4 Month Old Won't Sleep in Crib

Hi D.,

My 9 year old never slept in his crib...not once!!! He liked the bouncy chair and he slept in there or his carseat until he was one, and then he went to a toddler bed. Maybe it is a comfort issue with laying flat, maybe he doesn't like the bars...strange but true that some babies don't like the bars...my niece won't sleep in her crib either but will sleep in a regular bed just fine. So, try the swing, bouncy, car seat, anything to find out if it is just a positioning issue. Might help.

D.
35 year old mother of 5 with one more on the way

My oldest did the same thing until i started to let him fall asleep with me (like always) then i would warm his crib mattress up (they are so cold) by putting a heating pad in it under the covers so they were warm to - only for a couple of min make sure you check the temp before you put him in. and the you take the heating pad out and put him in it will be warm so he shouldnt wake up and after a couple of weeks my son got used to it and went right to sleep in his crib i just had to warm it up before . good luck

I remember that feeling well! The key here is to NOT try to fix too many problems at once! Here's my advice, based on what we did with our son:

Put a pack-n-play by your bed.

Nurse him to sleep (if you're still doing that) and place him in the pack-n-play. Much easier to soothe him and put him back this way!

Keep doing this, even if he sometimes still ends up sleeping in bed with you for a little while.

Once he's spending the whole night in the pack-n-play, slowly ease it toward the far side of the room. (Take your time with this- maybe a week or so!)

Once he's sleeping across the room for at least a week, then you can make the switch to a crib in the other room. Keep the pack-n-play up though. My son would start in the crib, and end up in the pack-n-play at first.

If you take your time with this, then he will definitely get used to his crib! We got our son out of our bed and into his crib in less than a month. Without any major screaming fits! After that, you can start working on helping him soothe himself to sleep. (Which will help you get more sleep too!)

Good luck! His crib will be a wonderful and cuddly place, once he's used to it. Have faith! :)

I had the same problem with my first child and it took a bit of time but finally he started to take to it. At one point I had him sleeping in his stroller and he slept for the entire night. So finally, this is what I did, at every nap time I made sure he went into the crib I did not miss a nap and I put him in the crib at bedtime knowing he would give me a problem and he would cry and cry and eventually I would stop going up to check on him as much and in one weekend he got use to it. It does take some time especially since nursing is a big part of the feeding schedule. It may come easier once you stop.

Good Luck,
T.

My son was a pretty good sleeper all along. But we had the crib in our bedroom next to my side of the bed until he was 2 (I didn't want to cosleep so this seemed the best compromise). He napped fine in the pack and play as well, until he outgrew it. Then we moved him to his own room and a twin bed with a rail. It was not as difficult as we expected (he ended up back in the crib the first few nights).

Both my kids were like this. It seemed that they just weren't comfortable unless they were touching me while they slept. Here is what worked for both my kids. Set up the pack and play on your side of the bed. Have the baby fall asleep in your bed. Once asleep, slowly move him to the pack and play. If he wakes move him back to your bed. After a few days of moving him, he will eventually stay asleep once moved. Then give him a week or so to get use to sleeping by himself there. This way he gets use to sleeping alone, but he can still hear you breathing and smell you and that will become soothing to him. Then once you can easily put him in the pack and play without issue, start the same process over again with the crib. The one thing about him being in the pack and play that was nice, was that since I was nursing they were right there for those night feedings, but I had my own bed back. One of the things that helped my daughter sleep in her own crib was sleeping with a shirt I had worn all day. It smelled like me and she found comfort in that. I also would sleep train my kids with soft music playing in the background. It helped set the mood for sleep. It may take a few weeks to do this process, but during this trying time patience is what will get you through. And being sleep deprived I know you don't have much, but once all is said and done you will be so grateful.

Hi D., Congrats on your little boys. All babies are different. Your new little son needs more time with you, First you need to relax because he feels that you are tense and exhausted. I do not know who Weissbluth is but I'm sure he is not a mom. I raised 5 and if they needed to sleep in bed with me, they did, They all grew out of it, were not spoiled and grew into fine, well adjusted adults. Books are fine as a guide but they cannot replace the heart in making decisions about our precious gifts. Grandma Mary

I know, it horrible. We went through the same thing. The advice about a pack and play next to you really worked for us. Don't force him to sleep in the crib, we tried and it was a nightmare. Just leave him in the crib when you know he's tired or relaxed for short periods of time and then pretty soon he will fall right alseep. Maybe nurse him in the room where you have the crib. He needs to associate the crib with a happy nice place. Get an Ocean Wonders aquarium and make sure he has a "lovie". Until then, keep him near you and just try to get through it without going nuts. At about 4 1/2 months our son was moved out of the bedroom. Before this, he hated the crib. I put him in the crib one day when I needed a break and he fussed for about 5 minutes then much to my surprise, he fell asleep! Don't worry, this too will pass!

Try to put him in there during the day. Mine was the opposite, she loved it at night, hated it during the day. I have no idea why. I think we started putting her in the crib at about 5 months, we used a monitor too. Still do at 15 months. Try a little bit each day, even if he doesn't sleep. There is nothing wrong with the swing, mine was a swing baby... Do what you think you need to do, he will get there eventually.

D.,
I had the same problem with my son, I used a portacrib as a bassinet which was right next to my side of the bed. I placed the infant seat in it and let him sleep in that until he started squiggling his way out of it, then I placed him in the portacrib to sleep. Also during the day I would put him down in that without the seat and rubbed his back to get him to sleep. Having him sleeping next to me worked out wonderful for all of us. I was able to nurse him without having to leave my room and everyone else got to sleep as well. Don't get me wrong, we did have a few sleepless nights in the beginning but once we figured out what worked it was great. I think having me close by helped him sleep as he was able to hear my breathing and felt secure. I hope this works for you.
Hugs,
T.

Hi D.,
I have a 2 month old that will not sleep in the bassinet/pack-n-play/crib. She will only sleep in her swing. I have almost given up trying and just surrendered to the fact that she will sleep in the swing until she is ready to sleep elsewhere. Where does he nap? Maybe try letting him sleep there if it works during the day...it's not the ideal situation, but we all know that you have to do what you have to do!!!! Right now I am sleeping on the couch, but once I go back to work, the plan is to bring the swing up in our bedroom. Good luck!
J.

Is there anywhere he DOES like to sleep? My sister had a similar issue...she let her baby sleep in her carseat, in the crib, for a while so she could get used to it.

Also, at 4.5 months...a kid can cry for a while, you know? (We have a baby who's almost a month old, so trust me...I feel your pain!) Put him in, let him cry for a while...go comfort him with whatever comforts him....try again.

I'm sure you've already tried a similar approach...but he's got to sleep eventually...right?!

Good luck!!!!!!

D.,
Have you been to the pediatrician yet? There might be something up with the little guy.

Try the car seat. Or a seated swing. He may have reflux.

Good Luck,
M.

We put our little one in a Pack in Play in our room. The space is smaller than the huge crib.
For my older sons we used a sleep positioner and swaddled them with pacifiers. That worked magic.
Good luck.

I have a 3 year old up at the crack of dawn and a 1 month old. She is up every 1.5-2 hours so I know how you feel. I am just dealing since she's a month but I know with my son we did this stuff until he was 8 months old, and then I bought the book "good night, sleep tight" by Kim west, she is on TV a lot, it helped and you don't have to read the whole book; just the intro and then the chapter applicable to your age group.
Good Luck!

Hi D., you already know not all kids are alike. I'm unsure of what you have tried so far. Does he sleep in his crib at all like during the day for naps? Perhaps you can try putting a piece of clothing that you and you husband have worn in the crib with him or sleeping with a blanket for a day or two and then have it in the crib with him. I have two of my own one who loved sleeping on his own in the crip from the begining and one who woke up in the middle of the night til she was 5.
Perhaps its not the crib at all. I know you must be exhausted and need a quick fix but you need to really study what's triggering it. Slightest behaviour in mood and tension in the crib. My nephew was like that as well and he's only a year. My brother would put him in even if he cried a little each day. So today he'd stay in for 5 minutes even if he cried, tomorrow a little longer, eventually the crying stopped after about 2-3 wks. I hope I was of some help. Wish I had more detail but that's just one moms experience.