Tips for Potty Training a 2 Yr Old Girl?????

Updated on April 08, 2008
L.W. asks from Kansas City, MO
39 answers

I've been working w/ my daughter on potty training her since she was about 19months old. She used to go whenever I would put her on the potty and just smile. Now since she has turned 2 she's not thinking it's much fun anymore and simply wont go. When I put her on the potty she just sits there! By the way she just turned 2 and we're already playing survival of the fittest:) So I'm not sure if she is just trying to show me that she doesnt have to go because she doesn't want to or because I want her to go? Any suggestions on how to make this eaiser on both of us :)

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K.P.

answers from Topeka on

My mother once told me to never try to potty train in the winter. The cold weather causes havoc. I have 2 boys and avoid winter pottying and never had trouble potty training!!!

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J.T.

answers from Cedar Rapids on

With my daughter we took her to Wal-Mart and let her pick out "pretty big girl underware" and we got her the Dora toilet seat to put on the big potty. It seemed to work well until I had another baby at which time she went back into diapers for about 2 months and then we started to bribe her with 1 peanut M&M if she used the big potty. Good luck.

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A.G.

answers from Wichita on

There is a book that you can get off of the internet called the 3 Day Potty Training book. I bought it and trained my son in 2 days. We are on week 4 and he has only had 3 or 4 accidents. That includes night time accidents. It works!

A.

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J.R.

answers from Lafayette on

everything ive read says the more you push the more they push back. My 3yo little girls has a passing interest....no interest in the potty but hates being "messy", but if that means she mischieviously takes her clothes of then potties in the bathtub or on the floor next to the toilet she feels shes done her deed. I figure as long as its not the carpet and im not sending her to high school in diapers I wont worry much about it lol.

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M.H.

answers from Kansas City on

My oldest daughter started going potty on the potty around the same age. She was completely potty trained by 26 months but she did the same thing to me at about the same age as your daughter. I just continued to put her on the potty in 30 minute intervals. We had a little trouble going #2. She would say she needed to go and when I would put her on the toilet she would say that she wanted her diaper on. When I would do that she would then go #2 in her diaper. The way I dealt with her on that issue was I would make her sit there until she went. It took a couple battles before she finally realized that it wasn't a big deal! I also rewarded her with new princess panties. She LOVED them and we have never had an issue with accidents! I hoped this helped! Stick with it and Good Luck!

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B.I.

answers from St. Louis on

I have a one and a half year old, who is also potty training. The best advice is to stay calm. We bought our little girl what we call "Pretty Panties" they have prinesses on them and she loves them, she gets really upset when she has an accident in them. Also they are easy for her to pull up and down. Also try running the bath water when you are in the bathroom, that normally gets my daughter to go while she is sitting on the potty.

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J.B.

answers from Kansas City on

Yikes! I have the exact same problem! Around 18 mos my daughter started wanting to sit on the potty (we were not pushing her at all) and she had a long time where she told us each time she needed to go and had no accidents. One day, she missed bubble time at her gym class because we were in the potty. You should have seen her face when she realized what happened. Now sitting on the potty is a HUGE upsetting ordeal. I don't really care, because I don't know any adults that aren't potty trained...so I'm sure it will come. At the same time, it's a little frustrating because, like you, I know she can do it. Thanks everyone for responses! Glad to see someone else in the same boat.

One thing I have noticed recently - she still wants to sit on the potty when we're out: restaurants, stores, etc. Maybe that's my way back 'in?'

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M.M.

answers from Kansas City on

Two words for you, L.--POWER STRUGGLE. Your daughter can control 2 things in her life --eating and pottying. WE had to give our son some "control time" ... a time in the day (about 20 min.) when he was playing when he had control over us. Basic rules apply --no one gets hurt, nothing is destroyed, etc. But, he got to tell us what to do --completely. He told us where to put the next LEGO, etc. Once he got some control in his life, he gave up the struggle over pottying. It's worth a try.

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N.P.

answers from Kansas City on

Put here back in pull-ups and wait until she is ready! Trust me on this. I have 3 and just trained my last one (just turned 3)! My first 2 boys were trained by 2 1/2 and my daughter wasn't quite ready then. It will be SO much easier on both of you when you wait until she give you the cues that she is ready!

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K.Z.

answers from Topeka on

I am going through this right now. My 2 year old started showing intrest early. I thought oh wow she is going to be potty trained early, but she is not really there yet. I don't push her. I ask her if she wants to use the potty unless she is wearing panties then I bribe her with M&Ms. I don't think they really get it until 3. That at least is what happened for my 4 year old. My 2 year old always does #2 on the potty on her own. When it comes to pee she has accidents. Give your little one a break then come back to it. She may be more willing after the break. If you try to push it it can be stressful for you and her. She will get it, but on her time. Good Luck!!

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S.G.

answers from St. Louis on

My oldest daughter was the same. I knew she could go on the potty but she just refused to. I bought her her favorite underwear, I gave her treats when she did go on the potty, but nothing seemed to keep it going long term. I know they say not to push, but when you know they can do it, it is very frustrating not to keep encouraging them to do it. Finally, I just kind of gave up, then her Parents as Teachers Educator came over and I was telling her that my daughter just decided she didn't want to be a big girl and go on the potty. The Parent Educator said something like "You don't want to go potty on the big girl potty anymore and you don't want to wear big girl underwear?" and that was it. My daughter started going on the potty and had very few accidents ever again. I don't know what it was about the Parent Educator's comment, but it worked. It was likely that it just wasn't coming from me. She is strong-willed and we butt heads frequently over everything imaginable and she is only six. I'm not looking forward to her teenage years. I have to say though that my other two children were easier to potty train. It might have been that I had less time to focus on making sure they always went on the potty or it could have just been that they had an older sibling that they wanted to be like. My second daughter chose to potty train completely on her own. I was getting out some of her sister's hand-me-down clothes and she found the big girl underwear and she wanted to wear them. I told her she could but that she would have to go on the potty all the time, and she did! She has had more frequent accidents than her sister, I think partially because she trained herself so early (she was completely potty trained by 26 months), but she was definitely easier than my oldest! Hope this helps and good luck to you!

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K.J.

answers from Wichita on

I say leave her alone about it. Do not pressure her at all. She will go when she is ready to not when you are ready. My 7 year old daughter was very easy to train. It could have been just luck or the fact that I never pressured her. I would ask her if she had to go and take her when she wanted to go. If she had an accident I would not make her feel bad. I would say it was okay and next time she will go on the potty. Most kids are not ready for training until they are two. She was fully potty trained by 27 months. I started reading a book to her (Once Upon a Potty for Girls) about it at 18 months and introduced the potty chair to her.

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M.M.

answers from Wichita on

Try rewarding her with stickers on a calendar and on her outfit or a favorite fruit snack or going to the playground. Remember it has to be right away because two year olds usually have a short attention span and after while won't be reward enough.

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K.M.

answers from St. Louis on

Nothing "helpful" here except to say, relax she'll do it when she's ready. My daughter was the same way. At first she was excited and wanted to do it and I thought, "this is gonna be easy," but then suddenly, nothing. I tried everything including bribery :)!! For nearly a year I felt like pulling my hair out, and embarrasment when all the other little ones were potty training quite successfully, but my daughter just had NO interest. Finally, at 3 1/2 she decided she wanted to use the potty and within ONE WEEK she was totally potty trained! Even at night! No accidents, nothing! Looking back I wish I'd just relaxed and not been so concerned, but that's easier said than done I know! So, sorry I can't be of more HELP except to say don't worry about it, the more you push the less she'll want to use the potty, and remember... she won't be going to kindergarten in diapers :)

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A.B.

answers from St. Louis on

I used a "treat bag" for my daughter when she was potty training and it worked like a charm! I had a fun looking gift bag filled with little cheap toys or jewlery, fruit snacks or crackers, and coloring books and sticker pages. When she went Pee-pee she could have a little toy or snack. If she did #2 she could choose something bigger like the coloring book or sticker page. She loved going potty on the potty chair! GOOD LUCK!

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J.S.

answers from St. Louis on

I would just let it go and when she is ready she will do it on her own. I have a three year old son and I would drive myself crazy trying to get him to go potty. I talked to his Dr. and he said that you cannot make a child go they will just do it when they are good and ready.He was not kidding because as soon as I gave up on the whole idea he started wanting to go in the potty. He has now been potty trained for three weeks and three days! YEA!
Best of luck to you!

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C.S.

answers from St. Louis on

Laura,

Dont stress, each child does it when they are ready. Yes, she's probably giving you a run for your money, but dont give up. My daughter was three until she finally got it all the way. She started on the pot at 18months. So, dont put pull-ups out of the budget. Try underwear at home and pull-ups when you go out so if she has an accident it wont shut down your whole event. Always have a back up plan. I tried candy rewards, I tried telling her if you potty train you will get a present, tried almost everything. They are learning about the urge to pee and the urge to be in control of what they want to do. Shoot sometimes lizzy was too busy playing to stop and go potty. She's two so dont stress!!
Good Luck!!

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K.L.

answers from Kansas City on

When I was potty training my daughter I let her go to the store and pick out her own BIG GIRL underwear and made it a point that she did not want to potty on her princess panties. Then everytime she went like a big girl she got to pick a treat out of a treat bag. It worked try it!!!!

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J.J.

answers from Stationed Overseas on

Really my best advice is to not push her. Kids are stubborn and trying to make her will only stress you out more. My mom always swore that I was walking and potty trained by 18 months. I had envisioned that with my own daughter. However I learned quickly that wasn't going to happen. So I just stopped trying to force her and then when she turned three it was like a switch flipped in her. She watched one of her friends go and the next day she told me she had to go potty and she did and has been ever since.

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N.C.

answers from St. Joseph on

My daughter is 19 months and if you find out anything good I would love to hear. I am trying to decide how to do it. I feel like it is my first time. I have a son and potty trained him in a hurry because I was having our daughter. So if you could give me some advise I would love to hear it.

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D.M.

answers from Wichita on

My children are grown, so I am more old fashioned, but I trained my four daughters and my niece by buying them the prettiest panties I could find, and the ugliest training pants I could find (the old, thick, ugly things). I explained that when they used the bathroom they wore pretty panties and if they wet them they wore "UGLY" panties. All five of these girls were accident free in three days or less. When my son came along, I did the same thing with undies that had cars, sports, etc, and "ugly" training pants. He was trained in ONE day!!
The big thing is to really play up the Pretty!!! And don't make it a punishment when they have an accident, just an, "Oh, no, now you have to wear these ugly panties."
I have recommended this to my friends, and my own children with their kids. If the child is ready, it works.
You have to remember that with children you pick your battles. Potty training should NEVER be a battle, because the child is the one with the ammunition, and will win!
Good Luck!

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D.W.

answers from St. Joseph on

potty training...The most important advice is relax, they do it when they want to and not a minute before. Also they physically have to have a bladder that is large enough and in control of itself before they can be successful. My oldest daughter was about 2 and started to show interest in pottying we tried buying big girls pants and making a big deal of it, with little success. After changing clothes 5 times in two hours, it was back to pullups. Finally, we used a reward system my mom bought a little stamp set with bears on it. If she used the potty she could chose a stamp for her hand or 5 m&m's.If she had an accident she knew that she didn't get either. I started taking her to potty about 15-20 min after drinking anything and at least once every hour or so and eventually it all worked. She really liked to be able to chose her reward for being a "big girl".

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S.Z.

answers from St. Louis on

Unfortunately, it is up to them when they want to be potty trained. It is usually two steps forward and one step back. It is normal for them not to be completely potty trained until they are atleast three. Don't rush her. Several times a day take her into the bathroom and read a small book to her when she is on the potty. You've shown her what to do now it is up to her to do it. I use to work in a preschool and usually when they start getting around other children that are potty trained they will change their mind about it. They don't want to be the only ones messing in their diapers. We took them in to preschool at age three. Hope this helps.

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N.R.

answers from St. Louis on

The best thing I can tell you is to just leave her alone with it. I made a BIG deal out of it with my oldest and it was a nightmare for both of us. With my other 2 I just left them alone. I would say oh lets go sit on the potty, I would put them on the potty before bath, before bed but never made a big deal out of it. All you really have to do is introduce it to them and talk about the way to wash their hands afterwards. Sometimes I would have my 2nd child sit on the potty while I was in the bath or shower and we would sing songs or just talk while she sat there. But I never made the mistake I did with my first...I never pushed her, she never got in trouble for not peeing in the potty or having accidents in her pants...neither did my son. Both of them were potty trained before my 1st child was...
Goodluck, Don't rush it and don't stress about it...
=)

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M.N.

answers from St. Louis on

She is resisting because You are more ready than she is, give her time, she will come into her own when she is ready. The best approach with potty-training is the least resistance will provide the most success.
Good Luck---oh and some people swear by the book that "potty trains children in three days"--it does not work for all personality types though, especially the strong-willed child.
God-speed, M.

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A.G.

answers from St. Louis on

If it doesn't seem like she is interested, I wouldn't force the issue. But I will let you know something that worked for us. My daughter turned 2 in December and in the April following her b-day we had a one day potty training session. My sister in law read about this in a book and it seemed to work pretty good. For one full day, you have her sit on the potty every 10 minutes, no matter if she has to go or not. We also had a little notebook and each time she did go potty, we would let her pick a sticker and put in her notebook. She has been going on the potty ever since! Of course we have accidents now and then, but that is to be expected! I hope this helps!

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J.C.

answers from Kansas City on

Wow you started early! I just recently potty trained my daughter she just turned 3. Not that I didn't try earlier and gave up. But this is what I just recently did. We said "good-bye" to pull ups they were becoming a security for her. I would take her to the potty all the time and she wouldn't go, but minutes later she would go in the pull up. I took an entire weekend without going anywhere and dedicated it to potty-training. We started the day making a potty than we put on "big girl" panties of her choice ie.... Dora the Explorer, Little Mermaid etc.... the first day she had about 3 wetting accidents. I made her take her wet pants off herself, take them to the laundry and get new underwear and pants. She didn't like it too much. The 2nd day she had two accidents and I did the same, without getting upset, just saying maybe you'll do better next time. By the end of the weekend she was learning to hold her pee longer and she wasn't having any wee wee accidents. She is now fully pottytrained except at night I still put on a pull up. Now for #2's it's a different story, we are still working on that one. She did tell me she had to go potty and made a poo poo for me in the toilet assuming she was done we wiped and I praised her and gave her a "special treat" unfortunately about 5 minutes later she finished the job in her pants without telling me. If you think you're daughter is old enough to understand the concept that you might try what I did. I have two older sons 6 & 5 and I thought they were easier to train. To date I have found that pottytraining has been the worst experience of parenting. Good Luck---J. C

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C.B.

answers from St. Louis on

Unfortunately you can't force her. The more you push the more she'll resist. Just let her decide for herself when she's ready. My now 9 and 6 year old daughters potty trained themselves by the age of 3. My 3 1/2 year old son could care less. Seriously doesn't even want to try. I tried to put him into underwear, he ran through 12 pairs in one day. So when he's ready, he'll be ready, but its not right now.

She'll tell you when she's wanting to do it. And it will be suddenly one day she'll decide. Its how my daughters did it. And trust me, having a kid potty trained is more work when you're out and about. So make it easy on yourself.

Good luck!

C.
Mom to Lily (4/98) Caroline (4/01) Samuel (7/04)

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C.O.

answers from St. Louis on

Is there a reason she needs to be potty trained so soon? If so, set a date and put her in panties and don't ever use another diaper or pull-up. We sent our daughter to a montessori school starting at age 2.5. They don't do diapers but they deal with messes. We had no clue how to potty train. They said put her in panties and clean up the messes. It worked like a charm. She was trained in 1 week. It is VERY important not to make a big deal out of accidents. The discomfort of being wet helps them learn. Pullups at night only train kids to not respond to the need to use the bathroom. Good Luck!

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T.C.

answers from Kansas City on

I'd back off a little bit for a while. I know that everyone says potty train at 2, but in reality, most kids are a little older when the actual training happens. My daughter was 3 when she was trained, and it was really easy. I tried pushing it sooner, and it was terrible. I think the novelty of the potty is apealing to kids before their bladders are necessarily ready to have that control. I wouldn't stress out over it, and give it a shot again in a month or two.

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M.B.

answers from St. Louis on

Hello. I have a 3 year old sone and a 4 month old son. We went through the same thing with our oldest. THere was a period of a few weeks maybe even longer where he refused to even go into the bathroom. We tried rewarding him, 1 m'n'm for trying and 3 for going, but that wore off after time. Eventually he just decided one weekend that he wanted to go on the potty. We put big boy underwear on him and it only took one accident to motivate him to go on the potty. I think she'll do it when she's ready.

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D.F.

answers from St. Louis on

I promise whe will not be walking down the aisle in diapers...lol Kids take their own sweet time when it comes to potty training. They do it on their terms unfortunately..be patient she will understand probably within the next few weeks that this is what she is to do. We made the mistake of rewarding with M&Ms, it worked but every time they went to the bathroom for a little while they asked for candy...
I personally think positive reinforcement works just as well.. The little charts on the back of the bathroom door are always fun. Put a star on the chart evertime she goes potty...silver for pee and gold for Poo.
The important thing is not to over stress, it may be closer to the age of 3 before she is ready. Some kids take longer.
Good luck
Deb

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M.L.

answers from St. Louis on

sometimes if you play a little psycology it works. I would let her see you go and then reward yourself for going. Then tell her she can get a reward if she is a big girl and goes like a big girl on the potty. teach her the saying Im a big kid now.....and say it when she goes. other than that she will go when she is ready and sometimes the forcing does make them do the oppossite.
i ran across a great idea today after I already sent this...put a sticker book on the frig or in the bathroom back of the door and each time she goes she gets to add a sticker after so many she gets to pick out a new toy or place to go...ie, zoo, park Mcdonalds.
Good Luck...

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S.W.

answers from Kansas City on

When potty training my granddaughter (around 2 years old) we bought special big girl treats that she only got when she pottied like a "big girl". This worked well with her because she was the only one getting these treats. Sometimes when she really wanted more of the treats she would go potty twice in a matter of minutes. Good luck to you.

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L.J.

answers from Topeka on

Hi L.! I have a little boy that just turned 3 and we had quite the struggle with potty training. He's now doing great with it and goes on his own. I started him at about 18 months hoping he would be well on his way by the time his little sister arrived. Well, little sister has now arrived and is 16 months old herself. I'm not telling you this to discourage you, but so that maybe you can learn from my mistakes. I had my son in pull-ups the whole time and he would go fairly often to the potty if I or my husband took him, but wouldn't go on his own. I chalk that up to the pull-ups being just a simpler diaper. They are totally worthless after about 3 weeks. I can't believe I didn't figure that out sooner. Actually I may have figured that out, but I don't think I was ready to deal with cleaning out real underwear with extremely real poop in them. I tried and nearly threw up cleaning them out fairly early on. That was my own weakness - not my sons. One day I just decided enough was enough and he was going to wear underwear come hell or high water and I would just deal with it. That was what finally worked. My son finally realized it was terrible to be wet or messy in underwear and only had a few major accidents. I did have to keep a close eye on him for the first month or so, but now he's on his own and doing great. I hope this helps. Good Luck!

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M.P.

answers from Topeka on

I think everyone has some really great advice. My daughter is about to turn 3 and still has an occasional accident. I however, am a little old-fashioned about pull-ups. To me they are a diaper, so I never used them. She recently started regressing and telling me there was a monster in the big potty so I had to get the little potty back out. Just let her go at her own pace and she'll get back in the swing of things. Regression is normal, so I am learning. My son was potty trained in 2 weeks a month after his 2d birthday and never regressed. It get's frustrating but they eventually get it. There are also some potty training classes and books. Good luck and don't sweat it!!!!

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E.M.

answers from Lawrence on

If you have friends with kids who are the same age or younger that are already potty trained, have them come over and use your bathroom. Peer pressure works. It did for us. We also used tic tacs, before the peer pressure thing, and that had good results too.

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L.T.

answers from Springfield on

Hello, I am a stay at home young mother of 2 girls! My oldest is 4. I got her potty trained at 18 mo. What I did was, I put a clear "candy jar" in the bathroom. The "candy" was things like Graduates juicy treats or any healthy snack your child likes. I would find her wanting to go in the bathroom just for the snacks. I then would explain to her that she had to potty then she would get one of her snacks! It worked for us and was very painless and took no time at all! Good luck!

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J.J.

answers from Kansas City on

we had the best luck just not dressing her, she would panic and run to the bathroom...we also just stopped putting diapers on her, she didn't like feeling wet. but the naked thing worked the best!

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