2Yo Was Sweet infant...no Longer

N. -

Much of his behavior is likely due to lack of sleep. My daughter went though a similar situation at 2.5. This might help with the sleeping problems. At 2.5 we decided that it was time to put our daughter into a big girl bed. We were expecting our second child and needed her crib. However, we made it a big deal. We redecorated her room completely. New furniture, new paint, brought some of her toys from the playroom and set them up in her room, hung her dress up clothes up in a place where she could reach it, etc. We made sure that she knew that it was because she was a big girl now and thus, she had to act like one. She loves her room! She loves her bed and only wants to sleep in it.

You may also need to set up a new bedtime routine: bath, dress, potty, read book, give goodnight kisses, and talk about dreaming, then walk out of room letting him know you will check on him in 10 minutes.

We have and are still going through the tantrum stage with our daughter. She is 3 now as of last month. We use timeouts a lot. One of the things i try to do with her in timeout is sit down with her and discuss why she is acting the way she is and explain that it is inappropriate or a bad choice to make to do what she is doing. If you do this in his terms so he can understand it, then it seems to work.

Just a couple ideas. Good luck! Know that you are not the only one out there.

Oh honey I feel your pain! And not to discourage you but mine got worse when he turned three. As far as I know its very typical for a child to behave this way during the 2's and 3's. We have tried some Love and Logic (book) tools and they have helped. Good luck!

Be constant with the way you displince. I found the best way to deal with a temper tantrum is to ignore it and when possible put him in his room during the tantrum. It wokrs though it takes time in seeing the results. For derict defance a swat or flick the ear, or time-out works depending on the natural of the child, if the child seems to have a temper time-out works best. For hitting, kicking, and biting time-outs works great. To stop some of the nos give him choices like between wearing the green or blue shirt, or to have a PBJ snadwich or a grilled cheese sandwich and once he makes a dicision make him stick to it. Let him cry himslef asleep in his crib, I know it's hard and it well take a bit; all you will be better for it. Also have a constant bedtime runtine.

Welcome to terrible two’s. He may be having an issue with his bed if you are disciplining him there. It may be causing confusion. I would have to say be consistent with the discipline. He is working his newly found talents of pushing until he gets what he wants and the attention it brings by being naughty. I found with my two boys that are 4 and 2 that the more time I spend with them reading or playing games the less they are naughty for attention. I do have three young boys and work from home so that isn’t always easy but we try.

You have some great responses here! I can totally relate to you! My daughter is almost 3 and has displayed simimar behavior.
I just have two things to add.
1) Make sure you spend plenty of quality time with your son when he is acting sweet! Play what he wants to play, get down on his level and really interact with him when he is being appropriate. I am reading The Five Love Languages for Kids and the authors point out that it's much easier to discipline a child when they feel loved. Of course, you love your son, but he may not always feel loved during this challenging time in his life. If my daughter is having a drawn out tantrum, I will tell her, "You aren't acting sweet right now. I want to be around you when you are sweet" and I walk in the other room.

2) on the lack of sleep issue: Our daughter never tried to sleep with us until she was about 2 1/2 and we moved to a new house. She would come in and was very active in bed. I didn't feel like either of us were getting much sleep. So, our doctor suggested making a spot for her in our room. She goes to sleep in her room every night, but sometime late at night or early in the morning, she comes into our room and lays down on her spot and sleeps until she is ready to get up in the morning. This has been a good compromise that allows us all to get the sleep we need and will be easier to transition her out of then if we allowed her to sleep in our bed.

I also want to say that I also found the book Love and Logic Magic for the Early Years VERY helpful!!!

Best of luck!!!!!!

You are so not alone in this! You completely described my daughter. Perfect angel as a baby, then total terrible two! It helped me to remember that when two year olds act out, they're just curious and frustrated and trying to figure out their world. It will help to talk to him and help him discover things, put names to feelings and thoughts, and figure out how things work. Try puzzles, matching games, anything that works their little brain. It will pass!!

N.,

My son did more of this at three than two, but add in talking back to the mix as well. He may be acting out because he wants more freedom. Start letting him make choices about his clothes, it's a fairly benign area. Give him a choice of two different shirts/pants/socks etc. Don't be afraid to let him go out in public in polka-dots and plaid. It was HIS choice, praise him for good choices.

Definitely give voice to his emotions. If he's playing with a toy, say a shape sorter, and suddenly screams and throws it across the room, be his voice, "I'm so frustrated that I can't get this to work right". He's also testing his boundaries right now. Be consistent, be firm. He will eventually get the clue, then start talking back and open a new can of worms. :)

As for the sleeping in his bed thing, try the Super Nanny Back to Bed routine. Do your normal bed time routine and put him in bed. The first time he gets up tell him "It's bed time sweetie (or whatever endearment you use)", the second time he gets up tell him, "It's bed time", the third and consecutive times say nothing and just put him back in bed. I've seen this work on the show, and the first time this routine is enacted it is a battle of wills that can last up to three hours sometimes. Be firm and let him know who's the boss, and it's not him. :)

Hope this helps,
Melissa