33 Week Old Infant Weaning Herself from Breast

In a gentler way, I agree with the response below. If you want to keep breastfeeding, you need to cut out the formula and focus on breastfeeding. Set aside some quiet time when you and your daughter can just be together and try to talk to her and coax her back on the breast. You can also try nursing her when she is almost asleep to see if she'll latch on without thinking about it.

"The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding" is a great resource. Also, if you want support from other breastfeeding women you might want to try attending a La Leche League meeting. The North Central group meets on the first Tuesday evening of every month at 7pm in the community room at Central Market on Broadway. We are a non-judgmental group of women who will do our best to support you in breastfeeding.

I understand your embarrassment about nursing in public, but I agree with the response below that it's important not to let it get to you. Your baby needs you no matter where you are and you are setting a great example for other women by nursing in public. When my son was a newborn I went in the bathroom at a restaurant to nurse and some teenage girls came in and said, "eww, gross" about seeing me trying to latch him on. I was mortified and moved into the handicapped stall to nurse him, but later when I thought about it I realized that they were wrong. It's not gross, and it's good for teenage girls to be reminded what their breasts are actually for! Since then I nurse discreetly wherever I happen to be.

I hope things work out for you. Good luck!

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Kelly has such great advice for nursing, I just wanted to second what she had to say. I think she misread your baby's age, though, because at 33 weeks your baby is almost 8 months old and may truly need some, but not much, solid food. However, no don't give up!! Her main food should still be mama's milk. If I were you, I would work hard to get her off the formula entirely, but gradually as Kelly said in order to build up your milk supply again. If your first response to her every hunger (especially often in the morning and early afternoon, since that is when she is most receptive) is to offer her the breast, and you restrict solids to only once each evening, I don't think it should take more than a week - what do you think Kelly? As for pumping, try pumping right after she nurses in order to completely empty the breasts.

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Keep pumping and feed her the pumped milk. When they start solid food their eating patterns are a little different. You can do it.

I am a mother of four. First child had to have one bottle of formula a day. Second was twins the stopped breast feeding at 8 months. Fourth child is soley breastmilk. He is six months now.

You can do it............breastmilk is sooo good for baby

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Yes, I did really horrible math and came up with a really young baby! Thanks for the tip! :-) I've edited my original advice to be a bit more pertinent - Thanks Janet!
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B.,
Congratulations on wanting to bf your baby for at least a year! You are wanting to give your baby a wonderful healthy start on life!
The more your baby is at the breast the more milk you will make. The weaning process is not completely irreversible, but was started when a formula bottle was introduced. The first thing I would look at is the bottle nipple. It needs to be a 'slow flow' nipple. If she has to 'work for it' to get milk from you, but just sit there with the bottle in her mouth receiving the drips - she will come to prefer the bottle. Easy solution: change the nipple on the bottle.

Also, decrease the amount of formula over time - a couple of weeks should do it, I think - and your breasts will naturally compensate. You could even mix the formula with your expressed milk to help aid the transition.

As for introducing solids, she will let you know when she's ready. At around 5mos mine started grabbing at my spoons, cups, etc. So I put them in a highchair with a plastic bowl, spoon or cup. This kept them more than happy and entertained for a while. My first child did not show unwavering interest in food until 8.5mos, and my second at 7.5mos. They would not be distracted. This is how I knew that they were ready for food, not just the utensils. The best book that I found was Super Baby Foods. I still use some of the recipes in the back since they seem to be healthier versions of what's in my regular cookbooks :-) I have friends who intro'd solids at 6mos and others who solely breastfed til after 1yr! Do it at your pace and go with your gut.

If this is the first that she's been fussy at the breast then it seems unlikely to me that it's something in your diet. But that would be the next thing I'd look at if it were me. My daughter had upset tummy whenever I overindulged in dairy...now I know she has an intolerance to it. Just a thought.

If you're pumping, you may or may not be getting very much. If you only get 1oz, not to worry! Many women's bodies refuse to let down for a pump and require that kind of suction/stimulation that only the baby's mouth can give. I was one of those women :-) With #1 I could only pump *maybe* 1 oz per 20min pumping session. But I knew by looking at her that she was able to get enough - 20lbs at 4mos, 25lbs at 8mos and solely breastfed until 8.5mos! If you're not getting very much at the pump, feel free to email me and I will tell you what ended up working for me - it's kinda long to post here :-)

I don't know that you *need* to increase your supply right now. Just latching her on more will take care of that. If you really are having supply issues, then much can be done in addition to Fenugreek.

Also, LLL is a fantastic resource. If you'd like help before the next meeting, leaders do phone consults (free!) Below is the link for your area
http://www.lllhouston.org/

If you'd like clarification or have questions about something I wrote, please don't hesitate to email me and ask!
HTH

K. H, mama to
Catherine, 4yrs (nursed 2.5yrs)
Samuel, 13mos (and still going strong!)

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Hi. I went through a similar situation with my son. Although, he started getting bottles of my pumped breast milk at 3 months because I had to return to work. When he was about 7 or 8 months old he started getting really fussy at the breast and refusing to nurse at times. It was emotionally draining b/c I also, wanted to make it that first year. I would try and try and eventually give in and give him a bottle of breast milk. He was a very active little man who was crawling at 5 months and taking his first steps at 8 months. Needless to say, I had a hard time keeping him still long enough to nurse. Anyways, I went back and forth over whether or not to stop for about a month. But it was ultimately my son's decision to wean and I had to deal with it. Things were so much better once I stopped trying to force him. So my advice would be to first make sure there isn't a medical reason (reflux) or something as to why she isn't wanting to nurse. Or she could just be teething. Be patient and if things get too stressful and she is just weaning himself, feel good about making it this far. You can always just pump exclusively. Good luck!

A little about me: Mom to a wonderful 18 month old boy. Married for 5 years to my best friend and trying to conceive number 2.

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My son was premature and in the first week, lost over 13% of his birth weight even though I was exclusively breastfeeding so we had to supplement with formula in a bottle. Two days later, I was able to produce enough milk but the baby had refused the breast for the bottle because *suck* *suck* *slurp* was much harder than *suck* *slurp*. It was emotionally very hurtful to me and after doing a lot of research, I realized that the only way to get the child back to exclusively breastfeed was to totally ban the bottle. Once his weight was stable, I just gave him the breast and due to hunger, he went back to the breast. This took two grueling days to break him from the bottle. The weird thing was that once I was exclusively breastfeeding again, I felt very tied down because I felt exhausted at night and I could not leave him for over two hours and my husband who was very involved in the childrearing, felt left out of the whole equation. Now, I am pumping and bottle feeding it most of the time and breastfeeding about 2-3 times a day whenever I offer him the breast and he takes it. The best advice I got was from my LS who said to stop stressing myself and the baby out during breastfeeding because that time should be a peaceful and bonding time. After I let go of the La Leche mind frame of "exclusively breastfeeding", I found a way that was best for our situation and started enjoying motherhood again.

P.S. The SNS thing was very hard for us. Also, the tiny tubes are very hard to clean. This might work for someone very dedicated to it but it is not very practical.

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I agree 100% with both Kelly and Janet. I wanted to add that at this age, a baby doesn't self-wean. She is obviously prefering the bottle because it's easier to get the milk out of. It might be a couple of hard weeks, but I would suggest not offering the bottle anymore. If she knows that if she cries enough, she'll get the bottle, she will go on "strike". I would also look on the http://www.kellymom.com/bf/ website. She has WONDERFUL info on breastfeeding. And maybe touch base with your local La Leche League. They are a fountain of information too.
Keep up the great work! My sone is almost 15 months and we're in the process of weaning and it's been a wonderful experience. I'm so glad that I did it and would do it again in a heartbeat. Hopefully I'll be able to!

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Please don't give up. Babies see how easy it is to get their food from a bottle, whereas they have to work a little harder from the breast for the let down. The times she cries at the breast is probably "sleepy time" and she just wants to eat and go to sleep. I have brestfed all 5 of my kids (still BFing my 7-month-old) and went through this every time. I didn't give up, though. I feel that because I kept trying, they didn't give up on me either. I brestfed for at least 20 months and, at most, 4 years. It truly feels unbelievable when you both get past this and get back to normal.

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Babies RARELY wean themselves before a year old. In fact, humans are designed to nurse for 2-4 years! Her issue may be with the bottle or there may be something else like an ear infection that bothers her when she latches on. Since you stay at home and don't have to give her a bottle, I'd take the bottle away for a while. Babies WILL NOT starve themselves so she'll eat when she's hungry. I'm sure you can call a lactation consultant. Peditricians are in favor of breastfeeding but, unfortunately, don't usually get much education about BFing in med school because they have sooo much else to study. Another place you may want to look for answers is www.cafemom.com You can join groups that suit your interests and ask questions on there. There are a few breastfeeding moms groups and there are lacation consultants that will answer questions, as well as tons of other experienced moms.
Don't give up - you're doing great!!!

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Hey B., I have two IVF babies... Boys, the first at 8 months was done with breastfeeding. The second is 2 years and 8 months, he still says "Mommy, Can I have Chi-Chi" (what he call nursing). I was so upset that the first one did not want to go longer but I am worried now that the second does not want to stop. My mom who breastfeed my brothers for many years told me that the whole point is the time you spend with your baby that really counts. So even if she wants a bottle, hold her close to you with lots of love and kiss for her. The most important thing is she knows you love and want her...

BY THE WAY: My husband and I have been married for 17 years and we waited so long to have kids I thought we never would. Now my 4 and 2 year old are the most spoiled kids I know but what can I say, they are the best things that ever happened to us. AND (if we had more money) we would have 10 more, so I am a teacher instead- LOL

I'll be thinking of you and your baby. I wouldn't give up! keep trying and keep spending time with her.

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It is many, many times easier to get milk from a bottle rather than from a breast, and a whole different suckling mechanism involved. This is why the musculature of the face doesn't develope the same way in bottle fed babies as in breast fed. And too, why your little one is showing a bottle preference now after having experienced a bottle. It is my understanding that because of this difficulty in switching back and forth that it is almost impossible to successfully breast and bottle feed at the same time.

This can be resolved with a little more knowledge on your part. You specifically need to know the following: around 5 pm the composition of breast milk changes as your energy retreats deeper into your body as part of normal bio-rhythms, according to the bio-clock in Asian medicine. As a result, the fat content of your milk is reduced then, and so the milk is less satisfying for your baby.

However, this does not mean that you should give up nursing then and just give in to demands for faster food. The law of supply and demand prevails and this same afternoon/early evening time for breastfeeding can really increase your milk supply if you persist with breast feeding then.

I also highly recommend limiting solid foods for babies, for many reasons. And most importantly, optimizing your own diet in every way that you know how to do. Fenugreek alone (or any herb for that matter) is not a 'magic bullet' and there is no substitute for eating your vegetables - and especially as a role model for your children to upgrade their own food preferences as they grow. Perhaps getting some professional nutritional counselling as a long term investment in your and your family's health would also be a good idea.

You are doing the right thing in breastfeeding, though it isn't the easy thing right now. Both of my lovely daughters aged 27 and 15 were breastfed for a couple years, and it was among the best and most rewarding experiences we could have.

All the best to you in this, and hang in there as long as you can...the end results are so worth it!

J. Lee OMD
www.artofmedicine.org

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Congrats on your bundle of joy & the decision to breastfeed! My thoughts...while nursing brings a bond like no other, different situations can initiate change. I nursed for 13 months, but the last 4-5 months was thru the bottle because my son was busy w/ other things other than wanting to be at the breast but he would definitely have complete attention for the bottle!!! I happily pumped the rest of the time & altho saddened by the end of the bonding time of nursing, my baby was still able to get breastmilk for 13 months. I am a working mom, so this was still a sacrifice as I pumped at work (even drug my pumping equipment w/ me to JURY DUTY after being assured there were facilities for me-in the end when it came time to pump, I was dismissed after being called on a panel while waiting to be interviewed by the judge) but I wanted it for my son even tho he wouldn't nurse directly! Do what you feel you can handle & leave the rest up to God. Good luck & I hope things work out for you!!

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B.,

I had a similar problem with my daughter. She had to be put in the hospital and they gave her a bottle while I was gone. When she returned home she really did not want the breast anymore. It is a little more work but since you mentioned you have a pump, you can continue to pump and give her your milk in the bottle. (It is better than the formula at least, in my opinion.)

I did this from about 3 months until she was about a year old. Like I said it takes a little more dedication but for me it was worth it for my baby girl.

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My daughter started to fuss more around this time as well and we were doing a mixture of bottles (when at daycare) and breastfeeding. I kept trying to breastfeed when I was with her. Sometimes they go through "nursing strikes" or they may not need as much anymore (how many times a day is she nursing?) Maybe try not giving her a bottle and then wait a while before feeding her again--if she's really hungry she'll probably breastfeed. The other thing is teething can really make nursing uncomfortable for babies as well. just keep trying and see if she will keep breastfeeding.

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if i were you I would just keep trying. she might not like the taste of the Fenugreek or something new you have added to your diet. you should be congratulated for breastfeeding as long as you have. if your daughter still resists just pump your milk and give it to her in a bottle. at least she would still be getting the benefits of your milk. just make sure you pump four times a day at least so you can keep up your supply. If you need a good lactation consultant call ###-###-####. she is very sweet and helpful and will even give you advice over the phone. she also sells pumps so she could let you know if the pump you have is doing a good enough job getting your max of milk! good luck

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B.,
I am a mom of three and this happened with my last baby. I also went on vacation when she was 9 months old and had to supplement. When we got home she wanted the bottle. I started losing my milk supply so I also took Fenugreek and some prescription to try to increase my milk supply. I was pumping every chance I got. Finally I was desperate and went crying to my pediatrician. She said I had two choices: Either pump and put it into a bottle or just let it go. The most important thing is that the baby is getting her 24oz of milk a day. I loved nursing and hated that she wanted the bottle but she is now a very happy and healthy two year old.
Hope this helps!
S.

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Yup and at a younger age.
What I did was not offer him anything but me in the mornings. He accepted that easily. But by evening after having a sub bottle if we were out, he was not happy to nurse. In fact after about 3 nights of that I just went into his bedroom and lay on the bed and stuck to it till he finally gave in and nursed. It was like, take this or just go to bed and he definetly wanted a bedtime snack. LOL

But after doing that a few times I gave up and just let him have the bottles and decided we had been able to nurse that long and be thankful for the time we had, rather than try to put us in a box that says we have to do certain things in a certain way. Just because one kid nurses till he is 1 does not mean the next one will.

btw when mine reached about 9 months they went through this thing of just eating less and less weight gain, but it only lasted a couple of weeks. So yours may be reaching that stage too.

And I think it would certainly be worth trying to put the breastmilk in a bottle to see if yours will drink that.

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Hi B.,
A lot of babies find that getting milk from the bottle is easier than getting it from the breast. Some mothers just take the bottle away completely until their babies get back in the habit of breastfeeding. (Babies may fuss at the breast at first but then make the adjustment). Some mothers use a breast pump to obtain their milk and give it to their babies in a bottle. (Many mothers who work full time do this.) Other mothers just use formula.
The most important thing is that you are comfortable with your decision.

From my own experience, I developed a blood infection when my firstborn was 3 days old and because of the antibiotics was unable to breastfeed. However, my doctor ordered a breastpump during that time so that I would have milk afterwards. I had a grueling day getting him to take the breast after he had been used to a bottle. He cried and pulled away constantly. The LaLeche League in my city told me that one method that worked was to just keep offering the breast until he would take it. It is frustrating to see your baby pull away and cry but once they take it, its a go from then on. Once they nurse regularly your milk supply increases quickly. I'm sure you can get wonderful advice from the LaLeche League in your area.

As a mother of a now handsome, strong, wonderful, loving 22 year old son I can tell you that you and your daughter are going to do just fine as long as you feel good about yourself and your wonderful family.

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You've had alot of good advice on what to try. I can't add anything new on that, because what I was going to tell you has already been said. I do want to tell you to try your very best, which of course you will. If what you try doesn't work, find comfort in the fact that you have breastfed longer than the average mother, and your baby has and will continue to benefit greatly from it. Your daughter will benefit into her teens from the breastfeeding she has already had. My oldest son did the exact same things your daughter is doing when he was 7 months. I was able to pump exclusively for another month for each feeding, and then decided to stop. It was a very difficult decision because I felt very selfish. I hated the amount of time it took, first to pump, and then to give him the bottle. Doing that is more difficult than breastfeeding!! Then his doctor told me to be proud of feeding him breastmilk for so long, and how many years he would reap the benefits of my doing so. One piece of advice I will give you is to be sure to pump and freeze at least a week's worth of breastmilk. If your baby gets a stomach virus and cannot keep anything down, the breastmilk will come in very handy. They can usually keep breastmilk down with a stomach virus, plus you'll be reassured that she's not getting dehydrated and she is getting immunity-boosting properties from the milk.

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Hi B.. First off, congratulations on breastfeeding to 33 weeks! It is hard to tell from your description, but if you are having supply issues (introduction of bottles, complementary foods, fussyness in afternoon and evening) those can often be addressed. I would definately say not to give up without at least working with a breastfeeding counselor or lactation consultant. There are lots of things that you can do to increase supply, including taking complementary herbs (we really like the Motherlove formula we carry at Merry-Go-Round), power pumping to simulate a "growth spurt," increasing your skin-to-skin contact while nusing, and babywearing.

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Hi B.,

Every baby is going to be a little bit different. I've noticed this with my 4. I tried to nurse all of them for a year. 1 made it 13 months but my son only made it 11months. They all weaned themselves. When it became a battle to nurse them I knew it was time to give up the fight.

I just weaned my 1 yr old, she turned 1 on Jan 25, a few days ago. Yes, I still have milk and am tempted every night to try to nurse her. Its really hard to let go knowing she's my 4th and last baby. All this being said, I'll tell you that I was MUCH more relaxed with my 4th child. I listened to my pediatrician and I didn't worry about the things that used to gnaw at me with the first three. At about 7 months she was only nursing 3 times a day. I'm embarassed to admit it but with 4 kids at home for the summer I just didn't have the time to sit down and nurse her. She drank water and water/juice from a sippy cup because I refused to give her formula in a bottle. (I can't figure out the reason for my stubbornness but that's what I did.) With fewer feedings, she nursed longer. I assume she got what she needed. Her Dr. assured me that she was getting most of her nutrition from her solid foods, as it should be. (I think this is so by at least 8 months.) She had enough fluid as she had lots of wet diapers. At 11 mo she switched to cow's milk and drank that all day while I almost forced her to nurse before bed each night. (She was down to maybe 3 min per breast if I could keep her still long enough.)

My advice is this, make sure she gets 3 meals a day. Introduce her to a sippy cup and nurse her first thing in the morning, early afternoon and before bedtime. Just don't make the bottle an option and you may find that she'll want to nurse more often. You're not alone in this. As always, you're the MOM. Only do what you feel is best for you. Good luck!

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Sometimes you just have to let them decide. My daughter weaned herself practically overnight at 10 months old. I cried and cried because I wasn't ready... but then you just move onto the next step and know that you did more breastfeeding the most people!

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Don't give up! I have heard that if you just stop the solids for a few days they will give in and start nursing again. Then you can start them right back on solids.

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Contrary to the opinions below, babies DO wean themselves before 1 year old. I nursed my son until he was just over 9 months old. I had NEVER given him a bottle, either of formula or breast milk, and he didn't get solids until after he'd nursed, so I wasn't "sabotaging" the breastfeeding. Well, one morning I sat down to give him his first nursing of the day and he refused. Absolutely and totally refused--wouldn't let me get him NEAR my breast! And here I was, having never taught him how to use a bottle! :-)

Fortunately, I had some formula in the house because I couldn't pump milk (I have very large breasts and was never able to pump more than an ounce no matter how long I tried) and I was using it to mix his cereal. And while we didn't have any bottles, I had recently purchased sippy cups since we were planning to start teaching him to use one. So, I mixed up some formula, put it in a sippy cup, handed it to him, and crossed my fingers! Amazingly, he took to it immediately and refused to nurse ever again. Sounds like your daughter has made her own decision, so I say just go with it. You've done great to get it this far, but trying to force breastfeeding when either party doesn't want it is counterproductive. Go with the flow your daughter is setting, and enjoy your beautiful baby girl!

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Hi B.! I went through almost the same thing. When we started solid foods she filled up on those and had less appetite for milk so my supply started dwindling. Then we went on a trip and things went downhill so much that when we got back I just decided it was time to stop nursing and save my sanity. You're not doing your child an injustice by going to the bottle. In fact, you've done a great thing by nursing this long. I've learned, though, to just take things as they come and not make concrete plans or timelines...it just works better to go with the flow. Once I stopped making myself crazy over trying to pump more milk, trying to satisfy her through nursing, etc. we were all much happier. I put her on formula and she loved it, she grew, and it was only for a few months anyway. Best wishes...don't beat yourself up about it!

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Just some thoughts. Drink lots of water. I know with my first one, once he had a bottle he didn't want to nurse. Bottles are easier, nursing is more work. Also if you exclusively breast feed most doctors tell you can go straight to milk at nine months and in a sippy cup. I wouldn't do the bottle thing, I'd go for the sippy cup.
It's an emotional thing for the mom hang in there and be sure you are keeping up your milk supply. Sometimes though it just isn't worth it. Your littleone might just be expressing who she is.
Yes, pumping and giving in a bottle is good, but I couldn't pump worth 2 cents. My first son is more independent and that too was more his personality, my second son nursed a lot longer, his personality is more snuggly.
Good luck. Just know you have given her the best with nursing and now she is most likely ready to move on.

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you've gotten some good advice here! Kelly and Janet R and Suzanne and others really know what they're talking about.

I reiterate www.kellymom.com. It is a wonderful, research-based resource.

Babies do not generally self wean at this age. It might be a nursing strike, it is probably the fact that the bottle is easier.

Even at this age, nurse before offering solids. They shouldn't be her main form of nutrition. Nursing should.

Offer, offer, offer the breast, cut down (or cut out!) the bottle.

Try eating oatmeal, too, and make sure you're drinking all your water. I don't know what it is about oatmeal, but it really can help increase supply. you obviously know about supply and demand, which is making you pump in between sessions.

All that said, you've done a great job, mama, and if you choose to stop now, you've done wonderfully! but it doesn't have to be over. You've received some good advice (from Kelly, Suzanne, and Janet R. especially. GL! :)

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