19 Month Old Acting Out All of the Sudden

Updated on November 12, 2008
K.M. asks from Danville, CA
5 answers

So I have a wonderful 19 month old baby boy that just recently has started acting out when dad gets home from work. He is the youngest of three (three and a half twin brother nad sister) and has always been a GREAT kid. Still is during the day with me and with the kids, it is just when Dad is around that he becomes a DEVIL. He wants nothing but to cling to dad and only wants dad to read to him, play with him and or feed him. He throws huge tantrums if dad leaves the room and when we try and put him in is highchair for dinner with the other two kids he absolutely goes NUTS and ends up trying to throw himself out so we take him down and he runs to dad and just yells continuously DADDY, DADDY DADDY. when we ask the twins what he wants or what is wrong they just say he wants daddy. However when daddy isn't around he is an angel!!! The only change that could have triggered the attitude is that my husband began leaving for work earlier than the kids get up about two weeks ago. So they do not see him on weekday mornings anymore, however on weekend mornings they do and my 19 month old acts the same way he has been acting in the evening, in the AM when he is here. So I am baffled. Number one what to do, and number two is this normal. My other two NEVER went through anything like this at all!

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N.C.

answers from Sacramento on

Sounds like he misses his daddy and wants all of his attention. It doesn't sound like he is misbehaving to misbehave, it sounds like he is just trying to be with his daddy, who he misses. It is normal when 1 parent changes his/her schedule for the child to act out when that parent returns. Is there anyway that you can get the little one up a little earlier to spend some time with daddy? That could be the solution. Is it imperative that your husband leave earlier? If it is, make some adjustment for the little one. It is a phase, he will adjust, in the meantime I wish you well and lots of patience:-)

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L.H.

answers from San Francisco on

It sounds as if he's going through a perfectly natural stage where he has an intense attachment to one parent, in his case, his daddy. Not all kids go through this stage, but it is normal. Viewing it as acting out, or his becoming a devil will just make the situation worse. And the change in schedule may have aggravated it. So accept it as much as you can--try some of the other suggestions of more time with daddy, a high chair next to daddy, having daddy do as much as he can--while also working on the idea that sometimes daddy can't do it, and he will have to accept mommy. And keep repeating to yourself, "This too shall pass."

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B.R.

answers from Sacramento on

Sounds quite normal for his age.. and the change in your husband's schedule certainly can be a factor. Have you tried putting the high chair next to your husband's chair at the table to see if this helps? At other times, I'd just let him have as much daddy time as dad can give him. I know it will be hard if dad has other things to do, but let the child be near him as much as possible until he gets over this. I trust Dad is understanding and can be helpful. You may need to give him some 'pointers' in order for him to understand how to deal with this too. Then there is the question of whether your other two feel left out of Dad's time because of the little one. That may be a bit 'tricky' but you need to be sure they get their time with Dad too. Perhaps the little one goes down to bed earlier than they do.. or you can start that in the routine, so he can spend special time with them before they go to bed.

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M.S.

answers from San Francisco on

My daughter went through this right about the same age as your son. Only it was me! MOMMY, MOMMY, MOMMY....I wanted a break and wanted Daddy to be the parent of choice for awhile..HA! I don't remember how long it lasted, but it did end. This is normal and will pass.

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G.R.

answers from Sacramento on

Maybe have Daddy spend special time with him when he comes home, after getting settled, hugging everyone, etc. Go and sit down with the 19 month old, read him a story, talk to him, and give that Daddy attention. Have it be time he can count on, remind him before Daddy comes home so that he can look forward to it. 10 mins of focused attention could make life a little easier.

His attachment to his Daddy is a victory for you--you allowed enough room for the connection to happen. It is a beautiful thing.

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