3 Year Old Won't Eat

Updated on January 19, 2008
M.M. asks from Upper Marlboro, MD
12 answers

I've read other posts concerning kids who won't eat. And most of the advice that is given is the multi-vitamin which I do give to my son. But, he's always been a real picky eater. Now, it's worse. The only vegetable that I was able to get him to eat were carrots. And 65% of the time now, he won't eat them. He won't eat anything green. Doesn't want to eat beans. Sometimes, he won't even eat chicken nuggets or corn on the cobb! I don't know what to do anymore. It seems like the only thing he'll eat is peanut butter and jelly. Sometimes he does rice. WILL NOT EAT: Mac n cheese, noodles, vegetables (except carrots), oranges. I have to fight with him to even eat spaghetti while my other 2 gobble them up. And it's not like the food tastes bad. I cook very well. I need some ideas to get him to eat something else besides p b & J. can anyone help? He's losing weight (even though the dr. says he's in the 50% for weight). I feel like my 1 year old is catching up with him quick. HELP??

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B.D.

answers from Richmond on

A friend of mine has a cookbook by Jennifer Seinfeld all about "hiding" healthy food in other food. She hides all kinds of vegetables in eggs, in pizza, in peanut butter, in everything! I highly recommend it.

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A.B.

answers from Norfolk on

First, don't load him up on fluids such as juice, water or milk prior to meal times. Having drinks during or after meals really helps my daughter to eat because she's not full already. Also, don't worry if he doesn't eat a lot. He's got a little tummy. Sometimes he may just not be hungry. And you're the parent. You control what goes on the table. Three is old enough to either eat what the family is eating or be excused from the table. While it may be a fight now, it will cause fewer headaches down the road. Also, it's ok for an active child to slim down a little. Has he recently gotten taller? It may be just a phase in his growth cycle if he's just shot up a little. If the doctor isn't worried about it, I wouldn't either. If you're really that worried, get a second opinion. Another possibility if he's sensitive to different textures or noises is that he has sensory issues. If he gags on his food that he has an aversion to you might want to investigate this too.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.M.

answers from Richmond on

My son is nearly three and quit eating vegetables at about 18 months. He had loved them up until then. He is now a very picky eater but I have tried to make the best of what he will eat and the supplement for the rest. We still give our son the fortified baby cereal but now mix it the Yo-Baby yogurt (it's in the organic section usually but may just be with other yogurts as well) and he calls it his "oatmeal" because that is sounds more like what grown ups eat. He also loves Goldfish crackers so I buy the whole grain ones. I also give him one cup a day of V-8 Splash (it's high in vitamins and minerals he would normally get from veggies but tastes like fruit juice). If your son likes apple juice, I think Mott's makes the vitamin fortified version. I agree that they will not live on PB & J forever so just fill in the gaps with higher calorie but healthy foods where you can (if you are still concerned about his weight). If his weight begins to drop, you can always put him back on whole milk for a little while and that usually plumps them back up pretty quickly! :-)
Good luck!
- J. :-)

1 mom found this helpful
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L.N.

answers from Washington DC on

me again. . .50 percentile is GREAT!!!!! yes, GREAT!!!!!
one reason could be cutting teeth. that happened to one of my 3 year old daughters. apparently her 2 yr old molars are coming in now. although i did deal with picky eaters until they were two and a half and now that there's more understanding from their part i won't take no for an answer and won't give the foods they like only. i will but not every day and not 3 times a day. if mine could they would live on pb and J. another thing. my kids never ate veggies. to quote them:
"YUUUIYUTR THIS LOOKS GROSS!!!" whatever i offered they thought it looked gross. then i came into one of those books that suggested pureeing the veggies and voila. ok, i didn't make any of the recipes from the book but i only took the suggestion about pureeing the veggies and now i use those purees on everything. even sweet potatoes on waffles or pancakes (hehehe same color), or cauliflower in soups, rice and broccoli and zucchini). so they don't know they're eating it BUT THEY ARE. same thing for fruit. mine ate fruit just fine but i'd take them an hour to finish an apple and by that time apple didn't look like an apple anymore :) now i make 'smoothies' puree fruit (lots of different ones, apple, pear, orange, prunes, banana, peach and make two smoothies one each).
bottom line, offer the food you have for everyone. if he doesn't want to eat it, put a plastic wrapper over the plate and place in the fridge. a bit later he'll ask 'for something to eat.' don't say much just bring the plate (don't heat it yet wait to hear what he will say). eventually he'll say THIS IS GREAT, thanks
good luck

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J.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Here are some thoughts:
you could try that V8 juice on the market that tastes like fruit juice, and there are crackers now that have a serving of vegetables baked into it. zucchini (or yellow summer squash) is a very mild vegetable that is tolerated well, but if he won't eat it, shred it and put it in sauces or bake into bread as a thickener. you can also substitute applesauce in many baking recipees. my daughter loves progresso lentil soup - particularly if we give her a bowl of shredded cheese to put on it. my 3 year old doesn't like traditional children's food - she'll eat baked fish, but not fish sticks, broiled chicken, not chicken nuggets. maybe try serving the vegetables in a different form? if he likes the lentil soup (minestrone is another good choice for veggies, and they now make low sodium versions) you could even mix in some brown rice for a heartier meal. Also try couscous (can also be snuck into foods/ sauces). Orzo is a good pasta to try because it looks like rice, and again offering an option of a sauce or cheese he can put on himself. some kids like polenta, which is hearty.
one of the things i do if i know i'm serving a food that is less than exciting or that is new is that i hold back on snacks and push dinner off maybe half an hour - that way my daughter is a little bit hungrier and more willing to try new foods. or i pair the new food with something i know she likes - serve a little bit of the food she likes, a normal sized portion of the new food and tell her she can have more of the food she likes once she finishes the new food.

hope some of this helps.

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A.D.

answers from Norfolk on

first of all, do you know he has lost weight or does he just appear leaner? Because kids at this age do "thin out" as they suddenly grow TALLER but don't gain weight as fast. So, while they ARE gaining weight, they appear skinny because they get so tall. However, if your scale (or, more importantly, the doctor's scale) shows a weight LOSS, this is more concerning.

Weight GAIN slows down a LOT as children age. This is normal but it concerns parents because we are used to seeing our chubby babies and young toddlers who look like little roly polys then suddenly we get this almost gangly appearing preschoolers which coincide with their weird little ritualistic feeding behaviors. Refusing foods they once loved, skipping meals, etc. Also at this age, kids love attention, ANY way they can get it and a GREAT way to get attention AND exert control (and drive mom CRAZY) is to mess with meal time! The more you freak out about meal time, the more meal time will be crazy. If you beg and plead and cry for him to eat, the less likely he will be to eat, because it is causing such great fanfare. If you show a lack of concern and the fireworks surrounding meal time go away, he'll get less of a "reward" for his meal refusal and be more likely to start eating again.

Every kid is different, so even though this behavior is very common kid behavior, it's very possible your other kids didn't display it, which may be why you find it so troubling. But the 50%ile growth is very reassuring. The only exception to that would be if he was always a 95% kid his whole life and suddenly dropped to the 50% (which I would think the pediatrician should have shown some alarm at as well). Also, as I mentioned, if the weight loss is DOCUMENTED (as in he weighed 38 pounds 4 months ago and now he weighs 34 pounds, on the SAME SCALE, wearing about the same clothes), rather than it just appears he is thinner, that is a real cause for concern.

If he is a healthy, energetic kid who doesn't have documented weight loss, try not to let it stress you, offer him regular meals and snacks with the rest of the family, sit back and watch what happens. Normal kids (meaning those with normal brains, no brain injuries or developmental delays) don't starve themselves. Also, his caloric needs are less than an adults, so a few bites here and there add up to ENOUGH for him. Don't fret!

Hope that helps!

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D.S.

answers from Washington DC on

Try having HIM make a veggie casserole. My 18 mo old used to eat veggies and then stopped. Over the holidays he helped make green bean casserole, and now LOVES it. He measures the pepper, pours in the mushroom soup and green beans, etc. Now I skip the onions or use them sparingly. He barely waits until it's cooled from the oven before he eats it. I do the same thing with a sweet potato bake. The combination of him helping and adding spices so it isn't plain (nutmeg, apple pie spice, a little brown sugar sprinkled on top) seems to do wonders. Good luck!

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B.W.

answers from Washington DC on

Ah. This is such a difficult thing to deal with. I am a pediatric Occupational Therapists, so I have a couple questions and recommendations. First, does it seem to be a texture thing?? Are there certain textures he refuses to eat. It sounds like he has a VERY limited diet. One book that is good is How To Get Your Child to Eat, but Not Too Much. This is good for kids that are picky eaters behaviorally rather than sensory. If it seems completely a sensory issues he might benefit from Sensory Integration Treatment with an Occupational Therapist. But I would definately recommend meeting with a nutritionist to address weight loss and to help with concerns of healthy eating. As a person note I give my kids V8, but there is also a new juice out there that is grape and other fruit flavors that they sneak carrot juice into (Harvest Surprise? by Juicy Juice). Just some ideas. If you have further questions feel free to contact me.

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M.M.

answers from Washington DC on

I have had the same problem with my two year old son. the only different thing that i do that makes him eat is food with shapes...like i tell him LOOK BALL..and give him peas and corn. YUM YUM..and the new thing that i have done is buy these cereal sticks that you eat and use as a straw...and use that for him to drink DANNON DANIMALS. if he doesnt mind drinking thru a regular straw let him drink the yogart and save the FROOT LOOP ceral sticks to use with something else. and buy DORA AND DIEGO regular youplait yogart and feed it to him when the cartton is on so tht you can point out...wow dora! let me know if it helps at all. good luck

M.

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A.B.

answers from Washington DC on

I feel your pain! But like some others have said, I think/hope it is a phase that he will eventually outgrow. As long as your pediatrician does not have any issues with the weight loss, the 50th percentile is indeed great!
My youngest, now 9, was my picky eater, the one I had terrible troubles with getting her to eat ANY vegetable or anything other than a simple peanut butter and jelly sandwich. She, like you mentioned your son had, refused to eat all "kiddie type" foods(spaghetti, macaroni and cheese and even the finger foods like chicken nuggets)and a vegetable never touched her lips(aside of the jarred baby foods early on)til she was at least 6 or 7 so the vitamins were so essential.
Her weight was not an issue for me just felt she was missing out on getting what we all need nutritionally every day. My other 2 kids (18 & 16) love their vegetables and are very versatile in the foods they eat. I think her seeing that also helped her become more willing to try new things.
Part of the problem was my fault feeling that it was ok to make something seperate for her than the meal I was preparing for the rest of the family...as long as she ate something is what I would think. But I was just fueling that bad habit. We finally managed to get her to eat carrots with a little ranch dressing but I did not want her to make it a regular thing (using the dressing). She has tried many things since and has recently found out that she likes artichokes and spinach and on occasion, has even enjoyed salads.
But I will mention, to this day, she still is very picky with certain foods, and if she refuses to eat something that I am preparing as a part of the meal (I do make a protein, a vegetable and a starch), then she can't have dessert (I do spoil my family with some sort of dessert but only after they have finished their complete meal). I'm sure, with time and a little creative playing around in the kitchen, it will get better. Good luck to you!

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R.R.

answers from Washington DC on

My Daughter (14) would not eat almost any food for almost 4 years. As long as you continue offering food and he takes multi vitimins and drinks plenty of milk and 100% fruit juices and the doctor finds him to be perfectly heathy he will eventally grow out of this phase in no time at all.

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C.W.

answers from Washington DC on

my 4 yo has always been like this. I don't have any advice for you, just know that you are not alone. My doc says that she is porportional, so she must be getting what she needs from pancakes and pizza. I know I could take a hard line and give her what I have and when she gets hungry she will eat, but that hasn't worked so far and she just gets very moody as her blood sugar drops. I just keep remembering that she won't go to college only eating pizza. Good luck to you.

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