I have a 5 month old son who refuses to nap. He used to nap until he was about 4 to 4 1/2 months old. Even when he did nap he only napped for 30 minutes at a time. I have tried everything.
I've read Dr. Weissbluth's Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, and even that isn't working. In his book he says that you should only let your child cry for 1 hour during nap times. I have done tis and he just continues to cry until the 1 hour is up. I have also tried the leave and check method of going in every 10 to 20 mintues and calming him down...this doesn't work either. I've also read The Baby Whisperer and the No-Cry Sleep Method. I am at a loss for what to do.
My mom says I just have to put him in his crib and let him cry and he will eventually go to sleep. I hate the idea of this, but the other day I tried it. I put him in his crib at 9am, he cried until 9:45 when I realized he was probably hungry, so I fed him and put him back in his crib at 10. He then cried, non-stop until 12:30, at which time I went to him because I couldn't listen to his crying any longer. He cried for 2 1/2 hours straight! He never gives up.
I can usually get him to fall asleep in my arms (after much bouncing and rocking) but getting him into the crib is the hard part. I've even dimmed his room with window shades, I've made sure his room is a good temperature, and I always make sure he is dry and fed when he goes to nap. I've also tried doing a small routine, like reading him a book and singing a song. He just starts crying when he sees the book or when I sit in the rocking chair because he knows it's going to be nap time
It's gotten to the point where now he will only occasionally nap in the car or in my arms. He wants to be held all the time. He even cries when I leave the room or put him down. This has gotten worse because when he's tired from not napping he has no ability to entertain himself - he just gets into this super needy state.
I don't know what to do anymore. I don't get any breaks all day. My friends tell me about their babies who nap twice a day for 2hrs each, that sounds wonderful. Just to have one minute to myself would be heaven. I understand that all babies are different, I wouldn't trade my son in for the world, but a break once in a while would be nice.
He does sleep good at night though. He usually goes to bed at 7pm and sometimes he wakes up around 10 and I ignore him and he goes back to sleep in about 10 minutes. He will then either sleep until 4:30 am and I will feed him then, or he'll sleep all the way until 7am. I just wish he would nap. Does anyone have any suggestions, or has anyone experienced this same thing with their child?
Thank you everyone for all of the advice. :) I have started holding him for his naps. I have tried putting him in his crib once he falls asleep but he always wakes up. If I do let him cry now, it is only for 20 minutes or less. Yesterday we were away from home and I held him for every nap. He was the happiest baby ever! I think he will just grow out of this sometime, because like I said, he can put himself to sleep at night just fine, during the day he refuses. Things have been a lot more peaceful around my house the last few days. Thanks again for all of the help :)
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S.N.
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Portland
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According to DR. Sears your baby is a high needs baby. Falling asleep on his own after crying will NEVER work. I thought there was a book called caring for your high needs infant or something like that, but i can't find it anywhere. Dr. Sears does have a book called The Baby Sleep Book. A high needs infant really does NEED you. Not only does a high needs baby need help to fall asleep, he also needs help staying asleep. If he will only fall asleep by being held, then he needs that. Letting an infant cry it out makes them angry and frightened and makes them want to cling to you even more because they don't want to be back in that lonely place crying for 2 hours or more. Not to mention that excessive crying makes the throat scratchy and is dehydrating. As well as it keeps oxygen from reaching the brain, which is bad for the young developing brain.
Do you have a sling? A sling really helps if your child wants to be held to fall asleep. You can walk around until he falls asleep then sit down and read or watch TV and have a snack.
I can't remember when I was able to put my daughter down for the first time, but even at night, I couldn't lay her down without her waking up. I had to sleep in the recliner so I could comfortably hold her as she slept. Now she is 10mo walking and happy to explore on her own without being afraid of me leaving her. now she knows that I will come running as soon as I hear that she is awake, she doesn't fear sleep.
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S.K.
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He there bud. I won't say much since you've already heard my advice on this topic. :) But I wanted to say hang in there and I agree with the last poster who said just enjoy Isaac and don't try too hard because you'll just make it worse on yourself. Just do what feels right to you and gets you two through the day. Isaac just loves being with you and soon enough he will want nothing to do with cuddling once he can get around on his own. ;) Best of luck and you can call me anytime, as you know. Love ya.
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C.R.
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I am not sure if you have ever used any slings to carry your child, but they are great tools for high need children!!! My son would only sleep while I held him for several months, and the "over the shoulder baby holder" was a life saver!!! It was easy to use, comfortable for him, and left my arms free to have time "to myself". The best result was that with this added securtiy, he started to understand it was safe to sleep, that mommy was right there, and within a couple months was napping alone for 1-2 hours at a time. You can find these slings at most consignment shops, but also online where they are often more expensive.
Best of wishes with your precious high need little one...mine is now 2 and entering the tantrums!!! Fun, fun, fun! :) (Funny how we think ours will never throw such immense fits...very humbling!)
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M.P.
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I whole heartedly agree with Shannon. I'll add that I think part of the problem now is that you're trying too hard. Both you and your baby are no doubt tense and anxious over this situation. Perhaps it would help if you just stopped trying to get him to nap. Relax and enjoy him.
I think all mothers of babies feel as if this lack of sleep and lack of time for ones self will never end but it does.
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A.H.
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I agree with last response. The best slings are the ultimate baby wrap (my favorite) or an asian baby carrier (good for heavier kids). Get a good sling that distributes the weight and carry your baby!
