Potty Training Help - Kalispell,MT

Have you tried a soft seat, that fits on the adult toilet? I know they sell them at Wal-Mart. Maybe, if you get her one of these, she will think of herself as a really big girl, and you won't have that problem anymore. Just something that worked for me when my kids were youngsters. Good Luck!! L. K

Just so you know...a child that never poops in the potty is NOT FULLY POTTY TRAINED. When I potty trained my daughter, I spent 4 days in the bathroom with her. We ate in there, we played games, read books, etc. The only time we left the bathroom was for nap time, and to sleep at night. Very boring, I know, but then when it was time to go, we were right there. No hiding.

I went through the same thing with my son. He was terrified of going poop in the potty. I cleaned out poopy underwear for over a month! Finally when I caught him in the act or thought that he had to poop I would take him to the potty and force him to sit until he went. Sometimes it would take upwards to 45 minutes before he finally couldn't hold it anymore. After doing this for like a week it finally clicked and he realized poopy in the potty wasn't so bad. He has only had one poopy accident since then and that was months ago. I hope this helps & good luck.

Being 2 she is still young. She isn't completely potty trained if she is pooping in her pants, that is the last and sometimes the hardest step.
Skip the potty chair and put a fun character potty seat on the big potty. That helps them feel bigger, more comfy and will help the transition of getting ready for the big potty.
Put up a chart, for every time she goes pee in the potty, a sticker, two for pooping. At the 30 sticker mark, tell her she can go to Target/wherever and pick out a fun surprise.
Whatever she is into big helps.
My daughter potty trained earning Care Bears, my son Transformers, hee hee. You would be amazed if she has serious motivation.
Also, if she poops in her pants tell her big girl priviledges are taken away that day. Big girl toys put up and so on, be matter of fact about it but stay tough. If she wants to be a big girl that priviledge is earned.
She obviously doesn't care right now, hence the smile and tell her that if she wants to be a baby she has to be then treated like one.
If that doesn't phase her then I suggest sticking the pullups on her. She just may not be ready. 2 is young, takes kids sometimes longer then other. Instead of throwing out nasty panties or you cleaning up the mess any longer, I would just maybe let it go for a while. Tell her when she is ready to be a big girl and go back to underwear to let you know.
My daughter potty trained at around 2, then regressed back so I let it go, round two it was easy with a phone call from Santa saying how he would love to bring her big girl toys if she was a big girl and went on the potty, done 100% done after that.
Also, if there is a certain time that you know she goes poop, which most kids have that timeline, keep setting her on the big potty seat every half hour. Seems like a pain but she will eventually go, if it means staying in a few days so be it.
Once she goes a few times it will seem like the norm to her.
I just don't feel potty seats work well at least they didn't for us. Going straight to a fun potty seat on the actual potty was much easier!! :)

She's not ready to poop in the potty. The more you express your frustration and discuss the issue, the longer it will take, because you're adding an emotional dynamic that doesn't have to be there. Some kids don't poop in the potty until they're four, or even five.

Please just relax about it. Many other things in her life will not happen "on schedule" (and age two is somewhat early for the average kid), so this is just practice for you on how to relax and let things happen of their own accord.

I just re-read the part where you're punishing her for not pooping in the potty. That's cruel. Where did you get such an idea?

I just read the other responses. Make her clean the poop? She's two years old! How incredibly cruel. If you ran that idea by a pediatrician or a psychologist, they would be horrified. Honestly, I've never known such a woman. Wow. I'm allowed to be shocked here, right?

My daughter did the exact same thing. EXACTLY. Absolutely NOTHING I tried helped. She just had to make the decision on her own. It was frustrating, gross and irritating for me, but she just wasn't ready, I guess. The phase lasted a few months, then tapered off, and now she's a pro. But I tried taking things away, time outs, making her clean it up, whatever. Nothing helped. It's just a mental thing. She just had to feel right about using the potty for #2. I know it's not much help, but I just wanted to say you're not the only one! I think she'll come around soon. Just give her time.

Two is pretty young to be 100% potty trained, so first of all, I wouldn't worry too much. I know it's a hassle to keep cleaning up messes, but it will just take time. Secondly, going #2 in the toilet is a BIG deal for kids. All 4 of my girls were scared by it at first. I don't know if they feel like their body's falling apart or what!

I would just make sure to have her "help" with the clean up. Take th panties into the bathroom and dump out the mess into the toilet and say stuff like, "THAT is where that belongs!" or "yay! It get's to go in the potty now!"

I wouldn't try to make her feel too bad or "naughty" about going in her pants. She may not have the muscle control or be brave enough to do it in the potty just yet. When and if she does go in the potty, you're going to have to make a REALLY big deal about it! (Jump up and down clapping and singing, tell Daddy or Grandma "guess what she did today?", big hugs, etc.)

My oldest used to LOVE stickers. I had a big sheet of paper on the wall in the bathroom by her potty, and whenever she went, she got to put a sticker on her "potty chart" (not really a chart, but she didn't know the difference!) Maybe you could do something like that and give her 2 stickers for going poo-poo.

Hi K.-it sounds exactly what my 3 1/2 year old little guy did. He was trained around 2 1/2 years except for that and would hide! We tried everything! We even threw his favorite underwear away when he pooped in them-he didn't like that and it worked for a day or so! But the thing that worked the most was making him go around naked-I know, we were only in the house and it was just me and him! But it worked. we had a few accidents behind a chair and such but he started to tell me more or I would notice him more and honestly, I followed him around for days to make sure we were not going to hide! It finally stopped completely when he saw his new baby brother poop while getting his diaper changed! It will come along-good luck!

Hi K.,

I would suggest make the accomplishment of actually going in the potty huge. A big reward of some kind and let her know in advance. A big bright sticker for example, or if she can do it for a week, then maybe an outting or a playdate with a friend. She seems to understand that her actions are inappropriate yet she still keeps repeating them. Does she understand how upset or disappointed you are when she goes in her panties? If it becomes funny or the cleanup time is playtime as well, she may continue just for that attention.

Hope this helps!

For now the best thing to do is back off the subject. She has made this into a power struggle with you. I would NOT punish her for having accidents. This will only make it harder. When you are ready to try again,try a reward chart. I used charts with my son and although sometimes a slow process, when he achieved his reward he was very proud. On a piece of paper, draw several boxes big enough to put a sticker in (start small, maybe 3). Then every time she goes poop on the potty she puts a sticker in the box. The reward can be anything special to her. It helps to have a visual reminder: if it is a toy, keep in in view but out of reach. If it is a special outing, put a picture of it next to the chart. I took my son to Build a Bear after he had no accidents for 7 days. Before we started I went and got some Build a Bear stickers from them (they give them to you for free) and we used these to fill in our chart. The attempts do not have to be consecutive. If she has an accident in between successes, keep going- don't start over. Just remember, she is only two and you have plenty of time.
Hope this helps, good luck.

*Also, some kids get constipated and if pooping is painful they will not want to go and can even become scared to go. Make sure she is well hydrated.

this may not sound encouraging, but my oldest did the same thing. i tried everything i could think of. finally one day when he was 4, he decided on his own to poop in the toilet and told me afterward. the only time he pooped in his pants after that was when he had diarrhea and it came faster than he expected. he's almost 5 now and when i asked him what it was that made him decide to use the toilet, he said that it was uncomfortable to go in his pants. he's also the one of my kids that rarely fussed as a baby when he had a messy diaper. maybe some kids just take longer to be bothered by it?

My 2.5 year old little girl has done this as well. She was getting interested in the pottey and going both, but then the baby came and the diapers/pull ups were back on. After a couple of months she was back to using the potty, going both 1 and 2. Then this past week she went 2 a few times in her underwear. She said it was too hard to go on the potty. So, we told her if she she was not going to be able to go 2 in the potty to tell us and we would get a diaper so she could go in that and not ruin her panties. The pediatrician had told us to always make the potty a positve thing. We also told her that she could get a new princess dress if she started going 2 in the potty when she was ready. I have put her princess jewlry and ruby red slippers (she is very much into princesses and Wizard of Oz) in a glass cake dish on the counter. When she goes 2 in the potty she gets to wear them the rest of the time. It is all about immediate reward and then having a bigger something to look forward to. It worked she has not had an accident for a couple of days. We get really excited when she goes to the potty. One more thing...I do not ask her if she needs to potty. I just say, "it's time to go potty," taking her by the hand and putting her on the potty.

Have you dumped out her panties/put the poop into the toilet and flushed it to show her where it belongs?

Set aside one day that you can watch her constantly and when you see her "squatting", hurry her to the toilet.

Best, D.

My son who is potty training was doing the same thing. He would always "disappear" to his room or our sun room and then come back with poopy pants. He was older so talking and reasoning with him helped, but I could never get him to tell me why he didn't want to go in the potty. This is what finally worked for us:
1. He had to clean himself up including wiping -- which he has to do anyway when he poops, and clean out his underpants and put them in the dirty clothes. Leaving him in wet underpants (as suggested by another poster) seems cruel and unsanitary. No matter how well they get washed out, wet underpants could lead to rashes and for girls urinary tract infections. Also, when he had an "accident" (in my head I call them an "on purpose" since he knows better!) as he was wiping himself I would remind him that it's much easier to wipe after pooping in the potty instead of pooping in underpants. Just so you know, I would always end up helping him, but I try to make him do most of the work.
2. I was home with a new baby on maternity leave so I watched him CLOSELY. When he would disappear into his room or the sunroom to "do the deed" I would redirect him into the bathroom. Sometimes it worked, sometimes he'd hold it in. When it worked I would give him praise for being a big boy and going where he was supposed to. When it didn't work or I didn't see him disappear I would tell him I was sad that he didn't make it to the potty. BUT- here's the key. NO punishment for not making it to the potty. His dad was keen on the punishments, but he was gone for 2 weeks. Those 2 weeks of only POSITIVE reinforcement on potty training were key. So stop any punishments, tell her you are sad she didn't make it to the potty, and have her help clean up.

Same problem, we used rewards with presents that stayed in the bathroom in view and he saw me wrap them and he picked them out but could not get them until he went poo in the potty. This was taking for ever so I tried the naked thing. and one day he just went to bathroom all by himself, so he was ready. His age 2 1/2.
Good luck

You seem to have recieved a wide range of advice on this subject. If I may be frank with you (by the way I do have a masters degree in psychology and am working towards my P.h.d) Your daughter is way to young to be punished like you are punishing her for going in her pants. In all actuality we don't recommend punishment at all when it comes to potty training it should be more about positive reinforement than negative. She obviously isn't ready for the second stage of being potty trained yet. This is something that also lays the foundation for other milestones and accomplishments in her life and you should think about the way you want that foundation to be layed. We as parents get further with things in my personal and professional experience, if we aren't involved in constant power struggles with our kids. PLEASE let her do this at her own pace and remind her how special she is every chance you get! Good Luck

One of my sons used to do this and it was making me absolutely crazy! I finally figured out that he just wanted privacy. If I would leave the bathroom, he would go. Maybe try that? I hope you figure it out soon!

This is normal and talking about it won't get it at this age. try positive reinforcements like a pet fish if she doesn't soil in a full week...use a small candy or sticker for just sitting and trying to go for more immediate. I had to just go buy new undies at one point and it was about 33 months mine figured the whole thing out, night and poo just one day and it was done. i had one friend whose girl was four and asked for a diaper to poo in and then took it off and trashed it. another had her three and half year old put on groves and clean her undies int he toilet...she did it thre times and said; Mom, I am done doing that and will use the toilet now. Don;t know if that helped at all. I just found that my 2 year old girl played a lot of power games with the poty..when I got like: I don't care, wear a baby diaper then...she really got motivated.

This takes time and effort but seemed to work for my kiddos. Leave her clothes off all day and set the potty chair (assuming you have a kid potty) in the middle of the room she spends the most time in. This way she won't go in her panties and will have the potty right there to use. Use lots of positive reinforcement. Candy works well and I am not a fan of sugar in kids. You stop rewarding it when the bad of candy is gone. The key to this working is not leaving the house for several days. That is the hard part. Good Luck!

Try "Potty Training in a Day" by Terri Crane. She addresses that. GL!

Let it go and make it her decision, she will come around! Definately no punishing and taking things away.

Hi K.-

I had the same problem, and I agree with Christine's response, make her clean up the mess. What worked for me was the "natural" consequence of a mess in the panties. She rinsed them, then wore them wet, which is what would happen if we weren't home to "fix" the issue. For a messy diaper, she dumped it, and then we used the kitchen sprayer to clean her bottom but the key was the water was cold. Cold water on the hieny was all the incentive she needed to use the potty.

Good luck!

Make her clean up the mess. Take her in the bathroom, supervise while she dump the poop into the toilet, rinses out the panties, cleans her own bottom, takes the panties to the laundry room, and puts on clean ones. It shouldn't take long for her to figure out it's easier to just use the toilet!

I have had 2 kids do this. WIth my last child I finally put him in underwear all day long and had a special spot for pull ups. I told him that if he was going to poop like a baby he had to go get a pull up on and I would change him. THis worked for me because i wasnt cleaning it up over my house. He also wasnt holding it for far too long and making his tummy sick. This took 6 months before his cousins came to stay for a week and he saw his cousin his same age poop in the potty then he just did it and has not had an accident. he poops in the potty.
I felt like I tried everything but his mind was set and that was it- he wasnt going to do it. I tried taking stuff away- corner- telling him that was like a baby, taking him to McD's play center, I would buy him any toy he wanted. But until he got his mind set he just wasnt going to do it. From the time he was totally pee trained it was 8 months until he pooped in the potty.
After I got my mind set that he was incharge of his bodily functions and gave him that option it was aweful around here but for me this really worked. I only told him once that if he wasnt going to go in the potty that baby pull ups were over here. After that we never used the word baby and just let him do his thing. If he pooped in a pull up I changed him. I would mention that this was yucky and it isnt yucky if you poop in the potty.
When he did poop in the potty the first time I let him pick any treat he wanted. I was heading out in summer to look for a spider cake when he decided he wanted a sucker.
Good luck. With 4 kids- 3 potty trained at 3 and on at 17 months I finally decided for me to let them do it when they want.

Punishing is not the way. I have heard and have witnessed that when children go #2 in the potty and see it, it kinda freaks them out. I was told that its like they are losing a part of their body. Be patient it will come. I'm sure you'll get some other advise on what exactly to do. My two just started. They were both very excited after they got over the initial shock. It took my 4 year old at least 6 months to be fully potty trained at 2 and 1/2 and my now 2 and 1/2 year old is doing pretty good when MOMMY is consistant. So until my 4 year old got it, I did lots of laundry. Small price to pay.