19 Month Old Not Eating

Updated on June 16, 2009
S.M. asks from Kaysville, UT
17 answers

HELP!!

My 19 month old is still eating jar food. He will eat Toast for breakfast (every single day), but besides that all food has to be mixed with jar food. Cookies are not a problem, unless it is a brand he has never seen.

No fruit, no vegetables, no meat...nothing, unless puree.

I can use a little advice and maybe just support, because i am desperate. Every meal is a struggle and I end up crying. His doctor suggested I skip a meal and see if he will eat. He still won't eat. I am not willing to take the next step of no supper either.

What can I do next?

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So What Happened?

Thank you all!

It took you mothers to do what my doctor could not do. The occupational Therapist is just what we needed. I would never have thought of it if you incredible mothers had not mentioned it.

I knew there was something more going on with my son. I am glad I listened to myself and searched for the answers. It is an aversion to textures and seems easy to fix with a little help. We have another appointment next week.

Again thank you to all the mothers that shared their stories with me and gave me hope. Someone who is not going through this, cannot imagine the impact it can have.

I can't wait for the first meal at a restaurant without a food jar!!!!!!!!

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S.P.

answers from Grand Junction on

hi S..i understand my girls have the moments still i say keep doing what you are doing he will break. see if he will eat fast food. then you know he will get some meat in him...good luck

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S.S.

answers from Denver on

I see that you have tried skipping a meal, but you are not willing to do the same for another meal. I understand this feeling, but by giving in you are giving your child a reason to not eat BIG people food.

As a mother of 4, I have been through this a few times. I handled this AND got through it by giving each of my children the same meal that I eat. I put a plate in front of them portioned according to their needs and that's all they get. If they eat it, GREAT! If they don't, I don't cater to them and give them something else.

If your child is hungry enough, he WILL eat. If you cave in and give him what he wants after trying to give him what he is supposed to eat, he will just wait until you give in because he KNOWS you will. Do NOT give in and soon your child will be eating the foods he should. GOOD luck!

Make it a GREAT day!

1 mom found this helpful
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E.B.

answers from Salt Lake City on

S.,

Contrary to common sense, children who have sensory integration issues WILL not eat if somthing that smells, feels or has a texture triggers the aversion response. My 18 year old still will go days without anything but water if he doesn't have the foods that don't trigger his aversion response available. He has learned to ignore his hunger signals. The neurology that drives this problem had not been discovered when he was little, and the punishment/reward approaches we used on the advice of our physician and therapists did a lot of damage to our relationship with him and caused him twice to almost starve himself to death. At one point his body fat ratio was below 2% and he was hospitalized.
I am not saying that this is true for your child, but before I went through the the misery of "breaking" my child I would have him evaluated by more than one expert in this field.
Just a thought,

E.

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K.K.

answers from Denver on

Occupational therapy - feeding consultant - this is what you are looking for. My son is 11 months old, but he could not pass beyond puree until we started seeing the doctor in Children's Hospital. I really advise you to ask your pediatrician to refer you there. It does help to remove frustration from this process from child and parents. Good luck. It IS a tough one. My prayers!

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C.N.

answers from Salt Lake City on

S.,

Interesting doctor that you have. I can't image suggesting to a parent not to feed their child. Have you tried puree your food and then gradually having it less pureed?
Is it the taste or the texture of the food that matters to your child?

With my whole heart, C.

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S.R.

answers from Denver on

Maybe it is part power struggle? Showing his independence? He likes to see how mad he can make you? negative attention is still attention.
What if you just stopped acting as if you cared if he eats the non-mush food or not? Then it isn't fun for him to reject it.

If you are willing to have him skip a meal, then it would essentially be the same thing to offer him something yummy and when he rejects it, ask him if he is all done and if he is, then very pleasantly let him be done. You can give him mush next meal, but then then back to non-mush again as the only option. If he asks for food before next meal or snack, then you remind him that he said he was all done at the last meal. Or save his uneaten food and offer it back to him, all the while smiling and letting him make the decisions.
?? good luck

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M.S.

answers from Denver on

Maybe just a phase, maybe a sign of a sensory disorder. Our Dr. referred us to a specialist, Toomey & Assoc. in Denver, and he was right. It is a struggle and it helped to get tips to use at home and relieve the stress on me. That doesn't mean it went away, just got tools for coping. Good luck!

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L.W.

answers from Denver on

It sounds like getting him diagnosed for texture aversion is essential, but if that's not the issue it may be as simple as what we do with our daughter--good old "reverse psychology." If we really want her to eat it, we put it on our plates, sit in the living room (so she can come have a good look at our food) and tell her she can't have it. She starts sneaking little tastes right away. If we say, "Oh, you won't like this," she always does. For example, she will eat grapefruit (no sugar), or even lemon this way.

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K.M.

answers from Boise on

I agree with the other moms about having him evaluated for aversions to textures. It's very common and can be overcome with therapy. You might also have your pediatrician check to make sure he's not tongue-tied, which could make it difficult or painful for him to chew and swallow. That's a real easy fix of just clipping the frenem under the tongue.

Have you tried smoothies yet? He may really have fun with a straw and you could pack it full of fresh fruits and some veggies and even a protein powder. That way, you wouldn't need to worry about nutrition until you can find a reason for his unwillingness to eat.

Hang in there and good luck!

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G.P.

answers from Boise on

Have you tried making your own baby food? This way you can control the thickness of it and keep making it thicker as needed. I find jar food runny with some chunks. After I thickened up my son's food, then I would leave some chunks, until it was just mainly chunks. Does your son show any interest in your food. My son is constantly wanting whatever I am eating and it has been a good way to introduce him to new food because when I just give him "his food" he usually doesn't want the new stuff. If it is from my plate, or my mouth, he is more willing.

You probably just had your 18 month checkup. Did you talk to his doctor about this? If not, I would suggest it. He may be able to recommend someone if needed, or tell you not to worry, that he will go to solids when ready. I had these struggles when I tried the rice cereal as a first food. I was crying he was upset, and no one was happy. My doctor said to skip it, and we went on to the purees without the cereal. So, I understand your pain and frustration, but try to take a deep breath and relax. While jar food may not be ideal for you, he is getting his nutrition and may just take a little longer to want solids.

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A.S.

answers from Denver on

My son is a very picky eater - when he's at home. When he's in a large group of children - particularly slightly older children - he'll happily eat what they are eating. You may want to try eating a meal or two with some (slightly) older kids, and have someone else serve him what they are eating. I was amazed at what my son would eat when he was at the babysitters - stuff he's turned his nose up at time and time again.

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S.L.

answers from Salt Lake City on

My friends daughter does this same thing. She doesn't like textures. She also isn't talking much so she has a speech therapist coming to their house to work with her on both. It is free through the state.

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J.B.

answers from Denver on

Children who are extremely picky eaters are heartbreaking to watch. They end up with health problems, because of their self-inflicted choices. This was my daugther's concern with my 2 1/2 year old grandson, Joshy. His self-limiting diet was affecting his health and all the trendy methods did nothing to change that. After inititaing multi-sensory learning, he began to add healthful foods into his diet. It took about a week to initiate the steps, then learning to eat whole foods became the natural out come. You might want to check out the info on this site.
http://www.BabyBites.info

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O.F.

answers from Provo on

I started giving my 2 kids Herbalife kids shakes once a day since they were 1 and 2 years old. They are nutritional shakes. I figured it was a great way to make sure my kids get at least some nutrition being picky eaters and all. My kids used to be in the 5th percentile of their growth and now they are in the 65th percentile. If you want to check it out, my website is www.shopherbalife.com/O.. You can contact me also at 800-850-0609 or ____@____.com. I'm doing a Father's Day special, buy 1 get on half off.

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C.L.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Hi S. - I just want to second what others are saying. I have a 10 month old that is the exact same way - will eat crackers and cheerios (and actually will take the occasional bite of a ripe pear) but other than that, it has to be puree. If you're like me, you're running out of ideas of what else to try!

I have a friend who also has a son who was the same way (he's now 3) and they also took him to a speech therapist/feeding clinic. They identified his texture issues and slowly got him interested in things he could tolerate which led to opening up the door for other things.

My pediatrician wants to wait until DS is a year old to interfere, but I'm pretty sure we're going to have to see the therapist. Ask your ped about it and hopefully it will help. I highly recommend it!

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S.W.

answers from Salt Lake City on

You sound so stressed--I am so sorry!
You might like the book "My Child Won't Eat!" published by La Leche League about a year ago. It's in paperback, but I"m sure you could borrow it (for free) from your local LLL group. You can find a local Leader to ask about it at www.llli.org.
It's possible you're dealing with oral aversion, and a consultation with a speech therapist might be a good idea. You could probably find one on your own, or just call yoiur local school district office and ask who they use for early intervention questions. Even though it's summer and your daughter is young, you could probably get a consultation with a therapist soon so you have another professional opinion about how worried you should be.
IN the meantime, I wonder if you daughter would like cooking with you? My kids will eat better at meals they helped prepare. Even if she only has a lick of soup or lasagna filling, it's a friendly introduction to another taaste.
Hang in there!

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M.M.

answers from Colorado Springs on

S., some children who gravitate towards the purees (but will eat cookies. crackers, Cheerios, etc.) actually have a type of texture aversion. No matter how many meals you skip, they will still not eat. The phrase "kids will eat when they are hungry" is entirely irresponsible and untrue for this population. Most pediatricians (and other moms) do not acknowledge that problems like these exist. My daughter was the exact same way (in fact, at one point, she didn't eat for 5 days straight) and then I took her to the Memorial feeding clinic. There are other facilities in town with Occupational/Speech Therapists that specialize in this problem as well. If you are fortunate, your son may actually have no real issues and is just going through something but it sounds to me as if he does have something diagnosable. Best thing to do is let an expert in the field evaluate.

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