3 Yr. Old Daughter Won't Poop on Potty

I had no problems with my girls but I let them go potty when I did and that worked out great. I know my sister in law let her kids pick out a couple of potty toys that they only got to play with while using the potty. With them picking out the toys and wanting to play with them she had the reverse effect. Lots of times they would want to sit on the potty well after they were done doing their business. All children are different. She is only 3 so I really wouldn't be to worried. Chex cereal is a good finger snack that will help with the bowel movements. Good Luck!

Hi L.,

Two Words: Tough Love!

I am a work at home mom of 3 children.
two girls 5 and 8 mo. and 1 boy he's 4.

Make her sit there and she can't get up until she poops on the potty, no toys, no tv, no nothing until she potties.
It is extremely hard, but very effective. And she will learn that she doesn't get to do thing until she becomes a big girl and uses the potty. I started potty training at 1 yrs old. But my child are able to walk by that time, regardless of what the age is it is effective, and once it happens, just get crazy excited and show her how much you are proud of her.
Works everytime! Good Luck and I hope this helps!

My daughter n law had the same problem with her 3 yr old daughter. It is not an uncommon fear of children who potty train. They too tried everything. Here is what ended up happening with them. There daughter would go two weeks with a bowl movement! So they finally took her to the doctor as they were really worried. They ended up suggesting suppositories. They did end up doing this once. She didn't like it. So from there on out if she refused to go for a couple of days they asked her if she wanted to go back to the doctors and have a suppository pushed in to her bum. Of course that was NO! She would go straight to the bathroom and poop on command! So this is how it went for them. I am surpised that you haven't gotten a ton of responses on this subject as it is very common. I am sorry that I don't have any other advice. Good luck!!

Hang in there....our son, (potty trained at 2, still not pooping in the potty at 2 and 9 months) refused to poop on the potty. Bribed didn't work, stickers didn work, watching mommy and daddy didn't work. 2 things did it for us....1 Daddy started getting lolly-pop every time he went poop on the potty (boy there was screaming over THAT), and 2. We went to Fair and he had to go poop. He didn't go that morning in his pull-up and was uncomfortable all day, crying and saying he had to go. I can't tell you how many times we went to the port-a-let (fun times) and we even took him to CVS drugs for a real potty. It was a miserable day and he finally went when we put him in a pullup to take a nap on the way home. The next day he went poop on the potty and has been pretty good about it every since (3 months). He still gets a lolly pop but we pretty much solved the problem when HE realized it was inconvenient not to go on the potty. Hang in there!!!!

My daughter just turned 3 and has only pooped in the potty a few times. I know exactly when she has to go but when I encourage her to hurry and get to the potty she looks depressed, says 'I'm sad' and goes away from wherever we are to fill her diaper. She will not poop if she is naked or has underwear but will go pee by herself. I have a friend that has a son aged 3 1/2 that can go all day in underwear but then asks for his pull-up when he needs to poop! He finds a quiet place in his room and goes and wants to be changed immediately. The Dr said some kids still like the closeness from the parents from needing to be changed...the attention, wiping. one-on-one time... I am sure all of these kids won't be going off to college in Pull-Ups, so don't worry. She will want to go in the potty in her time... Hang in there!

While I haven't personally been dealing with this milestone yet, i can offer you this tidbit for easing the evacuation process......ground flax seed (or flax seed oil) buy this supplement in the refrigerated section of your local healthfood store (maybe even Publix) and add in to foods that she already eats. It will act like an intestinal broom-not a laxative. The ground seed is easiest to "hide" in foods like yogurt w/ granola, or oatmeal, cereals, but you can also make fruit smoothies w/ fresh and/or frozen fruits and yogurt(preferably organic and only plain or vanilla w/ lowest sugar) w/ the oil or seed. Sometimes kids will get "traumatized" from the discomfort of being constipated too, which makes them hold it, which makes it worse!!! This treatment with the flax has worked for several friends, a co-worker., and a couple of clients too! Good Luck and please feel free to contact me if you need further clarification! L.

Consider dried fruit roll ups, Apricots (even dried),applesauce, and even a little benifiber sprinkled in ( my kids love it because it disappears and they cant see or taste it.

Consider allowing her to have a stash of pull ups at the potty to only put on when she has to defecate. She can put them on, sit on the pot, excrete in the pull up, and then help you clean her up. That way she is learning the task of going in the bathroom. When she is sure of her bowel function, the pull ups will eventually come off. She may have a fear that we don't think of. She sounds independent and will want to figure it out herself. Maybe something scary like the dirty water splashing up on her backside... You never know. But teaching the geographical stance and relaxation will help her in the long run. You are doing GREAT with letting her make choices and following her lead. I remember mumbling to my son, "one day you will need to choose to master this, because your girlfriends in high school aren't going to want to clean you up after this mess..." (laugh when you can right?)Hang in there, you are awesome!

some kids take longer than others. I would ask the pedi about it and see if there is anything you can do to hurry along the process..

I had the same problem with my oldest daughter. She had always had difficulty with her bowel movements. I potty trained her really early, she was in panties at eighteen months. It took two months to get her to poop on the pot. What I found with her was a fear that she was losing part of her body when she would see the poop come out into the potty. It isn't unusual for a young child to have fears about bathroom issues. I will say that when you are potty training a child one of the worst things you can do is put them in these pull ups for what I'll call the parents "lazy times." You are reinforcing whatever her fear is and letting her know if she continues the behavior you will give in and she'll get what she wants. Pull ups make a child feel comfortable when they potty in their pants. Get the plain old double crotch training pants and plastic cover pants and put the wet/dry pad on the mattress. She will eventually get tired of being uncomfortable and use the potty and it's a lot cheaper. It will be a little extra work for you right now but a lot less headaches in the future. I was unclear on what else she is drinking if you are only giving her juice once a day. Too much milk can be constipating. Hopefully you are offering plenty of water and not allowing sodas or drink boxes. She should have various fruit juices throughout the day. I used to slip a little prune juice into my daughter's juice and fiber on her cereal. One more little bit of advice, a child learns to eat whatever a parent offers, if she doesn't eat what she needs to move things along it's because you may have trained her not to. You must insist and do not offer her too many of the carb loaded foods kids seem to be addicted to. Again this will be difficult but better for you and her in the long run. She may throw some fits and refuse to eat but I promise you she will eat when she gets hungry. And don't worry, she won't starve herself! Best of luck to you. B

Don't worry too much..My girlfriend has a 6 year old son who wouldn't poop on the pot until he was 4 almost 5....He too would hold it in and she even once had to dig it out of him....Gross huh!!! He is fine now, eventually it will work itself out...I hear of this alot that pooping on the pot is the last thing your child will do..Hang in there....:)

Hi,

I agree with Amy's response. Because there are often fears associated with this (there was with my daughter too) I would try not to add more fear to solve the problem.

Unfortunately because I have not had this specific problem of withholding, I don't have any specific advice. My best wishes to you, though! I know that this too will pass. She just has to find a way to get comfortable with it.

I have 3 boys, all potty trained at about 2 1/2 very easily, but every single one of them pooped in a diaper for 3-4 months before they went poop in the potty. There were no accidents, they just came to me and told me they had to go poop so I could get a diaper or they brought me a diaper when they needed to go. Then one day each one decided that they were done with the diapers for poopies and that was that. So, trust me it is totally normal. I have numerous friends who have had the same occurance. So, relax, thank God you don't have to change more than one or two diapers a day, and she will get there. 3 is young for fully potty trained so count your blessings. If you truly think it is a medical problem call your pediatrician. Good luck!

L. -

My 3 yr old son won't poop in the potty either. He has no problem with telling us when he needs to pee, and I don't get it either. The only time he will tell us is if we are swimming in the pool (thankfuly) He wears underwear and tends to go poop just once a day - it just isn't consistent. It isn't until we walk into a room (he tends to go to one of our other kids rooms to play) and you can smell it. sometimes he will say yes, sometimes he will deny it. He knows he isn't suppose to go in his underwear, that he needs to go in the potty. He just doesn't want to. We have tried all kinds of rewards and nothing has worked, either.

S

Try buying thick traing panties, and plastic pants for bedtime. You don't want her to have an accident at night and soak her sheets, but maybe keeping panties on her at bad time as well will help. My oldest daughter was the opposite. She hated poop on her so she always pooped on the potty but we had a hard time with peeing. She liked to get naked as soon as I went into the bathroom to start her bath. I always made her sit on the potty while the tub was filling. The sound of the running water helps. I had a friend who put a potty chair in the living roon, not my cup of tea, but her daughter was affraid to miss something if she went in the bathroom. This helped her with potty training. Good Luck! You could also try letting her pick out a toy from the store, wrap it up and put it on the toilet. Tell her this is her big girl potty present. WHen she poops on the potty she gets to open it.

I understand your situation as I went through the EXACT same scenario with my daughter when she was 3(now 5). My friends suggested that I gave increasing amount of prunes and prune juice (extra fiber)daily and have her sit. Eventually, she would have to go. Well, in less than a week, she was going poop in the potty.

Good luck!

Have you tried placing the potty in front of the t.v.? Two of my 3 kids always get constipated and had a hard time because "it hurt going." The t.v. was a good way to distract them. I also bought the flushable wipes.
Good luck!