2 Year Old and Bed Time

Updated on May 04, 2010
L.B. asks from Walbridge, OH
7 answers

We've always had trouble getting our youngest to sleep. Our Oldest would practically put himself to bed, so this is all new to us. He's a snuggler, so he loves to cuddle, but even getting him to sit still long enough for that is a challenge these days. We've tried withholding naps, but he passes out at dinner time and then we're in real trouble. He naps really well still and I try to limit it to an hour, but he's hard to wake up. We start winding down for bedtime at 7:00 with a bath, then some coloring, then books, then off to bed by 8:30. At about 9:00, once my oldest falls asleep-they share a room-he's out of his room 10 or 15 times. He used to fall asleep after about an hour or so of this, but the last week or so it's been 11:30. I can't take it after 11 so I end up lying with him on the couch. Usually he's asleep in minutes. I did mess up when he was born and the 2 were in their own rooms-I put a TV in my oldest's room just to keep him there while I nursed the baby and my husband was home too late to help. It helps him unwind and fall asleep faster, but it seems to wind up the little one now that they are in the same room. At first it helped him fall asleep faster without having to be rocked for an hour, but now it's become a problem. I hope to get the TV out of the room this weekend, but what do I do? I know the 2 year old will still have a problem, and now the 4 year old won’t be happy (neither will my husband-I won’t be getting any support there). I'm a working Mom, a procrastinator, and a night owl...I need my nights back! Any suggestions?

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So What Happened?

Well, I put him to bed at 7:30 tonight and he fell asleep at 8:30!!!!! I'm not controlling the nap times anymore. He's had some allergy issues, so I'm letting him sleep as long as he needs....sometimes and hour, sometimes 2 1/2. We changed the type of book he's reading so he's not so excited. I let my 4 year old hang out with Dad while I'm doing that. I've changed the books we're reading for him as well, and he's falling asleep before we're finished! Love it!! It's been a good week for bedtimes here. Thanks for all of the advice!

More Answers

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S.S.

answers from Redding on

In my opinion, he is overtired and when that happens they get so wound up they can't sleep. Do they have to be in the same room? If they do, I would put the youngest to bed first so he's asleep when you put the older one in there. Yes, TVs are not such a good idea in their rooms. I would let the little guy sleep as long as he wants for his nap and then put him to bed by 7:30 at the latest. Sometimes when they start catching up on their sleep they can take long, long naps and still turn around and go back to sleep in just a couple of hours. He sounds chronically overtired and that makes it very hard to go to sleep. If it were me, as a last resort, and if I couldn't make it work in his room, and after letting him sleep as long as he wanted for his nap, ( I had to do this with my first one) I would put him to bed in my bed by 7:30 and no later, even if I had to lay down with him, telling him this is just for a few nights, and then very quietly transfer him to his bed after the other one was asleep and the house was quiet. When he starts catching up on sleep everything will seem better. Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful
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S.D.

answers from Indianapolis on

All research says that it's not good to have a TV in any bedroom, let alone a 4-year-old's. Tell him to unwind by reading books with a low-light.
It sounds like you're waiting too long to put him down and he's getting over-tired and over-stimulated.
When we were having night-time issues, I read that children under age five sleep best when bedtime is between 6:30 and 8. My boys both go to bed by 8 and get up around 8 with a 2-hour nap in the afternoon. The days that we have something going on and they go to bed late usually end up being struggles to get them to stay in bed. But the nights where we stick to a strict routine and bed time are easy.
Try moving his bedtime up 10 minutes each night or 15 minutes every-other night until bedtime is 8 or earlier.

1 mom found this helpful

K.L.

answers from Redding on

I had the same problem, you just have to be stong do not sleep with him. it sounds like he's grown accustomed to it. Do your normal routine before putting him in bed. Yes, he will get up, put him back to bed tell him you love him and good night and walk out. The 2nd time say i love you and put him back to bed. The 3rd time just put him back into bed but do not say anything. It will be hard and he will probably get up(maybe even throw a tantrum) several more times, but you must not give in, each time(no matter how many times or how long it has been) after the 2nd time do not say anything just but him in bed. you have to be strong and dont give up. Show him that you are mommy and that you make the rules. This is what worked for me and i hope it works for you.

1 mom found this helpful
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G.H.

answers from Cincinnati on

Best to get the TV out of there and replace it with a lullaby CD (or whatever soft background music is preferred) and a nightlight or lava lamp maybe. My oldest went through a phase, when he was 2, where he wanted me to plug in one of those fake fish aquariums that light up and the fish look like they are swimming around. My two boys have always shared a bedroom. This works for us! God bless!

1 mom found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

Is is possible to have them in their own rooms? If you have an extra room?

A tv in a kids room, to me is not a good idea anyway. But its not a crime either. Still, your oldest will feel jilted, just because of the younger one and he won't feel its "fair" if its taken away.

I would not restrict naps/nap length for your 2 year old. A nap is still needed. And restricting it does not help anyway, with him going to bed at night. So it does not work and is moot.

Both kids are in the same room. But they have different sleep modes. So, the oldest one is getting the upheaval. And a 2 year old is not self-directed nor at-will able to just conduct themselves on their own, much less for bed. They can't tell "time" nor are able to read a clock. So he doesn't know how late it is.
When a child is over-tired it also makes a child unable to sleep well, and unable to sleep, and they wake more.
Also, your 2 year old, seems to get a 2nd wind... after being over-tired. Being over-tired also often makes a child more "hyper" or active, even if they are tired. Then they can't sleep.

I imagine, all the in and out of the bed and bedroom by your 2 year old, must also affect the older child's sleep? It must be irritating. Unless he is a deep sleeper and does not notice or wake because of it.

Over-stimulation, when tired or over-tired, also makes a child unable to sleep.

When he gets up, keep everything dark and turned off. Don't engage or let him play. What do you do when he wakes and gets out of bed a million times? Do you let him stay out or put him back in bed? It must be noisy for your older child too.

I have no magic answers for you, sorry, just some rambling thoughts.
All the best,
Susan

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C.S.

answers from Chicago on

try taking the tv out see how it goes we have a 2yr old who doesnt sleep well still wakes 1-2 times a night we just put a tv in her room to see if it would help (it did not) but i usually end up laying in her bed or bring her to bed with me i say do what you have to you need sleep

A.C.

answers from Cincinnati on

I guess I only have 2 suggestions. First is music. Soft soothing music. Maybe classical or something like that. Once you lay him down, put it on softly in the background. It may help him fall asleep.

And then what worked best for my home... terrible as it may sound, I bribed my daughter. LOL! Yup. With fruit snacks. I told her if she stays in bed, she can have fruit snacks in the morning after breakfast. I even put them on her night stand. It worked like a charm. If she gets out of bed we would warn her once. After that, I'd take the fruit snacks away. It took about 2 nights for her to get the hang of the game & she went to bed super easy. We did this game for about one month or so and then it just kind of faded away... We no longer have to bribe her & she goes to bed on her own. It's great!

Good luck!

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