All-day Summer Camp, Age 4? - Novi,MI

Updated on May 02, 2012
J.O. asks from Novi, MI
18 answers

My 4-year-old is doing various camp programs all summer, most for 2 hours.
But for four various weeks of summer, it's 9 to 3. Is this OK? I feel she'll be overwhelmed by the long day, and she's kind of a homebody. I don't know if she'll really enjoy the camp, so that's gnawing at me.

But my kids fight all the time, and I don't want to spend summer like that. Then I get upset, they are fighting, etc. Miserable for all! So this way nobody is screaming and yelling (you should hear our house sometimes). Kids adapt. Some kids go to care all day (we didn't choose the early or evening add-ons). And I mean, kids of working parents spend all day every day doing that.

I'm so busy with the baby and tot. She'll be kept busy there. She might enjoy the field trip and water games, etc. I just feel like doing a shorter day is too much back and forth driving, plus it would ruin the baby's nap. So I really appreciate the 9 to 3 time.
Is it OK to do this to save everyone from stuck in the house fighting? (Note it's hard to get out with the baby so I'm willing to pay so my older ones can at least do stuff this summer).

Every time there is a day off from preschool, it foreshadows summer. It's rough. I would feel guilty if they spent summer with a grumpy mommy and I'm trying to be proactive to avoid the fighting, stuck in the house syndrome. Help!
From past experience with my older kid, when I pick up at 3, I'm much more relaxed and able to deal with all the children, and able to get to bedtime. :)

And to clarify, I am doing this for ME, of course. But at the same time, all of us, b/c I don't want their childhood to be a summer where we were all yelling and cooped up. And if the kids are occupied and not fighting, then they get a happier mommy. (And no one naps past 24 months here) This camp does not have naps, either. 5-year-old will be gone full-day, too. And a week or so, they'd be at the same one together since it's up to entering first grade.

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So What Happened?

Today was a test day. Despite taking them out to play for 3 hours, she is wrecking the house, even opening the front door (unsafe!) while I tried to shower. I spend all day just cleaning up messes, and she is the one who makes the most of them. I am more than happy to let her have her fun at camp!! She is very creative and loves to do crafts. I think she'll be fine.
Rather than hire a helper, I'd rather have the kids OUT of the house so I can work on it, be here for baby's nap, etc. It'd be awkward to have someone here. I'm grateful we have so many camp options. Yes, it costs money, but they are only little once. We're making it through these years, one day at a time.

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☆.A.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I like Catwalk's advice of a mother's helper at home.
To me, that seems like a long day for a 4 year old.
You have 5 kids, right? What is the older O.(s) doing?

1 mom found this helpful
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L.M.

answers from New York on

YES IT'S OK. My kids went to camp at that age and loved it. If you have concerns, sign her up for just one week, if she likes it add another week or two.

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C.W.

answers from Lynchburg on

Dear J.-

Just wanted to send you a note...as one mom to another...

I have 7 kiddos (23 years old to 15 year old twins). You sound overwhelmed!! And I 'hear' that because I've been there!! Honest!

I looked over some of your questions...many of which center on preschool...summer activities...language programs...lunch programs...

If I may make a suggestion...why not get a 'mothers's helper' for the summer? A local college or HS student who can help you WITH ALL your kiddos? They can be an extra pair of hands when you go on outings...or establish a routine when all kiddos are home for the summer?

I would be inclined to get a kiddy pool for the back yard...and with a helper, one of you can be out there with kiddos.

I would research local events/activities...and schedule outings around the baby's nap schedule...and know that...with a stroller or a sling...babies will sleep when they need to!

I just thought I'd toss that suggestion out there!

Best Luck!
michele/cat

5 moms found this helpful

M.D.

answers from Washington DC on

I would think she's be fine.

My son just turned 5, but all year he has been going to a babysitter about 830 in the morning until 1145, and then school from 1215 to 515 (the bus ride is LONG). He does fine MOST days with it.

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J.T.

answers from New York on

I think that it should be fine, by daughter who just turned 4 is in pre-school 2 days a week from 9 - 2 and handles it fine.

And you know what - she will adjust to longer day. She will be having fun and probably wond even notice.

Good luck!

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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

She'll be fine. You're right -those of us who work outside the home do this every summer! She'll probably have a great time and not even want to be picked up! She'll also be going to kindergarten soon, so it's could preparation for that.

It will do WONDERS for you to have her out of the house and to focus on the baby. Don't worry about it -it will be good for everyone! And hey -guess what -it DOES NOT MATTER whether you're doing this for her or yourself -YOU have feelings too and needs, so don't feel bad for doing something that gives you some peace.

1 mom found this helpful

D.B.

answers from Boston on

Check with the camp and find out how they structure the day. There should be some "down time" - lunch is one time, but probably there will be 2 snack times as well. Make sure there is provision for water breaks in the heat - very important. Ask how they handle kids toward the end of the day when they are getting tired.

The other thing to address, for your own peace of mind, is the chaos and yelling in your home. It's not working, so you all need to find another way to deal with conflict. Quiet time in their rooms or separate areas of the house is going to be more productive than all the fighting. I'm sure other moms can recommend some great books - but "How to Talk so Kids will Listen" is a classic. If what you're doing now is making you crazy, then it's just going to get worse as 3 kids learn that yelling and fighting is the way of the world. As a former yeller, I can tell you, there IS a better way!

Updated

Check with the camp and find out how they structure the day. There should be some "down time" - lunch is one time, but probably there will be 2 snack times as well. Make sure there is provision for water breaks in the heat - very important. Ask how they handle kids toward the end of the day when they are getting tired.

The other thing to address, for your own peace of mind, is the chaos and yelling in your home. It's not working, so you all need to find another way to deal with conflict. Quiet time in their rooms or separate areas of the house is going to be more productive than all the fighting. I'm sure other moms can recommend some great books - but "How to Talk so Kids will Listen" is a classic. If what you're doing now is making you crazy, then it's just going to get worse as 3 kids learn that yelling and fighting is the way of the world. As a former yeller, I can tell you, there IS a better way!

1 mom found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

not any different from full-time daycare :)

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M.L.

answers from Colorado Springs on

It could be that she'll do well. Actually, it may depend more on whether she likes the people who are in charge of her. If, as it happens, it doesn't work out, are you willing to change your plans?

From the way you write, it seems as if you're doing this for you rather than for your daughter. I appreciate your frustrations (having had a large family myself), but you need to acknowledge to yourself what you're doing.

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P.R.

answers from Cleveland on

I think I sent my kids to 9-3 type camps for a few weeks at age 4. I know what you mean though about it seeming long. So I think I checked if I could just pick them up early or drop off late. Most camps allow that. So if she's having a hard time after Mon or Tues, pick her up early or bring her late to shorten the day...

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Kids all over the world go to child care from 7am to 6pm day after day after day. Starting at 6 weeks old. This is not a big deal.

If she naps then it becomes a big deal. They will not let her stop to sleep and once she gets home she will be cranky and fall asleep at odd times then not sleep at night.

If she is going to turn 5 by the time school starts and is going into full day kindergarten then she may not need to keep the nap. A lot of kids who attend kindergarten don't take naps and by Christmas Break they are trying to start the weaning off nap process.

If she is still going to be 4 and going into Pre-K she must do naps. They will require her to lay down and rest in Pre-K. If she does not nap it will be very difficult on the teachers and other children who do nap. Our whole city and almost all the suburbs have all day pre-K so that's what I am basing this on. They all do a nap time from about 12:30-2. They get them up and do some activities before they go home.

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K.L.

answers from Savannah on

The only thing I would be concerned about is naps. If your 4 year old is still NEEDING afternoon naps, then it might be difficult for her. If she has already stopped napping or is very flexible and will be able to nap when she gets home, then she should be fine!

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K.O.

answers from Atlanta on

My kids are independent, so it might be a different situation, but my 4 year old loves camp and would go all day every day if he could. 6 year old loves all day camp. my 2 year old would eagerly go in a heart beat if an all day camp would take her. None of them would be overwhelmed.

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

I don't see the problem. If she is still napping, you need to figure that out, but otherwise it sounds fine. Many children (mine included) thrive in full time daycare and that is a longer day.

K.G.

answers from Boca Raton on

I send my son 3 full days during camp :) He gets burnt out on 5.. He's 5 years old

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L.O.

answers from Detroit on

It sounds like you want to drop off your kids as early as possible and leave them there as late as possible.. That having them home is just a horrible experience. If your house is as crazy and chaotic as you say in your posts.. I would absolutely sign all 4 of your kids up for full day 6 am to 6 pm day care .

you say.. yes it costs money but they are only little once------ so true they are only little once and you are trying to drop your kids off so the years they are little will be spent in various kid camps around town.. Why not play with them... get down and play with them..games puzzles color... my kids do fight.. but if I play too.. then all is good.

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

it does sound pretty long. but i love that you recognize and honor your OWN need for a break. probably worth a try, but be prepared to nix it if she's overwhelmed.
i second the advice to look for a mother's helper. nothing like having a young, energetic, old-enough-to-be-cool but still sharing a lot of the same drives and emotions kid to distract, referee, shepherd, oversee and galvanize. and a perfect starter job for young teens.
here's to a happy summer for mom!
:) khairete
S.

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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

Sounds like maybe you need this summer to really regroup and figure out how to get the fighting is under control.

Meanwhile, do try the all-day camp. I agree with others that she probably will do fine (and may love being her own person, away from her siblings, where she is not someone else's big sister). I would only add: Watch how she does; listen to what she says about camp; see if she seems overly tired and melts down after the long day, etc.; and be fully prepared, IF necessary, to pull her out of the all-day camp if it overwhelms her. Just have that in the back of your mind, because if the all-day arrangement makes her a cranky, overtired kid when she gets home, things may be worse instead of better. But, with that said, I think she may do very well. Just be sure to tune in to her reactions and her tiredness and crankiness levels at the end of the first few days.

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