Gentle Toddler Weaning

As you said you don't want advice about self led weaning... which I did and daughter weaned by 4.5 y/o - then the only other advice I can say is:

When you go away for two days - don't worry about him, but prepare him about no milchies while you are away and to use a cup/sippy cup until you get back home.

He will be ok and will most likely be so glad to have you and the milchies back!

Both my kids self-weaned at around 18 months. With my son, I would rock with him in the rocking chair to get him to fall asleep instead of breastfeeding, and he was very accepting of that. I was still holding him close and having that cuddling time, I just had my shirt down and no breast out. Sometimes he would start with breastfeeding for a few minutes, then when he stopped I detached him but still rocked with him. We did that for a few weeks and eventually he stopped asking for it. When we moved him to his own bed (we coslept with him) I had him hold on to his favorite teddy bear to fall asleep with. It might not be that easy for your son, but if you try to replace breastfeeding with just cuddling and having other special time, and have a special stuffed animal or other lovey that will make him feel secure, it might work. Good luck!

take one of the feedings out if you decide to wean him like the morning feeding take that out and see what happens if he does well after 2-3 weeks take the other feeding out the nap one is what i would do and after a couple more weeks of that if he does well then take the bed time feeding out. I wouldnt even try the bottle at this point because it would just be harder to get off of that if you want to try pumping maybe put some pumped milk into a new sippy cup for him for his "special" drink aka your breast milk and see what happens with that if your not going to wean or if he is not totally weaned by the time your and your husband is away for the first time it might help a little or warm up regular milk and put it in a sippy up and kudos on breastfeeding for 2 yrs

I had planned to nurse my daughter until one of us didn't want to anymore. When she was about 21 months (and I was preggers) I tried to stop by not nursing her at night, but I think I had so much anxiety over it that she was affected by that. We spent a whole night with her waking and begging for it and being so unhappy, (after making it about 24 hours). Finally, I "gave in" and we all slept and I realized I wasn't done. Only three months later, she was about to turn two, and her comprehension of the situation was so much better. I told her milkies were for babies and she was a big girl. I told her the new baby would drink the milk and she could now go on the potty and do other big girl things, so now we would just have stories and songs at bedtime. Literally, never a tear or a question, and we both felt great about it. And let me tell you, this was a girl who was attached to her boobies!
Now, with my son being 18 months, I think about weaning him, but I know he's my last baby and I think I'll just wait til it feels right.

My son was a little over 2 and I had to wean him for various reasons. I stopped the morning session first, it really wasn't a problem as he was excited to get busy with his day and when I said, "In a minute" he got distracted and forgot. Then when that was done I dropped the naptime one, then finally the before bedtime one. Our problem was that if I sat or lay down with him to cuddle before naps and bedtime he assumed it was time to nurse. He was old enough to understand when I explained things so I told him I had something to do, told him what it was, laid him down with kisses and hugs, went to do it, and most times he would be asleep in a couple of minutes and he didn't nurse that time.

It was about 5 weeks or so when he stopped asking or trying to nurse, and he never really cried for it either during the time he was being weaned.

Not sure about how to wean a 2 year old, because I weaned at 11 months, but I just wanted to say way to go for nursing this long! How lucky your little guy is to have you:)

When I was trying to get my 2 year old daughter to stop nursing all night long, I would tell her she could nurse for as long as the song was that I would sing.

I just weaned my 16 month old over a 6 week period of time. There were no tears, no pawing at my chest, begging, nothing. It was just easy. My kids aren't very flexible so I have to make changes very gradually or it causes them to act insecure. I can't stand it when they are clingy and crying so I try to make changes in their routine slowly so they can adapt. I removed the least desirable feeding first and offered distraction and a beverage. For instance for the morning feeding, I served him breakfast immediately when he go up and offered him juice afterward (he hated milk and water then but accepts both now). After a about a week I tackled another feeding until we were down to nursing before bed only. As I reduced the number of feedings my body began to make less milk and therefore nursing wasn't as enjoyable for him. Naturally as my supply dropped off, he was less content to nurse for long periods.
You can also shorten the amount of time at breast gradually over a few days if your child really protests giving up a feeding. For instance, for nap time feeding, you may want to just nurse a couple minutes and take him off. Then resume your normal naptime routine. Best wishes. I'm pro breastfeeding too, but there does come a time when all good things must come to an end. There's many ways to nurture and make a baby/toddler feel secure and breastfeeding is just one of them. Best wishes and Congrats on nursing past 1 yr. Nurse midwife mom of 3

Hi N.,

This advice is from me and a friend of mine who nursed all of her kids until they were 2 or 3 (my daughter went till 2 1/2). First of all, your son will be fine if you leave for a few days. You don't need to pump. He will miss you, and he may need/want to nurse all day when you return, but you can leave him.

As far as weaning, I would pick the nursing time that's easiest to give up and work on that one first. We decided that before bed time would be easiest for my daughter, and my husband put her to bed (without me nursing her) for 2 weeks straight (she was around 2 years old). After that, I was able to put her to bed just by singing the songs that were part of our new routine.

She was still nursing when she woke up in the morning and after naps for a while after that, but not always consistently -- it depended on what was going on after her nap, etc. If you are at all able to have another adult around to "distract" your child from nursing, it can be really helpful. If not, just talk to him about how he'll have "michies" in the morning (or whichever time you decide to continue nursing). And make sure you still have plenty of non-nursing snuggle time! (My daughter rarely wants to snuggle with me any more unless she's sick -- she's 3 1/2 now -- although she will snuggle w/ her dad.)

Good luck, whatever you decide-
R.

give him a cup instead. i'm sure he drinks other liquid throughout the day other than breastfeeding right? just give him milk in a cup and be done with it.

I'd give him a cup of milk and cuddle with him the same way, just without the breastfeeding.

I agree with SH about saying your busy, in a minute and he'll get distracted. Since they are at bedtimes/waking up I would try the sippy cup and cuddle with him.

dont worry about when you go away. that may do it. or when you go back he will want to nurse again. weaning him now for times youll be away later makes no sense. i nurse my 3 year old once a day so i know how you feel and i thik you are looking for an excuse so you dont end up like me! LOL! i get it. dont worry they wont be 25 and still nursing,,,,i hope!

A lot of parents are shocked at how easily their child accepts it when mom simply says, at the next usual nursing time, "no, you're getting to be a big boy so we're not going to do that anymore. would you like a cup of water/milk/juice instead?" If you act nonchalant and like this is obviously the next step, often the child simply accepts it. Even moms who thought that weaning would be a horrible adjustment for their child found that this approached worked beautifully. You can always try it, and if he gets upset, try something else. It's an easy approach that doesn't really hurt anything to try. Good luck!

My daughter was 28 months when we weaned. By that time we had already weaned down to once per day (we did bedtime). We were also getting ready to move her to a big girl bed. We just talked about when she gets her big girl bed she is a big girl and doesn't need to nurse any longer. We shopped and talked about the big girl bed and nursing for about a month. When her bed was delivered, she was so excited to be a big girl that she didn't get upset about the missing part of the bedtime routine. Good luck!

I just weaned a couple of weeks ago, so I thought I'd share my story. My son is 32 months old & weaned on his own. He's my last baby, and because I had such a hard time BF w/my 1st, I was determined to "do it right" this time around. I had the same goal as you - to make it until 2 years, & then let him self-wean. Then I had to be put on some medication that wasn't entirely compatible with BFing, so I was in tears over that until I found LactMed & discovered that the meds only posed a very small risk. My husband didn't understand why I was so upset, & I was surprised myself. He was over 2, & yet I didn't feel like we were "done". I love the bond that we have together, & I feel like the decisions have been ripped from me one after the other when it came to nursing, that I wanted this to end on MY terms. So we continued nursing for another few months, & then when my anatomy class started this summer, my teacher announced that anyone who's nursing, pregnant, or trying to conceive might have to rethink taking the class. Apparently, the formaldehyde chemicals we would be exposed to aren't safe in those circumstances. Luckily, my son ended up self-weaning before I ever had to be around a cadaver, so I didn't have to worry about buying a respirator or dropping the class. I think the reason it worked is because my husband puts the kids to sleep at least 2 nights a week, when I'm in school. So my son has been used to not nursing every single night. A few months ago, I stopped offering the breast, & would let him ask for it if he wanted it. Either way, before bed, I'd hold him close & cuddle with him for several minutes, both because I wanted to, and because I knew that's why we both loved nursing, and I wanted to make up for it. Before I knew it, he wasn't really asking for it anymore. One day I realized I hadn't nursed in 4 days, & I realized bittersweetly that it was time. He seems so well-adjusted and happy, that I know it's the right time and decision. I'm so glad he did it on his own! I'm a huge lactivist too, but I really couldn't see myself nursing a 3-year-old (though of course, I support those who do!). Does your husband ever put him to sleep? If not, maybe try that. And I agree with the PPs to try & cut out the easiest nursing session first. And check out kellymom for weaning tips. Sorry this is so long-winded! Good luck to you!

My daughter self-weaned at about 2.5 years old.
It was my choice for self-weaning with both my kids.

However, my boob are my boobs. I taught my daughter that.
I taught my daughter 'manners' about it. Never grab me and to ask nicely.
Not in public.
If she asked, I would sometimes tell her 'Mommy is busy, in a minute..." then I would make myself 'busy' and NOT sit down or lay down. And she would then get distracted and forget about it.

A child will naturally, decrease in frequency.

Then one day, my daughter told ME "I don't drink from you anymore...." and then she giggled like she thought is was so ridiculous that she was nursing. And that was the end of it. Never again, did she 'nurse.'

My son, self-weaned at about 1 year old.
He would literally SLAP my boobs away, and HATE nursing by then, and was just done. He'd say "NO."

I would also talk with my daughter, and explain that one-day, she will not need to nurse.

Of course by this age, my daughter was eating regular foods and drinking whole milk.
She NEVER took a bottle either.

Your daughter at this age, does not 'need' only breastmilk. Going away for 2 days, is not harmful to her, nutritionally.
I am sure he has a 'lovey' and other things to comfort with?
I am sure he will be fine!

all the best,
Susan