7-Month Old Sleep Habits and 19-Month Old Sep Anxiety

Hi...

HAve you tried putting you litte one to sleep later? Each child has a different need for sleep and sleep "clock" I beleive..Maybe 7:30 is too early? He is at that age where you dont want waking up and you rocking him back to sleep is the habit..That's a hard one to break! And I now that my 2 kids sleep differently. My son, at now 8 years old, loves to sleep in my room, or in my bed occasaionally, but my daughter loves her own room and lights out and always has. Maybe he would benefit from being in his own room? Maybe your sounds and movements are waking him up?

re: your 19 month old, peak in an see how he does when you are acutally gone. My little guy would cry and once I was out of sight he stopped. He knew I would come back if I thought he was upset..Yes, even at the young age. It wasnt until I could peak in on him 5 minutes later and saw him being fine, that I realized what was going on. I beleive, if you don't start little ones off young knowing mommy is leaving and letting them feel safe that you WILL come back, they do get very leery of when you leave. I think it's more traumatic to have him not be ok with you leaving and become insecure when you do, then any trauma beacause you do leave. You need time for you and he will be ok!

Good luck...

Separation anxiety is completely normal and expected for a 19mo. Every child is different, so every child has it to a different degree (my son was clingy, my daughter adventurous), and every child outgrows it at a different age (my son was just over 2, and my daughter went in and out of spurts until around 20mo). The best suggestion I have is to spend some time in the gym child care with him, play with toys, and get him familiar with the environment before leaving him in there. This could take a few days to a couple weeks, but it could be well worth the effort in the end :)

As for the sleep "issues," your 7mo isn't the one with the sleep issue. It's society's unrealistic expectations of when a child should STTN or how many times they're "supposed" to wake during the night at any given age that set us up for unexpected and frustrating variations to what it unrealistically set as the norm. It's perfectly developmentally normal for your 7mo to be waking 2-3 times each night, and honestly, sleep training is pointless during this huge developmental leap. Even if the "training" works, sleep patterns and habits change so frequently that you'll feel like all you're doing is "training" your little one to sleep. The period from 4mo until just over a year is a period of HUGE change! Rolling over to sitting up to pulling to stand to crawling to cruising to walking.... It all happens so fast and can be a little scary to someone so little.

It's also perfectly developmentally normal for a 7mo to need a little reassurance and assistance to fall back to sleep. Try to think about the myriad of reasons he could be waking: hot/cold, bad dream, lonely, scared, wet diaper, hungry, upset belly (from solids possibly), just needs to be close to mom, etc etc. Also, try to consider why we wake as adults and give the same consideration. I personally had a very vivid not-so-good dream a couple of weeks ago that stuck with me from the time it woke me at 2:45 until my alarm went off at 7:15. If that can happen to me, it can certainly happen to a baby who has no experience.

It's very possible that he's hungry each times he wakens. However, you're probably correct in assuming he's not hungry every 2 hours during the night :) If he does ok with the water, maybe snuggle him with his water bottle for a few minutes, then slowly move away from him. With separation anxiety beginning around this age, I don't think it would be a good idea to move him further from you, especially since you'll then have to get out of bed, walk to a different room to settle him, and walk back to your bed.

Teething could definitely be a culprit; you could try using a small dose of infant ibuprofen (fever reducer as well as swelling) the first time he wakes.

His sleep will change many times over the next few years, and he may not STTN for a long time yet. My son didn't sleep more than 2-3 hours at a time until he was almost 2, and I thought I would die from sleep deprivation. After age 3, he slept better, but both my kids (almost 7 and almost 4) still wake in the middle of the night to crawl into bed with us. (my husband and I sleep in separate beds for a variety of reasons hehe) Remember that a lot of nighttime parenting has to do with our own expectations, experiences and attitudes :)

Just wanted to tell you that you are not alone...and its good to know that I am not alone either! : - ) I have a 7 month old as well and your post sounded like I could have posted it. Mine also wakes at 1:30, 3:30 and 5:30 (occasionally misses the 1:30) She also goes to bed at 7:30 ish and co-sleeps next to my bed.

I am exhausted and frustrated that she has poor sleep habits, but think to myself that there is a reason she is doing this. I am just trying to sooth her without feeding (breastfeed) but it is soo tough when I know that if I just feed her for 5 min she will go RIGHT back to sleep and so will I! Its very frustrating I know...but we will just have to keep chugging along and know that it WILL get better, sooner or later.

I just feel so blessed to have her and I enjoy every moment with her! Good luck!

It is perfectly normal to wake up several times a night at 7mts. I am part of a large mommy group and only one baby slept through the night at that age (and she was always a "good sleeper"). At 7 mts he probably needs food for growth spurts or comfort. Why not just satisfy this need/desire? He will grow out of it soon enough. Take naps with him in the afternoons to catch up on sleep. My midwife went to an international conference in India recently and so many people commented to her that American's seem obsessed with forcing their babies to sleep. That's understandable for a single, working mother-- but the rest of us might benefit from just relaxing a bit on the topic. Of course, my opinion results from not being able to get my baby to sleep through the night either and deciding, finally, that comfort and cuddles in the night are better than screaming and tears.

Hi Lorie,

I only have one son but at 7 months he would still wake up a few times a night like your little one. We really struggled with helping him stay asleep. If you have the space it might be time to move him out of your room. If he knows you are right next to him he is using you as a way to soothe which when tiny and new is fine but now could become a sleep crutch. Also I would get the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It is a level headed approach to helping your baby self soothe and fall back asleep on their own.

As for the older child, my son went through the same issues with not wanting to be away from me. I decided it was better to leave him at home with my husband or a sitter when I went to the gym. Then at least he was in his own home without the caos of lots of noise and kids and strangers looking after him. I know this can be annoying but it is a stage and eventually he will grow out of it but having a newer sibling and having to share you is probably enough for him to deal with at the moment. It might be wise though to bring the baby to the gym with you so he will get used to being there before he is as aware as your older son.

I hope this helps and happy sleeping and working out. :)

N.

There's a book at the library you can check out called "The Baby Whisperer". You don't have to read the whole thing. The main thing I got out of was this: If my baby falls asleep at 7pm, I pick him up from his sleep without waking him and give him a small (2 oz) "dream feed" of formula in his sleep. So his last feeding was at 6:00pm let's say, so his "dream feed" at 10pm can generally tie him over until about 5am (or later) if I am lucky. Every once in ahwile this does not work and he wakes up hungry in the middle of the night. Also, I am sure to do my best to keep him on his schedule of eating every 3 hours throughout the day. Also if you are mainly breast feeding, try supplementing with formula. In my experience I feel they are more apt to get full with formula and I can monitor how much he actually ate. Hope this helps. Good luck!

Hi Lorie,
I wish I had some advice for you. My girls were the same way with sleep (they are 13 months, one day apart). My older daughter was a great sleeper from day 1, my younger (20 months now) still barely sleeps through the night and has never been a good sleeper. I wish you luck in the sleep area.
Now for separation anxiety, I can't give you any advice either because my kids have never been watched by anyone other than family (and that is few and far between). My 20 month old is a M.'s girl and will barely let me out of her sight and my 2 yr 9 mo old is a daddy's girl who seems to be fine with others most of the time but not sure when she outgrew the sep anxiety.
Good luck with all and remember it all goes quickly so enjoy all the busyness!
J.

Hi Lorie,
You must be very tired! My daughter was still waking at least once a night at that age and didn't sleep through the night until 10 1/2 months. Honestly, they could easily still be hungry at 3-4 in the morning. Teething and separation anxiety are also happening at this time.
What used to help me was to read sections from 3-4 books (like the one mentioned and other good ones out there at the library), see what styles suited my girl and my situation best and try to apply a technique or two. A word of advice, though, don't try to start a brand new strict sleep regimen (training) unless you are 100% ready and rested. If you are too exhausted to commit to big changes, you won't have the energy to follow through. So best plan might be to stick it out, do some research for a week while you try to catch up, then try something new.
Hope you are all sleeping better soon.
A.
p.s. My daughter also slept in a co-sleeper with us until she was 11 months old. I loved it and it made the nighttime soothing easier. I didn't believe in cry it out, so being on hand to soothe was important.