Summer Camp/Mom of 2 Boys Needs Suggestions...

Bancroft Bible Camp in Bloomingdale is starting day camps this summer. I'm not sure of the cost, but I'm sure it is reasonable. They will have their normal weeks of overnight stays, but from what I understand they will be offering day camps every week.
The day camp may get them used to the atmosphere and you could look to the future for overnight stays.
I went here as a child every summer from age 8-16 and then worked there some. Wonderful place. If you aren't familiar I will be more than happy to get you some info.

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Make sure he doesn't have any issues (bed wetting, fear of being laughed at for sleeping with a blankie or toy, night terrors, etc.) My youngest daughter has a nervous stomach and feels sick when she goes on a long trip away from home or to sleep over most places. Maybe he feels that way. I started really pushing my daughter to stay with her cousin or her best friend when she was eight or nine, and she's been away to retreat weekends and then to week long camps. Generally she's unhappy the first day or two of a week long camp but then is fine. She does much better on a long weekend. Her problem with her nervous stomach is that she needs some private bathroom time, and with camp schedules the way they are she doesn't always get it. When she does, she's okay and has a great time. But i had to push her to do it, she'd have never gone on her own.

But three days isn't very long even if he's unhappy. His friends will be there, so he'll have fun at least part of the time. If it's really terrible, they'll call you. He's old enough to understand that you're not abandoning him and that you'll come back for him soon, his friends are there and he's going to want to be cool in front of them, and he can understand that if he really, really can't take it, he can come home, but that he should try to be really brave and stick it out at least one night, and then if it doesn't get better he can rethink it. If he's just worried about being away from you, I think he'll be okay after the first night. If the older boy makes it all three days and has fun, the younger one will be happier about doing it next year or the year after.

I don't think he'll be very unhappy. He may be anxious and he may not sleep well, but he'd get through it and be proud of himself for sticking it out. You could give him something very small, like maybe a stone with a word carved on it (you can get them at Christian stores with inspirational words) like Faith, and tell him he can hold it while he sleeps and that it will remind him to have faith that Mommy and Daddy know he'll be fine and are available if needed, and that God is watching him at camp just like he does at home. That gives him a reminder of your love and something to touch when he's anxious without being babyish like a blankie.

Of course, the eight year old will not be happy sleeping alone, either, but it's a good time for him to learn to do it, too. They're old enough to understand what's going on and to learn to handle their emotional reactions. You could have the ten year old ask his little brother to take care of something belonging to him while he's away.

Remember that if he really, really hates it, you can always go and get him, but you should encourage him to stay. My daughter called from Girl Scout camp at bed time crying and wanting to come home. After talking to her for a few minutes, I got her leader on the phone and asked if she could take her to the main building and let her use the indoor bathroom alone for a few minutes. She called back later and said she was fine and was staying and she had a great time. So sometimes you just have to figure out why they are uncomfortable and solve their problem. You have to pull it out of them, they don't always know what the problem is themselves. But if you can figure that out, you'll have given them freedom from that fear, and that's a wonderful thing.

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Hi K.,

If your older son doesn't have have bedwetting or night terror problems, I would encourage you to try it. Three nights is a lovely first time chance to go to overnight camp. Usually starter camps last 5 nights. My older son was hesitant to go, but he is always hesitant to try new experiences. However, he really "grew" from attending and now goes to this Christian camp every summer. I am of the view that boys sometimes need to be pushed a little to be more independent of their moms, but of course, in structured and supervised ways. When my older son (he's my homebody) came back home the first summer, I automatically said to him, "So do you want to go to camp next summer for one week or two?" Not "Do you want to go to camp next summer." That let him know I expected him to go again. He did have a good time, had great experiences, and didn't play gameboy or computer, which I was grateful for. My youngest looked forward to going to "big boy camp" the next summer, and they've both enjoyed it ever since.

Hope this gives you an additional view.
D.

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Well, I know there are many that say this is the greatest things for their kids. I sent my two boys on a week long christian camp. they were miserable, I called the camp to see how they were doing and they were nice and said the boys were having a great time. When I went to parent's day two days before the end of camp, the boys were so happy to see us and begged to go home they were miserable, other kids were mean to them and the counselors called them babies and "wimps" because they were so homesick. I think daycamp is all the kids need. They can come home to mom in the evening and be busy all day. No need for an overnight. With all the pervs just looking for prey...need I say more? Just let the boys go to a day camp and wait until they are older. There is no need for them to go overnight. If they need an overnight, send them to grandma's or a cousin's house where you can trust the situation to be a positive one. My kids never went to a camp again...so it is ok to let them experience day camps.

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I always wanted to go to camp and every year my mom would send me I would come home later that night sometimes at around 1 am so my advice to you is if he isnt 100% sure DONT SEND HIM!!! esp if its a long drive from your house. try to find a day camp. i know the YMCA has them. good luck!

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Hi kelly, My cousin works at a camp called "New Life Camp". It's off of Falls of the Neuse I think in N. Raleigh. It's A Christian camp and they do a lot of nature and sports. She's gone to it for years and now is working there.

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Look up Camp Henry (by Asheville). It has a three day camp (for younger children to 2 weeks for the teenagers) run by extremely well trained counselors (with a lot of energy). It is a Christian based camp that is fairly inexpensive (1/3 parent contribution, 1/3 parish contribution, 1/3 scholorship). Our church youth (all ages) loved it and there wasn't one complaint (except from the kids who wanted to stay there for the entire summer).

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Probably a 'day camp' would be best for both as a starter or an 'overnight' (one night) weekend or mini-camp, 'specially for the older one. Can they go to the same one together (Cub/Boy scouts or church-related)?

For 3rd grade and older, 4-H is a great organization if you have it locally and their camps are addictive (I met my husband at our county 4-H camp, and where we live now, it's open to any kid at least 10 or finished w/3rd grade whether they're in a 4-H club, or not. Kind of 'pricey', though)! Also, insist that they stick it out for at least half of the camp and assure them that if they want to come home by then, you'll pick them up. Usually this is harder on moms than on the kids once they get there and start having a good time. However, knowing that 'Mom' is stressed sometimes makes them feel that it is something to 'fear' or else they may 'push mom's buttons' by making a big deal out of whether to stay, come home, etc.
And, by all means (as some others have suggested), offer to be a 'helper'! Good for you AND the kids!

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I went through the same thing with my son. He went and both times had experiences that helped him growup. Both times, I left him with tears but when it was over, he had grown. Camp can be daunting for boys but carefully chosen Christian camps are wonderful overall.

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I would start them out with day camp for at least the first year. Then they can join a cub scout troop and be exposed to weekend overnights. Then they may be ready for a week long camp. Another possible solution is to apply to be on staff at the camp. Camps usually let the counselors (and other staffs) kids go free. That way, you can be together and still let them enjoy the camp experience.

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My son started going to summer camp with his church youth group the summer before 6th grade. He was 11 1/2. He didn't really have the opportunity before then but he had no problems whatsoever with staying away from dad and me for a whole week. I think that your son, if he's going with kids from church that he's comfortable with, will be absolutely fine. He'll get to camp and have so much fun that he won't want to come home. Being the overprotective mother that I am, I bought my son a pre-paid cell phone just before that and he didn't use it once. I told him that if he wanted me to come and get him, I would be there in an instant. Not one call! He did just fine. I'm sure that your son will be fine also. Your 8 y.o. might have some separation issues though. I'd wait with him. Good luck!

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K.,
My name is C. and I wanted to have my kids experience a wonderful Christian camp back in the day. But, I too was hesitant of all the unknowns. So, I became the camp director and had a crew of people I knew work with me. It was the most enjoyable and fun memories with my daughter. I was in charge of a cabin of girls which included my daughter.
Call the camp headquarters that you are wanting your boys to go to and see if you can be a camp helper. They always need crafts, games, song leaders, etc. Your children will see you there being a part of what they are experiencing. They will feel comfortable with their surroundings and make friends easily. There is no reason we, as parents can't make every experience a fun one for our kids.
About me, I am 49 yrs. old. I have been married to an Elem. P.E. Teacher and coach for 27 years. We have three children. My oldest daughter plays professional beach volleyball and my oldest son plays professional baseball. Our youngest son is on a baseball scholarship at UT, in Tennessee. We owe it to God who has blessed us and them. Also, it has helped them get confidence in themselves when we help make them feel good about who they are in this world. Hope this helps. May God bless you and your family.
C. H

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from personal experience (my baby isn't born yet!) I'll tell you when I was around 13 I went to Christian summer camp. I wanted to go but was very very shy and as soon as I got there, I did not want to stay. I BEGGED and CRIED and PLEADED with my parents to take me home, but they left me...I came home glowing and happy and I had so much fun. Your boys might love it and it would be a great new experience for them!

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We got a call to pick up our early middle school son one year from camp. He was miserable. Not sure why. He could have attended the same place as a day camper first, which might have helped. Another year he went to a different camp and still struggled but made it through. That year he kept a diary to record is lonely thoughts.
Judging from both my teen kids' experiences, it all depended on their determination to make the best of the situation. Having a friend around helped.

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I found alot of great ideas for day or overnight camps in the Nashville Parent Magazine...I think Williamsson CO..and a few other counties have there own addition too. My son is 6...and very social. THis summer he is going to the summer camp at my church..for the day camp...1st and 2nd go to day camp...3-5th stay all nite...and the parents are not called unless absoluterly neccessary. I work in the Childrens ministry at my church so I am going as a daycamp helper this year...since it is my sons 1st year. I don't worry about him being lonely or scared cause he knows so many kids and all the grown-ups so well...I DO worry that he thinks he is a great swimmer and has NO fear in the water ...he can swim...but needs to be watched constantly because of the no fear thing. I can't expect them to keep their eye on him every minute..thats why I'm going. I'll decide next yr if I want/think I need to go again. He has seldom spent more then one nite away from me...but does well when he does. But enough about my kid ;) Is the church camp a church you go too...or I think you said it was a Christian camp. If it was a church you went to where you knew some of the people I would ask just that someone you trusted keep an eye on him and if it got to be too much to make sure you got a call. If I didn't know the people well or they didn't come highly reccomended by someone I trusted I don't think I would send my son to an overnite camp...especially if he was scared..at least til he was 12 or 13...but if he is with his "buddies" I bet after the initial nervousness of the 1st nite he will be fine. It will be good for the boys to spend some time apart...maybe sleep-overs would be better for now. On the other hand it is just 3 days so if him being unhappy is the problem at least its not like 2 weeks. My son is also going to "drama" camp for one week...during the day..and I am thinkin about sending him for one other "specialized" camp....maybe "swim" cause I believe the ratio will be such they can keep up with him. 10 is a time they need to start doing things without mom and dad..just make sure you check into either the place he will be sleeping over or the camp he will attended ...because he is just 10 and still needs a very safe environment to be able to find his wings...God Bless

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Send the 10 year old definitely! He is just nervous about it. Reassure him that they will call you if he truly wants to come home, but you think he will have too much fun and not want to come!

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If your older son says he doesn't want to go to sleepover camp i wouldn't do it. You might want to start by having him spend the night at a good friend's house first. Just tell the parents tpo PLWASE call if they need to. My kids are 6 and 4 and they have never spent the night anywhere without a parent (even at Grandma's).

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