2 1/2 Year Old with Clothing Issues!!

Updated on December 12, 2007
M.M. asks from Natick, MA
8 answers

I have a wonderful 2 1/2 year old who is very sweet, except that she cries ALLLLLL the time lately. Every time she doesn't get her way, she cries. Our latest problem is... CLOTHING. I'm SURE some of you must have or are dealing with this, as I know it is a common thing. She will only wear dresses (fine) but doesn't want to put leggings or tights on under. Its FREEZING out and she refuses to put them on. SO, we start each morning with her throwing a fit when I tell her she has to put pants on under or she either can't wear the dress, or can't leave the house. I have tried various tactics... don't put the pants on until its time to leave, take out the clothes the night before, distract with a show and just put them on her... they all result in a fit. Not every day, but most days. ANY tips or new tactics would be greatly greatly appreciated. I mean, it is what it is and maybe I just have to deal with the crying until this phase passes, but I hate starting my days like this.

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P.C.

answers from Springfield on

have you tried offerring two outfits and let her pick which one she wears. She still has the final decision - but of which of the acceptable outfits to wear.

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M.A.

answers from Boston on

I have a daughter who is now 8 and when she was about that age she started with clothing issues when we had to go to preschool I thought she was being difficult along some other issues she was having, until her preschool teacher approached me with sensory integratration disfunction. A lot of us have some sort of sensory issues but with some kids it affects them greater than most of us. My daughter also started with the only dress thing, she would wear tights but not pants. Over the years it has been different phases I could write a book to you about my daughter, but I thought you might want to look into. The thing that you have to try and remember if that is your daughter's problem that she isn't doing it to be difficult. Look it up on the internet you might find some good advice. Mari

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R.W.

answers from Boston on

i feel your pain! my son, now almost 7, did this all the time and still does.
the socks have to have no seams, the underwear and pants have to be oversized and he will only wear shortsleeves.
I think it is like a sensory thing. Sometimes I can get hime to give it 10 to 15 minutes and tell him the feelings will go away, but when he was young.
It was not worth the fight, It is awful.
Just keep trying different styles until she likes something.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.B.

answers from Boston on

I feel your pain. My 2 1/2 year old son refuses to wear a coat and puts up a stink (yelling "no", stripping off the clothes, crying, etc) when he doesn't like the clothes I have ready to put on him. With him I have to give 2 choices- he always picks the same things to wear, but I don't have to deal with the tantrums. I am very matter of fact about the choice "you can wear this or this- what do you choose". This usually works okay. Sadly, he has some clothes that are so cute but I doubt they will ever get worn! Winter coats are the same way- these are your choices. A couple of times I have let him out without the coat- he gets cold fast and asks for it. Good luck!

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M.B.

answers from Lewiston on

I say to just let the natural consequences take over. Fine she doesn't want to wear pants, she will have to be cold then. As long as she is not going somewhere where she will be forced to go outside to play or something like that. It will be uncomfortable but it cannot hurt her going from the house to the car.

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S.K.

answers from Boston on

I had a similar problem with mittens for my son when he was that age. Basically I let him go out without mittens. It took about half the winter and some painfully cold hands, but he figured out that without mittens he had to come in sooner because his hands hurt. I didn't have any problems after that. Unless you think your daughter will get injured I'd advise not fighting, just bring along the leggings and have them ready to offer when she realizes the consequences of her choice.

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A.B.

answers from Boston on

You may try letting her out the way she wants for a little while. It probably won't take long for her to realize how uncomfortable it is to be cold. She shouldn't get a cold in the few minutes it takes to get to the car or the store, but it should prove your point.Obviously, if she has a weak immune system, this may not be the best idea! Good luck!

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M.W.

answers from Boston on

Sounds like she is testing her bounderes.

Our daughter did the same thing and that is when we introduced the marble cup. We used an older pastic bowl that SHE decorated. If she got dressed without crying, she got a marble. When she brushed her teeth, she got a marble. When she brushed her hair, she got a marble. BUT, if she cried, or was difficult, SHE had to give a us a marble out of her cup. She was so excited about seeing her mable cup get filled, she started gettign dressed on her own and then everything else was done independly too. At first we rewarded the behavior, then it just became her routine and she stopped looking for marbles for getting dressed.

When she has 15 or more mables, she get to do something special McDonald playland or she can use them to buy a small toy for under $5.00. The key to this working, is she has to take ownership of the cup. She makes it, she gives you the marble, she puts the marbles in. We use the big mables for extra special doings and count them as 2 marbles.

Our daughter is now 5 and we still use it. If she is misbehaving, we give her the 3 count and out comes a marble. First we used it for daily routine things, like getting dressed. Now we use it for helping out, doing chores or when she does somthing that needs rewarding like usig her good manners.

We even have one for her best friend that is over a few time sa week. When they amke a mess and clean it up they get some. Then when there is 15 or more, they get to have a movie night or sleepover.

Let me know how it goes. Best of luck.
M.

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