9 Month Old Not Sleeping in Crib--ever

I would suggest a couple changes - between co-sleeping and sleeping in a shared room with his brother, I would suggest an intermediate option: a crib or bassinet in your room, for the nights. You have to train him to sleep there - not with you - but being there in the same room might reassure him - you will respond faster to his cries than if you have to go to the other room. Also you will be less tense when you put him in there, he will wake you up or your husband but not his sibblign. Then I would suggest that you work with naps in the crib in his real room - assuming he still needs a nap when his brother does not.again you have to stay around the room, not necessarily pick him up when he cries, but comfort him with pattings and lulabies and holding his hands. also you have to check with daycare what they do to put him in bed (does he falls alseep on their shoulders? do they pick him up as soon as he cries? are they concerned that he sleeps so short?) I know it is hard, but it is only a habit, so you have (and can) to turn it aournd...

good luck,

isa

Sleeping with you is fine. If you are nervouse about having him bed with you get yourself a co-sleeper. You can find them on craigslist or at armsreach.com. We have one and LOVE LOVE LOVE it!!

Good luck, S.

I like Isabelle's suggestions, and I'll share with you what is working for us with our 7 month daughter. I nurse her to sleep and put her in her crib, then when she wakes up I bring her to our room for the rest of the night. At this point, she usually wakes up just once (unless she is sick or going through a big change). That first stretch of sleeping is getting longer and she has now slept through the night more than a handful of times. This is our third child, we cried it out with the first two, which I really hated, so I am Thrilled that this seems to be working with no crying at all! As others have suggested, you can get a co-sleeper to help you feel more comfortable. You can also install a bed rail and put the baby between you and the railing. We have a twin futon on the floor next to our bed, so when I bring her into our room, I nurse her to sleep on the futon and then climb back into my own bed. I would worry that this might start a new reliance on the futon, but as I said, she's now starting to sleep through in her crib. Good luck!

Put a pack-n-play in some other room in the house where it will be minimimally disturbing. I guess he'll have to cry it out a bit but will eventually get used to it. Then you can transition him to the crib in the bedroom.

If he can sleep in a crib at daycare, there's no reason he can't do it at home. He's learned he'll get his way with you with enough screaming. It's going to be tough getting him in his own crib, because it's going to be a battle of wills. How flexible is the 3 yr old in his sleep habits? Can he sleep on a cot in your room for a short while while his younger brother acclimates to his crib? You have to make the crib the 9 months old place to sleep - no where else. He goes there for naps, and for nights. If he falls asleep somewhere else in the house, carry him to his crib so he wakes up there. It's going to be a tough few nights. Start your bedtime routine, then put him in his crib and leave. Check on him in 15 min, don't pick him up, and leave again. Then check on him in 30 min and then in 45 min. My son was resisting his crib at first (he was younger), and I ended up out of sight sitting outside his room for 2 hours till he finally was exhausted enough to sleep. The next night, it was only 20 min before he slept, and by the 3rd night he settled right down in no time and we all slept much better after that. Since your son is older, he might be more stubborn about it, but the crib is really the safest place for him to be. Once he's use to his crib, your 3 yr old should be back in his own bed.