18Mth Old Won't Speak When Asked

Hi J.
i have 2 boys and my oldest did not speak until he was 2 1/2 and he is 10 now and i cant shut him up. My youngest is speaking in full sentences at 18 months old. Dont force him to talk children are like sponges and take everything in and all of a sudden they start to talk.

My daughter is 20 months old and she is extremely selective about speaking. They mentioned to me at daycare that they heard her say some things the other day that she's been saying to me for months...she only just started talking there, and was just whispering occasionally at nap time before (except when she'd "forget" and say something in front of other people). But now she is more comfortable talking around people other than me and my husband and her language is greatly expanding. She does everything in bursts, so I don't know if maybe your son is like this also? Her daycare also does screenings periodically for developmental milestones and I had to speak with the screener about her language b/c she would not talk in front of her, so they were concerned she had no words! In reality, she really talks up a storm at home.
You can try teaching him some sign language, too, to bridge the gap. We do "hungry", "thirsty", "please", "thank you", "again", "more", and some stuff for diapers. You don't even have to do the "real" signs, you can just make them up, and then he can do that (in addition to saying the word) to help you communicate with him. It's amazing how quickly kids pick up on sign language.
One other thing - my daughter seems to know when I really want her to do something and then won't do it! So sometimes she is just resisting me to show her independence, even when she is capable of it. I think that is very typical of this age. I'm not trying to indicate that your son is doing that, too, but it's a possibility to think about.
I hope that helps!

Totally normal! They'll talk when they're ready - some kids are quite shy about their speaking skills. After two very verbose daughters who spoke well by their 2nd birthday, my son was a surprise. He is simply not a talker. Even words he could clearly say he would refuse to use - why talk when you can just point and grunt? Now, at age 3 (on 5/9), he is speaking all the time, finally! Even when he wouldn't speak, I had no problem understanding what he needed. He was potty trained and could ride a bike before he used a complete sentence. Lack of speaking does not equal lack of understanding or ability. We found sign language especially helpful, too. Don't worry! Talking will happen in its own time.

telling your son to repeat you will cause frustration in you both! Either he can speak and doesn't want to or you will frustrate him(and have an angry toddler on your hands) and he will act out...I have had both sides of the spectrum my first 2 spoke early and clearly, my 3&4th later and needed speech and my 5th son talks all the time but I wouldn't be surprised if he's in speech too(after all he models the older ones)...If you want your son to talk, you'll just have to out smart him....ask questions he has to answer...before you open the fridge ask"do you want juice or water" (he can't nod yes or no or point, and must answer)...it will require you and your husband to retrain the way you speak to your son...ask questions that must be answered, also enforce manners, by making him use his manners he also has to talk to say please, thank you and your welcome(and don't worry about correcting the sound, the point is to use sounds, they will either correct themselves over time or need therapy...either way, you can repeat him by saying it correctly as a model but again to avoid frustration don't correct)...then wait and watch...give it a couple of months and when he is with other adults/children if you find yourself translating for him.."he said juice please" more often than not, have him evaluated then...but for now wait it out and watch.

Yes. It is completely normal. Don't push him. He'll be just fine. He is only 1 year old. His language will explode around 2.5.

A.

i think its normal, my daughter didn't say much at that age maybe 5-10 words including names, and she would say this only in front of us (parents/grandparents)
Even now (28 mns) she knows a lot of words, speaks in sentences of 3-5 words, but wont say much to outsiders, unless she knows them.
she did not really start talking until 22-24 months.
don't worry, it will just happen all of the sudden....

Hi J.,

I am a speech-language pathologist. It sounds like your little boy is developing typically in many areas, following directions, playing with other children, understanding language, and saying some words. There is a big variation between kids this age and how many words they can say. Certainly, most of their words are approximations, and not clear like those of an adult! They are slowly learning to say the different sounds and put them together.

Typically kids have a "vocabulary explosion" between 1 1/2 and 2 where they are using about 50 words by the time they are 2 and starting to put 2 words together. Rather than put him on the spot to repeat a word (which he may not be able to do) label things in his everyday experiences--sailboat, sand, beach, shovel, dig, etc. He will start imitating and using words as he hears them in the context of what he is interested in.

I always tell parents to talk to your child the way you would to a friend. You wouldn't ask a friend to "Say Daddy" instead you might talk to them about Daddy.

Anyways, I hope this is helpful. I have a lot of blog entries and articles on encouraging toddler language on my website www.playonwords.com. Just enter that into the search button and items should come up.

Good luck!

S.

Some 18 months old you can have a conversation with. But most do not say much at that age.Our oldest did not speak till after 2 and now would not stop:) Our youngest is 17 months old and only says words when he feels like it. He says mama every day, daddy sometimes, said kitty couple times,and sometimes would say who's this and what's that(but very rare)But he talks non stop in his baby language:)

That's totally normal. You can't expect a child that age to say a word just because you ask him to. He will say it when he wants to. In addition, it is normal for boys to speak less than girls in the first few years.

J.,

You are not alone! My daughter is 22 months and she still does not speak clearly or have a big vocabulary at all! She says the basic wors, mama, dada, hat, hi, bye and sometimes she comes out with little phrases or other words unexpectedly, but other than that she still is talking her baby language. Dont get me wrong, she talks ALOT but harldy in any language you could understand! She is also the same, she perfectly understands everything I tell her and is very smart. I guess she is just a late talker. I have thought about taking her to a speech therepist, but Im going to wait till after her second birthday and see how she progresses. Just keep on talking to him, read to him and point out everything and say thier name. good Luck!

J.-
I had the same concerns, although my 21 month old still isn't talking alot he is talking 95% more than he was even last week. I think that you need to give him a little while longer (at least until 2nd birthday) before you worry, especially since he understands and follows directions.

J.

Don't worry about it. Kids learn to speak at different ages. My two oldest would say a word once and store it away. It would be many months before I heard that word again. My 3rd talks clearly and non stop, and has for quite some time. My 4th child is almost 20 months, and prefers to talk behind his binky. When he does speak you have to have been around him for a while to even understand the words. It will come in time.