February 19, 2009,
T.M. asks from Florissant, MO on January 26, 2009
20Month Old NOT Sleeping Through the Night - Need Advise
my daughter is 20 months old and is consistantly waking three or more times at night. Goes to bed at 8pm then wakes at 10:30 then again at 12:30 then again at 3:30 then again at 5 or 5:30. By this time I get up - tired! I give milk, rock her, let he sleep on me in the chair. I will not place her in our bed - do not want to start a new problem. Please help!!
C.H. answers from Kansas City on January 31, 2009
I personally don't think the Cry-it-out method works for every child - so be sure to try different things. I also think it's frustrating as hell for the whole family. Just my opinion. I have also been told that other moms talked to a sleep specialist about their child and it helped them. I had the same problem with my daughter. We just had to try different things and we eventually found our groove. You'll get through it. I think that's a tough age when it comes to bed time anyway. I don't really have any magical advice, but I have to say not to disregard certain ideas (sleeping in the bed with you) just because other moms don't like it. That's the only way we got sleep for a few months. We always started her out in her bed, and in the middle of the night when she woke up, we'd try to put her back to sleep in her bed but if it just wasn't going to happen, we didn't fight it and we brought her to bed. She's now 2 1/2 and sleeping in a "big girl bed" - and sleeping through the night. That's my experience and I know others will disagree, but we have to realize that what works for one person might not work for another.
S.S. answers from St. Louis on February 19, 2009
I am sorry. I have not checked in for a while now.
I certainly know your frustrations. I have been down this road with my son who is now 17 months old. It took a few nights of some tough love to fix. We tried to let him cry for at least 5-10 minutes and went in his room, kissed him on the cheek and laid him back down. Some nights this would repeat several times. I know it seems like it will NEVER get better but eventually they learn.
If this does not help, our pediatrician referred us to the SLeep Clinic at St. Luke's. If you are interested, let me know and I will get you that number.
I hope this helped & good luck.
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L.S. answers from Wichita on January 26, 2009
OBVIOUSLY you need sleep too. Advice I've been given that has helped me is this: When your daughter goes to bed, let it be so. When she awakes, check on her, BUT do not make it enjoyable. Make sure she is OK then leave. Do not talk to her, do not comfort her, do nothing. She will cry and probably cry hard, but stand firm.
I've given this advice before to someone else and I know it seems harsh. But, the more boring to her you are, the less she'll look to you in the middle of the night. She'll learn to put herself back to sleep. That's all she's looking for is someone who'll put her to sleep... she's very capable of doing that herself.
This won't help overnight. It may take a week or so, but it does work. Let your thoughts of sleeping all night be your motivation.
Good luck!! I know it's not easy, but you can do it!
PS If you follow through with this, you can ALWAYS give her hugs and kisses and comfort during the day. She'll know you still love her!
J.B. answers from St. Louis on January 26, 2009
Hi there, She might be having a growth spurt also. Her appetite might be increasing. Have you tryed giving her a snack before bed. It is just a idea. My son just turned 2 and his appetite has increased. If that isn't it then I agree with the moms above me. I would let her go back to sleep on her own.I hope this helps.
E.V. answers from Kansas City on January 26, 2009
It may take a few nights but I def. would go with the cry it out!! It wont hurt her!!! I know you hate hearn her cry but it will get better if u just dont give in!! Trust me I had to deal with the same thing!!! My son still sometimes wakes up but I know if I let him cry he'll fall asleep eventally.