Infant 2Nd Baby Shower?

I agree with most of the ladies. Have a celebration, but setting up a registry and asking for gifts is kind of bad etiquette. If people happen to bring a gift, then so be it, but I don't think it's been long enough to ask for more.
Make sure you don't word the invitations with "shower" if it is indeed just a party to celebrate the impending arrival.

My friend has 2 little girls close together in age, but we still wanted to do something to celebrate the new baby just like we had the first. So her mom threw her a "sprinkle" with just a few of her closest family and friends (ie, no aunts you hardly talk to, only people who truly want to celebrate the baby and wont think you're "begging for gifts").

Everyone commented on what a great idea it was!

I personally wouldn't want a shower in that situation. I think it might just be because it's out of the norm. If there were a five+ year difference or if you knew she was having the opposite sex or twins then I'd be ok with someone giving me another shower, but with my daughter being three, I'd still have everything I need for the most part. However, I think it would be nice to see how your friend would feel about a "shower" after the baby's born. My MIL's friend did that for me after my first one so that women from my MIL's Bible study who weren't included in the actual shower got to meet the baby. One of the women bought a small book shelf and they had all the ladies bring a book for the baby. Maybe do something like that after the baby. Or, if you prefer to do something before, I'd suggest a diaper shower because you know she's going to need those!

Today, there are no "proper" way to do baby showers, birthday parties, weddings, etc.

Every child and mother deserves a celebration! Should it be as elaborate as the first? That's up to you. Mom may already have many of the items and clothes from her first child, so maybe a diaper baby shower will work. These are always fun! Mom can register for just the items she needs and that can be added to the invitation. No matter how the gifts are decided, fun games and tasty foods are always a hit. This is a time to celebrate the upcoming baby, whether it's the first or fifth! Each child is just as special. Do what you and your friend feel is right for her. I would certainly be sure to have the invitation emphasize that this is a celebration of a child. After all, what makes one child more important than other?

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/HarrisburgPAChat

S.,
Wow I'm surprised at her friends reactions. I'm sure their stroller and car seats need replacing as well as other baby things needed. Diapers, diaper bag, maybe a double stroller now that she will have 2. Not only that but just because it's their second does not mean that baby does not mean as much as the first, or thirs, or forth. Each child is special and unique and should be celebrated.
Just my opion. I have 3 and each one is special and unique.Its nice to try to treat each child the same, or much as you can.

Your friends and family are not wrong. Normally, it is not done. I think that it is assumed that after the first one, the parents already have everything they need. But I don't think it is wrong. My sister-in-law had three showers. I don't see anything wrong with it. If you want to give your friend a shower, then do it.

I'm originally from Alabama and we threw baby showers all the time. It didn't matter if it was their 3rd or 4th baby! I think the mother-to-be would appreciate it. I've had 3 babies and had a baby shower for each one. Who cares about it being "proper"? It's a wonderful gesture. Babies are supposed to celebrated anyway...Besides, since they've already had one baby, chances are that money's not quite what it was before and a little help with baby gifts is always welcome.

I think every baby deserves a shower. I think it is the old way of thinking that it is improper to have a shower for each child. My Mom didnt have a shower for me with my second becuase her theory was that if people are going to buy something for the baby they would even if we didnt have a shower. Needless to say no one bought us anything for him. which would have been fine but we had gotten rid of a lot of the babys stuff we had due to lack of storage space. Anyway, I say you should have it .

In our church we have a shower for each child that is born. I have had one for all 4 of my kids. It'a a great way to just get out and socialize! We typically wait until the baby is born. It's more fun with the baby! Also if they don't know what they are having makes it easier as well. Don't worry about time line either. We've done them a 1-2 months after the baby was born and it's always been great!

How wonderful you want to celebrate with her. Every life is a gift and should be celebrated. In our family, we try not to take for granted a baby will be born healthy and celebrate each new one that comes along. I agree with the moms gifts or somehow making it clear it's a celebration and not a solicitation for gifts the naysayers may back off. Good luck!

I think its absolutely fine to have a second babyshower. I'm 5 months pregnant with my second child, and my first child is a beautiful 4 year old girl. None of my friends hesitated to say they were having a shower for me. And I find no wrong doing or tackyness in it either. I think every child deserves the same amount of celebration. They are all special in every way.

Then why don't you invite them for an afternoon or evening to "celebrate and honor" the fact that they are expecting a new member of their family? In the invitation, you can say that guests can bring a special gift for the baby or the mom such as books, pampers, cards, poetry, etc. Make it more about the fact that she is expecting and you are happy for her and less about a registry and gifts. People probably feel like it is asking for the same gifts or expense they just spent on her a few short years ago. Just serve food or refreshments, play games and take lots of pictures. "Shower" her with love and well wishes. I think that's fine. Why should we only celebrate the birth of a first child. I had men included in my shower because I felt it otherwise excluded my husband of celebrating the arrival of his first child. All the men that were invited got a real kick out of the whole shower, especially the games. They were like, so this is what you do at a shower! This is cool! Good luck and have fun.

I don't think there is anything wrong with throwing another baby shower for your friend, however it is customary to only have the first. If she is in dire need of things then I would explain that to your friends and hope that they understand. I didn't have a second baby shower for my son even though the sex was different. My sister in law wanted to do it but as far as I have been accustomed to you don't do them. So I told her no but people sent things to me anyway for my son so maybe your friends can drop off what they want and leave it that way.

Assuming that your friend is looking forward to having a baby shower for her second child, I think is just great to do a baby shower. In the first place, I do not think is a matter of etiquette or being too demanding or tacky and bla, bla, bla...I think is a matter of showering your second child as well as your first one. The concept of the baby shower is the happiness of your dear friends in knowing the good news a new baby coming into the family. So, with all this being said, lets celebrate the second, third, fourth, fifth and so forth with a baby shower...and have fun...

I don't think another shower is appropriate. After all, good friends and close relatives will most likely still be giving some sort of gift after the birth on their own--maybe the first time they see the baby. They're not going to come empty-handed.
Why not have her closest friends get together for a cozy lunch, spa party or something like that so she can relax, enjoy some "me" time and pamper herself a little bit-after the 2nd--there won't be a lot of chances!

Second baby showers are not right in my opinion. I have a friend who is throwing on for a person whose births are 13 years apart and I still don't think that it is right. I say do something special for the Mom like spa day just as another poster suggested.

It's a have it your way kind of world. Yea, I agree it's unconventional to have a shower for 2nd, 3rd and so-on kids. But here's a great idea...

Throw a 'throw-away' shower. Explain to the guests that the concept is to give gifts that are disposed of i.e. wipes, diapers, dirty diaper baggies (for the diaper bag), diaper genie refills etc. That way it shows you 'know' that after the first shower they got everything new parents could need but know that there are always things needed for a baby.

I'm expecting my 2nd in August and could only wish for such a shower!

Good luck,
R.

I have to say, I approve! My best friend had her second baby almost a year ago and at the time she already had a 5 year old daughter. We threw her a second baby shower because in that many years...she had either thrown a lot of stuff away, or for safety reasons she needed a newer model (ie-carseat). These days, what is proper etiquette?? Go for it. If they choose not to attend because they don't approve, that is on them!

I have 3 children and my dear friends have thrown a shower for me each time. Though I know its not the norm, if you are excited about the baby and want to celebrate, so it! You can make it casual and even suggest a group gift of something she needs for this baby. Tell them they may choose not to come if they don't want to.

Try having a diaper party. I have hosted and attended several of these and always have a blast! It is different from a shower because everyone brings diapers or wipes. It also can include the men. We have also had story book parties, everyone brings the baby a book. It is a way to celebrate and everyone doesn't think it's "improper" b/c it's different. I guess you could make it any theme, but those two are definite winners!

Go for it, S.! If they don't think it's "proper" to bring a gift then they don't have to bring one. How wonderful will it be for that second child to see the pictures of the event and know that people came to celebrate him/her just like they did his/her sister. You can't control what people think and if you think you'd like to celebrate this new baby, then don't let the fear of being "improper" stop you. Life really is too short. Have a blast! =)

I say go for it! I think it's sweet and it's a sign of love- not a token of things. Have fun!

No, you are not wrong to celebrate this new life. However, My opinion (and it is just an opinion) is that having a "baby shower" inplies to guests that they are to buy presents. The expecting mother should already have most of the things she needs from her first child considering she is only three. You could hold a "celebration party" instead of a "shower" and specify in the invite "no gifts", or "only diapers/food/formula please" Calling it a "shower" will put people off as you have already witnessed. Good luck to you and your friend.

My mom wanted to have another baby shower for me when I was pregnant with my 3rd, even though my first was only 5 and my 2nd was only 3. I think she just wanted to have a party, but I talked her out of it. But her idea was to have not so much a baby shower as a congratulations on a new baby party, with the guests bringing things like diapers, wipes, new onesies (without spit up stains!) and gift cards for places like Wal-mart and grocery stores. I liked this idea, but still didn't want a party (you have to know my mom to understand my reluctance!). If you go ahead with this plan, make sure you are specific on the invitations on what type of party it is and what kind of gifts can the guests bring. This should help alleviate some of the grumbling. Good luck!!

Hi S., it really is "not proper" to have a second shower so close to the first. If the gap was 5 yrs or more it would be cool. On the other hand you can have a celebration party and invite the family and friends. Gifts would be optional and totally not expected from anyone. You will also want to stay away from traditional shower games (eww) and decorations. Just have a great party to celebrate!! Have fun and think outside of the box!

I have two children and have NEVER had a baby shower thrown for me. Personally, a shower would have been so extremely helpful in my situation since my children are four years apart and opposite sexes. Some of the responses you received said that setting up a registry is tacky, but I set up a registry both times I was pregnant. It made it easier for everyone to know what I needed both times I was expecting; mainly because I lived out of state from my friends and family.

A good friend of mine has six children and someone has thrown her a shower with each one of her pregnancies. If you want to throw her a shower, than I say do it. If people don't think it's proper, than they can stay home. You're not panhandling for gifts on behalf of your friend, you're asking the important people in her life to share a very special moment in hers.

My friends threw a prayer shower for me. The invitation stated that the purpose was to shower me and the baby with prayer and that is what we did. We prayed for the labor and delivery, my husband, my son (the big brother)ect.. After prayer we had tea, munchies, and talked. Mostly friends from my church were invited and a few family members. The invitation stated "the purpose is for prayer and only bring a gift if you feel led". There were gifts brought and they were not opened at the shower. The gifts were all girl outfits bc they knew I already had all the baby stuff and that my second was going to be a girl.

The only time I have even heard of a second baby shower is when the mother is experiencing a multiple birth for her second pregnancy.
I do not feel it is necessary to give a second shower. If people want to give her a present that is their choice. They should not feel obligated to give a gift at a second shower. Besides, how much does she really need for her second child? Other than bedding and clothing, I would assume she should have all what she needs from her first child.

My twin sons are now 5 and will be nearly 6 when this baby is born. We weren't exactly planning on another baby so I had given away almost all of my baby things. We don't have a pack-n-play, high chair, infant car seat, or any baby clothes to name a few. I know my sister is planning another baby shower for me and most of my friends and family will be quite happy to come and bring a gift since they were or know someone who was the recipient of our generosity. I'm also hoping to get a lot of hand-me downs from many of those people since they have young babies with barely used stuff. So, I think there are definately reasons for a 2nd shower, it depends on the circumstances and the culture.

If she still has her stuff, I think a celebration is a much more appropriate 'party' to have after the baby is born. The guests will be more likely to want to come if they get to meet the newest addition.

I'm currently pregnant with my second child (first is a girl and the second is a boy) and I wasn't planning on having a shower either. However, friends have expressed an interest in doing something to at least celebrate this child as well. My one friend suggested we only have a "sprinkle" instead of a big "shower" like the first time around. Friends and family can bring small items (diapers, clothing/onesies, etc) if they want but its more a gathering of friends and family to celebrate the next wonderful addition to the family. Maybe calling it a "sprinkle" instead of a shower will make the friends/family feel a little better.....

It is not proper and widely considered tacky to have a second shower unless the new baby is at least 5 to 7 years after the last. I know my work threw me a baby shower for my second baby and I was pretty uncomfortable about it. I felt like it was not necessary becuase I had just had a baby 2 years before and everything was still in good condition.

My suggestion is to skip the shower and instead opt for a meet the baby party after the baby is born. It is a shower of sorts but most people buy the new baby presents anyhow. This way they would get to meet the baby too. Plan it for about 3 weeks after her due date. This way you know she will have had the baby.

My sister was going to do this for me with my second. Unfortunately, we had a death in the family 1 week before he was born. She had planned to do a tea party (in the summer), with both hot and iced tea and punch, teacakes and tea sandwiches.

It was a nice thought. It meant that I wouldn't have had quite so many people coming to visit at different times to see the new baby cause they all would know when they were going to see him (we knew he was a boy). It also meant that visiting during that day would be from a set time to a set time so I would be able to rest around the visit and be able to prepare for it ahead of time. It, also, meant my older child (a little girl) could help and participate (and tea parties were one of her favorite things).

Another friend had a book party for their second child. They had a party after the baby was born and instead of asking the guests to bring baby presents, they asked for new books for the baby's library (or for big brother/sister to read with the new baby).

Anyhow, I hope this helps. Good luck.

Any more what is propper has gone out the window. Between my oldest (twins) and my youngest. There is about a 7-8year differnece. And some people thought that it was in proper to have another baby shower. But my mom thinks that it was a woundefull idea. I am expecting my 4 child right after Christmas. And it took a couple of mins for my husband to reliaze that there will not be another baby shower.

If there is such an issue with another baby shower. Then wait till the baby is born and then have a get together where everyone can either bring something for the new child if they want. This way there is no obligation and the sex of the baby will be known.

Either way that u go. Best of luck and i think that you are a good friend for who wants to do something like this.

It isn't traditional, and some people might take offense, but I think that if you make it clear that it's to celebrate something wonderful in your friend's life rather than a way to stock up for a baby, it will be better received.

I'd state on the invitation that gifts are not necessary, but a little token item for the mom (or let people pool money for a gift cert to have a spa day or something) might be nice. I wouldn't open gifts as part of the party, though.

Good luck!

My friends and I have a shower for friends having their second, third, etc. But we don't expect anyone to bring gifts or do a registry. It's really just a party to celebrate the baby. We make sure we tell everyone that. Most people will usually bring a small gift like a pack of onesies or a rattle or something but it's not necessary. You could even do a wishing well type thing only...we have done that in the past. As long as you are not expecting everyone to bring gifts I don't see any reason not to celebrate.

I'd say go for it. Every baby deserves to be celebrated. Besides moms may need some things for a second baby, like a double stroller, diapers, wipes and clothing, especially if it is a different sex.

You could wait until after the baby is born, so people know what kind of clothing to give.

If the mom is not in need of things, then tell folks no gifts, just come and celebrate with the mom.

I dont know who came up with those rules...Go for it and have ablst, there is abolutly nothing wrong with it. I hope i will have another one if i decide to have another baby. Not even so much for the presents, but for my friends and family to celebrate my happiness! I have a friend that has 4 kids and they are 2 years apart, and each time she had a baby shower. It was great!!!!!!

I know your responses have been tremendous but I just wanted to tell you that my girls friends and I have begun a tradition of having "Birthing Blessings" for each other. We borrowed this idea from the Birthing From Within book. We have a no-gift policy and only invite close friends and family to keep it small and intimate. The last one we had, only two weeks ago, was a "Birthing Blessing Brunch" and everyone wore cute dresses, we broke out our china, and even made the mommy a birthing bracelet to carry with her during labor. Each women spoke about a positive birthing experience or shared kind words of encouragement and then put a bead on her bracelet! We also decorated a "Birthing Cake" - SO much fun! We really keep the focus on the mommy rather than the baby. You are an awesome friend to want to do this for her!

Hi S.,

I don't think it is wrong to have a 2nd baby shower but most of the time this is only done if there is a lot of years between the 2 children (my mom had one b/c there was 11 yrs between my 2 brothers). I think the problem is that with a "shower" people are expected to bring a gift and since she just got all this new and great baby stuff 3 yrs ago these people may not think that they should be expected to bring another gift. What about just having a luncheon rather than a shower to celebrate? Invite some friends and have something light for lunch and have a cake but forgo the games and the gifts. That might make more people happy. Just a suggestion.

D.

go for it!!! i had a shower when i was pregnant with my 5th. my family threw it for me. they made register and everything. also, i just threw one recently for my cousin who is pregnant with her 3rd boy and her oldest is only 4! the point is, kids destroy things, and clothing styles change..what one child wore 5 years ago does not mean the new baby should have to wear it again now..bedding gets ruined, and diapers are always a necessity. so celebrate! if some don't approve, they won't come. oh well. have fun and do it anyway!
good luck!

I was always under the impression that you only had a second shower if the kids were 5 years apart or more. I do love the idea of a special gift for the mom-to-be though :-)

My SIL threw me one for our last son, most of our stuff was 5 years old. A lot of my family complained because it was not "proper" to do so.

I think instead of a "baby shower" have a "sprinkle" or a "pamper mommy" party? Instead of baby gifts, bring gifts for mom, or cassaroles for when the baby come home and mom is too tired to cook....

Like someone else said only invite those that are close and would want to celebrate.

I just had my second baby and I knew about my shower (my mom never was good with secrets) none of my friends found it wrong or rude that we had one.

Each shower is a celebration of life. Why would we only give that to our firstborn?

Maybe you could make this a little more geared towards something like pampering Mom. Or I know someone who had a poker night but instead of money they used diapers.

Here is a great website, too.
http://www.bigdotofhappiness.com/

I don't think it's "wrong" to want to celebrate the birth of your friend's second child, but a second shower (considering her 1st is only 3 yrs old) is a little extreme. Instead of a 2nd shower, just have a get together with friends and family and do NOT make it "shower-esque" meaning, do not do favors, games, registries, etc. Food and cake is enough to make a pregnant woman happy and if people want to bring a gift, they are more than welcome. Bottom line is, a woman with a 3 yr old probably has most of what she needs for a new baby. Good luck!

I think it is wonderful. My husbad and I recently were blessed with our 2nd child and we have a3 1/2 year old. It is amazing what you forgot you "need" until you have another little one in your home.