Angry 7 Year Old Boy

Hi L., I too am a single mom of 2 boys 7yrs old and 2yrs old. I have been dealing with my 7yr old having anger and have tried counseling via play therapy. I got no results of doing this. I had more luck in working with my way of responding to the child. I read a book called 10 days to a less defiant child and found that using some of the techniques were very helpful. A lot of my 7yr old's issues are related around the attention that everyone gives to my younger son and he gets jealous and feels as though he isn't as important. So... by acting out he gets the attention as well. I had to step back a really take a look at the way our daily routine was going and change a few things. I also needed to incorporate some time just for my older son at the end of the day without his little brother interupting. Good Luck it can be very frustrating. However, you are doing the right thing by reaching out to others for help.
Sue

i wish you luck i got the same thing going on with my 10 yr old daughter i asked for help on here yet got no answers.

L.,
My son is going through the same thing. The teacher kept complaining that he was yelling at his classmates. My son never has problems making friends so this was unlike him. My husband and I did notice his anger.
After discussing this with his pediatrician, we decided to take him for counseling. She recommended a psychologist. I see the therapy helping. His teacher says he isn't yelling in class and his behavior overall is improving.

Try to speak with your sons physician. Maybe he/she can make a recommendation.

Good luck!

Hi L.,

My name is also L., and I am a single mother of an 11 yr daughter. I can empathize with the guilt of not spending enough quality time with your children but as you said, it's so hard......when do we find the time between work, homework, dinner and bath's for the next day. (In 2-3 hrs when we finally get home from work) Not only are we physically exhausted we are mentally exhausted. My daughter was also very angry at that age, and would hold it in. First, I will suggest counseling, it really can help if for nothing else maybe he will open up to a stranger as a confidant versus Mom who the issue may be about. That's how I pumped it up to her, this can be the person you can tell your secrets too. It always seemed my daughter was angry with me but didn't want to talk about it. I won't assume it's the same situation for you but for us I think being we weren't your typical family (Mom, Dad and kids) and with me working full time I had a hard time finding the balance of being a caring, loving Mom and reprimanding her for behaviors that I didn't like or appreciate. I used to tell myself that we only had 2-3 hrs a day to interact and I didn't want to always be the bad guy. I wanted to be the fun, understanding Mom. Always worried it was something in our life, situation or something I wasn't doing because otherwise why would she be angry right........not necessarily. That didn't work well for us. I went to a parenting class a few wks ago and the speaker was awesome. He thinks parents tend to negotiate with their kids, and that isn't a good practice to start because they will ALWAYS try and negotiate every situation. He asked the ? should children listen and everyone chimed YES, he said that's a fantasy, now DO children listen, everyone chimed no. He said that's right.........that's reality and the quicker you start living in reality versus fantasy the better off you will be. He said parent's need to draw the line. (This is Mom/Dad's line) If you cross it, there will be a consequence. And teaching them that is will benefit them and their lil worlds to listen to Mom. He believes children need but better yet actually want boundaries. He said when your in a situation with your children just ask yourself what would reality do. If they were in college and were having a bad day and in a bad mood would the Professor say oh yeah that quiz I was going to give, you can take it tomm when you are feeling better. No, and it's up to us to teach them that their actions will have consequences now and in the future. We can't control our children, (their behavior, how they react to things or ultimately what they will do) but what do we control.............everything in their world.......all their wants and desires. Maybe next time another option would be instead of offering a reward to be good, tell him there will be a consequence for not behaving. If your not good at Grandma's tomm, you will not have your special program, snack or toy for that evening. He gave many analogies, if your interested I can type up my notes from the meeting. :o) I hear ya and know EXACTLY where you are. Sometimes I often feel I am a dangling string, just waiting to see who is going to come up next and tug on it to need something of me......worry about balancing everything and keeping my daughter healthy mentally, wanting her to be a "happy" child but the bottom line is, if we are here and we are trying to find answers, that in itself shows we are in the right direction. I hope this helps, I wish you the best.......HUG. Your not alone......:o)

L.,

My son is going through the same thing. My mom said that he is going through the terrible sevens. When he was younger, he was such a good baby/toddler. He just turned 8 last month. He too sometimes walks around with an attitude. I had gotten a call from the school several times saying that he had a tantrum and notes home from his teacher saying that he doens't want to take tests or he just sat down with his head on the desk. I would often have to tell him to get that look off of his face which is a awful frown. I think it may be kids in his class teasing him. He does sometimes tell me that some of the girls in his class have been makin fun of him. I had written the teacher notes in the past letting her know my concerns and the principal. My husband and I have to make an appt. to meet with his teacher, the principal and the school's consleour. Hopefully we could figure something out. You too.

Hi L.- my name is D. I only have a 5 month old BUT i am the oldest of 9. What I suggest- Firmly telling him there is no attitude that will be accepted, but in that same balance try to do family fun activities. Create that family bond- after a while he might open up- this attitude isnt harmones YET, so it could be a cry for more family time.... Remember if you Set Ground rules ( KIds dont know it but they love predicablity) and then play a 15 min game of uno before they go to bed create a ritual that make them feel attched to you. JUST my opinion- but I wish u luck - ;^) D.