My son is just 20 months old. This is the longest I have BF with any of my children. MY daughter she self weaned at 11-12months, which was no biggy. Will my youngest is going to drive me crazy. Don't get me wrong I love Bfing and the time I spend with hiim, but I hat having to still pump at work which has decreased to 1 time a day, if that. I work a 12hr shift with a 2 hr drive total so I have to pump for a little relief.
Has any one else experienced this? I would like to wean but it has been so hard. (mostly on him) If I'm home he with scream at me, grab my hand, pull me to the couch and pat his hand on the cusion wanting me to sit so he can nurse. This isn't just like once in the day time, it's all the time! at least 8-9 times if were home. As I type he is nursing now! When where in public he rarely asks to nurse (by patting my chest or grabbing my shirt) and I tell him not right now. He doesn't quite through the fits in public if I tell him no as he does at home. He screams, stomps, rolls on the floor the whole sha-bang! This may sound selfish but I can't do anything with out him attached to me at the hip or boob! If I'm in the kitchen cooking I shut out gate and he will stand there and scream and cry his little heart out. It's so hard but if he comes in he pushes the chair up to the counter and gets into everything. I have tried distracting him, putting him in the highchair notheing works.
I guess I just need some advice. I can't do laundry, clean ect. I LOVE him to death and we play and do things together but he is reallt starting to drive me crazy. If I'm lucky he will play with his brother and sister for a few minutes but not long till he is back to me. I feel horrible for feeling this way about him. But if I'm not holding him he's not bf hes getting into something he's not supoosed to or screaming. We have TONS of toy and he's not interested in them longer than 2 minutes.
Any thoughts would be appericated. I'm just frustrated, an not to mention all the flack I get for still breastfeeding a 20month old! Oh and I am Baby nurse and sooo pro breastfeediing but I think it's time for us to stop. I don't want to stress him out.. I don't know what to do. Sorry for the essay.
I breastfed until child weaned herself at 4.5 y/o. It's time to teach nursing manners. "Wait", "when we get home" and "Later" are all good things to teach.
Stop pumping too... no reason to still pump for a toddler - tho nursing on demand is good. Try not to refuse outright too often, but teach him those 3 above manners and you'll be a happier Momma.
Well, think of it as his introduction into one of life's biggest lessons -you can't always get what you want! He'll get over it -and you will feel much better! I couldn't stand it either!
My son is very clingy to me too, and was weaned 10 months ago (at 17 months). You CAN wean him and you should if you're starting to resent it, but it won't change his clingy-ness completely. It was very hard for us to wean him--Daddy took over bedtime and we pretty much got him introduced to a new comfort ritual. Now when I'm not paying enough attention to him (or Daddy--that is one thing amazing about weaning, they learn they can be comforted by the other parent also!) he will start tantrumming over the slightest thing and want us to sit in a rocking chair with him and rock. I do not think the only way a child can reconnect with their mother is by nursing--you are more than a set of nipples. He just needs to learn to be soothed other ways
If he's separated from you 14 hours a day, no wonder he's clingy when you're together! It sounds to me like he just really needs you right now, and the only time he has your attention is when you're nursing.
Toddlers are tough, but I found nursing to be a good way to reconnect and maintain my relationship with my busy toddlers.
My daughter was like this - as far as being on my boob constantly- and at 16 months I said enough is enough! She wasn't even nursing most of the time, just using me as her pacifier! Stop beating yourself up. You've nursed him for 20 months. You've done a great job! He will be fine.
As far as the temper tantrums- I know it's hard to not give in but it sounds like you need to set some clear limits and stick to it. Your little guy understands you and if he doesn't listen put him in a short time out.
Good luck and like I said, stop beating yourself up!
I can't say that I understand where you are coming from because I am an adoptive mother and could not breast feed my baby. However I do know how it rips at your hear to have your little one screaming and crying, begging for something that you've said they can not have.
I had to just ignore the fits. It was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life but I literally had to walk away from her and let her have the tantrum, even though it lasted for an hour and a half!
you may have to just let him cry.
I agree with Meredith C. that your son is missing you and wanting that close intimate connection. My son self weaned a little after his 12mo birthday because he didn't like the changing flavor of my milk since I was 4 months pregnant. My daughter is still nursing, at 17 months old, which has been very difficult since I am now again 4 1/2 months pregnant and VERY VERY sensitive in the breasts. It hurts so bad that I jump when she latches on, I clinch my teeth and shut my eyes hard until I can relax somewhat again. It's been very difficult on me and I have wanted to wean her since the beginning of my pregnancy but she just isn't ready to give up. She still feels that strong need for close contact with mommy. I've just had to bare it for her sake. All I can say it to keep doing what you are doing when you say "not right now." I've had a lot of friends wanting to wean their clingy 2 year olds... what they've done is try to distract their child and make them forget about the "need" to nurse... have them sleep with daddy at night for a week (if he still nurses in bed with you at night), distract him with some other sort of food, set-up specific times of day for nursing (Oh, the clock doesn't say it's time yet... you need to wait a little longer), etc. A lot of them said they even ran and hid from their child for a while... LoL... I hope you are able to figure something out. Blessings!!
