8 Month Old Who Suddenly Is Refusing to Nurse

Updated on September 01, 2008
M.G. asks from Shelton, CT
16 answers

Has anyone had a problem with their child refusing to nurse? My daughter has nursed with good success since she was born. When she was 4 months old she started the bottle and formula during the day when I am at work. Suddenly last night she started refusing the nurse. I feel horrible because I feel like I caused it because she bit me when she was nursing and I quickly took her off and said "no biting" in a stern voice. Since then she has refused nursing but will take the bottle with no hesitation. My goal was to nurse her until she was one year old. But at this point I am worried that I will have to give up nursing all together. Please help if you can. Thank You!

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So What Happened?

Hello Moms! Well I took your great advise and didn't give up on nursing. My daughter is now back to nursing without any hesitation. I just kept offering her to nurse and eventually after 2 days she decided she would. I still have no idea why she went on a nursing strike, although I mostly think it was due to my negative reaction when she bit me. But she is over it now and doing good. I did supplement with bottles when she completely refused nursing just to make sure she was taking some nutrients. I pumped at the same time to keep up my milk supply. It feels so great to be back to nursing and I can't thank all of you enough for your support and advise! I appreciate each one of you taking the time to write. Best, M.

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E.G.

answers from New York on

Sorry to tell you but she is probably done with you. My friend has twins. She did the same exact thing to one when she got bitten and he never went back on.

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D.

answers from New York on

I was in the same boat as you. When my son turned 9 mos old he got teeth (and wouldn't stop using them on me) and he started crawling. So he had more important things to do then nurse. I felt that I was not going to force him and we stopped. I wanted to go till he was one but didn't. I don't regret it, I did then though. Because all in all it was his choice. He lost interest. And that's o.k. I think you will be doing her a disservice by forcing her. If you want you could pump and supplement that way. You did great by going 8 mos and working full-time (I work also and know how hard that is). That is more then a lot of women (not that I am saying you are better then others, to nurse or not is a very personal choice for all of us) But if she is telling you that she wants to stop then it's o.k. They call this child lead weening. You did great momma, now is time to give "the girls" a break.

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M.F.

answers from New York on

Hi M.,
Just keep offering her yor breast often and try and stay relaxed. Try nursing in a dark quiet room with relaxing music. Sometimes it is easier to get them to nurse when they are really drowsy because they will do it instictively. Your daughter is probably feeling your anxiety right now which doesn't make it easier. My daughter has had 2 nursing strikes to date and she was only breast feed and would refuse a bottle so she did not take in any milk for 48 hours both times. The first strike was at 8 months and the second was at 10 months and both were due to teething. I offered her more solid foods and water and breast milk in a sippy cup to compinsate although she would not drink the milk. After 2 days she suddenly started again, now she is 15 months and still nursing!
Its scary and stressful when they go on a a nursing srtike but stick with it, its worth it!

Good Luck!

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M.W.

answers from Albany on

As a long time ago LaLeche leader I can tell you that some babies just stop nursing. Who is offering her the bottle? Try not to, and just keep offering you. How long has she refused;hours, or days? Keep in mind that when a baby is hungry they will eat. Cut back on her solids and offer her you, maybe before you offer the solids would be better. Staggering nursings and solids might be another way:1 small meal,followed by a nursing 1-2 hours later. Contact your local LaLeche League for more ideas. I can no longer speak officially for LaLeche League, but only as a 5 time mom.

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A.M.

answers from New York on

i have no experience but would say to just keep trying. i wouldnt offer the bottle right away, just keep offering the breast, and if she still refuses, i would wake up a little early in the morning and try to get her on in her sleep, or during a nap, and at night. feeding when not fully waking usually goes very easy. please update this as i did the no biting thing as well but now i am concerned about the outcome. good luck

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C.P.

answers from Rochester on

Don't give up. Kids can sometimes go through a "nursing strike". Just keep trying to nurse her. Try making the environment comfortable & relaxing for both of you. You may also want to check the La Leche League website for help. good luck

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M.D.

answers from New York on

Don't be so h*** o* yourself. It's perfectly normal for a baby to refuse breastfeeding even without a biting incident. My sister breastfed her son up to 14 months old, but my sister's daughter started to refuse breastfeading at 4 months old. Each child is different, but I wouldn't give up. My sister continued to try to breastfeed first and her daughter once again breasfeeds in the mornings and sometimes at night. Good Luck and don't be discouraged!

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E.M.

answers from Albany on

I'm sorry but doctors go to school for a long time for a reason. Do no feed you child solids until them reccomend it. It will make your child at risk for being over weight and develop allergies.Mother nature knows what she is doing and you just need to hang in there (one of my children slept great at night and screamed all day and my other child was great during the day but wouldn't sleep more than an hour at a time at night) I;ll be honest and tell you that with my second child, it took a very long time for him to finally sleep. At this point, and every point in parenting, you have to look at the long term well being of your child. not the quick fix. Usually if it is the easier choice for right now it is not the right choice. Hang in there and I promise thatit will improve!

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F.C.

answers from Albany on

When my son was 9 months old he got an ear infection and stpped nursing all together one morning. I was nursing him 5 times a day and all of a sudden nothing! It was really hard to stop, physically anyways, i tried pumping and putting in a sippy cup for him, but that got old fast, i know it is a hard thing to do, but she sounds like she has a personality already so go with it!

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C.D.

answers from New York on

M.,

I don't necessarily have any advice, but just wanted to share that I went through the SAME exact thing with my son, except it occurred when he was 7 months old. He bit me and I shrieked a little (it really hurt!) and then I said, "No biting" in a stern voice (that's what I've heard to do) and he started to cry and that time he did finish nursing after I consoled him a little bit, then the next time he did it again and I again said, "No biting" in a stern voice and he cried and then wouldn't nurse but took a bottle and the following time, as I put him to the breast, without saying or doing anything, he just started to cry and would not nurse. And that was the end of that. I was sad, but sort of took it as our time to end nursing. You could always keep trying and pump and maybe she will go back to it. Good luck!

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J.P.

answers from Syracuse on

I would stick it out and keep trying. Babies go through periods called nursing strikes. They will refuse for a while but then go back to nursing again. It can sometimes last a week or more. I would keep with your same routine and try to nurse her at the times you normally would. I wouldn't give her a bottle at those times. Don't even offer it. You could try a sippy cup with formula or breast milk instead so it isn't as easy or pleasant for her. You can also contact your local lactation consultant for more advice on how to get your daughter through this "strike" and back to breastfeeding. Good luck!!

PS all four of my kids went on strike at one point or another but I stuck it out and they successfully breastfed until 16 months of age. My daughter now is 16 months and still going strong. I should note I never gave them a bottle until 12 months and they still had periods where they refused to nurse between the ages of 6 months to 10 months. I highly doubt this was caused because you give her a bottle during the day. Don't be so h*** o* yourself and try not to stress out about it. She will go back to nursing.

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Y.C.

answers from New York on

I just recently had this problem up until a few days ago. My son is just over 3 months and one day refused to nurse. I was afraid it was because we were trying to get him to get used to the bottle since I will be returning to work soon. He was very fussy about taking the breast for a few days only taking from the right side. Then a few days later he completely refused the breast at all, screaming and crying when I would even put him in the nursing position. I was concerned so I brought him in to the doctor who told me she suspected he was teeting. Signs-Drooling a lot, putting his hands/fists into his mouth. He used to bite me too and I probably yelled at him for that. So I think everything put together, he just went on this "nursing strike". You can find articles on the internet about it and what to try to get them to nurse again. Everyday, i would try gently to get him to take the breast and do skin to skin time with him and everyday he refused. I had given up, thought I would have to pump and feed until the end of the year, which is when I'd like to wean him off. Then 6 days later, while my mom was cradling him, I noticed him turning to her as if he was looking for the breast. So I gently took him and tried to nurse and he took! I was so relieved! I tried to be as gentle and relaxed as possible as not to upset him. Today is day 3 since the "strike" has been called off. =) His nursing period has shortened somewhat but he was always a quick nurser, so i'm just glad he came back to me. So keep at it! It could be teething, it could be any number of things, but hopefully she'll be back to nursing soon unexpectedly like my son. Hope this helps. I don't normally respond to requests here but I JUST went through this and I didn't know anyone who had so I thought I'd write to let you know what I had experienced. GOod luck!

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M.B.

answers from Rochester on

Hey M.,

Write all this down, you'll want to read it when she's older. :)

Keep trying to nurse - calm place, calm situation, calm voice, soothing music, whatever she's used to. La Leche League might have some answers for this - call them! Whatever you do, keep trying.

Good Luck,
M.

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C.B.

answers from New York on

I'm glad you kept trying. This is a great thing to hear, in case other Mom's go through it. Could be your hormones? Could be teething, seperation anxiety, discovery that she's her own person and not part of you, growing pains, developmental. I doubt it's because you said no biting. Don't feel horrible. feel triumphant that you got through it and you're still nursing! Hooray!

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A.D.

answers from New York on

Hi M., Is it possible your baby is holding a grudge because you said no??? I hope not. Have you offered the breast? Maybe her plan is not the same as yours. Sad because it is really good to nurse as long as possible. I nursed one of my sons for 9 months. Do your best but if you must give it up I guess it is time. Grandma Mary

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