2 YO Waking up Hungry

Updated on August 25, 2008
P. asks from Spartanburg, SC
15 answers

Last night my 25 month old woke up at 3:30 am, hungry and screaming for breakfast. I couldn't calm her down so I gave in after 15 minutes and gave her a cracker. She didn't want the cracker and kept screaming. After another 10 minutes I put her down and walked away, so she followed and asked for the cracker.
She did not eat her dinner last night and skimped on her bedtime snack. My SIL taught her 4 year old to eat her dinner by not giving in to snacks during the night.
So my question is, did I handle this right? Is 2 too young to train her like this?

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E.M.

answers from Atlanta on

Haven't you heard about the terrible twos? You handle the situation the best way you thought it could be handle Do not be so rough on you.

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D.P.

answers from Atlanta on

Who knows?

Sometimes, during a growth spurt, they really are hungry at midnight. Sometimes, it's a fun idea and distraction from having to fall back to boring sleep.

My daughter did it a few times and in the decision to err on the side of caution, I chose to feed her. Once it became regular, I started telling her at dinner, "This is the last thing you eat until morning so make it count." (not exactly in those words.)

-- could be trying to pull a fast one.
-- could be a growth spurt.
Go with your gut.

Keep in mind that even if you make a mistake, it's not fatal -- you're child will neither starve nor become spoiled overnight!

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S.M.

answers from Atlanta on

GROWTH SPURT! YAAAAY!!!

Waking up at 3am is definitely sub-optimal, no doubt about it, but I guarantee it's temporary. Unfortunately, I don't think you'll be able to get her to make the connection at dinnertime of "eat more now, be less hungry later." Not at 2 - I think your SIL was lucky that it worked at 4.
They live so much in the moment that I just don't think she'll "get it". And the whole thing about her "manipulating you" or "training you" is ludicrous, so don't worry about that at all.

Keep a box of oyster crackers upstairs until the spurt is over. If you get her the snack before she gets to the screaming point, she'll probably go back to sleep a lot easier, too. (And you'll be able to go back to bed faster.)
If you're worried about her teeth, rubbing her teeth with a damp washcloth will help, and it beats dragging her out of bed to brush her teeth again in the middle of the night.

And maybe you can give her something filling RIGHT before bed that she CAN'T refuse. (You said she skimped on her bedtime snack.) Maybe a yogurt fruit smoothie, or just milk and a scoop of protein powder and ice in a blender, or even chocolate milk or milk sweetened with honey. (I sometimes give my kids organic yogurt tubes, but they're kinda high in sugar.)

(Oh, and what you said about "thinking about adding more" -it sounds like they'll be around 3 years apart, which (in my experience and from others I've talked to) is the ideal spacing. The first is old enough to be able to handle it, and young enough to enjoy playing with the baby after a year or two. )

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C.S.

answers from Columbia on

Hi P.,
I am no expert by any means, but when my first son was about 9 months old my husband and I were at odds about training him to sleep through the night. I was for letting him cry a bit, but my husband was not. Of course, I was breast feeding my son and therefore I was the one getting up all night while my dear hubby slept (just a side note :-). At any rate, the doc said that he would not starve and could/should be sleeping through the night.

At 2 my son was still non-verbal, so I am not sure if I could have "reasoned" with him or not, you will have to be the judge of that with your daughter. However, if she can comprehend the concept, I would remind her at dinner about "what happened last night", and if she cries at night, remind her that she chose not to eat her dinner. Chances are she knows you don't ever want her to be hungry and could be using this a means to "get to you". Even if she is hungry (she could be growing), just as our doc said, she will not starve over night. I am a softy, and would probably give in even though I know it is wrong. However, you are a working mom, and probably don't want to get into the habit of doing this every night. You could try giving her a drink (instant breakfast or something) if she persists and you feel she is actually hungry. I know this is not much help, just some food for thought. The bottom line is that the docs would probably say to have her go back to bed.

Good luck!

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B.F.

answers from Atlanta on

Well, sorry but small children have small tummies and need to snack more then us. She should be eating about 6 times a day and that is normal, very. Milk and a cracker may have been a bit better since milk has something in it that helps you sleep like turkey does. If she didn't eat her dinner at her age this should be a bit of a concern..first off maybe she couldn't and needed a poop??? Look kids are growing and getting teeth I think maybe you might want to follow her and her body and needs. I don't know if I'd follow everything my SIL does either I mean what's right for you and your family is up to you and your family not what she does. Keep in mind too that your daughter has your genes not her's so what she does may not be what's good for you and your daughter. Sorry I think 2 is to young for this.

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S.H.

answers from Atlanta on

NO 2 years is NOT TOO young.

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S.G.

answers from Savannah on

This is the same rule at our house as well. But I don't follow it as strict with my 2yr old (27months) as I do with my 8yr old Daughter. At 2, they don't have the reasoning skills needed to fully understand that if I don't eat my dinner I'm going to be pretty hungry in the AM. And even at 2, they still go through eating fazes where for a few days you can't keep enough food in front of them and other days you think they will blow away due to lack of intake!! What I do with my son is allow him a healthy snack like a piece of fruit or some cereal. If he doesn't want one of the two things I offer (my son is a fruit snack junkie!), then he gets nothing and has to wait till morning. Trust me though, as the kids get older, they'll understand what happens when you don't eat your dinner!!!

Good luck!
S.

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R.D.

answers from Spartanburg on

You're fine! Two is definitely old enough to learn to eat at mealtimes and snack times and not during the night. She will learn this quickly and she certainly won't starve in the process.
P.S..... Your bio says you're thinking about adding to your family. I know this is totally unsolicited advice, but we recently added our second child, and it is wonderful. I recommend it!

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L.D.

answers from Atlanta on

They are never to young to train. Next time she doesn't eat her dinner tell her she will get no snack. If she wakes up in the middle of the night hungary, just tell her she should have eaten at dinner time. You need to be firm about this and not give into her just because she is crying, or you could say she will be training you, and she will keep doing it over and over. 2yr olds are smart, they know exactly what they are doing, don't under estamate them.

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S.H.

answers from Atlanta on

Has she woken up often lately, or just the one night? If she did not eat just the one night, maybe her tummy was upset at suppertime or maybe she is coming down with a tummy bug. I wouldn't feed her very much in the middle of the night because that would give a new pattern to everyone's schedules, but if it was just one night of not eating and waking up hungry, I would give her something to eat and not worry about it. One night is not a pattern. I would, however, say to her, "You are hungry because you did not eat your dinner last night". They understand a lot more than we think they do at the age of two. If this IS a pattern for her lately and happens frequently or regularly, explain to her at supper time that she will be hungry tonight if she does not eat her dinner and yes, refuse to feed her during the night. She's at the age now where she thinks the world revolves around her, and it does, but she is old enough to start learning that she has to adjust to the family's patterns, not the other way around.

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S.N.

answers from Charleston on

Hi P.! In my opinion 2 year olds understand much more than you think. I have a 2 year old daughter myself, and she knows the rules already. There is no eating in the middle of the night, and if she doesn't eat dinner, she doesn't get snacks throughout the day or at night. Milk has a lot to do with what they eat as well, so you want to make sure you're not giving her too much milk. My daughter won't eat much either with too much milk. Are you sure she's actually hungry, or playing you? When my daughter doesn't want to go to sleep, she always says, "I wanna eat". She's trying to stall bedtime. LOL.... You just can't give into them or they will continue on that same pattern. Let me tell you.... 2 year olds are very SMART. My daughter seems as though she knows EVERYTHING, and unsderstands EVERYTHING. This age is a HUGE testing stage, so we really want to be consistent with everything you are teaching them. It's hard work, but I have a sweaty pie of a daughter, and she actually has manners already, like saying "Thank You" without me telling her to. She is a very happy child, because teaching her young, the way you want them to behave, they won't have to be scolded as often and then everyone is HAPPY!!!! I have so much fun with my daughter, and I know how the heart brakes when they want something that we can't give them. But we need to stay strong, and it will all work out great in the long run. Remember that your daughter may have recently went through a growth spurt too, and isn't as hungry right now. Their eating habiting change contantly.

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K.W.

answers from Macon on

I think that Debbie P hit the nail on the head. Growth spurts are very common at this age. Use your own instinct. My 2 1/2 year old daughter has done that a few times, too. I have always fed her-and she always has always eaten all of it(I usually give her oatmeal), so I know she really was hungry. On the other hand, to postpone going to bed, she will pull out the old "I'm hungry", but won't eat what she asks for. You just have to use your own gut and see how your child responds both with feeding and without and that should help you know whether she is just playing you or if she truly is hungry.

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S.W.

answers from Atlanta on

looks like there are a wide variety of responses! I have to say that I probably would not give in to snacks during the night. I don't think two is too young.

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L.K.

answers from Atlanta on

At this age, if she's hungry enough to wake up, I'd definitely feed her. You'll both have a better night. I have a fast metabolism and low blood sugar and know what it feels like to be all-over-hungry rather than just having an empty stomach. No wonder babies cry so much when they're hungry! It's very uncomfortable. They can't store sugars in their liver like adults can. Plus, they're growing so much. I understand the idea behind getting children to eat their meals properly, but I can't let a child go hungry. Instead, I give fruits and vegetables for snacks. What difference does it make if the child eats carrots as part of dinner or before or after dinner? As long as the healthy stuff gets in there sometime, that's what counts. It's when snacks and desserts consist of unhealthy foods that the problems arise. You may want to look at www.loveandlogic.com. They have a great book for children under age 6. Your daughter is at a perfect age to start it.

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B.

answers from Augusta on

I think 2 is prob too young to try to train like that, she JUST turned 2 also, she's not almost 3, she's still pretty much a baby. We just started my son who turns 4 in october on " if you don't eat dinner you dont get snacks tomorrow" We dont eat dinner till 6-630 and bed time is 7pm so there's no time for bedtime snacks st our house,my kids also dont get desert if they dont eat dinner. Desert is a HUGE incentive for mine on eating dinner.

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