin-point it, talk with someone about it, a counselor or pastor. It won't just go away till you deal with the cause.

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D..

answers from Miami on

I love how Shane gave you specifics. Like Shane, I've managed an office and I just didn't put up with what I considered to be disrespect from employees. You see, if they were acting like that to me, they were acting like it to their fellow employees too. One woman who worked in the office was difficult with everyone, and at the end she even slammed a drawer and almost caught another woman's fingers in it. Stuff like that just can't go on...

I'm not saying that you're ever going to slam someone's fingers in a drawer. But remember how you want to be spoken to and remember that part of your job is good communication with people. Always look up, make eye contact, and explain to the best of your abilities as your answer. Shane has given you a good example of this.

Hope that you are feeling better about life in general so that it will help you in your job. Hang in there!!

Dawn

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L.L.

answers from Rochester on

I think you may owe it to your boss to explain your past attitude, etc, but definitely try to put a more positively spin on it than being "burnt out." Apologize, explain that you've been feeling under the weather (or however you want to put it), and assure him again that you will be improving.

I think it would go a long way to make that extra effort just to say those things, and THEN follow it up with action...that way, instead of you just saying those things because he confronted you, YOU are making the choice to tell HIM that you are sorry, and here's why, etc.

Good luck, and I hope you feel better soon!

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M.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

I don't think you need to discuss it. It sounds as if you know you have a problem and what that problem is. So you don't need to take up your boss's time by wanting to talk about it more.

It's amazing what people notice when you think it doesn't show, isn't it? :^)

Go ahead dealing with the burnout and working on your positive attitude; your boss will notice that, too, when it starts shining through.

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H.M.

answers from Dallas on

Well depending on your type of relationship with your boss would determine weither or not you should give him more information. My boss I am very open with and I can tell her anything. We talk about so much in both our lives. I would have no problem opening up to her as to why I have had an attitude. But I would not do that with her boss.

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M.P.

answers from Peoria on

Just leave it alone and work on it. Sometimes we have a tendency to talk certain things to death when in a case like this, I think your actions will definitely speak louder. Good luck!

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A.P.

answers from Washington DC on

actions speak louder than words

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