2 1/2 Year Old Is a Picky Pooper!!

Have you tried letting her take her little potty into another room and hiding with it or shutting a door?

My oldest was the same way. She refused to poop on the potty. She would actually wear panties all day and when she wanted to poop she would put on her own diaper (not a pull-up). I finally gave up and one day when she was 3+ she went in and pooped on the potty and that was the end of it. She has been very independent with her toileting ever since. Good luck.

Every child has a unique way. We called my daughter the closet pooper because she always went to the closet to poop. She was very bright and understood the process but chose to do it in a dark and hidden place. Just keep correcting her and gently showing her where it needs ot be done.

My daughter is 9 and I have a 5 yr old and a 1 yr old. My daughter went through the same thing. For some reason it seems to "scare" or upset some kids. My ped.told me about this and it worked for her. Tell your daughter when you know she is pooping in her pants that it is okay to do that but she has to go in the bathroom to do it. Not sit on the pot or anything but that the bathroom is the place to do that even in her pants. Don't ask me why this works but within a couple of weeks my daughter was interested to go in the pot and not her pants and if nothing else she will do it in her own time. Just don't push too much. Good luck to you. Let me know how it turns out.

T. A.

I just went through the exact same thing with my 27 mo old daughter. I happened upon a newspaper article that talked about "stool refusal." It suggested taking all of the child's clothes off and putting them in the bathroom. You will have to put a baby gate up in the door. Tell her that she will have to stay in there until she goes poo poo in the potty. Once she goes, she can put her clothes back on and play. Be sure to have her tell you when she is finished. I waited to do this until it was apparent that my daughter needed to poop. She did a little "poo poo" dance and fuss. I took all of her clothes off and put the gate up in the door. She cried for 5 min and then she went. The next day, I had to do it again. She only cried for a minute. We have not had any problems since then!

I have a 15 year old girl and 24 year old boy, so it has been a while since the potty training days! However, I remember that my daughter would not use the potty at all at first. Come to find out, it was the toilet paper that upset her. It had designs and pretty little designs on it. She felt bad about flushing the pretty paper down the scary toilet. Once we switched to plain white tp, all went well! It is amazing how funny our kids perceptions can be. It took many discussions to figure this out with my daughter. Maybe your child is having a quirky response to something we would not even think about. Good luck!

I had this problem with my boys and occasionally still do! I've read all sorts of information about this and the one thing everything states is do not push it. If you push your little girl to poop in the potty it's going to upset her even more.Don't worry, she'll do it in her own time. Good Luck!!

N.,
I went through the same thing. I had to show my daughter that it was ok to poop on the potty. I had to take her in the bathroom with me when I needed to poop and show her it was ok. Also, she may have a fear that part of her is going down the drain too. She will probably come around with no problems. Be patient. It took my daughter until she was 3 1/2 before she got the hang of pooping in the potty. Now, she is totally great. She goes to the potty anytime she needs to. Very occasionally she will have an accident, but hey, accidents happen. Just keep your head up and set up a reward system. This is the approach we took and it worked!

I would keep her in pull-ups until she's mastered the potty. Pull-ups go up and down so she can pee and pull them back up.

My eldest was also upset. We coached her. I would sit there and sing and she would cry then she would sing. Each time she was successful we would make a big deal out of it and do a happy dance.

Once she was ready (3 months before her third b'day) we were fine. But until then you have to be patient.

Now it has been a year and everyone is happy with the potty...we can go by ourself regardless of the hour of day and we can wipe...in fact, we have no issues with public bathrooms.

I used jelly beans for both of mine. My son was exactly like your daughter though...he was upset over it. My father told me to let him run around naked (it was summer) outside, and let himn watch himself poop. He did, and the problem was almost instantly solved. He started to use the potty, and when he did go to the bathroom, I gave him one jelly bean every other time, than every three times, until I stoppped completely.

Good luck!

Hey N.,

I can so feel your pain. Due to a kidney issue, my daughter was almost 3 before we were able to start potty training. I have to say that your daughter is doing the same as my daughter did. It was the most frustrating thing in the world to know that she knew when she had to poop, but refused to do it on the potty. There were a couple times that she held her poop for a few days because she didn't want to go in the potty (I called her doctor on that one and was told that she will go when she has to).

I then caught her one day just as she was starting to sneak away to get ready to poop in her pants and ran her to the bathroom - literally! She did end up pooping on the toilet and discovering that it didn't hurt her to go on the potty. We then called everybody that we knew so that she could tell them that she went poop on the potty. Everyone that we called knew that I was potty training and made such a big deal out of it that she loved having everyone tell her that she was a big girl now and after that, things seemed to fall into place.

I do have to mention that my daughter HATED the potty chair. I have the type that the top comes off and makes an adapter for the regular toilet. I did try the adapter on the big toilet and she would use that to pee in. However, the day that I ran her in to poop, I didn't put the adapter on and she used to regular toilet without it. I don't know if not using it made her feel like a big girl too, but that seemed to be part of the success because I tried the adapter after that and she wouldn't use it at all, even to pee. She informed me that she was a big girl now and didn't need the baby ring.

I hope that this helps you and trust me when I say, I do feel your frustration over this. I know exactly where you are and it will happen for you too that your daughter will start using the potty for everything. Good luck!

C.
Stay at home mom of 2 wonderful girls - ages 3 1/2 and 14 months

I too....have the same problem with my 2 1/2 year old daughter....it seems that she can go to daycare and spend about 6-8 hrs there and have no problems going....but as soon as she gets home she decides hey now I don't have to pee in the potty anymore....it upsets me alot because we've been working with her alot we started when she was about 1 1/2 to 2 because she started taking off her pampers things of that nature....so we figured she was ready....she does have her weeks where shes pees for us at home with no problems but its like she realizes hey....if i keep doing this that means i have to stinky in the pot too....now that is a whole other challenge....i can count on one hand how many times shes actually went in the pot....i just try to remain calm and try not to be too h*** o* her and still let her know its wrong and that big girls dont do that.....i'm not sure if you punish your little one...and honestly i'm not sure what to do.....do you have any advice....

Many years ago when my 10 yr old was that age. We had the same problem. What helped me was our Doctor asked her if she was peeing in the potty and she nodded yes. How about #2 and she put on a sad face and shook her head NO. So, her Doctor said when you do poop in the potty I WANT TO KNOW.. CALL ME! LOL :-) (you know it worked!) now of course you can't talk to the doctor right away but you can call somebody... {I think most children don't like knowing that something has come out of them and landed in the potty. They think they did something wrong} I see this alot in the pre-school class that I teach..
Good luck...
S.

It took my son a while to get the pooping in the potty chair down. His grandma finally promised him a "big surprise" the first time he pooped in his potty chair and when he did, he got to go to the pet store and pick out his very own beta fish. (His aunt has one that he always wanted to feed.)

But if something like that doesn't work, and she's not having accidents, I would recommend that you just put her in regular panties and if she poops in them, have her help you clean up the mess. A couple times of that might be enough to do the trick. (Of course, you will probably have extra laundry to do for a day or two.) Also, if you have a general idea of when she usually needs to poop -- i.e. shortly after meals or whatever -- just take her and put her on the potty chair and read a couple of books or something like that for 10-15 minutes and see if anything happens. And remember, praise her like crazy when she does poop in the potty!!

My 2 1/2 refuses to poop when we are in the bathroom! She says "Leave you!". She wanted her privicy! ONce we figured that out, we have no more accidents!

This is so normal! Try taking the poop out of the diaper and placing into her potty chair so she sees that is where it belongs....then rejoice that it is there so she sees how happy it makes you. Of course, do not go over-board and do not get angry with her that she poops in her pants.

This is ****totally**** normal! Just not very fun. Sorry.

Of the kids I babysat and my nieces & nephews, I'd have to say that almost every one of them did this. I figured it was somehow scary or felt weird to them to have the poop fall into the potty (maybe water splashed up on them?) instead of into their diaper like always. And remember, for all of her life, she's pooped in her diaper, so this is quite a change!

What works is different for everybody--if you push some kids, they'll just not poop until they get constipated and then nobody's happy; but other kids need the encouragement. You might just pay closer attention to when she runs and hides, and then follow her and plop her on the potty and see how that works. Usually once the kids do it a few times and realize that everything's okay, they'll be willing to go on the potty from then on.

2 1/2 years is a bit early to expect your little one to be totally ready to give it all she's got. Do not rush her. I know diapers can be expensive, as are disposable training pants, but if you rush her she will only push that much harder against using the toilet for all her business and continue to mess her nice things. I suggest encouraging her to continue using the toilet as often as she takes herself there or tells you she wants to go, and gently ask if she would like to use it when you can see that she is ready for a poop. However, I highly reccomend allowing her to wear training pants until she starts going to the toilet willingly for poops. If she doesn't have a good relationship with the toilet by 3 1/2 then I would worry, but until then do not force the issue.

They train when they are ready. Not when the seem like they should be. Let her have control. Tell your daughter it's ok and to let you know when she is ready to poop like a big girl. IF you have not put her in panties yet, I would take her shopping to let her choose some, and tell her when she is ready, her new big girl panties will be waiting.

Remember, a lot of kids don't train til after 3. You may be facing reverting problems after the baby, so I wouldnt push it. Or you might get even more frustrated.

Good Luck!

Get rid of pull ups completely. When she poops in her pants, make her help clean it up. Once she has to throw the poop in the potty a few times and sees how yucky it is she will probably decide to go on the potty. We also did a happy dance when my kids pooped on the potty. They got a special treat such as a lollipop that they were not allowed to have any other time. They also got a sticker on a chart. When the chart was full (10 stickers = about 2 weeks if all goes well) they got to pick out a toy at the toy store. Both of my kids were completely trained in 10-14 days. With my daughter, we even threw away her underwear when she pooped in it. She did not like having her favorite panties thrown away because they were yucky. Good luck.

My son was the same way. His preschool teacher was the one who finally did the job. she would watch him it seemed like it got so it was the same time of day. We also would sit him on the potty and read a book about going to the potty. I think you can get them at a book store. If you can figure what time see if she will read a book at that time.

Hi,
My kids are grown, but i went through the same thing with my son. Maybe you can try a reward system. Example: put a calendar on the back of the wall of the potty and give her some fun stickers to put on it if she makes poop. Or put a candy container on the back of the potty and she only gets a piece when she poops. Just some ideas. But actually she is prob. not ready and she will be just give it time. My son was 4 when he finally was 100 percent trained. I took drastic measures when i couldnt take it anymore. I made him take him undies off and he had to put them in the potty and rinse them. He didnt poop in his pants anymore. It was hard to do that and he cried and so did I but it worked. Just try to be patient and hopefully i have given some insight. Good luck? D.

Yes, I had that problem with my first one, 21 yrs ago though.
I tried everything and nothing worked. The only bad thing about it is, and I hate to admit this, but i was mean and threatening to him. I had a really horrible abusive marriage with his father and I stayed so upset and with my stomach torn up and scared to death. I projected that on him. My mistake.
BUT........I can tell you that being mean and threatening doesn't work. The only thing that worked for him is time. He just kept following me around and knew that I was doing it on the potty and eventually he just did it. There was really nothing that made him go. I think it was really when I just gave up and didn't try anymore.... and he just did it and hasn't missed a lick since.

Don't worry I just went through the exact same thing with my son. He would lock himself in his bedroom and hide to poop in his pants. I would let him sit in it for a few min (not too long) and then he would have to dump his poop into the toilet himself. After doing that for a week or two somehow he just started going on the potty! He hasn't had an accident since then. I don't know what will work for you and your girl but good luck! I know it is frustrating.

My daughter was similar. She would hold her poop in though. She would go 4-5 days at a time without going. Geez, I thought we would never get through that stage. You could tell she had to go she would have her legs crossed and be red in the face. We would have to sit her on the potty for 15 minutes she would yell and scream to get off she just did not want to go. UGGG! It took her 4 months but she just finally got over it. So just know, this to will pass. No matter how painful it seems now! :) My only advice would be to take notice of the times when she goes and take her to the bathroom around the same time each day. My daughter would usually poot when she had to go. So when she did that we would say let's go potty NOT do you have to. Didn't give her the oportunity to say no. We used lots of praise and treats when she went. Good luck!

We just went through that. My daughter will be three in April and is now potty trained during the day... we are still working on nighttime. She did not like to use the potty to poo either. It took almost two months of doing it in her big girl panties before she decided she wanted to do it in the potty. It got really old always cleaning out her poo and some days I would get upset, other days I was more patient. For us, treats didn't work. I also tried letting her sit with books. Ultimately, it was her decision as to when it was going to happen which I am afraid is a part of her personality.
Good luck! It will happen though!

Yes! Going thru the exact same thing with my 2 1/2 yr-old son. What's up with that? We don't know why he dislikes pooping so much, but we're currently trying to condition him to go at the same time every day (pm when we can watch him), upping his liquids to reduce constipation, and giving him incentives to hang out on the potty longer (books, cartoons). The past couple of days he has eventually gone on the potty - after 30 min - with fewer dramatics. Don't know how long we'll have to keep it up, though. Good luck!