Little Girl Not Liking Her Daddy

my advice would be to leave the baby with her. 8 mo old is a normal age to go thru stranger anxiety. the crying would probably stop once you are not around to rescue her....leave them for them to spend time together. He needs to bond with her for their relationship and for your sanity. He also needs to act like it is no big deal...babies pick up on when someone is uncertain about being around them.

My daughter definitely preferred me to anyone else - especially at that age. Try to interact with your daughter together, so she can see you both. That way, she will eventually more accepting of him. Right now she assumes its an either or situation. Definitely reassure your husband that this is a rough age for many kids and is not any reflection on the kind of relationship they will have in the future.
Good luck!

All of the advice below is great. Please tell your husband to be patient. My daughter would cry with my husband all the time as well. She would do better if I left the room or if I wasn't at home, and of course she would start crying and try to get to me. She's 17 months now and still prefers me, but loves daddy too. As a matter of fact she started saying "Daddy" before she started saying "Mommy" So tell him to keep at it, and Daddy's little girl just needs to get a little older.

I agree with both the previous posts. My husband even stayed home the first three weeks of my maternity leave, but then had to go back to work. Babies get used to a routine just like adults, so they tend to want to be around the person they are most comfortable with - - which usually is Mommy! BUT, now if Daddy is in the room then my daughter wants nothing to do with me, so I just keep telling myself it's a stage and not to take it personal. Tell your hubby to hang in there and just try to be around as much as possible. You may have to leave just for a little while so neither of them have a choice...

My daughter is the same way! However I have a determined husband and he just MAKES me leave so he can have their time. He mostly does this on the weekends. He will take a whole day where he does everything. We do still breastfeed, so I did have to step in at times, but for everything else it was all daddy.

She of course still has mommy issues, but I think it really is more a matter of age and not what is going on in your home. My daughter is this way with EVERYONE. We can't go anywhere without her being stuck to me like glue. As much as I think I might be a baby hog, I think it really is more a product of being a stay at home mom. Babies get used to routine and I am what she sees everyday and who takes care of all of her needs. I know she will grow out of it and some babies have it worse than others, but it won't last forever.

In the end your husband has to be the one to step up and just take her on. Yes she will scream for a bit, but he has to be willing to ride that out. The more he steps up and jumps in, the more she will get used to him. The key is however you can't be in the room or even in the house! I know that is hard, but what I do is go to my room, shut the door and turn the TV on. I just try and tune it all out. If I can get out of the house I do... that way I don't have to hear any of her cries. Yes he won't do thing like you would and I am sure if we could watch out husbands we would be shaking our heads, but the kids will survive they will know this is daddy's way of doing thing :)

Good luck! Just know you are not alone!

Does she see you and your son interact with him? Like hugs, kissing, etc. It she does and that does not work, then just leave her with him. It usually takes roughly 3 times alone with either a daycare provider, nursery attendant @ church, or things like that and your response to them when you leave helps. He needs to say things like "mommies always come back" "Come play with daddy". Give her something that is familiar when you leave. Always talk calm, loving words when you hold her as mommy leaves too. Mommy needs to cut the tie a little more and say things like, "Daddy will help you", as you hand her over. It is okay for her to cry a little, but if you continue not just walking away so dad can handle it, then she won't learn to love him too. I hope this helps! K

My son was similar...and not because I was a baby hog! I think kiddos are just more attached to the parent who is taking primary care of them...especially if you are breastfeeding. My hubby would constantly say "he doesn't like me...he'll never like me" and I kept telling him to give it time and be patient. Sure enough, at about 9 months, he suddenly discovered his daddy...and now at 14 months, I suddenly barely exist! It just takes time and make sure Dad is trying to care for her. Find one or two things that just HE does for her (my hubby is the only one who bathes him- or used to until our son started playing more with him- and now gets him ready for bed occasionally and does a lot more for him because our son lets him) and eventually she will become more and more comfortable with him...probably even a Daddy's girl! Just remind him that all kids go through this stage and that it will wear off soon enough. Also, keep in mind that kids tune into feelings, so make sure you are keeping any hard feelings towards your hubby (if there are any...) between just the two of you and give him a chance to work things out himself! Try not to give him the baby during those harder crabby evening hours or when he is tired because that does make the situation a little more frustrating and harder to deal with. Try to have him do things for her in the AM or during the day when she is happier in general!

I just want to reassure you that it's nothing to do with your husband or your separation. Mine are 2 years apart so my husband spent most of his time getting the 2-year-old fed, dressed, ready for daycare, etc and I mostly took care of the newborn. My daughter did the same thing as yours... She was just over 1 year old when she finally relaxed around him and 18-24 months when she became daddy's little girl (meaning 'get lost, mommy' :-) )

She's still very good at playing us off each other (she's 3 now) and running to mommy for comfort, especially when daddy has asked her to do something and isn't giving in to her whining. I should probably get used to that.

Something that I suggest is do little daddy bonding times. If he is oay with it ask him to change her diapers when he is home. Let him burp her. Maybe let him bathe her. Start small and keep it simple until she is old enough to see that her daddy is fun and cool to be around. At this age babies feel loved as they have people doing things for them. I don't know if this helps but I know that it works for us. It will take time and my 2 year old adores her daddy.

This is normal even if you never seperated, all kids do this. It has little to do with him not being there. She has very short term memory. It is about comfort and kids just knowing mom is the one to take care of them. Even happy married couples struggle with this one! :) Men take it personally more often unfortunately.
Just encourage time with daddy, leave the house and she will be fine. Once she learns she can trust him, that you will be back she will get it.
Most all kids go through this. Neither of my kids would stop fussing unless I was the one to pick them up for the longest time, then my daughter switched gears and "daddy" had to do everything.
Now I am divorced and when my ex visits my daughter only wants my help and my son only wants daddies. I think it just is about security for them more then anything.
She is young it is normal at her age to have seperation issues, hang in there and tell your husband not to take it personally. It is a growing phase and her comfort zone, but don't always be rushing to her if she cries when he gets her either.
Take a break! You need it for you as well as for your kids! :)

This is not about you being a "baby hog." Both of my kids went through not wanting daddy (or anyone at all but me) at around that same age. I think that it is around this time that little ones figure out that mommy is a separate being, which means that mommy can leave - WAAAH! What they haven't figured out yet at that age is that mommy will always come back, and that they can be safe with someone else. My son was really bad about it, to the point that it hurt my husband's feelings. Both my babies were so focused on me that I couldn't even go to the bathroom without the baby losing it.

Please forgive me if I sound like I'm trying to be "the expert" - I'm not - but I can share what worked for us through two kids with heavy mommy separation issues.

Please tell your husband that the key here is gentle persistence. He needs to avoid showing his frustration to the child. If she doesn't want him to hold her he should put her down next to him or near him, but stay with her. She will scream. He needs to stay calm and stay with her anyway. And you could try taking a walk - at first 5 minutes, then 10, then 15 - to get a break and leave those two alone so they can work out a relationship. Your daughter needs to learn two things - that mommy always comes back, and that daddy is also "her person," and safe and loving to be with.

Good luck - please keep telling yourself, and your spouse, that this is a normal stage of development for many kids and it will pass.

this may have little to do with your "baby hogging" and more to do with your baby's personality. my daughter 2.5 still gets upset sometimes when i leave her with daddy. she went through a phase where she was totally happy and fine, but is mommy's girl all over again. baby's just need their mamas. . . are you still feeling a little edgy around dad? she could sense that. if not, then again, it may just be her personality and needs. sorry, no advice except to love it, because one day she'll want you to drop her off a block from school and not kiss her goodbye when she leaves the house. . . . so just enjoy (eventhough you feel like you need a little time to yourself) and of course. . . take time to yourself, but know that baby may just not be very happy about it and hubby can't take it personally.

What your daughter is doing is totally normal, at 8 months some "stranger anxiety" is developmentally appropriate, in fact a better term for it might be "anyone but Mommy axiety." She would probably respond the same way no matter who picked her up, whether it is Daddy or the mailman she is going to be worried because it is not YOU. The only way I have ever found for dealing with that with my own daughters and husband has been to just let them have Daddy time even if they cry through it, mind you, it should be in small, managable chunks, and some men are less patient than others and may not want to hold a crying baby for more than a second. It is not a good idea to leave your baby alone with your husband if you feel that he can not handle a crying baby with love and patience, but if he can just practice holding and rocking her while talking to her in a gentle voice or singing to her for a few minutes every day then she will begin to understand that Daddy loves her and that she is safe with him. You can also hold her in your arms and have Daddy talk to her and play with her, a quick game of "got your toes" might make her smile at him and make him feel much better about his relationship with his baby. As she gets older it will get easier! But I have to say, expecting a child to help to improve your relationship with your husband is just SUCH a bad idea, so please be careful and don't balme your relationship troubles on your babies, EVER! Good luck!

Oh, I just thought of one more great idea, why not have your husband put the baby in her stroller and take her on a walk? She might really like that because she can not see who is pushing the stroller and he will like that fact that he is getting to spend some quality time with the baby! I have used that trick when I babysat for a friend's baby who was going through the same stranger axiety stage and it worked like a charm, not only did the baby stop crying, but we had a great walk, I got exercise, and the baby fell asleep in her stroller and slept unitl her mom came back.

What the other ladies have to say is super advice. One other thing that I did when my husband was at work was to wrap my daughter in one of his shirts so she would get used to his smell. That way one of her senses was already familiar with that stranger she didn't just spend all day with.

it happens all the time and has nothing to do with your separation - she doesn't even know it happened - she's only 8 months old! go away and let them work it out. Tell him to stay calm and sing to her, rock her and just love her. the worst thing to do is take her away from him when she cries, which would make her just cry more. Let him feed her, change her diaper and be her parent as much as possible.