9-Year Old and Insomnia!

I'm not understanding why her waking at night is affecting your sleep? At 9, she should be able to "self soothe" for lack of a better word. She can be set up with the tools she needs in order to stay in her room when she wakes (you don't mention she is doing anything other than waking or partial waking - like screaming, walking, nightmares, etc.).

A couple of things you might want to try -

1. No screen time of any kind for 60 minutes prior to bedtime - zero.

2. Melatonin - ask a doctor for the correct dosage as too much can actually cause vivid/bad dreams which would defeat the purpose.

3. Bedtime routine

4. Make sure that there is no exposure to anything stimulating food or drink wise in the hours leading up to bedtime. Different things affect different people. For example, my husband cannot eat products with MSG within 5 hrs of bedtime or he will kick me all night long in his sleep. 9 is old enough to not need a bedtime snack so after dinner, I would limit it to water only until bed.

5. Waking her 1 hr into her sleep cycle. Sounds counter-intuitive, I know, but it works. We had a daughter who was sleep walking (which can come from restless sleep/bad sleep cycle) and the pediatrician said that waking her up enough to answer 3 questions one hour after she was asleep would reset her sleep cycle. It worked!

6. If all else fails, speak to her doctor about a mild over the counter sleep aid like Nyquil ZZZ or something. We had to do that for our son for 14 days to correct his sleep cycle.

I suffer from insomnia and one of the tools I use is to leave my light on next to my bed. For me it eases the pressure I feel to go right to sleep. Having a book to look at helps, too.

Good luck!

Aw poor thing. My youngest when through periods of insomnia when her anxiety was high, around age 10 through 12. She always started the night in her own bed but she knew she could bring her pillow and blanket and sleep on our floor, which she often did.
I'm not sure why she's waking YOU up though? Are you and your husband just really light sleepers?
If so try sleeping with earplugs, that might help. Your daughter isn't a toddler after all, so it's not like you need to worry about her safety if she wakes up at night.

I have restless leg syndrome. It frequently gets misdiagnosed it kids as anxiety because they don't have the words to describe how it feels.

Question - does she get it while watching TV or sitting still? In a car on long drives, for example? That's how you can tell the difference.

As for anxiety over falling asleep - that's when they can't shut their brains off - turning off devices, TV, etc. and even reading in another room - and then going to bed only for sleep is key.

My son would veg with me and then just to his room when he was good and drowsy.

If it's RLS, meds will help and then you can rule that out. I don't know if they medicate kids for it. RLS can be horrible - so when you say 'that was it' it can keep you up all night. They should treat it.

Hmm. Puzzling problem.
If she's not always coherent when she wakes - I'd say she's not all the way awake.
Kids often have trouble with night terrors, sleep walking/talking because their sleep cycle is still developing - and it's something most people out grow sooner or later.
Well except for me - I'm in my 50's and still talk in my sleep - but I'm not awake when I'm doing it.
The only reason I know it's happening at all is my husband tells me in the morning what we talked about - sometimes it's pretty funny stuff.
My moms says I use to sing in my sleep - I was in chorus so I guess I was practicing.

I'm sure she's getting plenty of exercise - a good run around outside in the fresh air is great in the afternoon.
No caffeine (soda, chocolate, coffee (ok maybe not for a 9 yr old), caffeinated tea, etc).
No screen time of any sort 2 hrs before bedtime - reading a book is fine.
Wake up/bed time is same every day - even weekends and holidays.

Why does she need you when she wakes up?
She's 9 and can occupy herself - read some more, use the bathroom, get a drink of water, etc - if she wakes in the night.
Can you tell her that you know she's having sleep issues and you're sure they'll work out eventually but it's ok if she wakes up and have a plan for what she can do without waking you and Hubby up?
Her sleep issues need to get isolated from you so they aren't becoming your own sleep issues.

Awww I really feel for you all! My daughter woke up in the middle of the night for years....I always had to get in bed with her to get her back to sleep. I'm sure that was NOT the right thing to do. But I did what I had to to keep house quiet and get back to sleep. Sounds like you have done all the right things to try and help your daughter. I agree with the responses about the melatonin and "unplugging" 60 min before bedtime. Also for her to have a middle of night wake plan. Maybe a soothing light or sound machine and a book. This too shall pass. Best of luck!

It's great that you did the sleep study and that you've ruled out apnea or serious neurological issues. It's also good that you are seeing a psychiatrist.

A friend's child had pretty significant Restless Leg Syndrome and was pretty miserable. She solved it with nutritional supplementation. It took about 6 weeks but it never came back, and this had been a problem for years. That may be a factor in your child's situation, though maybe not the only one.

Have you considered children's yoga? A lot of people are using it, and it's in some schools, to help kids deal with frustration, tension and stress. Sounds to me like she can't relax. Usually we think of babies waking in the natural sleep cycle and not being able to self soothe, but sometimes that happens with older kids. But your child's situation is more than that, because she can't get to sleep to begin with. It certainly wouldn't hurt, even in conjunction with the therapy she is getting.

However, if she's upset at night but isn't "coherent," are you saying she's not fully awake but still is upset? I wonder if it's more than stress, which I wouldn't think would bother her when she's asleep.

I'd work with the psychiatrist to see what else you parents can do to keep things calm - it's got to be so frustrating to be awakened every night, and the sleep deprivation is certainly taking a toll on both of you. I would suggest that at least one of you sleep in her bed or in the guest room so that you aren't all 3 running around with fried brains from lack of sleep. It's not a long term solution but you have to do something.

One of my girls did this, about 9 or 10 years old. It was just too much on her mind. She would wake several times at night. She also started having behavioral issues increasing in school and fits with her brother and sister. We started watching what she was eating, tried cutting things out, moving things around (more protein, less protein etc at certain times of the day). We started having her take naps after finishing some of her homework. Then she would finish the rest when she woke and ate dinner. It did resolve itself but I think it was about a year or so later. She does occasionally have trouble sleeping but it is usually when she has so much going on. I do want to ask if you daughter tends to be what I call a personal perfectionist. When she needs to be sure she took care of her personal day perfectly as my daughter can be.

Have you tried melatonin yet? Our son has ADHD and can't calm himself down enough to get to sleep on his own. Kids with ADHD are often given melatonin as a sleep aid, because it's natural and safe in kids. It would be worth asking her doctors about it, if you haven't tried it already. The 3 mg. tablet is pretty standard and available at pretty much any store that sells medication and vitamins.