6 Year Old Miss Behaving in Class

Updated on December 10, 2007
S.K. asks from Irving, TX
24 answers

hi to all moms
i have a 6 year old in kindergaten , through out this school year his behavior is getting worse everyday , cant stop playing or desrupting his teacher in class even when there is a warning for him to stop he just wouldn't listen and she has to keep on reminding him through out the day , i also have a probleme with him at home his always ready to go before you can ever finish telling him what you want him to do , so he will always come back and ask me what were you saying i am supose to do ??
i've tried everything you can ever think about talking to him in a nice way , time out , took out all his toys , stop him watching his favorite cartoon , spanking you name it nothing is working and when i sit him down and talked to him all he has to say to me is that he is trying very hard but cant get him self to behave , i feel that i have a very smart boy but his using his smartness on the wrong things , even my sister think i should go and get a professional help but i feel that is extreme or in some way i feel like that is a failure to me i dont know how to deal with my own kid , specialy that he has a very normal life never been through some emotional problemes that i can think of in anyway , what am i suppose to do is this normal for his age and if it's how long would it take for this to go away ?? because it's really getting to me that sometimes or i should say most of the times i cry my self to sleep over this i just cant imagine after all the love and care that i give this is how it will be paid off , can anyone help me please i am so desperate for your advices .
thank you in advance

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So What Happened?

hi to all mommys
thank you so much for beeing concerned about i truly do thank you , as for my son i did go to his school and did what all of you told me to , they said the state are changing the (( ADD ))forms so there waiting on the new ones to come in , that makes me the top one on the list since nobody ever asked about theme , at first they didn't even know what i was talking about and then i went and spoke to the counselor weird ha !! and finally she did so she got concerned too , specialy that my son as she stated was one of her favorite boys in that school she calls him the little loving gentelman so she was in shock when i told her what was going on in his class room , she promissed in the mean time that she will keep an eye on him and talk to him too since he thinks of her as the lady who keeps you out of trouble , anyway i hope this will help for now by the time we will get him all the help he needs .
thank you so much one more time to all of you .

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J.C.

answers from Dallas on

I would try holding his hand when giving him instruction. Maybe that will help him focus on what you are saying. Also, try having him repeat back to you what you said. I hope that helps.

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T.S.

answers from Longview on

A few things to think about.

Attention span--I have 2 boys that are borderline ADD (not Hyper as in ADHD). They are really sweet, but they have a hard time focusing on tasks sometimes. My oldest wore holes in all his pants while sitting at the desk in first grade. He would jiggle his leg and rub it against the desk. AT the time I first fussed at him about it, then realized it kept him on task, so I changed gears and told him jiggling legs are fine, but not at that certain spot where it will rub holes in his pants. :-/ LOL

Secondly I put him in soccer. He ran and ran and ran. Then in school he was able to concentrate better. ;-)

The next boy was somewhat diff. He fiddled--with erasers, pencil, pens, etc. So his teacher told him to keep his hands out of his desk and he could do one thing--jiggle a pencil or something. But no fiddling in the desk with everything.

Just try to get the teacher to work with you.

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L.G.

answers from Houston on

Hey S.!! I have a seven year old that is going thru/has gone thru something the same.Spanking doesn't work, time out doesn't work, to take something away or reward him doesn't work? or didn't work?!! I am a divorced mom with two boys. THeir father isn't much of a father. So, that could be part of the problem. But, I have been reading a book the FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES for KIDS. Maybe finding out if their LOVE TANK is empty may help??? If you are anything like me, I will TRY anything!!! because I love him so much!! Good luck!!!

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A.W.

answers from Houston on

If your son eats processed foods from cans, boxes or anything pre-packed I suggest changing his diet. Many children show signs of add/ adhd due to the artifical ingredients/ sweetners, HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP (poison) and the all mighty toxic food coloring. I would suggest Dr. Massie ###-###-####)in Friendswood for food allergy testing and Herman at Tri-Health on Fuqua for supplements. Good luck.

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A.Z.

answers from Houston on

I think it might be a good idea for you to take your son to see a developmental pediatrician for assessment or perhaps for the meantime have your school diagnostian evaluate him.

Some of the things you mention remind me a child who MIGHT be on the spectrum (ASD-Autism Sepctrum Disorder) more likley maybe ADD or ADHD. The things you note about issues with focus and attention and nothing seeming to work are very common with these conditions. I think it might be good just to check it out because if that is the case there are many therapies out there (that don't include drugs which I know is the fear of many parents) that range from changing diet to providing more instruction visually versus auditorially.

I'm not an expert but any means by have a 4yr old son who has Aspergers Syndrome(high functioning autism--2 years above grade level academically but socially delayed) and a 8 yr old step son who had ADD/ADHD (who has an IQ over 130 but struggles in school). Both have been diagnosed within the last year so all I seem to do is read, attend conferences and try to learn as much as I can. Both these disorders are on the spectrum.

If your son was to be diagnosed, your school system will in all probability be REQUIRED to work with you to provide teaching aide/adjustments to help your son learn in the best way for him which usually is more visual for these kids, they are still trying to figure why. IF your child does come back with some Spectrum Disorder diagnois, one thing to know...you are NOT alone. Ten yeras ago, 1 in 10,000 children were diagnosed with Austism or an ASD and now that number is more around 1 in 150...alarming I know.

Either way, I hope the very best for you. You sound like a great Mom and if it's one thing I've learned through all this is to trust your Mom instinct. I just knew something was up with both these kids probably starting a couple of years ago and just couldn't put my finger on it since they are both so bright.

I wish the best to you and your family.

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S.S.

answers from Dallas on

I think you said it.. "he can't help himself."
Sounds like ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder).
Get him assessed by a psychologist, and do not despair. You have described my 7 year old until this year. He was out of control, couldn't stay focused and couldn't help himself. I love him w/all my heart, but he was so frustrating. My instincts were ADHD, & I had him checked out. The psychologist said that he had SEVERE ADHD. We used the summer to get the meds right, & he is on Aderall. WHAT A PROFOUND DIFFERENCE. He's still his lovable self, but he can sit still & focus. He went from almost having to repeat kindergarden to getting 90s in grade two. He had folder (discipline) signs everyday last year, and has not had one this year. If you live near Arlington, I can give you the name of a really good psychologist.

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G.M.

answers from San Antonio on

I am not sure what Kristi is thinking, but you are right to be concerned. I agree with her that you should try new or more challenging activities, but he needs to learn self discipline and order. Taking him to a professional can help you in determining if there's a medical problem or environmental/social one. By seeking a professional opinion/diagnosis you will know for sure what the problem is. You don't want his behavior interfering with his learning or that of his classmates. If his teacher is having to stop teaching to correct his behavior then he and his classmates are losing out on instruction.

I was having a similiar problem, not with behavior but with failing grades in reading with my son who is also six and at a meeting with his Speech therapist we discovered that he is probably failing reading because of a neurological speech disorder called apraxia. My older son made all A in school and I thought I was failing my younger son some way. So we read and read and read at home and he showed little improvement. So then he was punished for not doing well in reading... now we know that he can't help it. I still work really hard with him at reading, and he has no idea that he has a "condition" so he still works really hard. We just don't focus on his bad grades.

Get a professional opinion. They do check list and so forth to see how many symptom he might have ... then they make a diagnosis. You have nothing to lose. Good luck!

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K.G.

answers from Houston on

He's six, I think it is normal especially if he is above average smart! I was also like you describe your son in school and I consider myself really smart. The problem with our schools today is that they want every kid to act the same and to follow the same track but as we all know kids are not created equal and if really smart kids do not get hard enough lectures or work they get bored and want to play, that's very normal. My whole like I got N's and U's in conduct but straight A's for grades. Now i'm a sucessful college graduate working as a Chemist for a global coorporate company. Don't be so h*** o* your self, let kids be kids. i don't know why you would need any professional help if you know there are no emotional problems. People are too quick to think that they are unsucessful parents and teachers and caregivers are quick to give medicine to perfectly normal kids. Relax try something inventive, like stimulate your some with some hard house work or mowing the lawn or do some extra math at home, see if these things help. Sometimes when you hit a roadblock, you have to stop the current parenting method and try something totally different. Good Luck.

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A.A.

answers from Wichita Falls on

Sounds like he may have ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder). You can take him to your family doctor and discuss this w/him. If your doctor diagnoses him with ADD there is medication to help treat it. You will be amazed at the difference you will see w/medication.

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J.T.

answers from Dallas on

First of all you need to not let society who puts judgemental thoughts in all of us about kids who have ADD/ADHD. Society has negatively labeled these kids as "bad kids". Now dont get me wrong there are "bad kids" out there but look at how their parents look and see their behavior, usally as nothing. Then there are those sweet kids who simply CANNOT control it and it is not the parents fault at all!! I have an 8 yr old and we started having behavioral problems in kinder as well, never had a mean fighting kid, just a kid who couldnt sit still through lessons, had problems focusing on what was being taught. His kinder and first grade teacher felt it was boredom. He was always the first one to complete work and then would be disruptive to others. Long story short I avoided ADHD meds his first grade year and felt or hoped he would grow out of it. Until now third grade, it affects his grades, it is not that he isn't smart he just cant control his unability to remain focus and sit still. He has now been on Focalin XR for 2 months and wow, what a difference, his teacher didnt believe in ADD/ADHD she was surprised at the differnce. I probably wouldnt really do meds at this level but once they start getting acutal grades and have to take tests in order to move on to the next grade level. I would diffently recommend a evaluation. It hurt me so much to see him so sad when he didnt get smiley faces on his behavior charts and it hurt more to see him cry and feel like he was a bad kid cause he would get in trouble for talking when he wasnt suppose to, answering questions when he didnt raise his hand instead just shouted out the answer. He would come home and cry and say I just wanted her to know that I knew the answer. So please before it starts to hurt his self esteem an evaluation wont hurt and do reasearch on the CDC.gov website. I am a nurse as well but refused to give him what he needed until I couldnt take his little heart aching anymore cause he felt like he was a bad kid. Now he is great and happy that he is completing his class assignments and is raising his hand and asking questions, he is just more involved and in tune with what is going on in class. Do more reasearch!

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A.J.

answers from Dallas on

As a mom who is going through some similar things, I suggest you get him help right away, the sooner the better, I was in denile for a while but my son who is only almost 5 is getting the help he needs and he will be better off for it. the therapists think i am doing the right thing for getting him help sooner than later when it may be to late. I would take him to a psyciatrist or neurologist or phycologist who deals with kids with adhd or behaviour problems and get him some help before he refuses to cooperate with you and the help you get. Good luck, I know its tough but you want to give him the tools he needs to succeed.- AJ

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K.W.

answers from San Antonio on

Hi! I just had to write to you because I can feel your sense of frustration and despair through your words! first of all STOP WORRYING SO MUCH THAT YOU CRY YOURSELF TO SLEEP!! This doesn't do ANYONE any good--least of all YOU!! I have 2 boys (9 and 6) and i am a stay at home mom so i know the challenges you are facing! everyone thinks it's so easy, right? :) You really have your hands full with the younger ones and there's not much you can do about that right now. The babies need you more than your 6 year old does to do things for them. do you think his acting this way is maybe his way of getting attention? sometimes it's hard for the oldest child to go from being the center of your world to having to share that with another sibling (and your son has TWO!). Also, and really think about this one... is your house pretty chaotic right now? how are the children's routines? can you sit down as a family for dinner and talk or are you constantly having to get up and do something for one child or another? i know that babies are very demanding (please! i KNOW!), so maybe your oldest son is feeling like his life is spinning out of control and he can't seem to get his brain to focus. are YOU feeling overwhelmed and not calm? pulled in every direction? do you see how any of this may be affecting your son? kids learn how to deal with life from us, so if you are feeling unorganized and the house is chaotic then he is going to have a hard time learning how to be organized and focused. does this make any sense? and another thing--DO NOT FEEL LIKE A FAILURE!!! are you kidding me? i personally am amazed that you can get up in the morning!! :)
so, just try this for a few weeks and see what developes. try and bring some order to your house. sit down and write up a schedule (something you can REALLY sitck to--nothing too strict and allow for some deviation because it WILL happen). also, there is no shame in talking to a professional. sometimes outside help is a good thing! he or she can really give good advice on dealing with your child--and it does NOT mean anything is wrong with your kid! i don't know of any child behaviorists, but i'm sure there are some here. ask your peditrician. i know that when my husband was in the military we took our oldest who was then 2 to see a child psycologist because his behavior seemed to change overnight and our once sweet baby was now somewhat of a royal pain! the guy looked at us like we were nuts! there we sat 2 eduated people (my husband is a MD and i have a degree in education)with this 2 year old who was running our lives! my point is is that we were overanalyzing the situation when the simplist answer was right under our noses! he was 2 for pete's sake! let him be 2, but teach him what is acceptable and what is not and never loose patience! good luck to you!let me know how things work out if you get a chance!

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B.C.

answers from Dallas on

It is right to get your child evaluated, but be very careful. Everyone is so quick to diagnose AD/HD right now. My son is like yours. When I was a single mom I put him on meds at age 4 because I didn't know what to do. My husband of 3 years said this was rediculous and he noticed that my son was just REALLY intellegent. He is in kinder and at the begining of the year he got a sad face (behavior chart) every day, but was working well above the other children in his class. He does multiplication and is a very logical thinker. The problem is just that he gets bored. The public school system needs these kids to be cattle and follow the herd, but some kids just can't and won't. We have a reward jar and a consequence jar. They each have pieces of paper in them that our child gets to pull from. We also use sports teams as leverage. Look, I also used to cry myself to sleep thinking I did something wrong during pregnancy, or I was just a bad mom. This is not true. Start using behavior charts with stickers. Give your son one or two directions at a time. Read the book Boys Adrift. Be stern with him, intellegent kids are very manipulative. If you live in Frisco or around here I can give you the name of a great play therapist. My son is finally doing well. He has gotten happy faces every day at school for 2 weeks so he has earned a trip to the movies and to McD's. Oh, and as another mom said, we give our son a daily vitamin, an Iron pill (he is anemic and this can effect behavior) and an Omega-3/DHA vitamin. Proper nutrition is key. I am against AD/HD meds, it was heck getting my son off of them and these children need to learn coping skills! If I took speed every day I would perform better as well. Growing minds need to be free of neurotoxic elements. Think about that and PM me if you need more support or advice. I have been through it all! God bless!

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M.E.

answers from Austin on

Hi Sanna K
I see you are at your wits end and i can sense your desperation and frustration lies more on what your child is missing due to his behavior. First of all don't take your child's behavior personally, he is not doing this to get back at you even though sometimes it might seem that way. It is normal. you can't just make it go away you have to change it, but it takes time and patience.Kindergarten is a big change in children's lives some kids embrace it others dont know how to adjust. if you are frustrated think about how our child feels that he is not behaving as he is expectted self control is a hard thing to master for an adult, its even more difficult for a child. there is not a quick fix to this. try to think about when was this behavior more apparent, did it start when he attended school? or after the birh of your second child or the third? It seems that your child became a big brother to two siblings in a very short period of time, he might still be going thru an adjustment period and might be competing for attention and getting the attention when he misbehaves. try to dedicate some alone time with him so he can feel special, during this time focus on what makes him happy, it culd be just eating icecream together or going to the play gorund just with him, i know you have two other children that depend highly on you but if your sister or your husband can help you baby sit for half an hour it would be great. you have to remeber he had your undivided attention for several years, and he doesn't have the ability to communicate what he is feeling.
things that ou can try would be positive reinforcement like acuumulating coins or token in a jar for every time he does not get a reprimand in school or for picking up his clothes etc... after he has accumulated the amount of tokens you guys have decided on ( remeber he is only six) he gets a prize like renting a movie special for him, he gets to choose it. When he misbehaves tell him exactly what behavior was not acceptable and the consequence it carries.ou can even do this before the bhavior happens: for example in the morning that you send him to school you can say something like "I hope you have a great day at school now remeber you are such a smart boy that you can set an example to your friends by following the rules.( at this point ou go over the rules) AND IF YOU HAD A GREAT DAY AT SCHOOL YOU CAN GET REWARDED AT HOME AS WELL" remember if ou get our clipped moved toda you may not go out to play or watch our favorite cartoon etc
Set up clear ground rules simple enough that he knows what the cosequences are and always follow thru. for example if he is in time out , don't speak to him during time out.
I know that this may not sound as much but everything takes time so don't give up on it. another iportant thing never talk about the child's behavior with someonle else when he is present, the onl thing your child hears is your complaint about him not being liked. I hope this helps you.

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T.E.

answers from Houston on

First of all, welcome to the club of who has a little boy in school who gets in trouble. I have a very sweet 6 year old who is in 1st grade who gets in trouble at school,too. Whether it is talking too much , or not wiating his turn to talk,. A lot of the behavior might be copying other kids. If your son doesn't act like this at home( or even if he does), just reinforce your rules and how you expect him to act. But don't make yourself and your home life miserable b/c of it. You have to pick and choose your battles and if the worst thing that happens is our kids get in trouble at school for talking too much, then we have done a good job! Please remember that 6 is still young forall the rules that kids have at school and if the teacher is grumpy one day or short of patience then that will also efect behavior reports from school
Hang in there

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L.C.

answers from Dallas on

S.,
When a child is having that hard of a time its NOBODY's fault. Seek help for this kid! It sounds like he is impulsive and can't help it. He may have sensory issues. Or he may have some impulse control issues. Just because you cannot control it doesn't mean its your fault. The only fault of yours would be to ignore this problem and not get himi help! You can start by seeing a developmental pediatrician. There is one in Medical City named Lisa Genecov. There are natural and alternative ways to help your child too. If he is having Sensory Integration problems then you could call Sally Fryer at Integrative Pediatric Therapy and she can evaluate him.
Google Sensory Integration and see if that sounds like your son. The poor child is trying and has impulses where he cannot control them. Benn through this so if you want to email me you can. PLEASE DO NOT WAIT ANOTHER DAY FOR YOUR LITTLE ONE TO GET SOME HELP!
L.

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T.D.

answers from Killeen on

you need to take him to a child psychologist and have him tested for ADHD. it is nothing to do with you as a parent. I have a son with ADHD and he is the sweetest boy, he loves to hug everyone, and he never meets a stranger. But there is something wrong with the way his brain is wired. he has compulsive issues, anger issues, and other issues. I know what it is like to cry yourself to sleep trying to figure out what you did wrong. i also have 2 other kids who are perfectly fine. i couldn't figure out what was wrong with him since i raise all my kids exactly the same. but i now know it is not me and it is not his fault. he sees a counselor who is trying to teach him how to control himself so he won't be so compulsive and angry all the time. he is trying to teach him to stop and think before he does things. i also talk to other moms on a web site called www.cafemom.com and they are wonderful people (for the most part) and you can tell them your problems and they have been through it and can tell you how to handle it. good luck.
T.

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S.T.

answers from Houston on

Don't blame yourself! Getting help does not mean you are a bad mom.

My girls are on the autism spectrum and can be very disruptive (you should have seen us at church today.) But you do the best you can and if it's not good enough, you get help. I was homeschooled which helped a whole lot and I am homeschooling my children. But that's not always the answer for some people.

Also, look at your son's diet. Is he having refined sugar (or a lot of sugar) artificial flavors and colors, artificial sweetner, ect? Some children are sensitive to wheat or dairy which causes difficulty in concentration or behavioral problems. Medication is not always necessary, and certainly not preferable if a change in diet helps.

Well, I wish you all the best. You might ask if the school would have him evaluated for learning disabilities. At least it can give you a start. My children are so smart, but it doesn't mean they don't have disabilities.

S., mom to four

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G.F.

answers from Dallas on

Like several other mom's have mentioned I strongly recommend you get your son evaluated and do it immediately. It can sometimes take a while to get into see a good pediatric specialist, so do your legwork and make an appt immediately. You can start with your pediatrician and request recommmendations and/or a referal. I'd also talk to his teacher and see what kind of assistance you might be able to get from the school district as well. At a bear minimim once your son has a diagnosis from a doctor they will be required to work with you.

It's possible that your son has ADD/ADHD or even a sensory related disorder. Kids with these disfunctions aren't bad kids, they just have have other issues going on in their bodies and nuerosystems that make their behaviors difficult to control. It's not your fault, and your son is still very young, so getting in front of this now can make a world of difference. Make an appt right away, and in the meantime prior to your son's evaluation I would read as much as you can get your hands on about the potential medical related disorders. Do as much as you can in advance of an appointment to put in writing the behaviors you and his teachers are observing. As often as you can think about what happened immediately prior to the behavior happening (and the assoicated environment), and also what happened immediately following the behavior. Also consider what things your son has in his diet. There are some common food allergies such as milk, wheat etc that can often trigger behavior related issues. Also if there are any "triggers" you can think of that might make his behaviors worse one day vs another.

My son has sensory processing disfunction. Best thing I can do to describe it, is that the brain does not effectively/efficently processing all of the various sensory inputs (sight, sound, touch etc). Sometimes things feel too itchy, uncomfortable, visually overwhelming, too loud. Or sometimes they may feel that they are not getting enough sensory input so they crave various stimuli - they might be happiest when running, jumping, spinning, chewing on things, etc. My son has a combination of sensory-sensitivity and sensory-seeking behaviors. We are not yet sure if he is falls on the autistic spectrum or not. He is 3 years old goes to a special structured preschool program via Keller ISD. We have been very pleased. I mention this because if your child does have some special needs, your school system will work with you to develop and Individualized Education Plan that is appropriate for your son.

We have an appt with Cook's Child Study Center in Fort Worth in Feburary and we hope to find out more my son's issues then. (http://www.cscfw.org) Neurodevelopmental and behavioral pediatricians staff the program. The Center is the only source for this subspecialty care in Tarrant County. Neurodevelopmental and behavioral pediatricians evaluate the interaction of medical/biologic factors with development. Just to prep you in case you look into the Child Study Center - At the time we submitted our application at Child Study Center it was approximately a 3 month wait to get in for an evaluation there.

Here are a few links you might check out if you are interested in getting an overview of some of the ADD/ADHD and sensory related disorder commonalities and differences:
http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/ADD-and-ADHD-r...

http://www.sinetwork.org/aboutspd/spdadd.html

http://www.healthcentral.com/adhd/related-conditions-4057...

Good luck to you. You are not alone. :-)

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J.R.

answers from Dallas on

You can talk to the school counselor and ask for a ADHD questionaire and give it a look to see if you think he would fall into that category. However, if you don't think he should be formally evaluated for ADHD, and you have tried changing his diet, or used different rewards/consequences for behaivor and all kinds of other stuff, then it could just be the school. My son always had a hard time in school. By 2nd grade he was put in "isolation" and "in school suspension" for crazy things like tapping his pencil on the desk too much. We tried everything at home to reinforce good behavior at school. I tried volunteering at the school and observing in his classes to see what was going on, and that is when I realized that a lot of it was just he and the school/teachers didn't fit. The school was so focused on TAKS testing it was unbelievable. Worksheet after worksheet and then extra tutoring during gym time no less! They were not allowed to talk in lunch, or PE, or the restrooms (yes, there were even bathroom monitors to tattle on each other). My son was always one in trouble, so any little thing he did he would automatically be given the harshest consequence possible. I was like you and would be crying almost every day and so frustrated with my son and just couldn't figure out why. For other reasons we moved to a different house and the change in the schools is unbelievable! He went from in trouble every single day, to maybe given a warning for talking once a six weeks. He has a wonderful new set of friends that I actually like having over to play, and most importantly he loves school again. So my advice would be to really take a look at your son first and make sure that ADHD doesn't apply to him, and then volunteer, volunteer, volunteer at your son's school so you know what is really going on all day. And every time he gets in trouble speak to the teacher about the whole situation and ask about what was going on before and after so you have a good understanding. Also the school counselor can be a great help. If the teacher is getting frustrated with your son during class, ask her to send him to the counselor for a break, and the counselor should be able to redirect so that when he goes back to class he will be a little more focused. I wish you all the best!

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C.P.

answers from Dallas on

Please, please, please stop blaming yourself--it does no one any good. Find the root cause of the problem--take your son to his pediatrician & get a referral to a psycologist or someone who can diagnose learning differences. It could be ADD/ADHD or oppositional defiance disorder, or any number of other issues, or various combinations. You can't deal with this without professional help.

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M.K.

answers from Dallas on

I went through something similar with my child. I called it the "Denise the Menace syndrome", because he honestly could not tell us why he was doing the things he was doing. He disrupted class from boredom and a constant need to be on the go. He developed other symptoms that eventually lead us to the right help, but it was frustrating. We looked at everything we could think of: Sleep quality, allergies, reflux, and behavioral problems. We were eventually told that he needed a special school to cater to him, as he would be bored in the public school setting. Too expensive, so we have him in educational programs during the summer to entice him to behave during the school year. He is rewarded with special priviledges, small toys, etc. We found Leapster to be a big asset in our situation because it teaches him while he is in motion. I wish you luck. Never, ever make yourself feel that this is your fault in some way, or that you are not a good parent. This is not a defect, it's an asset. Original thinkers never fit a mold, they invent one.

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J.K.

answers from Dallas on

Well, I have a 6 year old son that I homeschool. He does some of the same things that you are describing your son doing. He is in a hurry about everything. And like your son he is very smart. I am trying to be consistent with what I want him to do and giving him consequences for his behavior. Sometimes he tells me that he has a hard time with self -control. I think it could be part age and part personality. My oldest has always been fast with doing things and he goes full force into whatever he is doing. My second son is laid back and is never in a hurry about anything. The problem that I know you are running into is that the teacher is having a problem trying to keep order and teach the students. Have you talked with the teacher about what she might recommend doing? You could get him evaluated, but most of the time the tend to want to push drugs really quickly so you have to be careful about that. Do you have him on a good multi-vitamin and Omega-3 (fish oil)? I talked with a mom who researched that if children do not get the adequate nutrition that that can have a factor on behavior also. I do notice a difference with my oldest when I forget his vitamins that day. You could try vitamins if you don't have him on them and maybe give him a goal to work towards for good behavior at school something that he can get his mind on. Also, do you think he could be bored? You stated that he was smart, that might be something to talk to his teacher about whether or not he gets into mischief because he already knows what she is covering therefore it doesn't hold his interest. Just a few suggestions, good luck!!

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M.A.

answers from Dallas on

Mar7aba, I noticed your name is Arabic, and I am from Palestine/Lebanon, but born and raised here in the US. I am an experienced Kindergarten teacher and first grade teacher, and my father is a pediatrician who specialiszes in attention defecit disorder in young children. I have been to many conferences with him and been to much training on this topic, so I feel like I may be able to give you some advise.

First of all, please don't blame yourself for his behavior, some children are born this way, and there is absolutely NOTHING to be ashamed or embarrased of getting professional help. On the contrary, if you do not help him now, you will be at fault for his failure in the future. So please, take my advise and ask his school to give you the ADD questionaire for you and your husband to fill out, one for the teacher to fill out, and then you will take the questionaires to your son's Pediatrician and ask the doctor what kinds of things you can do to help him out. The school will also have many resources and suggestions to help you. But in the public school system it is against the law for the teachers to come straight out and tell you they think he might have ADD. All they are allowed to do is make suggestions by telling you facts that are happening in school. Once your doctor gives him a diagnosis (or doesn't) then you will be able to ask the school for help. THe doctor also has medication that, when given in small doses, become very successful in behavior and academics.
I have seen this happen so many times in my classroom and the help it makes is so dramatic and life changing, not only for the child, but for the parents and the boys teachers.
Also, my nephew is on the medication and has gone from the worst boy in the class to the top of the class in grades he gets straight A's.

I hope this helps, I hope I wasn't too blunt, and if you would like to write back , please do so. :)

Thanks- M.

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