6 Month Old - Early Signs of Separation Anxiety

Hi G., yes she is becoming her own individual. So here is the game plan, make it a game. Don't let them hold her at first. Put her in her chair, swing, or whatever. And talk to her and play with her from there at first. She should be starting to pull up, so they can put their fingers out for her to grab and hold on to, then once she starts pulling up from there, they should be able to hold her. She is starting to learn that she does not need to be held all the time. She wants to play with her feet, put her hands in her mouth, make noise because she realizes that it is coming from her. Nothing is wrong, but if she does not want to be held, don't force it.

I think your daughter is going through a typical phase that may or may not last. Some kids are just mama's kids. Both mine are. They are just fine and not manipulating me in any way they just know what their needs are. I will give them what they need, however inconvenient it might be, so that they can be happy well-adjusted adults who aren't lacking in anything. A child who's needs aren't met turn into adults who's needs aren't met. A lot harder to fix later on. Apologize to your guests, assure them it has nothing to do with them, and hold your daughter.

My 15 month old still has stranger anxiety or anyone he doesnt see regularly. My first son went through this but not as long. His ped said its normal and he will grow out of it. He is getting better the older he gets, so just ride it out. Its normal for some babies. Dont push her to be held by someone she isnt comfortable with. Let her warm up to them and decide if she wants to go by them. Dont force her.

Hi G.,

I would recommend that you allow your daughter to be around your relatives for a bit before they try to hold her/pick her up. Let her adjust to them for a day or so, with you or your husband there. Then maybe you can try to have them hold her. Also, my in-laws, etc., always found that they were better able to spend time with my daughter when my husband and I weren't around. Maybe they could take her for a stroller walk without you, or watch her for a bit while you and your husband do something else... Just make sure that you say goodbye to her quickly and happily -- separation anxiety occurs because she doesn't know that you're going to come back, so keeping goodbyes short and happy can be reassuring (I read this in Parenting magazine and it's helped some). Eventually, she'll get over her stranger/separation anxiety, but in the meantime, don't stop having her be around new and different people - it actually does more help than harm.

All best,
R.

My baby is 7 months and she's the same way. If I am standing there, she will fuss in the arms of anyone else, sometimes even my husband. When I take her back she'll spin her head around to see who it was she was just fussing with, and she'll beam a huge smile at them! She loves people, just prefers to interact with them from the safety of mama's arms. And that's okay with me! At this age, you don't need to force them to stay with others if it isn't necessary. Other people just need to be understanding about it.

Hi G. your daughter is that age when she sees a stranger will cry. When my grandson was about that age my daughter and I took him for his check-up. As soon as the doctor came in he start crying. The doctor said"that was good that he can reconize a stranger." So before your in-laws come trying telling her that grandma, grandpa, uncle and auntie will be coming and show her a pictures(I don't know how much of this she'll understand being so young). But when they come just gradually re-introduce them. And when she see how comfortable you and your husband are with them, she'll be okay.

My daughter was the same way, and now at 9 mo. she is doing great with people again. The one thing we discovered is that she really needed to warm up to the new people. Before we could just pass her over and she would be content, at 6 mo. it became how about mommy and you sit on the ground and play while the new people sit on the couches and you get used to them. Eventually maybe 10min or more she starts to get curious and would crawl over to them and want to engage them in play, or allow them to come over and play with her without screaming and crying. I think it's normal, just try and get them to give her some space and allow her to explore them and decide that she's ready to play with them.
I think it's great she now checks mommy and daddy's reactions to people to make sure they are safe and then she will engage with them. I perfer that to strangers wanting to hold my baby and her being okay with that.
I remember my parents came to see her and she didn't remember them it had been a few months and she got in the car with them in the backseat and went ballistic I have never heard her cry like that. My dad had to drive to my house from the airport because she wouldn't allow them to sit in the backseat with her. It does get better!

Give her a few minutes to do some crying and then leave her with them while you go into the kitchen or somewhere within talking distance. She'll adjust-really! I'd say actually walk outside or something but you'll probably be nervous about it. Babies can pick up on our anxiety, also. I have a hunch since it is your family and you are comfortable and love them you probably won't have a problem at all!

We had/have the same problem with our 9 mo old. We only see my parents once a month, so he doesn't always remember them. (It is getting better though!) What I've found to work is to make sure that they are "reintroduced" when the baby isn't just waking up or about to go for a nap. It's too much for our son. At first, they would show up and act very excited to see him, and that reaction seemed to freak him out. It was just too much. So now they stay a bit more calm and we all just visit for a bit first. After a few minutes to adjust, my dad will start playing with a toy that he likes and then he'll get down on the floor and it's fine if I leave or if someone else holds him. If he's really tired, it's not good though. I agree with the person that posted to let someone else feed him too. That works well for us too.

I completely agree with the others who said that is just the nature of certain babies. My daughter began separation anxiety at 5 months and it lasted a year. No exaggeration there. People hinted that it was because I held her too much and paid too much attention. My mom even took it personally that her granddaughter wouldn't tolerate her. Babies need to know you are there to meet their needs and you need to use your instinct to decide how to approach it. My husband and I were called home from various engagements by frantic babysitters who couldn't calm our daughter down. It didn't matter how we left the house. She would wail for hours. Now she is a sweet little three year old who is perfectly adaptable with caregivers. Hold your little love and don't worry if she only has eyes for you right now.

Explain to them what has been going on with your little darling before they arrive. Then once they get there, continue to hold her while your guest say hi to your daughter. Then maybe sit down on the couch next to a guest that is looking to hold her and maybe try gradually passing her to one of your guests with you staying close by.
Another way is, if you are no long breast feeding and have switch to a bottle let your guest try to feed her a bottle or feed her what ever cereal or fruits that you may be feed her.
Another things is a little strange but it can work. As your female guests to not use any perfumes or fancy smelling soaps or powders unless they are the same scent as yours. The same with the men and there after shaves. Babies feel more comfortable with someone that smells like mom and dad.
There you have it a couple ideas. Hope they help

Most babies cry when others hold them -so don't worry. At this age the baby is testing what they can and can't have. Of course, the testing of the parents never stops. Next time you hand the baby offf leave the room. Let her see you left the room. Maybe even leave the house. She'll cry for a while but eventually will calm down. She is probably not used to being held by others. It will take time. Try to be patient. SHe remembers you family but what is better than mommy and daddy- when she cries you take her back. Nothing wrong with that but she is learning that if she cries she can get mommmy or daddy to hold her. Good Luck

That's just normal behavior. My 1 1/2 year old doesn't like when anyone else holds him still! Even sometimes when he's with his dad all he says is MOM, MOM. The only way someone else can hold him is if he doesn't see me. So let people hold him and sneak out of the room. If he sees you, then it's you he wants.

This may or may not be a phase that will last. Some babies are just like this. Does your husband hold her a lot? My sister who has 5 adult children used to tell me, when my little ones were young "pass them early, pass them often", meaning, "let your baby get used to other people holding them". Don't make a big deal out of other's being around her. If they want to hold her - just let them (of course, as long as you and your husband trust them!!!) At first, let it be in your eyeshot so she gets used to it. Your baby is also sensing your tension too. If she cries, assure her that you are right there. You'll most likely swoop her out of someone else's arms if she starts crying anyway. If they are going to be staying the weekend, she'll get used to the faces around her. Letting them hold her during a feeding, when you are not present, is very helpful. Trying to keep her on a fairly good routine when they are present, is helpful, so that her disposition remains fairly consistent. Again, a baby can feel your tension so do your best to go with the flow and remain calm.

Enjoy.