87 answers

Is It Tacky to Have a Shower for Your Third Child?

I have two boys. My husband and I had resigned to the idea of just having two boys even though I desperately wanted a girl. We found out that I was three months pregnant in January and I'm due in August and we just found out yesterday that it's going to be a girl. My mother-in-law hesitantly threw me a shower for my first child and never invited any of my friends and just one family member on my side and the rest of the invites were her family only and she never even told them that I was registered.

I would love to have a shower, not so much for the gifts, as I've already gone crazy shopping, but more just to celebrate because this is what I've always wanted, plus I love to throw parties and I can really knock myself out with this one.
Do you think it would be tacky to have a shower for a third child? Even though the first two were boys and this is a girl. Everyone I've asked so far says no. I know more and more moms are doing their own showers because they want it to be the way they want it and that's what I want to do too. I want to have at least one perfect shower to remember! Help!

1 mom found this helpful

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

I think my opinion is fairly consistent with the others. I have no issues with showers for every baby. I do think it's strange for a mother to host her own shower. As some others suggested, I think a "sip and see" to meet the baby after the birth would be a better fit, if you plan to host.

4 moms found this helpful

I'm pregnant with #3 also. I am definately having a celebration.

Every baby is worth celebrating and so is the momma to be! I love going to baby showers and buying gifts for the new baby.

I would not give myself a shower, that's what friends and family are for. If I were you, I would talk to a close friend and see if they would organize a baby shower for you. I would be more than happy to organize a shower for any of my friends.

1 mom found this helpful

I am so happy for you!! I know you want to celebrate her coming but I would do it after she arrives. Go all out for it!! make it special for all of you!

1 mom found this helpful

More Answers

Congrats on your little girl!

Consider having a "Meet the Baby" party after she arrives. Much less tacky.
I have never heard of a mom having a baby shower for herself. IMO, I think that's plain poor taste.

***ADDED*** I, too, think every baby is a "reason to celebrate" but I don't think it's a reason to ask for gifts! And the word "shower" implies registry and gifts.

7 moms found this helpful

Do you want an honest answer? Yes, its tacky to have a traditional shower for a third child and yes, its tacky to throw one yourself. I can see from your tone that you mean well and are just very excited and want to share this with everyone. I would ask yourself why you want this shower and what you hope it will be. It sounds like you feel you got cheated out of the first shower and now want to have the one you wanted. I would suggest throwing a party either before or preferably after the baby is born. But put a twist on it because yes, every baby should be celebrated. If you do throw yourself a shower (and listen I understand you wanting to since my mom threw me a shower and I was involved in the planning and picked out the invitations) please don't register.

6 moms found this helpful

We had baby welcomings (no showers) for both of our kids, and it was great. I think that the point of a shower is to a) give gifts and b) to mark a big change in your life. So I think it is a little tacky to have a shower for #3. But I think it's awesome to have a party once she arrives.

(Also, I would be careful about thinking about the party as "because this is what I've always wanted" because you don't ever want it to get back to your boys that you were especially excited to have a girl. I'm not judging you for feeling excited; I'd just be careful not to inadvertently hurt someone's feelings).

Congrats on the new little one!

4 moms found this helpful

I think my opinion is fairly consistent with the others. I have no issues with showers for every baby. I do think it's strange for a mother to host her own shower. As some others suggested, I think a "sip and see" to meet the baby after the birth would be a better fit, if you plan to host.

4 moms found this helpful

Yes, very tacky to have another shower. However, if you want to have a party and make sure you tell everyone "NO GIFTS PLEASE", that would be ok. Dont make it a shower and wait til the baby is born. Otherwise, i would forget it and would be offended to be invited to another shower. I was just invited to a second shower for a couple and thought it was extremely rude. I talked to some other invites and they felt the same way, rude and ridiculous. We didnt go.

4 moms found this helpful

I think every baby is a reason to celebrate. We have always given showers to people at our church who had a baby. Any mom on her 2nd or more child usually got a "sprinkle" with diapers and supplies and such.

That being said, I don't think I have personally ever heard of a mom throwing her own shower. The fact that it is your third child is not a tacky reason for a shower. A mom throwing her own shower seems a bit tacky. But, that is just my opinion because I have never seen it the other way.

I understand your excitement in having a girl after two boys. I had two girls, THEN a boy! If you want to celebrate the birth of a baby girl, why not just have a party. A shower definitely implies gifts, but if all you want is a celebration, just have a nice little party with food, cake and games for your close friends and family to share your excitement.


PS...I don't mean to discourage you, all that I said was just my opinion.

***edited to add ~
the "meet the baby" party is a great idea.

3 moms found this helpful

Throwing a shower for yourself violates most rules of etiquette in general. You can't control if other people want to throw a shower for you, but it is generally only done for the first child.

I have attended showers for 2nd children, but the invitations explicitly said that gifts were not expected, rather this was an occasion for people to get together and celebrate the up-coming baby's arrival.

I looked it up just to see what today's rules of etiquette are vs. Emily Post's recommendations:

If you'd like to have a get-together, there's nothing to say you can't invite some friends over and use the excuse of being concerned about the feasibility of being able to do it with 3 kids. But, I'd not recommend saying anything about gifts, registries, gender, etc. Or, it may come across that you're only looking for people to bring gifts.

3 moms found this helpful

I guess I am in the minority here when I say that I would not expect a shower if I was in this esact situation, nor would I think I was obligated to give one to a friend in the situation you're describing. It has nothing to do with not celebrating the new baby, and you, but more to do with an expectation and pressure put on people that they "have" to give you a gift just because you're having one of a different gender. Especially in times like these, where people are watching every penny they spend. The way I understand it, the first shower for the first baby is because you need pretty much everything, and it's a major turning point in your life - the arrival of a child into your marriage. After that, you have the basics and the rest you supplement yourself. Now, it's very likely that people will end up giving you gifts, cute outfits (especially for a girl) and things they know you need to help you along, simply because they want to help you and celebrate the event! I just think if you want to celebrate what you've "always wanted", the time would be after the baby arrives, and everyone can meet her and see how you are doing. I guess I'm out of the loop - I had no idea moms now throw their own showers or help with them! I'm currently planning one for a friend and she only had input on the date and location of the shower, the rest she is leaving up to her mother and me and other friends to take care of. Regardless, enjoy whatever you do!

3 moms found this helpful

Hi there. I am sort of in the same situation, pregnant and happy with Baby # 3 - but I have 1 boy and 1 girl so the gender part I can not connect with.

Anyways - My good friend and neighbor is putting together a "Sprinkle" with my 2 children and her as the host in celebraton of this baby. This way my 2 other children are involved in this celebration and we are not calling it a shower (b/c we are just celebrating and no gifts are expected).

Hope this helps! Good Luck and Congratulations.

3 moms found this helpful

I had showers for all 5 of my kids. I didn't throw my own but friends and family threw one for me. I'd have a party to celebrate your precious one and would do it anyway you want! Have fun and congratulations to you all!!

2 moms found this helpful

Congratulations! Since it's not about collecting gifts (and I assume it won't be in a large hall where yo'd ned a microphone) I say have a great shower ... and let someone else host it. The tacky part, IMHO, is throwing it yourself. If you can't find someone to be a credible front as a hostess, then have a baby party and say no gifts. You could also wait and have a party after your daughter is born, as people love seeing a new baby. Celebrations are always in order.

2 moms found this helpful

Not at all. Every child can be celebrated. It's very common for a new gender baby, as well as a 3rd child too. By the time things have been worn or used from baby #1 and baby #2, things are worn out. Have fun!

1 mom found this helpful

I am so happy for you!! I know you want to celebrate her coming but I would do it after she arrives. Go all out for it!! make it special for all of you!

1 mom found this helpful

My opinion is that one should never throw a shower for oneself.
That being said, go ahead and have a celebration for your new baby girl. A meet-the-baby party or something similar, after she is born. That way the focus won't be on gifts, but on celebrating the new addition to your family.
Congratulations on your pregnancy!

1 mom found this helpful

I think every child is a special blessing and don't see the problem with having a party to celebrate his or her arrival. It doesn't have to be a traditional shower where you register for gifts, play shower games, etc. Maybe have a spa-type day, watch a movie (I don't know if this movie is any good but that Tina Fey movie Baby Mama might be fun to watch with a bunch of girlfriends), have a scrapbook party to prepare for photos and momentos you want to keep, etc. Don't invite guests to a "shower". Invite them to a "fun day for a soon-to-be busy mom of three". You get to throw a party to celebrate your pregnancy/new baby. Congratulations to you!

1 mom found this helpful

I think you should have a baby shower. Go for it!
I've never understood why some people are against a person planning a babyshower themselves? I don't understand why that is considered not right in the minds of some people?
What if a person does not have anyone that wants to give them a shower or does not have close female friends? If that is the case you just don't have a shower?
that's not right.

1 mom found this helpful

Wow, I can't beleive some of these responses! I don't think it's tacky at all, each child deserves their own celebration! I have 3 kids and only had one shower and was slightly hurt that no one thought my other 2 deserved the chance to celebrate my pregnancy :-( I say go for it, celebrate that much anticipated little girl with loads of pink :-) I'd say maybe ask for bff to "help" you host it so it doesn't look as if you're throwing it for yourself. Maybe have it be more informal, invite your boys along too!

1 mom found this helpful

I think you should do whatever you want! Every baby IS a reason to celebrate and girls need different stuff from your boys. If it were me I would not care what anyone thinks if they don't like it they don't have to come. I know what its like to be cheated out of an experience so just make yourself and family happy!

1 mom found this helpful

Go for it! If you have friends that want to bless you then, by all means, let them!

1 mom found this helpful

I say go for it! I had one for my third child because it was going to be a surprise outcome. We did not find out what we were having, and I needed more neutral colors instead of pink. Of course, I ended up having another girl. Have Fun and throw a great big celebration party! Congratulations on your new bundle of joy:-)


1 mom found this helpful

Yes, it's tacky. Although throwing a shower for yourself is even worse. However, I don't think anything can top the previous poster's comments about "requiring gifts to be diapers."

If you truly want to celebrate your new baby (which I completely understand!!), have an open house to meet the baby after she is born. And state, "absolutely no gifts" on the invitation.

1 mom found this helpful

I would have a "Celebrate Life" gathering..Food, Fun, Festivities!!..Make it
fun and creative!
however, I personally would not send shower invites/with gifts :)

1 mom found this helpful

Hi M.,

I agree witht he other ladies, every new baby should be celebrated!

Maybe just let the guest know that they don't need to being any gifts.

I just attended a shower this past weekend for a girlfriends SIXTH baby, and it was wonderful :)

good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

I'm pregnant with #3 also. I am definately having a celebration.

Every baby is worth celebrating and so is the momma to be! I love going to baby showers and buying gifts for the new baby.

I would not give myself a shower, that's what friends and family are for. If I were you, I would talk to a close friend and see if they would organize a baby shower for you. I would be more than happy to organize a shower for any of my friends.

1 mom found this helpful

When I was pregnant with my 3rd, the ladies at my work threw me a surprise shower, (I worked at a daycare! So we all loved babies lol) They knew I already had the big stuff, they got me lotions, baby wash, diapers and a few cute outfits. Some of the parents even gave me $10-15 gift cards my last week working. I was very surprised!
I dont't think its tacky, just be clear that you want their company, and you have every thing you need. Some people will still bring gifts if they want to. Enjoy your little girl!

1 mom found this helpful

We just had a neighborhood baby shower for one of the women in the neighborhood - it was her second. Instead of gifts, we picked a night to cook and bring over dinner after the baby was born.

Plus, who doesn't like getting together with friends to celebrate life events?

1 mom found this helpful

Showers should be renamed, Baby Celebrations, this baby deserves the same as the two you already have. Throw a big obnoxious party, its a girl, she should have nice girly pink gifts:)

1 mom found this helpful

Go for it!!! I have four children and I was given showers for each of them! It is a time to CELEBRATE!!

A baby shower is to celebrate and welcome the baby. Our family has a shower for every new baby.

M.--CONGRATS on your pregnancy, and on finally having the baby girl you wanted. (Daughters are a TRIP--completely different from sons. You're in for a heck of a ride! :-)

But--please do NOT throw yourself a 'baby shower'. Totally tacky. (In fact, your mother-in-law shouldn't have thrown the first one --however weak it was. Mothers and sisters should NEVER throw showers--it's horrible etiquette.) However--if you have a cousin or good friend who wants to throw one, I say 'go for it'. Since most of your friends/family weren't at the first one---and because this baby is a girl---it is not unheard of. You can, of course, be 'discretely' in on the planning (heck--do all the planning if you want, just make sure everyone thinks the party is being 'thrown' by someone else).

But--most of all--have FUN. Relax. Enjoy your pregnancy. And have a great summer with your new baby girl.

I agree with the posters that said to have a celebration but not call it a shower. Showers are for people to bring gifts. Throwing your own shower is tacky because it looks like you're begging for gifts. In our society (or at least in the past) it's considered tacky and rude to ask people for gifts!

I say definitely celebrate though! I think a "meet the baby" party is a wonderful idea. Showers are good for first-time mothers who are pregnant because you're celebrating her first pregnancy and also giving advice :) This is your third so you probably don't need advice.

A meet the baby party is totally fine to throw for yourself, and I'm sure your friends and family will want to shower your new baby with gifts (although just celebrating without gifts sounds fine to you!)


Not tacky at all! You could send out invitations in the shape of diapers and require the only gift be diapers. You will need lots of them and we all know they're not cheap. Ask your best friend to help you plan it... not your MOTHER-IN-LAW!!! Plus you're finally having the girl you've always wanted and that calls for a celebration!

Have fun and Congratulations!

You should definitely have a shower. I had three boys before I had my daughter. My friends were just as excited that I was having a girl as my family. I was not sure about having a shower for my fourth child. My friends decided for me. They threw me the biggest, most beautiful shower I have ever seen. Everyone had so much fun shopping for a girl in a family full of boys. I hope you like pink and lace. Enjoy the moment.

In my group of friends, we through a part for all new babies. We always wait until the baby is born and then have a get together. We all enjoy purchasing a gift for the baby. We all have bigger than average families and find that many people frown on anything after the second. We believe that all babies are a gift and should be celebrated. It is always a blast! We never make it about the gifts. It's always a way to introduce the new baby. So go ahead and celebrate the new life wether it's a girl or a boy!!!!

I guess my family is more like Lenore........

I don't think it's a terrible thing BUT I think you should do it AFTER the baby is born and THEN have a celebratory meet the baby party........

nope. not at all.

You should be able to celebrate your child whichever way you want - especially if someone is willing to throw a shower for you. And if anyone objects, they don't have to come. But I know that not everyone will see a problem with it. So don't worry about the naysayers; you will have others who will be there for the right reasons - to celebrate the exciting arrival of your new addition.

I actually didn't have a shower for my 2nd (I have two kids). I just didn't want one, although my sisters wanted to throw me one.

Another vote for - don't call it a shower, because it seems like you are asking people to give you stuff.

Nope! Throw yourself a lovely shower! Every child is a blessing and should be celebrated! I am actually in the midst of throwing a tea party shower for a friend who is in the exact same boat as you. Enjoy every second of it! :)

WOW!!! are you listening to your heart?!! That's the loudest heart beat I have ever heard.LOL GO FOR IT!! you only go around once!
Congrats and enjoy

Go ahead but maybe call it a celebration instead Most will bring something
but just enjoy it

I think you've gotten lots of good advice and I agree with the consensus. But whatever you decide, I would caution you to be careful about the 'what I've always wanted' aspect. It might be very hurtful to your boys. Your younger boy is now going to be a 'middle child' and that is no small adjustment.
Congratulations on your blessing.

Do what feels right for you, a child is a gift from God, if only to say thank you to God. This generation is celebrating the births of there children, doesn't matter how many. Go for it.

I think you could do it if you make it clear you have most of the baby things you need and gifts are not expected. Maybe call it something other than a shower (so it looses the gift association). You might want to do a search for a Blessing Way and see if it is something you might like. I do definitely understand how great it is to have a daughter. I have an older son and a younger daughter and I feel a different and special connection to my daughter (I love my son but it is just different). Congratulations!

First, I'm very sorry your MIL ruined your first baby shower! Whatever you decide this time around, leave her out of the planning.

Second, whether you have a shower or not should depend more on the situation that how many kids you already have. Our church's shower "policy" is to throw showers for 1st babies, but they make lots of exceptions. We had a shower for a woman's 5th baby, as they had planned to stop with 4 and had given away all their baby stuff! We also threw a shower for another woman with 2 kids already, because it had been 8 years since her last baby!

Don't throw it for yourself, just because you don't need that kind of stress right now. I'm sure you can get a couple friends and/or family members to throw it for you. And don't be ashamed of calling it a shower - unless you want your daughter to wear her brothers' clothes, you're going to need a lot of girly things!

Maybe I read it wrong, but I took your "what I've always wanted" comment to mean- You've always wanted a fun shower. If you meant you wanted a girl and not your boys like the other responders took it, I agree, you should tone that down and not let your boys hear you say that. But there is nothing wrong with having always wanted a good shower and being disappointed you didn't get it.

I agree that most people connect the word "shower" with a traditional shower that is expecting gifts. Even if you don't mean it that way, you can see most people do. Which I honestly don't understand how that isn't considered tacky except that it is common and expected. But really, any time people ask for gifts is tacky if you look at just like that, and not as a happy celebration. I see nothing wrong with throwing a celebration for your new baby, before or after she is born. Since you say you don't want gifts, just have a party and make it clear gifts are not expected and don't register. Then the naysayers won't have anything to call tacky. If you throw it for yourself, definitely don't call it a shower. I am curious what kind of party you would throw yourself, would it be very traditional and shower-like? You would definitely get some people who will think that is tacky.

If it was me personally, I would have it after the baby is born if I did it myself, or I would want a friend to throw it for me if it were before. Mostly just because I wouldn't want any of the negativity that would happen if I did it myself to ruin it for me. And there is no reason a friend can't throw it for you with a lot of input and help from you if they are willing to take it. I would be happy to have help with planning a baby shower.

I am a little disappointed in some of the responses! It is not at all tacky to throw yourself a shower/party! People do it all the time! Consider it her(the baby) first Birthday party! If you want things done right--DO IT YOURSELF! Its not like you are begging people to buy you gifts! If it doesn't feel right to get gifts the tell people you are not interested! But seeing as though this will be your FIRST daughter and you probably don't have "girl stuff" I don't see the problem! As for the people that are saying that it is Tacky that you say" what I always wanted" well maybe just re-word it-- I would like to give my sons a sister to grow up with! lol (sorry got a little ticked at peoples comments) Anyways invite who you want and just have a GREAT time doing it! And maybe you can have he boys help with the party! Good Luck and Congrats! And just a thought but "in these times" people shouldn't feel obligated to "purchase" a gift for someone.., hand-me-downs are awesome and also a hand made certificate for babysitting for an hour or so (nap,shower, store) is always nice from people! lots of things that don't cost money just time and friendship~!!!

No, because a friend of mine did it for a friend of ours and it was her third. Because she had two girls and then about 4 years later got pregnant and found out it's a boy.
So, go for it but have someone else do it for you to make it fun.
Hope all goes well.....CONGRATULATIONS!!! I'll be praying for you and your family and your baby.... :)

Have your baby Celebration...... People can bring gifts or not...... thats up to you...... Don't let others Discourage you...... some people are so old fashioned.

Its your first and ONLY GIRL!!

Do what makes you happy and forget about what anyone else thinks....

I don't know how I would feel. I think that if you already have everything you need I wouldn't throw a "shower". I would probally wait until after the baby is born and then have a party and if people want bring you items for the baby. I am in a situation... that really sucks. I am on my third child myself. I have a girl and a boy and I am suposed to be having another girl, but this child was totally not expected. The father who is a police officer left-- doesn't want anything to do with the baby-- or me... and I have some things left from my other kids, like the crib, high chair, and some clothes(boy). I got rid of all my infant 0-12 month girl clothes after my son was born because I had one of each and as far as I was concerned was done... My son who is two is using the mattress that was for the crib, so i will need a new mattress. I used my sister's bassinet (and is also pregnant right now )so I need a new bassinet and a few other items. I thought about having a shower because I do need the help.. but at the same time...would anyone understand that I don't have this stuff and really do need the help? Even if the stuff is used, I would be happy. I know I will get everything together, somehow. I know it would be easier just to have a shower... but would that be tacky?

No, it is not!!! Each child is a special blessing and none should be treated any differently than the others. With that said, I believe that showers should be small and intimate to begin with. Something in the house, or at a park or a small favorite restaurant with immediate family, friends, or even godparents would be appropriate.

Hi M.,

This is M. giving you my two cents. Absolutely, you should have a baby shower for your little girl to celebrate her arrival. I think your guests would appreciate joining you in welcoming your newest baby. The two acceptable reasons for having a baby shower when you already have children is if there is a wide span of time between children, or as in your case, you are welcoming the opposite sex of the children you already have.


I think you should go for it. I had only one shower and how I would have loved having a second one for my second child even if they were both girls. They were four years apart and a lot of the gifts for the first were out dated by the time my second came. I also believe that it is a celebration and we need to celebrate every child born.

I also have 2 boys, and if we found out I was going to have a girl, I would most definitely have a shower. We aren't having any more babies, but for those of us with boys, how can you not have a girly baby shower? I say go for it and do it! Congratulations.

More and more people are having multiple showers for their expected little ones. I personally have known people that have had a second, third, and (yes even) a fourth baby shower! Baby showers were invented to celebrate the exciting occassion in our lives. So, I say go for it girl, you deserve to throw the shower of the century for the long awaited little girl inside you!! This is something special to tell your little angel when she gets older! Congratulations to you and your husband; girls (and boys) are Blessings and all of your family and friends would most likely be thrilled to share this with you two!

Congratulations! I think that any shower beyond the first baby is tacky, except in very special circumstances.

But it doesnt sound like you want an actual shower. You want more of a ladies get-together without the gifts. So I think you should do that, and it would be fine for you to host it yourself at your house. Dont send invitations in the mail. (if you do, your guests will think it is a shower, even if the invitation says it is not a shower)

Just call a few friends and tell them that you are hosting a ladies lunch in celebration of "girl power". And tell them, please no gifts. As we all know, people never follow that rule...so perhaps you head that off by asking them to bring something else -- either gently-used items for the local women's shelter...or tell your friends that you are creating a scrapbook for your future daughter, which will have recipes, stories about you as a kid, memories, photos, motherly advice, etc, and ask each person to bring something to tape into the book, or to be thinking of something to write in the book...So say something like "I would prefer no gifts, and I really mean that. I really dont want this to be a traditional shower. So if you could bring something for my book instead, Id really appreciate that"

Keep your party very un-shower-like. Keep it casual so that friends can talk and laugh. But also make it special with good food, beautiful flowers, some light music, cloth napkins - maybe ask a friend to do a toast.

Dont do games and DONT do a big gift-opening extravaganza (assuming that a few friends will bring gifts). Put the gifts in another room, where they arent visible and open them afterwards, and then send thank you cards in the mail. If a friend insists that you open her gift, do it in front of her - but not as a big thing where it makes everyone stop and watch.

But DO decorate in pink or whatever girlie color or theme you love -- make a cake or cupcakes. And celebrate girl power in style.

I think that is how you get to have the party you've always wanted without it being tacky

No it is not tacky. I would have done it if after the five boys I had, I came up with a baby girl. Congratulations and God bless you.
M. C.

I know more and more people are saying it's okay to have a shower for 2nd, 3rd etc children or that it's okay to throw your own shower. However, I am definitely in the camp that thinks it's tacky. Even though I'm a youngish mom (of the generation that often throws etiquette out the window), I don't even want my mom to throw me a shower because traditionally showers should be thrown by non-family members so that it doesn't seem like the family is asking for gifts.

That being said, I DEFINITELY think you should celebrate your baby girl! Just don't make it a "shower." You can have a "welcome baby" party when she arrives or have a party before she's born but don't call it a shower. Since you said it's not about the gifts, specify "no gifts, please" on the invitations. You will surely still get gifts, but it will seem like the party is a celebration of your daughter rather than a request for gifts (I think most people perceive a shower as being primarily about gifts, whereas a "welcome baby" party or a baby barbecue or something similar would be more about celebrating the baby).

You're having a girl. Everyone but your M-I-L will understand. Do yourself a favor and don't ask her to give you one! Didn't invite your friends or your family members except one? Gracious!

Have a lovely shower, and congrats on the girl!

I think it's not very tasteful to have a shower for a third child but it's not the worst thing in the world. It is simply NOT appropriate to host it yourself though.

However, I do find it VERY tacky and in poor taste to be so vocal about your third child (a girl) being "what you've always wanted." While I'm sure you don't intend to, this attitude may carry through to your boys and be hurtful to them. It also makes you sound ungrateful for the two beautiful children you have. It's fine to be happy about having a girl after two boys, but perhaps be a little more discreet about it?

How about a big pot luck after the baby comes? Ask for help before the baby is born and give friends a heads up you want to do this but will need some help? This way everyone can see baby girls and you will have some amazing photos ops..

I love seeing new babies and big brothers will be able to attend too..

Dear M., congratulations...I had my girl after 2 boys :-) I think you should have a shower if you want to. Invite your friends and if anyone does not want to come... so be it! Grandma Mary

Go for it. The birth of a child is always a blessing and a reason to celebrate. No matter 1st 5th or 7th child. Your true support team will not have a problem with this and anyone that does has an option not to attend. I wish you the best and go all out if you want. Enjoy.....

I don't think so. I had a shower for both my children. My mother and sister threw my first and my one of my best friends threw the 2nd. (girl then boy). Just tell everyone it's just a celebration and please don't feel obliged to bring gifts. People probably will anyway though. :) I don't think it's tacky at all. It's just a celebration of a new life.

I wouldn't call it a shower but rather a party. Let people know you don't want gifts but just want to celebrate the soon-to-be- birth of your baby girl. Congrats!

No, it would not be tacky to have a baby shower for a third baby, the first girl after two boys. However, it would be extremely tacky for you to throw yourself a shower. It's not done. Although you say that you're not looking for gifts, that is what a shower is and it's rude to ask for gifts. A shower isn't the entitlement of a "perfect party." Your family and friends have not been to a shower for you because none of them made one for you (and no one is obligated to take on that expense). You may have visions of a perfect party to celebrate you, but the idea of a shower is someone else putting together a day to celebrate you. It's fine to make a fun meet the baby party after or plan a girls day that isn't a shower but I'd honestly find it tacky for an expectant mom to invite me to her own shower that she is making. A shower isn't a given, not everyone gets one.
Good luck and congrats on the girl to be.

Love the suggestions, the family dinner, the "sprinkle:... etc.

You might also encourage guests who want to bring gifts, instead make a donation to a Children's hospital or Make-A-Wish or something.....instead.

Having a shower for the 3rd child is fine. I know many women that have had showers for the 3rd child. Lets face it, by the 3rd child any thing you got at your shower for the first baby is probably worn out by now. But throwing it yourself is a different story. That is kind of tacky no matter how many kids you have!

How about just having a party to celebrate with all your friends and family that you are having a baby? And a girl at that? Some may bring gifts but it's not required. You could do the decorating as if it was a baby shower since it is a party to celebrate a new baby and even do some baby shower type games if you want. And don't forget the cake and refreshments. Since you have a computer maybe you could make up your own unique invitations. "We're having a baby! Please come celebrate with us!"

Throw yourself a special celebration, like a dinner out with 6 of your closest friends, a catered luncheon, or anything else you might like, with all your special friends to celebrate the upcoming arrival your little girl. Don't call it a shower, don't invite your mother-in-law, refuse to accept all gifts, and have a wonderful opportunity to revel in your anticipatory joy. Too often we get hung up on what "showers" are supposed to be--don't call it a shower and you can do anything you want.

Don't do this.I do have to be honest....have a hard time believing that you don't want gifts. A lot of people say that but don't mean it. If a party is held, people will feel obligated to bring something. Why not celebrate at the hospital when the baby is born?

Well I am kinda in the same situation but I am finally having a boy after two girls. I would definitely not throw myself a shower. I thought that a shower is usually thrown by people who were thinking of you and wanted to do it. I would feel kinda like I was imposing on people by throwing myself a shower and expecting people to come and bring gifts. I believe that if people really want to buy you something for the baby then they will anyway whether you have a shower or not. Like the others said, if you really want a party then just invite the people you know that really want to see the baby after she is born. Also congrats on the girl, they are precious and alot of fun.

I say go for it. Congratulations on your new baby girl!

Never tacky to celebrate a new life.

Just have a Baby Celebration and state on the invite it's a "gathering rather then gift giving event". If someone brings you a gift then that was of their own accord. Happy Baby Girl! They're a blast!

Hi M.!
I totally agree that it's okay to have a party to celebrate your new baby, but I would not call it a shower. I think it's kind of tacky to throw your own shower, but not your own "Welcome Baby" party. I think it would be so much fun to have everyone over to celebrate and meet her once she is born. People will bring gifts, no doubt! So I wouldn't worry about that.
I also agree w/some who said putting such an emphisis on the girl part (What I always wanted, etc...) may be hurtful to your boys.
A Welcome Home party would be nice, or a baby BBQ, like another suggested is cute too. Congrats on your pregnancy, and getting a girl. Have fun!

I say yes! but do it yourself... yes! Mine was crazy too. Maybe you can say no gifts, but just bring a package of diapers or wipes or something like that, so people don't feel empty handed.

I think its fine, especially since your others are boys and this one is a girl.. CONGRATULATIONS btw!! :0) I think its GREAT!! I am sure people will think its normal to have one even though its your third. I know LOTS of people who have had more than one shower because the sex of the baby was different.. No biggy! Run with it girl! ;0) Good luck!! and Congratulations again!

A.-work at home wife and mom of 3 girls ages 7, 6 and 4 :0)

I dont know how old your boys are, but it seems to me that you are celebrating this girl a bit too much. Think how they might feel if not now but later on that you were SO SO happy to have a girl that you threw your own party.

Go for it!!! I just had my second shower (#1 is a boy, this one is a girl) I was a little hesitant at first just like you, so I asked around about having a 2nd shower and all I got were yes's. It was so much fun and so well attended. Everyone loves shopping for little girls. It is so common now to have 2 showers, one for each gender no matter if it is #2 or #3. Have fun and enjoy, don't worry about it!

M., first and foremost, CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!! I am very happy for you!! I do NOT think it is tacky and the others who are criticizing you should be blatanly ignored. Children are a blessing from God and especially when you've wanted a little girl for so long!!! I think if you threw the party yourself it is fine. That shows you aren't wanting people to spend so much money if you are willing to do the leg work yourself!! Call it a "shower", call it a "celebration"...call it whatever you want!!! Have a shower for your little girl and if people dont like it they can stay home and keep their rude comments to themselves!! Congratulations again and may God bless your family!!

hi, its Desi, i have 7 kids and 7 grand kids , i had showers 4 all of them , u go right ahead and have a wounderfull baby shower for your brand new baby girl, Congrats 2 u and u r hubby , u r not off on this , ok, have a great adventure , having all those babys to kiss and hug , goodnite and good luck God Blees u and urs , sincerly Desiree M B..


hi, its Desi, i have 7 kids and 7 grand kids , i had showers 4 all of them , u go right ahead and have a wounderfull baby shower for your brand new baby girl, Congrats 2 u and u r hubby , u r not off on this , ok, have a great adventure , having all those babys to kiss and hug , goodnite and good luck God Blees u and urs , sincerly Desiree M B..

Its not tacky to have the shower for the 3rd child. Its just tacky to through it yourself. Talk to your BFF and ask her to stand in as hostess and then you can whip up the party yourself on the sly since you enjoy doing it. If that doesn't work out and you have to through the party yourself then don't call it a shower, call it something like "Its a Celebration Party! We're Finally Getting a Girl!". Your mom-in-law was tacky not to invite your family and friends to the first shower. Good Luck and God Bless.

I am a one shower kind of girl especially in todays economy. Tacky does
not quite describe throwing your own shower. I have never known anyone
to throw their own shower. I do not think I would attend one.

I am sure this is not what you wanted to hear, but you asked. Congratuations on your pregnancy.


I am a one shower only kind of a girl. Tacky does not quite describe
someone throwing themselves a shower. Personally, I do not think I
would attend. Sorry but you asked. Congratulations on your baby.

Hi M.,
I would do a baby shower if I was you. You invite the people and if they want to come and celebrate with you and your family that's great and if they don't so be it. I had two boys and a girl, I didn't have a baby shower for the second one or third one, but then again, I was sure that the last one was a boy :)
If I would've known it was a girl, I would have done a a baby shower for my little girl!!! :) I had only gotten one pink outfit in case I was wrong and it would be a girl instead of a boy.
So, go for it and enjoy!!!

I don't think it's tacky I just wouldn't want to go through the fuss again.

The whole shower thing actually makes me really mad! When I first got pregnant in high school my MIL threw a shower for her 2 friends and their daughter I couldn't stand! Everyone but me and my husband drank and I felt so left out! The family on his side that showed up didn't really like me and never have... so all and all HORIBLE experience! My mom tried to throw one but by then all my friends and I were about to graduate and head off to college, so it ended up being my best friend who came over just to hang out! I bought everything all by my self and was so tired of people saying I wasn't going to make it. With my second my MIL tried to plan another one but I kept going into preterm labor and I already had everything bc she was another little girl only a year later! I am done with kids for awhile and the only way I would even think of trying to let a friend throw me a shower (Everything I own except the swing is not gender specific) would be if I had a little boy, but probably won't bc I already had to many bad experiences with them!
I don't think its tacky to have another shower where someone you know and knows you throws it for YOU! However it sounds more like you want to just celebrate and enjoy the fact you finally got a daught (they are amazing). If thats all you want I would actually suggest haveing something like a bbq and inviting all your friends or something on that line and make sure you tell them that this is not a shower, but a celebration! I would wait though and just have a celebration at the hospital or (my choice) a week or so after the baby is born!
Have fun and enjoy your new little bundle of joy! She will be amazing, I have two little girls and they are so perfect.Dont get me wrong I would love a son, but I am just so in love with having such pretty daughters =) Hope all works out!

that would be fine to have a shower. only don't let your mother-in-law throw it.

No it is not tacky to have a shower for a third child nor for a fourth. This is your day and you are excited, elated, even if it was a boy. However you know its a girl!! You should never think that its tacky to have a Baby Shower unless lets say maybe its your 5th or 6th. I think it is very honorable for anyone to give a shower or in your case having your own. Of course you want to invite friends, family and of course your mother. Sure its nice to go out and buy some things that you want but its also nice to have the friends that you want over as well as gifts for the new little one. Your friends want to be a part of your shower, never think differently.
I wish you all the luck in the world and Congratulations on your little girl!!
Now she has older brothers' to stick up for her in the future! lol
Have a wonderful time and enjoy, your friends will to.

Required Fields

Our records show that we already have a Mamapedia or Mamasource account created for you under the email address you entered.

Please enter your Mamapedia or Mamasource password to continue signing in.

Required Fields

, you’re almost done...

Since this is the first time you are logging in to Mamapedia with Facebook Connect, please provide the following information so you can participate in the Mamapedia community.

As a member, you’ll receive optional email newsletters and community updates sent to you from Mamapedia, and your email address will never be shared with third parties.

By clicking "Continue to Mamapedia", I agree to the Mamapedia Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy.