16 answers

Sharing Bedroom Split Bedtimes?

My two boys share their bedroom. They have bunks and are 3 and almost 6. They both go to bed at the same time 7.30pm but I'm wondering if this is such a good idea. The LO talks and talks and the BO can't sleep as they get into an argument. Or they get in and out of each others bed. Fine but the LO is a terrible sleeper and if left in with his brother wakes him up anyway with all the arm and leg movements or else the BO is stuck in a corner without covers. Then I thought about the BO when he was 3 he was going to bed at 8 because he had a nap during the day. But how can a 3 yr old stay up later than a 6 year old? Not to mention when the 3 yr old goes to bed he'll surely try and wake up his brother. The 3 yr old gets up fine in the am but the 6 yr old finds getting up harder. I'm thinking because of getting to bed late. He reads a lot in bed which I can limit to earlier but the talking is the issue. They have a great relationship and thie conversations are funny to listen to but not so fun in the am school run when he's dragging. What do you do with boys that share a room of different ages? Do you have a different bedtime?

3 moms found this helpful

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Thanks for the responses. It was sooooo good to read so many different ideas. So far, we are allowing the older one to go earlier to bed ( 1/2 hr) He's is absolutely out by the time his talkative brother is up. Everyone is sleeping better. At the weekend the older one gets to stay up later. It seems to work out. The older one 'understands' or at least tolerates it.

Featured Answers

My kids shared a room successfully for years. I always put the younger one down first and that gave the older one a little "mom and dad" time before bed. The older one got jammies on in the living room while younger one was going to sleep. That's what worked for us.

More Answers

GREAT parenting, M.--- your boys are so fortunate that you actually parent based on what they need rather than on what is ordinary. Your solution is perfect and clearly - the older boy is getting your praise and concern for his well being. I have dear friends with a 13 year old, 7, and 4 year olds. The 13 goes to bed FIRST and always has - she has a real high need for sleep- and her parents are very creative about finding ways to ''hide'' her terrible secret from her friends - but that's who ISOBEL is --- and her needs are what matter --- Your wonderful children are so lucky--- enjoy--

aka--- old Mom

4 moms found this helpful

We have the 6 boys and have been through this many times. It would be nice if they could ALL have their own rooms but we would have to have a mansion to do that. We have always tried to put them at the same time by putting the older one in our bed to fall asleep and the younger one in their room in his bed. When they are asleep "daddy" carries the one that is on our bed to his bed. We always put the older one in our bed because the little ones seem to get up and get into our things. You only have to do this for a little while because once they are big enough then you can just start putting them to bed in the same room again. Right now we have double the situation where our 3 year old shares with the 9 yr old and our 7 year old shares with our 5 (both 5 year old and 3 yr old still get into our things!!) so the 5 and 3 year old go to bed at 8 and the 7,9 go to bed at 9 so that the younger one is asleep already and they are old enough they don't bother the sleeping brother. I have friends that say "just put them in together, they will learn". But I enjoy it when they actually go to sleep and I get some quiet time. I can't go to bed until they are asleep so putting them in together if they won't go to sleep for 2-3 hours is just too exhausting to me. Good luck!!!

4 moms found this helpful

When we put our boys together they were a little younger than yours, but they did the same thing. If we put them to bed at the same time, they would just play. We started putting our 18 month old to bed about a half hour to an hour before the 4 year. That way the baby was asleep before big brother went to bed and he felt like he got something special for being older. They do wake each other up in the morning, but at night it worked really well. Then when the older one went to bed we would sneak in the room and try to be as quiet as we could. most of the time it worked. I think separate bedtimes, no matter which you decide to put down first, works better than at the same time. Good luck.

3 moms found this helpful

Its awesome your boys are such good friends. I thing if you get an egg timer and set it for a resonable amount of time that they can talk and unwind might work. When the bell goes off its time to be quiet. I can't imagine not having pillow talk with my husband to help unwind. I remember sharing a room with 2 sisters, we used to talk at least 30 minutes before falling asleep.

1 mom found this helpful

You have to let them work it out. Make sure they have a small toy to play with and just enforce the rule that they have to stay in their beds. I had the same trouble and for a while my youngest would wake up the older one, who is special needs and was on meds to help him sleep. I finally had to enforce it with harsh words.

1 mom found this helpful

I have 2 little girls that are 6 and 3 as well, they share a room with a bunk bed, and they go to bed at 7:30 (ish) too! But I usually put my three year old in my room and have her fall asleep in my bed, then I move her to her own bed when I go upstairs for the night. It works out well, sometimes my 3 year old will beg to sleep in her own bed with her sister so I will let her on the condition that if she talks and keeps the 6 year old up she has to go back to my bed. My 6 year old is in 1st grade and really needs her sleep, she will sleep over 12 hours if I let her! I hope this helps, good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

If you could seperate the bunks that would help. I have a girl and boy sharing a room and put up floor to ceiling drapes along their beds so they could each have their privacy. The girl is older than the boy and so I have them get into bed at the same time, pull the drapes turn out the lights. While my little boy goes to sleep my older girl, will read for at least an hour. I put a small reading lamp attached to the wall above her bed. Works good for us and then they have their bonding snuggle time in the morning.
Good luck

1 mom found this helpful

I say stagger their bedtimes and resolve your issue.
I have a four year old and a seven year old and they have to share a bedroom. This was a huge problem trying to get them settled in and them goofing off, the talking. Why would you put your three year old to bed earlier? Even with a nap the 3 year old should be asleep before the older one in my opinion.

I say it a good idea to put the 3 year old to bed forty five minutes EARLIER, a three year old needs more sleep then a 6 year old does and it helps empower the older one too.

I enjoy just some one on one with my oldest after my youngest has gone to bed, she has been in school all day and it is nice to just hang with her.

My youngest is in bed at 7:30 and my oldest in bed by 8:15. My son is sound asleep by the time I put his sister to bed. Of course he doesn't nap any longer but he is always asleep and it doesn't disrupt him when I go tuck my daughter in.
I have a very strict rule that if the youngest gets up before everyone else he is to lay there and be quiet until his sister or I get up!! It took me two weeks really laying down this rule and having consequences if he did wake his sister up! You have to be tough on this one but it paid off as he will get up, go pee and go back to sleep now if he wakes up too early.

I have my 2 boys sharing a room (one is 7 and the other is 2) and they both go to bed at the same time. We have more problems with our 3 girls in the same room at bedtime than we do with the boys. We have been really clear that when they get to bed, it is time for sleeping and not playing. Often they are asleep with in 10 minutes of getting settled. Good luck.

I also have an almost 2 year old and a 5 year old that share a room. My tot does not fall asleep well with others in the room and my 5 year old does not just fall asleep if he is not ready. My 5 year old has never required a lot of sleep and has always stayed up until about 9:30-10pm, but he is up by 8:30 am so I'm not concerned. So I put my tot to bed at 8:00-8:30 pm (and he wakes up about 7:30 am) and I put the 5 year old to bed when he is ready to fall asleep, about 9:30.

Stagger the bed times, one way or another and don't deal with the head ache of sleep time issues. Before my tot was born, and the now 5 year old was littler, my older two kids got upset that he didn't go to bed with them, I just let them know he didn't get up as early...and it diffused the problem.

My kids shared a room when they were younger and I would put the young one down first. Once he would go to sleep I'd have my daughter go down. If you're worried about putting your older one down at 8, just think by the time they settle down and actually sleep it is about 8 anyway.

Good luck.

it is said that tots need less sleep than school aged children. . interesting, i know, but perhaps letting your little guy go in later when he's actually tired will curb the talking and let big one get enough sleep, or cutting out nap for little one so he's ready for bed at the same time. . good luck, that's a tough situation. but fun that they have agood relationship.

My kids shared a room successfully for years. I always put the younger one down first and that gave the older one a little "mom and dad" time before bed. The older one got jammies on in the living room while younger one was going to sleep. That's what worked for us.

I have a 5 year old and a 9 year old that share a room. I put them to bed at 8 with the timer on their tv for 30 minutes when the tv goes off it is time to go to sleep. I know some say no tv in the bedroom but this works out great for my 2, sometimes they are even asking to turn the tv off early. Also they have bunk beds and go to sleep great when they are each in their own bed, but sometimes they want to sleep together that is when the trouble starts. I have to insist they sleep in their own beds, and allow them to sleep together only on weekends.

My boys shared a room until just recently. My BO is the later sleeper too. LO loves to talk, BO would just like to sleep. I put LO to bed 1/2 hour earlier so he'd knock out before BO went to bed. If he was still up, I'd put him in the big brothers' room (2 of our boys lived w/their mom) until BO was asleep & then put LO back to bed.
They too have bunk beds-now they've got their own in their rooms. My BO is a restless sleeper so he was on the bottom (bonus, it's the darker spot to sleep). They were only allowed to sleep together on weekends-school nights were out.

Our two boys are six and two. We put the six-year-old in bed at 8:30 and the two-year-old in at 9:00. Our six-year-old is in first grade, so it doesn't bother him that he goes to bed first. He knows he has to get up for school and that the two-year-old gets to nap the next day and he doesn't. Believe it or not, this also helps our two-year-old to be quiet when he goes to bed. We say, "Shhh. Don't wake up brother." We sneak into the room and be lays right down and goes to sleep. When we have tried to put the two-year-old to bed earlier, it just didn't work. His body wasn't ready to sleep. I think he enjoys that half hour when the older kids are already in bed and it is just him and mom or him and dad reading. It took us a while to figure out this system. It works for us. I hope you find something that works for you!


Required Fields

Our records show that we already have a Mamapedia or Mamasource account created for you under the email address you entered.

Please enter your Mamapedia or Mamasource password to continue signing in.

Required Fields

, you’re almost done...

Since this is the first time you are logging in to Mamapedia with Facebook Connect, please provide the following information so you can participate in the Mamapedia community.

As a member, you’ll receive optional email newsletters and community updates sent to you from Mamapedia, and your email address will never be shared with third parties.

By clicking "Continue to Mamapedia", I agree to the Mamapedia Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy.