Okay, here is my latest experience and it is a strange one! My husband and I went to lunch yesterday and we sat in a booth. Another couple was in the booth right beside us and all of a sudden, we hear a very loud laugh. I am talking almost like an alarm and very shrill and it also echoes throughout the restaurant. This is the kind of noise that makes you stop and turn and think what was that? This happens over and over all during our lunch. At one point, my husband physically jumps in his seat and asks me, “What was that?”
It is the woman in the booth sitting next to us. It seems that the man she is with must be very hilarious to her. She is very pretty but she is so loud. She is talking and you cannot help but overhear her conversation. I hear her tell about her dating life and also that she does not have any girlfriends. I also notice the laughing is at inappropriate times because the man has not really said anything funny at all.
My husband had finished his sandwich and we were going to split a cookie. I asked him if we could please take it to go. I told him that my ears were very sensitive and her laughing was just like torture to me. We got out on the sidewalk and we decided to sit outside at a patio table and chairs there. It was very quiet and pleasant and I wished we had left sooner.
While we were sitting out there, three young women came outside with their food and they sat outside too. They all three looked at the woman inside who was laughing while they sat down. I then knew they made that decision similar to ours and it was to get away from her.
Before we left, my husband wanted to refill his drink and went inside for a few minutes to get it. When he returned, he told me that she was still laughing and that it made him jump again. I felt so bad for that woman. My husband said that someone needs to write her note and tell her what she is doing. I could not tell if she was just nervous or socially awkward or backward. All I kept thinking about is that TV show where a woman helps people work on changing their behavior while on a date. She films a couple of their dates and shows them what they said or did wrong. Then, they watch the dates together and she critiques it. Later, she helps them try and make a good first impression and sometimes gives them a makeover. I cannot think of the name of the show though.
Has anyone ever encountered loud laughing like this? It was just the strangest, strangest experience! After we left, I really wished I would have been bold enough to write her a note. Would you be bold enough to write a note and if so, what would you say in the note?
To OneandDone:
I have been to lots and lots of public places in my life and heard lots of loud laughing. This was not just loud laughing like I said before it was so shrill and made both my husband and myself jump from the sound. It was totally different from an occasional loud laugh. That is why I said the experience was strange and none like I have ever encountered before. My husband thinks the same way, very strange sounding laughter and not the norm.
Thanks to the posters who mentioned Tourette's. I would have never even thought of that. Good insight and it might have been something like that, who knows? It was definitely an out of the ordinary situation that is for sure.
I wouldn't have moved, but after the first three laughs I would have spoken to the manager and asked him/her to speak with the couple. If that didn't work I would have asked to be moved to a quieter location or made the move as you did much sooner.
you have to be careful about leaving a note or even telling a stranger about their behavior. she could have a mental illness that causes such behavior. my grandmother had some kind of mental illness and all i remember about her was that she laughed all the time no matter what was said!!!
Who knows what was going on. Maybe she was a loud laugher.
Maybe she was drunk, high or mentally I'll.
Would I write a note? No!
Far as I know, the US doesn't have a "Laugh Police" squad.
I think we've all heard loud or annoying laughter in a public place.
P U B L I C place.
I think I would have exercised my right to leave but wouldnt leave a note!
ETA: ummmm....ok. But really what's the point if this updat to me? I read your description of what happened and I gave my thoughts.
Unless she was endangering someone else or similar, then involve the authorities, but, imo, not our place to "correct" someone, right? The management might have asked her to keep it down or leave as well.
I wonder if it could be like Tourette's Syndrome, her bizarre laugh. Leaving her a note wouldn't do any good.
We used to go to a restaurant where a man with Tourette's frequented. He would make these awful noises, when he was talking, or during quiet points. They just exploded. I would jump, and it was just plain unnerving. Everytime we went, I would look around to see if he was in there, hoping he wasn't. I don't mean that to sound unfair, but it is really how I felt.
Thing is, there are plenty of people who have no idea what Tourette's is. I doubt anyone left him notes. They probably just told him to shut the heck up. All that would have done is make him feel awful.
So whether or not this is Tourettes, a note isn't really going to make any difference. If she CAN help it, she won't want to hear your opinion. If she can't help it, it won't help anyway.
Dawn
She could have some kind of personality or mental disorder, and not be fully aware or totally in control of her actions. I have a relative that suffered a stroke at a relatively young age (i.e., in her 40's - she's now in her early 50's). She is sufficiently recovered that she can live on her own, but cannot work (collects Social Security and disability) and cannot drive. She laughs at odd times too. It's not that shrill or annoying in any way, but it can be loud and does catch you off guard and seems excessive for that moment. Leaving her a note or bringing it to her attention isn't going to change anything - it would probably just make her embarrassed. I say, leave well enough alone and MYOB.
My bet is that the woman has a personality disorder. A loud, cackling, inappropriate laugh is a classic sign of narcissistic people, or someone who has been raise by narcissistic parents. It's all very dramatic and that kind of laugh is a clue. The best is just to ignore it and act as you did. Take your cookie to go and escape the scene.
I think that you did the best that you could do. This would drive me crazy as well. I have felt like this before with people at restaurants that continually sneeze or cough...geez at what point do you excuse yourself from the table.
Seriously, you really don't know who the man was to her. If it really was a date, saying something or a note could have embarrassed her even further.
I experienced something like that too just the other day.....while standing in line at a grocery store. The couple behind me, the man had the loudest laugh I had ever heard. He was at it the whole time and people kept turning to look at him. The woman kept talking and talking but I couldn't hear what she was saying because he wouldn't put a lid on it, he kept laughing that LOUD laughter; yea it was annoying. :) I enjoy a good laugh and sometimes I crack up when I hear people laughing, its contagious. But this guy had this strange loud laughter that was annoying and the fact that it was nonstop made it worse.
Did you consider that possibly she may have hearing problems? She may be unable to hear her own laugh or voice very well and may have no idea at all that her own volume is so high. And maybe no one close to her has told her, for fear of hurting her feelings.
Some folks also have naturally loud voices and should be told kindly to curb them -- but not by strangers. I would never write a total stranger a note like you suggest. You have no idea of the situation with her that night, or what she or her date is really like (volatile? violent? easily riled to anger?), whether she is fragile and would be so crushed by such a note that she wouldn't go out again....you have no idea. Just not worth the note. If you worked next to her in an office or saw her each week at some group you were both in, then there would be reasons to approach her about this (IF she did it all the time) but I would not address a total stranger about a problem of just volume.
I'm with Dawn. It absolutely sounds like Tourette Syndrome. I have a friend whose son developed this at age 13 and it involves all kinds of involuntary sounds, movements, tics, and so on. He went through a barking phase, and also through a swearing phase. There is nothing this person can do about it. People who complain can make the person even more stressed, which can cause an increase in the tics. That doesn't mean they are CAUSED by stress, but rather they can be aggravated by additional social pressure.
I know it's annoying, but imagine being the person suffering. It's a life sentence. My friend's son has been asked to leave restaurants and theaters, religious services, college classes and more. He was much happier when he found understanding and compassionate people in his surroundings.
The more we educate ourselves about these things, the better off we all are. I know my son learned a lot by being around my friend's son (in fact, that's how he learned to swear!! LOL!). But later we would see or hear people in public places, and my son would say, "Mom, do you think that person has Tourette Syndrome?" A lot more compassionate than saying "Boy is that person weird and inappropriate."
Well someone liked her enough to take her to lunch. Laughter is healthy, well for her anyway.
No, I would not write a note, although I get what you're saying completely. I've seen it myself as I'm sure a lot of people have.
But if this is the strangest experience you've had, gosh, I'm not sure what to think. Either you're very sheltered or very inexperienced or very lucky.
Don't worry about the woman she'll get along and find for herself. If you're concerned - pray for her, put her in her own soul's light and let her go.
Sorry you experienced that. Honestly, it made me think of Janice on Friends, lol.
I would not leave a note. Even though it sounds as if you have the best of intentions, you really have no idea what was going on, so a note would probably not be of much help. It could be something like Tourettes that someone below mentioned. It could have been someone on medication/high. It could have been someone nervous. It could have been exactly what you suggested it might be. But none of us knows. And a note likely wouldn't have been taken in the spirit in which it was given.
Wow...when I read this, I wondered if she is the same person who works in my office. I rent an office from one of those full-service places and there is a woman several offices down from mine who does what you describe. Drives me nuts. Her issue is definitely not Tourettes. My business partner thinks the woman is on some sort of medication. She laughs all the time. There is no way her co-workers are that funny every time they say something. I am very close to saying something to her about it. It is so disruptive and inconsiderate of the others nearby (and several offices down, like me!), but I don't think she realizes it. I would let it go it if was every now and then, but it is nonstop when she is in the office.
DATE PATROL! I loved that show!
I have a good friend who has an odd laugh any time we are in public. She is drop dead gorgeous, and actually does some modeling and has been in a few films, TV shows, and commercials.
Anyway, she tosses her head back and laughs really loudly in what I can only describe as a "feathery" laugh. She almost sounds like an evil queen who has just killed Snow White. She doesn't laugh like this when it's just the two of us, and this didn't develop until we were in our 20's. (I've known her since grade school.) It's odd, but I just grin and bear it. I often do wonder what other people think when they hear her laugh.
This crazy laughing lady probably wonders why she never gets a second date. Too bad we can't call Date Patrol for her. The best that we can hope for is for her to overhear some people in the ladies room talking about the crazy laughing lady sitting at the table next to them.
Inappropriate loud laughing that was startling in manner is probably Tourettes.
Besides the fact that it was a very odd laugh, I would just figure she was the type that is very loud with men. I've seen women like that and I personally don't get it. If it was Tourette's Syndrome, then that's another whole issue. I guess there wouldn't have been much you could do about it.
Since I would have had no way of knowing the cause, I probably would have just asked the manager or the waitress to ask her to turn it down a notch or two, or three or four!!!
Hope your next lunch with hubby is a better experience!!
I was going to say, bipolar? drugs? and then I saw the tourette's...quite possibly some sort of a condition. I actually have a sister, sadly who I haven't seen in a long time (her choice to not see our family) who seriously needs medication (hopefully it will happen, my mother and step father were going to take her to a doctor-finally my mother takes a stand in one of our lives) and we will see if she comes round.
Yes and it's creepy. We had a receptionist who was constently grinning like a cat and laughing all the time (except when she was talking)....it was awful! People really tried to avoid her.
In a public place, I would ask the management to ask the woman to tone it down because it was disturbing other guests.
