Thank You I Have a Hard Time Getting My Daughter to Wear Certain Clothes...

Pick your battles.
Put the summer clothes away.
Make notes to yourself about how it's going now.
They'll be helpful when she gets to 11-12.
Remember to breathe.

5 moms found this helpful

For my girls, this was totally normal. They get their mind set on a certain style for comfort or whatever reason and there's no changing it.

I've asked other moms over the years and my, oh my, do you hit a nerve with some. They will claim if you give in on this, then what battle will you lose next? I walk away thinking that mother has huge control issues, as if it's a reflection on them. And guess what, those kids who grow up with that excessive level of control don't turn out to be confident individials. They turn out needing to make mom happy or doing drugs to escape the rigidness.

And I am here to tell you that my oldest daughter is truly one of the most giving, caring, smart, funny, successful, brightest and talented kids a parent could ever dream of having. And she wanted to wear her pretty white slip everywhere when she was 5. In the winter I insisted she wear leggings and long sleeves underneath. Do people even buy slips anymore?

So, I firmly believe that a girls desire to pick and choose her own clothes out young is fine by me. Just keep them clean.

We too have received amazing, expensive clothes from nice department stores, or Gymboree, or hand me downs from cousins and my girls only liked certain clothing items. All my kids are very tactile dressers, meaning they want the clothes to be soft against their skin.

As they say, choose your battles, and i know for a fact that when I see a perfectly dressed kid at school, that mom did it.

5 moms found this helpful

Is this a battle you REALLY need to be fighting??? As long as her clothes are weather and age appropriate, I say let her be. It's really not worth the stress and arguements. My 4 year old runs around the house in shorts and tank tops. I DO make her wear pants (of her choosing) when we leave the house, but honestly? I just don't care what she's wearing - I've got more important things to worry about!

4 moms found this helpful

Pick your battles, Mom.

Is it really that important if she wears her summer clothes to bed rather than her nice jammies?

I get that you don't want to "waste" her nice outfits, but in all likelihood, this is a passing phase, and with any luck, it will pass while she still fits in her cute birthday outfits!

I will say that from this point on, I'd probably steer clear of getting her too many clothes without taking into consideration what she's into... They do have their own opinions, don't they? LOL

4 moms found this helpful

I agree with picking your battles. Plus, the more you focus on it, the more she will keep it going.

Maybe you can agree on a compromise with her? Like 2x a week, she'll wear something different to school but change after school - or something that you both agree with.

As far as bedtime, if she's going to bed without a hassle and if she's sleeping well --- what she wears is a non-issue as far as I'm concerned.

If this is the worst of it, you're in GREAT shape. :0)

3 moms found this helpful

They do that.
My daughter did and does that.
Girls.
I don't make her wear what she does not like.
I get her clothes SHE likes. I know her tastes and what she likes.
Within good taste.
She dresses fine on her own. It is age appropriate.
My daughter USED TO wear leggings. Now does not. Now she wear jeans. Before she would NOT.
Girls.

They do that. I don't force my daughter about it.
I like the way she dresses... she dresses fine. It is her.

all the best,
Susan

3 moms found this helpful

It is a stage. Here's what you do - first, put away all the summer clothes, including weeding out everything that's too small. Then find all the winter clothes and weed out the one's that don't fit too. That leaves everything that is appropriate for her to wear now. Pull out your nighties (you have some somewhere, right?) and start wearing them, along with a bathrobe to keep you warm. No more sweats until she's in the bed asleep. Wear your jeans and ask your husband to tell you how beautiful you look in them in front of your daughter.

That's co-opting her to wear what you want her to instead of forcing it. She can wear leggings with dresses, skirts, jeans, etc. Tell her that. She might not have thought of it.

Good luck!
D.

2 moms found this helpful

Let her wear what she wants. It's her body.

2 moms found this helpful

Totally normal. My daughter, at the tender age of 2.5 decided she would wear nothing but dresses..and did so until she was almost 6. I was finally able to talk her into bike shorts under sundresses that last summer or 2..but she would only put them on for playground/park time..then off they came. So it was simple cotton knit dresses and cable knit sweater tights for her each winter, and good snowpants (she lived in Lands End clothes most of those almost 4 years..indoor and outdoor wear!)

As a small child, I mostly wore my big brothers old tshirts as nighties to bed (due to money and comfort issues). I have a thing still for no tags..comfy seams..and all that. My daughter wouldn't wear jeans for a long time as a young girl either...its a comfort thing I am sure!

I would just make sure she is wearing leggings that are thick enough (not see thru like tights)...and start letting her be part of the process in choosing her wardrobe..its time! Leggings are very "In"....get her some cute inexpensive boots...some tunic tops if she wants...but let her help you pick!

Good luck!

2 moms found this helpful

I would let her wear what she wants during the day. My daughter is the opposite of yours.. she likes her denim jeans and running clothes, lol. No dresses or legging outfits for her! She is 9 now, and I have learned (starting around age 5) to consult her and get her input before buying her any clothes. I ask her straight up: "If we buy this, are you going to wear it?" If she says no, then I put it back on the rack.

As for PJ's at bedtime... I would be a little more insistent with this issue. Maybe have her wear the PJ's she has, but get her input on the next PJs you buy for her (when these wear out or are outgrown). But truly, to me there is more to bedtime PJs than just the fact that they are PJs and not street clothes. If she just gets into bed with her all day clothes on, then all the dirt, pollen, animal dander, germs, whatever... that she's been exposed to all day long are going into the bed with her and onto the sheets. Unless you are washing the bed linens DAILY, then I would insist on her putting on jammies to keep all the daytime germs from getting into her bed.

My son has a lot of allergies, and sometimes I have to make him take a bath before bed... to get all the stuff out of his hair. Otherwise it ends up on his pillow and he just breathes it all night long. It's the same with clothing... so even though he often WANTS to go to sleep with the same Tshirt he's worn all day (he's 12-- a "tween" lol) I insist he change it. He can wear a clean Tshirt, or an undershirt.. I really don't care... just not what he's worn all day long.
Yes you have to pick your battles.... so think about what is important to you. And teach your daughter WHY those things matter to you. She'll be fine and you won't squelch her independence by requiring jammies. :) You could even compromise: She chooses daywear, you choose nightwear. :)
hth

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I wouldn't sweat it. As long as she is warm when she goes outside, I wouldn't worry if she is wearing leggings and a T shirt under her winter coat :) Pick your battles - and now that you know she loves leggings, get her a bunch for Christmas with flowy tops to complement. Good luck - I have a 4-1/2 year old daughter w/ a strong personality and it's not easy sometimes!

1 mom found this helpful

Our 5 1/2 year old has pretty much refused to wear jeans since the beginning of this fall............ She wants to wear dresses EVERY day or if I push pants, comfy pants. I buy the Gymboree soft pants with flare legs so I can still dress her cute and girly with the matching shirts. If we stay home for the day, I let her wear ANY dress she wants. Usually ends up being a summer dress.

I say, let it go and let her wear what she's comfortable with.

1 mom found this helpful

i agree with lesley, however if you really want to put an end to it, here's what i did, my daughter has A LOT of nice clothes, but always wears the same thing over and over as most of us do, so when she wears one out fit, after being washed, i put it up high in her closet so she cannot reach to ensure all her clothes are circulated and worn, her options are what's in reach, if it's out of reach, it's out of the question until i move it.

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If she likes leggings, that's not so bad. Try getting her to wear a skirt over the leggings for style and see if she likes that. It seems like mommy is kind of laid back, casual kind of girl and she wants to be like you. I think if you were dressing up, she might be tempted to dress up too. I wouldn't push it too much if they are appropriate for her age.

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Well, when my 6 yr old daughter goes to school (1st grade), I tell her what the weather permitted outfit is. Ex: today you need to wear shorts and a Tshirt, or pants and a long sleeve. Whatever she picks out is pretty acceptable even if it only just barely matches!!! At school, I never allow a dress/skirt etc because I know how she is on the monkey bars :). How many leggings does she have? After they are dirty, just tell her she must wear the other super cute outfits and let her choose between them or you will choose them for her - very matter of factly with a smile on you face :)

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Just a stage. She will get over it. You have to choose your battles. As
far as bedtime, she wants to be like you. Enjoy that because it won't
last. LOL. Again how important is it and is it worth battling over. Only
you can answer that question.

1 mom found this helpful

Wow, I feel not so alone anymore. I'm fairly flexible about play clothes, but my daughter wants to live in PJs all day!!! She's 4 and determined she says that they are nice and warm and I try to tell her that her play clothes some of them feel the same way. Ah, what a wonderful phase. Just don't get her so many outfits. This too shall pass...eventually. :)

This year the gym teacher announced they have gym every day and they are NOT to wear skirts or dresses to school. Also, they are to wear tennis shoes. We even got a note home.

DD never has worn jeans, lives in leggings and tshirt tops.
I didn't battle her because it wasn't that important to me.

We did make sure to take photos in the super expensive fancy dresses that Grandma buys(a size too small). Then we donated them to a family that needed church dresses.

My husband thought my daughter was just being disobedient and bratty.
Then I asked several moms at school. All the girls have drama in the morning and try to avoid certain things. Her best friend wears only jeans. Any shorts must be denim and look like jeans. Her mom has tons of leggings she won't wear. She paid cash to her daughter so she would wear a dress to an event.

Another mom makes her child wear Christmas type dresses to church and certain events. They end up in a screaming match with the kids in tears. Then they don't enjoy the event as I just witnessed on Saturday.

I can totally relate! I have had this frustration with my daughter, who's 7, for a few years now. She really hates jeans and would be happy wearing a skirt, dress or cotton yoga pants every day. But she's got a drawer full of jeans, khakis and cords that I don't want to just sit there. They're cute! And she'd wear her crappiest play t shirt any day over her nicer shirts and sweaters. I have had this same question go through my head--is this something that she should get to decide every day or should I get my way sometimes? We kind of compromise--Every once in a while I'll tell her to wear this or that pair of jeans but most days I'll help her pick out a nice outfit with a skirt, dress or leggings. My job is just making sure she's dressed appropriately for the weather and that she doesn't clash horribly and that the clothes in her closet get worn in the rotation enough so they aren't wasted money.

Here's one thing I do now... my kids are 16,13 and 8 and of course will wear the favorites. once they are in the wash, they stay in the laundry hamper a few extra days, even a week or more if necessary. I sometimes will give in and wash something and then hide it in the top of my closet. They will have to give in and wear something else, therefor no battle. They will wear the other clothes once ina while so you feel better. Really, what difference does it make what they wear to bed. Let them wear their clothes and they will soon realize how comfy pjs really are!

My son, now 8, has refused any pants with zippers (i.e. jeans, khakis) since forever it seems. First I had to resign myself to his demands, but now I respect it. He wants to be comfortable. I remember wearing itchy, super uncomfortable clothes at his age and wish my mom didn't make me. For special occasions, a day or two in advance I tell him he'll have to wear khakis, a long-sleeve button shirt, etc. to get him used to the idea and he always cooperates.

It sounds like their is two or maybe three things going on here. She wants to be comfortable, hence the leggings! Five year olds are always running around, playing and moving around, why wouldn't she choose the most comfortable thing to wear. She want's to wear the same type of clothes as you in the evenings because she loves you and wants to be just like you... That's cute! Let her wear what she wants to bed, as long as she is warm enough.
Also, if you are making a big deal about her clothing choices, she may be wearing what she knows you don't want her to wear, just because it gets a reaction.

She sounds like she has a mind of her own and it's great that she is allowed to use her decision making skills in that way!

Hi again D.---My neighbor girl is like that. She is 9. I personally think that you can do the leggings thing WITH the right tops. As others have said, leggings and tights are really fashionable right now. Maybe the two of you could spend a little time looking at a couple of fashion magazines to see how everything is put together.

I am trying to discourage my neighbor girl from wearing them so often (my daughter and I are part-time caregivers when mom and dad are out of town or work late). The big thing I see is that her clothes are mostly too small for her and often a bit tattered. Right now, maybe ok, but when she gets into middle school she will start to be singled out by other girls for the way she dresses. So, it is a fine line we tread in helping to suggest 'style' to our little ones.

Maybe in the future you could lay out a couple of outfits for her to choose from, with those including leggings and tights. Give her options but those options will be from clothing you want her to wear. I do agree that sometimes you do have to pick your battles so maybe some days you fight that fight and some days just let her be.

Good luck. D.

My daughter will be 5 next month, and hasn't liked wearing jeans in years. I think I started it when she was potty training - she wore lots of sweatpants because they were easier to get on and off. Now, she will wear only one pair of jeans. Otherwise she doesn't like the snap and says it hurts her belly. But she would wear a dress everyday, if she had seven to wear. With the PJ's, did you try covering her with a heavier blanket and letting her wear the t-shirt? My daughter is pretty warm, so she wears lighter clothes and is still ok. Good luck!

I have trouble getting my daughter to wear ANYTHING on her legs except shorts and skirts- she HATES to have them covered and would prefer to wear a tank top year round. She is 3.5 years old. We have a run that she can wear that stuff to bed but it has to be CLEAN (not something she wore that day because then there are germs from school or outside on them and we don't want to get her bed dirty because then she will get sick -- and not be able to ______ [fill in the blank with something she like] - we use swim lessons. We also tell her that she has to wear PANTS or fuzzy tights to school or outside but we let her wear what she wants at home. You might try a home versus school thing -- tell her that 2 days a week she can wear leggings and 3 she must wear what you want because she is wasting all those awesome outfits .... and that she can change into her beloved leggings when she gets home. Also, let her choose her weekend outfits unless you are doing something special -- in which case, mommy chooses. Good luck! :) Stubborn little gals when it comes to clothes, aren't they!

Do you want someone to force you to wear certain things? If she chose the jeans, then yes make her wear them. If not let her pick for a bit, she is probably quite comfy in leggings. I like jeans, (oops have to put some in the dryer)...and who cares what we have on in bed? There are so many other things to worry about just enjoy her good health and zest.

My daughter has gone through (and continues to to through) clothing phases. When she was about 4 she would only wear dresses. Then for a number of years she would only wear "comfy" pants (yoga-type pants). It can definately be frustrating. However, the way I look at it children have very few opportunites to make their own decisions - and clothing is one of them. I have let my daughter wear whatever she wants (as long as it is appropirate). It's one of the battles I chose not to fight. Ultimately, it's a personal decision between you and your daughter.

As far as the pj's - she wants to be like mom. That is normal. Try buying her some boxers or pj pants and tank tops or t-shirts. Again, you have to decide which battles to fight. Then you may have to adjust what clothes and pajamas you buy for her (and you can convey this to friends and family when they ask what to buy for your daughter for a gift).

Good luck!