20 Month Old Jealous of New Baby

Is she used to you playing with her/entertaining her all the time? If yes, then it's going to be a big adjustment. At 20 months old she is still very much a baby and is probably more confused than jealous.
I think reading and snuggling with her while you are nursing is great. But I would also start encouraging her independent side. Set up toys and activities that will hold her interest. At that age they love stacking (blocks) and filling and pouring. They also like crawling in and out of things. Get some big empty cardboard boxes and cut a few windows in each, she will love "hiding" from you.
Like I said, if she's used to your undivided attention it will be an adjustment. But learning how to play on her own is a GOOD thing, she'll be an all around more content and happy little girl :)

Are there times you are able to spend with just your 20 mo old? Maybe after you are done nursing, put baby down - in a bouncer or similar seat and then spend some 1:1 time with big sister. Or, if you know nursing time will be soon, do 1:1 time first, then nurse.

What does big sister do when you are nursing?

With how infants work, I don't think it is very practical to try to schedule nursing around another child's schedule. A baby needs to eat when they need to eat...it would be complicated to have a cranky, hungry baby AND a cranky, needy toddler to deal with.

The transition is going to take some time...

I really don't have any suggestions as my kids are 8 years apart and 9 years apart. But it does remind me of my brother and I. We're close in age cuz he was planned and I was a surprise, lol. I'm 19 months younger than my brother. He was so jealous when I was born that he stopped talking, went back on the bottle and tried to "help" with me in his own way. When I needed to be fed and cried he'd grab a bottle and cram it into my mouth over and over again with me screaming louder and was upset cuz I wouldn't stop screaming, lol. When I had my back patted he insisted on having his back patted so my mother played double duty with us. My grandmother told my mother that my brother would ease out of this phase as he got used to me being in the house and saw that he was still getting attention he needed. He got over it rather quickly as I got old enough to start interacting with him, but there was always a hint a jealousy with me, which was natural. I was the youngest and the only girl. To this day, he tells my kids how I was so spoiled as a kid, to which I have to rebut how he was more spoiled than me! LOL We're in our 40s.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

Something I did with my son was give him a job while I was nursing (nursing time was when he was up to know good, because he learned pretty quickly that I was "stuck"). Granted, he was older, my son was a month shy of three when his sister came along. It was his "job" to bring me the Boppy to feed the baby. He took the task very seriously. It included him in the process.

And in the beginning I explained every time that I was feeding the baby and compared it to how he eats. During feedings, we read a lot. And I did allow tv, it was just easier than balancing baby, books and the toddler. After each feeding, I made time with my son. Sometimes the baby was included and sometimes I put the baby down and just gave him my undivided attention.

I would give yourself a break & let a little sesame street in while nursing.
There is very little you can do with her while nursing, at 20 months they don't really want to sit & read a book, they are active little things.
Then turn it off & play with them to transition out of tv mode.

I was very careful not to turn on tv, but looking back I could have been a little more relaxed. It could have made those times so much easier :)

Sweety she's not old enough to understand the term jealous ..She just wants attention from mom. those sounds like good ideas but it also sounds like she is trying to figure out what you are doing. i would go wth the same things you are doing, and perhaps try to include her somehow.

My kids are 20 months apart too! It sounds like you are doing great.

My son was the oldest, and we became BIG tv watchers! We had too, because the minute the baby latched on to nurse my son would run off and do something naughty! Lots of the shows on Nick Jr and Disney are actually pretty educational and have the effect of gluing most two year olds right into place.

Other than the things you are doing, you could also arrange for your daughter to have something special she could sit down and eat - vanilla yogurt and fresh fruit with a little brown sugar is a big hit at our house.

Also - show your daughter how nursing works and explain to her that she used to nurse, too. My friend's daughters use to "nurse" their dolls while she nursed baby sister. My son wasnt so in to that, but he was obsessed with the breast pump.

Also - to help with jealousy - I tried REALLY hard not to say to my son "No, I cant help with that right now because I am doing ___for the baby."

When my husband was home, I had him take primary care of the baby (he couldnt breastfeed, obviously) while I lavished attention on my son.

For the most part, my son was too self centered to really notice the baby or that he wasnt alone in the center of our universe anymore.

Congratulations!

We are not big tv watchers in our house either, but I started having to do something to keep my daughter (now 19 months) out front under my feet when I was getting ready in the morning. I'm in Dallas too and channel 13 (kera) has some great shows in the mornings. I love Sid the Science Kid. I keep 1 or 2 of those on the dvr and pop it on for a few minutes when I need to brush my teeth and fix my hair. Then I run it off when I'm done and don't just leave it running all day. Just an option if you decide to go the tv route.

Also, there are some good ideas on pinterest for kid activity boxes and drawers and stuff. Maybe check there for ideas.

Let her help you feed the baby. Two year olds love to help! She can help carry things you need (pillows, blanket) and she can help burp the baby. She can bring a doll and feed her baby at the same time. At her age she should be able to play independently for a little while. And a little tv isn't a bad thing. Sesame Street is very educational. I can still remember things I learned from it as a child and I'm 46!