3 1/2 Year Old Suddenly Occasionally Not Using the Potty

L., this isn't unusual. Consider it a part of the whole potty training process. Most kids have relapses along the way. My guess is that she will get past this stage. I think that punishing your little girl will result in her regressing even more, so I'm glad to read that you aren't going that route. It is frustrating, isn't it? But it's all a part of early development. Now, if it reaches a point where you feel something more is going on, please check with your daughter's doctor. For now, though, I'd just go with the flow (no pun intended!). Good luck to you.

I recently read about a similar situation in a book I'm reading called Parents, kids, and power struggles - you might want to check this book out. This book is fantastic and talks about kids acting out when they have emotions that they don't know how to deal with, including anger, fear, sadness, etc. They often don't know how to appropriately express their emotions. Look for patterns - does she do it when she's feeling something, or needing attention? Hope this helps

Hey L.-
I agree with your other responses... this is very typical. Love & Logic type natural consequences are good. I also agree about the bladder infection. One of my daughters never has accidents unless she has an infection.

I wouldn't stress too much, I know that is easier said then done. My youngsters each had their own "accidents" that were not so accidental. It can be the simplist thing, maybe a toy that is now missing, someone taking time that is percieved as hers, change in laundry soap can cause irritation and they will sometimes just hold it too long when they are in their "safe zone".

I had one son who was used to having his juice and crackers at approximately the same time every day. Well his brother needed to be picked up from swimming at about that time during lessons, it only made a difference of about 20 minutes, but that rocked my tikes boat just enough for him to act out by wetting. It was a hard one to figure out but we ended up having juice and crackers during my other son's pick up and that fixed it.

I hope you solve the mystery.

I would suggest no harsh punishments. Our daughter 4yrs in May just had a little regressing a few weeks ago (she has been daytime trained since Oct 06'); we had about 7 accidents in a week...I think it is partially due to stress as we were just in a car accident and then we left for vacation. But all is well now, we did no punishment we actually stuck to praises on how well she has done...etc.

I do hope she gets through this stage soon for both of your sakes!

You might want to take your daughter to the dr and make sure doesn't have a bladder/UTI infection. That will make it hard to control things consistently. Also, for toddlers, consequences should occur at the time of the inappropriate behavior. Their minds don't always make the connection when there's a time delay. It makes sense for you, but not for them. Also she could be so engrossed in what she's doing that she doesn't have time to get to the bathroom. So reminders during the day are apppropriate. But get her to the dr just to be sure there's not an infection playing havoc with her bladder, etc.

Hi L.,

My son did the same exact thing for a while, and it is perfectly normal. He would do it when he was outside playing and he would just be too busy to come in and use the potty until it was too late. We just went back to the basics of toilet training and started getting him to go before he went outside, and asking him more often if he had to go, and let him run around naked again until he just outgrew the phase. It didn't take too long. My daughter is now coming up on that age so it will be interesting to see if she does the same thing. She just turned 3 and has been potty trained since she was about 20 months. Letting both of my children go naked was really was helpful in toilet training because they would see themselves start to pee and run for the potty. But I did have to clean up a little pee lol. I hope this helps a little bit. It probably won't take long for her to be back on schedule.

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