3 Year Old Sleep Issues

Hello A.,
I am the mother of 5 and grandmother of 8 so I have had my share of this issue. Have you considered throwing the blanket away and replacing it with a doll or a stuffed animal. Give her the new toy during the day so she will have time to bond with it. At bed time tell her to take her baby to bed. Tuck her covers in under the mattress so they will stay in place. She is old enough to understand if you tell her it is gone. Mommy can't find it. She may get upset if so I can assure you it won't be for long.

i cant speak from experience so maybe I shouldnt speak but when my son tried to develop waking up in the middle of the night issues. i told him to go to bed. i told him that nothing was wrong. i told him that he was big enough to get his own water, blanket, etc. and to go back to bed. i actually told him that he was being rude to wake us up. i told him i loved him, gave him a kiss and sent him back to bed. i tried to downplay it as much as possible. Granted with your child it may not work or it may not be the right answer but sometimes letting a child not get their way is the best answer. Good Luck.

I am going to be interested in what replies you get. I have an almost three year old and I still put her to sleep. Infact, I let her sleep with me often. It was Ok while my husband was working out of town, but I would like to have my "adult" bed back!

I know some of this is just a security thing. Do you talk to her about how she can redo her own covers when she wakes up? maybe practice it before and tell her what a big girl and how proud you are of her. make a big deal about how she can do it "be self".

When I had started moving my daughter into her own bed (before husband went on the road), that is what I did and it was working.... too bad I got weal and wanted her to cuddle with me in bed. I have to say, I love every little bit of being mom and most times don't mind being there for her.... even when I am miserably tired.

Blessed to be mom,
C. Hiebel
www.candlewealth.com/soy4u

That's a tough one. We moved 700+ miles when my 4 year old was 3, and it threw her whole sleep pattern off. If it's just a blanket issue, it may be best to listen to your mom's advice, but I would moderate it a little. With our daughter, we would just go in and tell her she needed to sleep then set our cell alarm for 30 minutes - spending no more than 2 minutes in there so she was minimally stimulated. It was easy for us to fall back asleep (despite the noise from the next room) because we knew the alarm would wake us up. After the first night, when the alarm went off, she was fast asleep. After 4 nights, she stopped waking up. And trust me, I know how sleep deprivation goes because we now have a 2 month old in the house. SLEEP IS PRECIOUS!!!

Hi A.,
I hear ya! I also have a three yr old who does the exact same thing. (She is the youngest of three and my older two never did this.) She's never really slept well...from birth. But I keep hoping...
There are some tactics that work here and there......I eliminate as much clutter from her bed as possible at bed time..just her, the cup with water and the blankie. Also...after dinner we walk and get moving so she tires easily come bed time and we take a warm bath. Sounds like a lot of work I know..but it seems like on the nights I follow through with those things she sleeps well!
Hope this helps.

Hey A.,
It seems like there are quite a few other children with the same things going on with the blankets, so my advice may be totally off base here. My daughter didn't really care about her blankets but she didn't sleep through the night until almost four. So I would suggest thinking of other things that may be causing her to wake. The blankets may be the only thing she can express and there may be some other issue. I found out that my daughter had other food allergies than the ones we were treating and the itching was waking her up every night three or four times a night. But at three years old she couldn't explain why she was up just that something needed fixing. She is four and a half and sleeps very well now. Good luck and remember they are only little for a short while. I know it seems like forever when you are so tired but she will outgrow this phase.
I also have a three year old daughter and she wanted to carry her full size blanket everywhere, so we made a mini replica that she can carry around and now she is more attached to it than the original, which is good because you need to be able to wash those big blankets too. And then I wasn't stuck helping her lug around a big blanket. I have also heard of people cutting pieces off of a blankie until it is small enough for kids to carry in their pocket, but I wouldn't worry about it until she is wanting to carry it to grade school. She's only three, let her be three. God Bless.
D.

I have experienced that with my oldest and my youngest up until recently, woke up regularily. The are 6 and 3 year old girls. Crying it out works for babies but now that they are older, they know what they want and actually ignoring them can make it worse for everyone.

Make sure the bed is up against the wall so the blanket can't fall off both sides. Try adding more blankets so she becomes less attached to one and then won't notice if one falls off. I found issues depending on the season. Try adjusted the temperature in her room to make sure she is not too cold or too hot.

A.,
First of all, I agree with many of the things other people have suggested so far. I've got a few other ideas you might try. I'm not a mom, but I am a pediatric occupational therapist who works with a lot of kids with sensory integration problems. I'm not saying that this is the case for your daughter, but sensory strategies can help all of us with regulating our bodies. For example, when I'm in the car driving a long distance and start getting sleepy, I might roll down the window and get a little breeze, or turn up my radio (maybe some fast upbeat music), or suck on a peppermint candy, or stop to stretch and walk around...maybe even jump up and down a few times. All these things tend to be alerting to our sensory systems. On the opposite end, you can try some calming strategies to help your daughter sleep. You could try some slow, soft music. Using lotions with calming scents like vanilla or lavender, you could give her a massage, or just rub her back. Deep pressure touch tends to be very calming for the sensory system. Sometimes light sheets are actually more alerting to kids...heavy blankets can be more calming. Another thing that has been helpful for some of the kids I work with is a weighted blanket (special blanket filled with poly pellets)...but this would really need to be recommended by an occupational therapist who has evaluated your child. Here's some more info on this: www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/weighted-blankets.html. You say your child has never slept well...are there other things going on? If there are other concerns, you might want to think about getting an OT evaluation. Look over this list and see if there are other issues: www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/SPD-symptom-checklist... Hope this is helpful!

I am having the same issue with my 2.5 yr old son. If you find any miraculous answers please share with me!!! I'm desperate.

hi A.,I just wanted to let you know,you are not alone in that situation.I am a military wife as well w/a little over 3yr old son.He wakes me up several times a night about his blankets not tucked in right or not covering him the right way or he wants to switch blankets.He even complains about his pillow.It drives me nuts and I feel I never get enough sleep.I suppose I've helped in creating a non stop problem because I give in & keep going in there,but I just want him to sleep.So I'm sorry I don't have any advice for you,but It's nice to know I'm not the only one. I hope eventually we all can break this horrible habit. Happy sleeping when possible. Take care,M.

I am in the middle of reading a book by Ferber called "Solve your Child's Sleep Problems" to help my 3 month old with sleep issues. In one of the chapters I just read he talks about how to get rid of night wakings even for older children. you might want to check it out. Best of luck!!

Well, from experience I have a blanket baby still at 5 yrs old, no he doesn't take it to school but he used to always carry it around it security and it's his. She's 3 yrs old give her a break at some point she will stop carrying the blanket trust me she will. As far as sleep well, it works different for everyone I tried the let them cry it out I lost even more sleep having to hear my kids cry the cry it out never worked at my house. No I don't spoil my kids but it's like this they are dependent upon you for everything for life so naturally she will come to you or cry for you to help her. Yes you lose sleep but the job we all signed up for with a contract is 24/7 and yes we all miss sleep. I'd fix her blankets and let her have her blanket in hand at this point in life. What you and us don't know is, is she having a bad dream??? many children do but can't really tell you about it. Is she just a light sleeper?? some kids are all their lives some change after they get a busy schedule with school as they get older. Is she getting some teeth in?? What is really making her uncomfortable??? Here's a thought maybe at nap time you can teach her to fix her own blanket just before she lays down and then get into a habit so she can start to learn on her own maybe she won't wake you up as much and you can tell her she's being a big girl now and she's does such a great job. That's all I've got but I do know as they get older it gets easier on this subject. Best of luck.

Hi! Congratulations on having two daughters (I do too). And, thank you so much to your family for being involved in our military. It can't be easy.

So, about blankets. My girls both went through "perfect blanket" syndrome although it was just the blanket on their beds or books in them or toys. I had enough too so I just told them "This is the last time I'm fixing this." and I stuck to it. I would only go in once BEFORE I went to sleep if they called me for help. I believe this is a phase. I also believe that if you refuse to disturb yourself to help them deal with something they can do themselves, you'll be fixing blankets for a very long time!

Bottom line, set a boundary with her about the blanket. You can do it lovingly and firmly. Then, no matter what, don't go back in there!

Good luck!

S.

A.,

I know the feeling my three almost four year old still calls me during the night. I have placed a CD player in her room with soft music and it seems to be working, try it. Good luck.

i agree w/ the 1st advice giver. I have 3,4,&6 yr olds. they all have favorite blankies they sleep with. If you stick to your plan and let her work it out herself life for you both will get better. If you're getting up twice a night to help her that means she's taking the extra effort & isn't getting as much sleep as she could either. It may take 2 or more nights to get her used to it, but you really haven't slept for 3 yrs anyway right? so, give it a try for a week and definatly sit down in quiet place and speak w/ her about it. Good luck and good night :)

Hi A., I have a 3 year old daughter who went through a phase of waking up in the middle of the night asking for her blanket and to fix her covers (I thought my daughter was the only child around who did this). I don't have any suggestions on how to make her stop because I think it's something that she will grow out of eventually but I just wanted you to know that you are not alone. It seems like they go through many different phases and as soon as your ready to lose your mind they quit doing it. At one point my daughter would wake up every night asking for milk. It was crazy! Hang in there I know it will get better! To try and limit the blanket attachment, I make her leave it at home and she can only have it around the house and at night. You might try that and see if it helps a bit. Hope some of this helps!
L.

Dear A., I know each day you are sleep deprived seems to last forever and the end is no where in sight. But as a 53 yr old whos 4 kids are grown and gone, I long for the days when I had to get up with my youngest every night and take him to the bathroom, or he would pee his bed. He was 3. The time goes by and she will sleep better and better. Let her have the blanket, maybe she'll have it forever, maybe she'll leave it behind next week. All that really matters is that you love her and appreciate the fact that right now, she is all yours and loves only you and her family. Soon, all too soon, that will all change, and she will belong to the world.
You are at the best time of your life, be happy, catch a nap when you can, and look at those beautiful smiling faces that look at you with unconditional love and feel satisfied, good luck! Best wishes... L.

My grandson has a similar request regarding his cup that he wakes up and ask for in the middle of the night. We just keep it close at hand and my daughter even keeps juice available so that we can replenish if need be. At this point you have to do what you have to do. I can remember carrying around a blanket and cried when my mother washed it. During these formative years its really not about us but about keeping them satisfied and their needs met until they grow out of their safety nets. These are what we will come to cherish as precious memories as the years fly by, then it will change from "mom fix my covers to mom come with me to purchase linens for my new home". Then we will wonder where did the years go? Dont look at it as an inconvenience, but a priviledge to make that baby comfortable. She's depending on you!

I have to agree with your mother. It might be worth a couple of nights of less sleep to get her to stop waking you up. I think three is old enough for her to be sat down and talked to about how important it is for you to get a full night's sleep and how it's not acceptable for her to wake you for those reasons. It's also old enough to arrange her own blankets and find her own blankie. My five and six year old still sleep with a favorite blankie and I don't have any problem with that. Maybe you and she can decide on a plan for getting through the night without waking you up... maybe a new nightlight or stuffed animal to help get her through. maybe she can get an award for making it though... maybe stickers and then after so many days she gets a little toy. good luck.