Age Differences Between Siblings.

Well my kids are spaced FAR apart...I have a soon to be 15 year old, I have a 10 year old and I have a 3 year old...I like them spaced far apart, I was able to spend a lot of one on one time with each of my "babies' and have very little jealousy issues. I never felt rushed, I never had two in diapers at the same time...and as an added bonus despite the age differences my kids are very close. There will always be pros and cons...it is a very personal decision.

Honestly, I think it has more to do with the personality of the kids than the age differences. I have a step-sister that is old enough to be my mom and have a great relationship with her. My bio-sister is 2.5 years younger and I have nothing in common. Can't speak to it from a mom point of view.

My kids are just shy of 10 years apart. I didn't plan it that way, but it worked out so wonderfully. It really did. My daughter was pretty much an only child for the first part of her life and she wanted a sibling so badly.
It was kind of hard on my son when she got old enough to move out on her own but she takes him places, he goes and stays with her at her house, they are very close.
Also, I just really didn't feel ready for my daughter to be old enough to move out. It was hard on me too, so thank goodness I still have my son at home. I think all the time that if they had both moved out on their own within a year or two of each other, I would have been bummed!
I guess there are advantages to both, but I'm glad I had my kids when I did.
I have several friends who have grown kids and a young one still at home. We feel like it keeps us young.

Best wishes! You'll be happy however things work out for you.

I have 3 girls all 4 years apart. I love love love it! Because at 4 my girls could do basic tasks with minimal physical assistance. Such as brushing teeth, going potty..etc. and they were also old enough to want to go to grandma's ALL NIGHT. Now they r 11,7&3 we do have challenges with the oldest wanting her independence and lots of privacy but those issues are easily resolved with her. Matter of fact the 2 oldest r sleeping together tonight. :) My 3&7 year old play together they all play together and they play apart as well. My two older ones are very good about knowing that even though they may not want to play what everyone else does, that its the time spent that matters. Now...4 years because I did not want 2 in diapers and did not want to potty train while nurturing a new baby. I wanted the time each needed and deserved to be available. Potty training is a biggie lol. At 4 my girls went to preschool and that was very helpful in giving the baby the time she needed also...my 2 sense :)

I have 6 children all at various age spacings. There doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reasoning about their closeness based on ages. If you think you will only have a couple, I'd put them closer together. They will naturally be playmates, making your job easier after the infant stage.

I 2nd that it's much more personality than age as to whether or not the kids will get along. My closest sister and I *despised* each other growing up... but one of my younger brothers (7 years difference) and I were the best of friends, and are still super tight today.

In my mums family, the siblings "paired" 2 / 2 / 2 with the sib that was closest in age (there is the outdoorsy pair, the traveling pair, the hotel pair... which also links as the first 2 were into outer space -astrophyisics and space shuttle engineer... sahps... and sales-weasles ;) aka business... and also paired as extreme sports, arts & culture, & motorsports -motorcyles/car racing.

In my dad's family, everyone went their every which way. Navy, farming, alcoholic, priest, sahm, artist. They all get in contact with each other once every 3 or 4 years or at graduations or funerals. None of them are close with any other.

Jumping back a generation gets even more diverse. Oldest and youngest, closest, middle, none at all... it really depends soooooo much more on personality than age.

We started trying for our second so that they would be two years apart. We learned a hard lesson then because it turned out that it wasn't going to be easy to get pregnant again. After five rounds of Clomid, I became pregnant so that they ended up three and half years apart. Then, six years after that, I became pregnant again with our daughter naturally .

My lesson to myself was that it all works out. The boys are still close enough to play with each other now but far enough apart that I only have to help one with MAJOR reports and only one that I have to help with organization. The baby is loved by all and the boys are helpful but in different ways. The older one is able to really help by removing her from dangerous objects, reading to her, etc... The younger one is able to play with her.

So, concentrate on staying healthy and enjoying each 'gift' as they are given to you. Whatever distance in time they are given to you, appreciate the miracle they are! Good luck!

My first 2 are 2 years apart and our next one that is due soon will be 18 mo. younger than the last. We feel this is the ideal. (for us) They will all have more in common and enjoy their childhood together (even the fighting, lol). They will go through all the stages together (good and bad) and I think that's great for the mommy brain too. When I went to my first OB appt. with this last one, even my Dr. commented that the age span with the kids was a good one, and then when I was chatting with the lady who took my blood later that same day she told me that hers were 8 years apart and she really had wished she had them close together, so that they could have been close (in their relationship) and that it seemed like she had two "only" children.
In my opinion...close together is GREAT! :)

I had my twins six years after their brother. I do see a lot of exclusion with them. They love their older brother, but he's busy doing teen things and they have each other.

Now, my parents had three girls; my older sister and I are 2 yeas apart. We played together when we were young and fought when we were teens (typical sibling rivalry - especially when it came to the bathroom, we only had one), and as adults we keep in touch regularly. 13 years later along came my little sister. We loved her and took her with us, but we used to tease my parents they waited on having kids until they had built in babysitters.

My little sister was just starting Kindergarten when I was a Senior. After I graduated we didn't see each other very often. Now as adults, we don't talk as much. Not because we don't like each other, we do love each other and I'm the family mediator when she and my older sister bicker, but because we don't have much in common. Our taste in music is night and day, the way we run our households is well, galaxies apart, LOL. But I tell you, when the whole family reunites we complement each other very well. And it's never boring.

So, it works, but I do wish I knew my little sister as well as my older sister.

I do see my teen son (he's 16 now) keeping tabs on his brothers and he'll mention things they like (he even helps me Christmas shop for them). And the twins (who are 9 - they'll be 10 soon) keep tabs on their brother, so it's nice to know that they care enough to notice little things.

That didn't help at all, did it? I guess age difference doesn't really matter. It's what you and your husband are comfortable with.

I have an older brother (18 months older) and a sister 5 years younger and a brother 13 years younger. I definitely think closer is better if you can survive the "baby" stage. :)
I have a girl 5 and a boy 3 and I love the age difference!

DH and I are TTC our second, my son is almost 3 1/2 and I struggled with this question. As others have said I think there are a number of things that come into play with discussing this, including, personality, family dynamic, and number of kids. I am the youngest of three girls, my two older sisters are 17 months apart and I am 2 1/2 years younger than my middle sister. Growing up I always felt left out because they were closer in age and had more in common. I also had alot better relationship with my oldest sister who is 4 years older than me. So for me, I ideally would have wanted my kids about 3 to 3 1/2 years apart but financially that didn't happen for us as we would not have been able to afford childcare for two kids. I also don't want more than two kids, or I should say I don't want three kids coming from a family of three kids. It's either two kids or four kids for me! :)

My first two are 14 months apart- then there was 2.5 years then another 18 months and then 4 years, now 13 months. I seem to have my kids in pairs! They all get along great and sometimes the ones closer in age will play together- other times it will be the 10yr old and the 4yr old playing while the 9yr old and the 6yr old will do something else.
Having kids really close together(14 months) is hard when they are little because your first is still a baby- so sometimes you are literally caring two babies around with you. And handling 2 crying, tired and hungry babies is always challenging- to say the least! But they have similar interests because of age- they always have a friend to play with and passing down clothes is a lot easier because you are not storing them for years.
When you have a child who is older/further apart(2.5 yrs and 4 yrs) they are a big help and still being that little, they love to do it! I have my kids get the diapers and wipes for me when the baby needs to be changed- they older ones have learned how to fix a bottle and the baby loves watching and trying to play with all her older siblings. It is harder because when you are tired and baby is tired- non of the other kids take naps any more- so you are just tired or you fall asleep in front of another Disney movie you put on for your older ones! It is also hard to divide the time you spend with your baby and the time you spend with the older ones. The schedules don't always match up as well- like baby wants to eat when son needs help with homework and it's time to make dinner for everyone and other son need help buttoning his pants-etc!
But either way, it has been fun! We get our bad days- but mostly they are good and you just learn to handle anything that comes along!
Good luck!
~C.

My older half brother and I are 8 1/2 years apart and we had some issues as kids, but get along great now that we are adults. Our mom says that he thought I was great until I was about 5 and he was 13. He moved out at 18 and we didn't have much contact due to moving around until I was 13 and he was 21. From that point on, we got along great! I also have a younger half brother who is almost exactly 7 years younger than me. We weren't raised together and we aren't close. He was raised by our father and his mother. He and I get along well when we do see each other, but we've always lived on the opposite sides of the country, so it doesn't happen often.

My husband is the oldest of 4. His next youngest brother is 18 months younger than him. Then 2 years later, they had a sister and then 4 years after that another brother. They all get along well and did as children, but had the usual arguments. I agree with the idea that it has to do with the personalities of the children and the dynamic of the family more than the age difference between the children.

My husband and I would like to have a second child, but financial issues have prevented us from trying to conceive just yet. I have PCOS and I'd like to be done with having children before I turn 40, so the time is quickly getting away from us. If we have another child soon, the age difference will be around 6 years and I don't see that it will be a problem, but I'd like to either have another baby sooner rather than later or just come to the decision that our daughter will be an only child.

Here is a great and full response to this question on Natural Life Magazine:

http://www.naturallifemagazine.com/0812/ask_naomi_aldort_...

My sons are 2yrs, 2 days apart. I desperately wanted my kids close in age, since I grew up with a brother about 20 months younger and loved the experience. My husband has a sister 10 yrs younger and felt much like an only child, and also like he wasn't treated as well. My older sister (10 yrs also) had similar feelings of unfairness. I think siblings closer in age are more likely to feel like they were treated pretty equally. The caveat: My boys are 2 and 4, and the last couple years have been HARD! I know the benefits will be coming soon, since they are already learning how to communicate as friends, but don't expect too much early on. Just brace yourself and enjoy the ride!

My daughter is almost 21 months as well and we just started to TTC this month... Ideally we wanted them to be 3 years apart, but since we don't know how long it will take to conceive we decided to start start trying now... My sister and I are 7 years apart and my brother and I are 10 and that was way too much difference for me... My sister and I are just starting to be closer since we have always been in different phases in life it was hard to relate, my brother and I still have nothing to relate to since he is still a teenager. My husband and his sister are 3 years and it seems like a perfect number to me... Your kids aren't too close together where you don't get to enjoy each one "baby" stage and the older one is able to understand a little more what's happening! Good luck:)

My boys are 4 years apart and we love the age gap. It gave us 4 amazing years with our oldest who is old enough to be a little more independant which allows us to have some quality time with our youngest!
Our oldest was also very helpful when his brother was born and still is!! And the youngest idolizes his big brother :)

My perspective as a child: I have a sister that is 25 months older, then younger siblings 4,6, and 11 years younger. I enjoyed playing with all my siblings, but related best with my older sister. It is nice having someone close to your age. I felt more like a helper with my younger siblings. We are all still very close.
My perspective as a Mom. My kids are 7, almost 5, and 18 months. The older two are very close and play very well together. It at times is difficult, they feed off of each other with undesirable behavior, but so often play very well making my job easier. With my youngest son, the older two do help out sometimes and that is nice, but they will both be in school next year and he will be left to play alone. I feel like I have been able to devote a little more of my time with him than my 2nd child because of the spacing, but I worry that he will at times feel left out. Hopefully baby #4 won't be too long in coming.
I think that the best spacing is between 2 and 4 years some time. Any spacing has positives and negatives. The closer they are together - the better friends they can be, and they learn many basic skills earlier and easier (such as sharing, being nice, and gentile) The farther they are - the more time you have to prepare and dedicate. Good Luck

I have girls that are 10 months apart... thats way too close!!! I then have 3 years between the girl and boy... much better! My brother has 3 kids that are 4 and 6 years apart and none of them seem very "connected" to the other.
I grew up with an older brother that is 2 years and 10 months older than me... real close to what your kids would be if you got pregnant right away, right? If I had it to do again, knowing now how close my brother and I are...and thinking back with a more "adult" view of how close we were growing up... I wouldn't suggest anything else. We always had a lot of the same friends, or within the same circle, which meant we were together quite a bit... his friends watched out for me growing up, etc. Now, one of my favorite things to do is talk about our childhood together... we have more memories of doing thigns together than apart. I love it.

Mine are 6 weeks shy of 3 years apart. We were aiming for 3 to 3.5 years apart. When my oldest turned 2 we figured we could stop being careful...and I was pregnant 6 weeks later. I figured it would take a little longer since I was 38 and it took several months with the first one. I think an extra 3 to 6 months would have helped me be better prepared. Some people love a closer age spacing like 18 months, others a longer one. My husband and his brother are 16 months apart and he thought it was too close (they are not at all close as adults, lots of fighting and competition as kids). My sister and I are a little more than 4.5 years apart. It took a long time for us to play together and have fun because of the age difference. but we get along pretty well now and mostly have since we were teenagers. I can remember a lot from before she was born so I think that contributed to the sibling rivalry (but she was also born the week I started kindergarten so that didn't help either). If you have a lot of energy or can get help (family or paid) then closer can work. It is hard the first several months or even a year then it gets better. Farther apart is easier in the beginning but the kids may not be as close later. My mom is the oldest of 5 siblings (all 3 or 4 years apart) and was closest to the ones near her age. As they all got older (the "baby" is almost 50) she got closer to the younger siblings too. Her younger siblings were teenagers when she had young kids and now they have kids and teenagers and she is a happy grandma, laughing because she finished the hard work of raising her kids.

My nephews are 4 years apart and not close at all...one is almost 16 and the other is almost 11, they have nothing in common!

My stepsons are 3 years apart and were pretty close when they were little...but then around 10 and 7 they started to fight and the older one was always bossing little brother around and taking over the toys and always wanted to be in charge of imaginary play...they are now 19 and 16 and one is out in the world on his own and the other still in school, and being boys they don't call each other to just catch up as girls might?

I have 3 kids and they are all 2 years apart and I think that is better...the 2 oldest are boys and are very close...still have a lot of fun together...can't really speak about the baby, because she us the one and only girl in the family and gets babied by all...especially her brothers!

~I personally think it has more to do with family dynamic rather than age...I only have one sister, we are 2 years apart and are very close...we talk everyday, usually more than once and choose to live close to each other....hubby on the other hand also only has one brother and they are 2 years apart but are not very close at all, I have to remind him to call his brother!

Mine are 11 months apart, not by choice but it turned out awesome. Transitioning was very simple, the oldest had just started walking when his brother was born. I still had all the baby stuff handy. My boys grew up very tight with each other and still are to this day. Absolutely no sibling rivalry to report and I know that is rare, I was very blessed. I would encourage having the kids close together since it worked for me, but I'm sure we all have our stories and varying opinions. My sister and I were 3.5 years apart and we did not get along one single bit .... I feel bad for my mom for having to deal. My sis passed away from a brain tumor when she was 18, so I really feel bad that we werent close growing up. I was able to change that in the last couple of years of her life, but we were hell to raise in the younger days. She was too young and I didnt want her messing with my stuff and I had no patience with her despite my mother doing whatever she could to make me embrace my sister, I just never did. There were rare occasions that we played barbies and some other things without fighting, but those moment were few and far between. Anyway, after all this my vote is closer together the better ;)
sorry for the vent there, guess I needed to let out some "stuff".
I feel better now.
Thanks for the question ;)

Hi, my daughters are 16mths apart and I have a son who is 4yrs younger than the youngest and my experience is closer together the better!! Sure it felt like I had twins (double bottles, diapers, potty traning) but when a stage was done..it was done!! Now I have diapers, bottles, naps, different schedules Oldest is 6yrs, youngest is 1yr!! If I have any advice it would be CLOSER!!!!!!!!

Best Wishes!!

My boys are 21 month apart. I love it because they are into the same things, so they make great playmates. Of course they fight alot, but they are also best friends. I wouldn't have it any other way.

My kids are 2 yrs 4 mo. apart (2 grades, too) and they are very close. I grew up feeling left out and am still not very close with my siblings. I am 4 yrs younger than my sister and 5.5 yrs younger than my brother. They were close growing up, some shared friends and their own as well, and I always got left home. They didn't want the little sister tagging along. I hated it.

I vowed that I wanted my kids to be 2 grades apart and no more. This way they could have their own space and yet have some shared friends in school.

My 2 oldest children are 21 months apart. It was not as hard as I thought it would be. They had a playmate. Most of the time they love each other but they do have their moments.
With my 3rd baby there is 3.5 years between her and my middle child and a little over 5 years between the oldest and the baby. It is very nice. The 5 year old helps alot and loves his sister. She thinks he is the funniest thing ever! My 3.5 year old also loves her very much. He plays with her alot and has to give her kisses before bedtime.
I love the age gaps I have