My Son Isn't Speaking...

Updated on June 13, 2008
K.K. asks from Atlanta, GA
40 answers

Hi everyone,
I have a almost 17 month old son and he isn't saying many words. He says dada, and did start saying mama at about 10 months, but that has stopped. All he says now is dada. He doesn't actually say dada to address him, but more like everything he points to is da. He can almost say duck and use to try to say ball, but all attempts to pronounce words have halted. He definitely does speak his own language and is very verbal. I don't repeat his baby talk to him, and make sure I speak actual words.He understands full sentences about what we're going to do, need to, or objects, and seems, otherwise, completely up to date. I'm of course going to mention it at the next Dr. appt, but am worried. Should I be concerned? Does anyone have any pointers?
Thanks,
K.

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I'm so overwhelmed by all of the feed back that I have received. Thank you everyone for taking the time to get me such helpful advice!

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P.R.

answers from Columbus on

K.,

I'm having the same problem with my daughter. She does say juice, doggy, kitty, but she calls mama! She understands full sentences also. I need some pointers also. She talks in her own language also!! Please help.

P.

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L.

answers from Atlanta on

My second son took a while to talk and it wasn't b/c the older one was talking for him. I was just patient and he started finally talking. My son was physically advanced though. Some kids get it early like my daughter some just take longer. He has said the names so he knows them just keep talking to him and eventually he will talk back and not stop talking!

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K.S.

answers from Atlanta on

My brother didn't start talking until he was three and then in full sentences.

Everyone to their own schedule. (is his hearing ok?)

K.

More Answers

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K.M.

answers from Atlanta on

my son didn't really speak until he was 2. This is normal for boys. They develpo the ability to talk much slower than girls. Don't worry- he'll be talkin your ear off before long!

1 mom found this helpful
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L.K.

answers from Atlanta on

I don't want to minimize your concerns because I would be concerned too, but I also want you to know there may be nothing wrong. My oldest child wasn't very articulate until fairly late (around 2-3). He would get frustrated because he couldn't express himself. Some relatives speculated he could be autistic. Then, he grew out of it. It turns out he is just fine, in fact, very intelligent. He is now in fifth grade and has always been at the top of his class and in gifted programs as well. I think some people (especially boys) just get off to a slow start. I think you're right to talk to your pediatrician, but in the meantime, try not to stress yourself out with worry. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful
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C.P.

answers from Charleston on

I don't think it sounds like anything to worry about. If he seems to understand it seems normal. One day he will wake up and blurt it all out. That's the way my 3 year old was! Its as though he was taking it all in and wanted to make sure he was getting it right!

1 mom found this helpful
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T.M.

answers from Albany on

The only advice that I can give is to make sure that when he wants something that instead of allowing him to point at what he wants or make noises that you try to get him to actually ask for it or use the word for it. My cousin had this same problem. She didn't realize how often she just did whatever her daughter grunted at or pointed to. She then began making her talk and the problem finally went away. Hope this helps!!

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L.W.

answers from Atlanta on

Of course, the pediatrician can better determine if there is a medical reason he is not speaking more words. I had a friend who's son she was worried about because he wasn't talking as much as she thought he should be as well--I kept telling her just wait, he'll start talking one day and then he'll never be quiet--so enjoy this time of quietness. This of course was after she had him checked out by the pediatrician and there were no medical reasons for him not to talk. My friend's son starting talking and has quit since! God Bless.

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A.C.

answers from Columbia on

My daughter was the same... as long as the ears check out at the dr. I wouldnt worry too much... at 26 months all of sudden she started speaking... and hasnt stopped since! It was hard because my son started talking at 12 months, and she waited so long and like your child she could understand what we were saying but couldnt communicate back to us... It was hard but eventually she SPOKE... and now we just wish we could get her to be quiet sometimes ;-)

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S.N.

answers from Atlanta on

K.

I would suggest that you call your the pediatrician's office and make an appointment for him to seen ASAP. I think an evaluation or testing is in order.
S.

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A.C.

answers from Columbia on

Hi K.. I would call Baby Net. I am sure the number is in the phone book or you can find it online. It is the early intervention (birth to 3 year old) providers of speech therapy through the state. Once your son is 3 your zoned public school is responsible for serving him; however, until then, the state has services that if he qualifies, they can provide. If he qualifies, a speech pathologist will come to your home to work with you and your son and show you things to work on while you play with him. I am not quite sure how they handle fees, but know it is cheaper than going to a private speech therapy clinic. By the way, I am a speech pathologist in the schools. If you are up for checking this out, I would encourage you to do so. Early intervention has been shown to be so effective! :) Good luck!

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S.S.

answers from Columbia on

Hi K.. I know your request was some months ago but I wanted to share something with you. My son hasn't been talking either. Well, he would talk but we couldn't understand what he was saying. We had him in speech therapy for a little while nad then he qualified for a speech program in our primary school. Since then I am amazed at what he says, how much better he talks, and even some of the words that come out of his mouth!! Not that they are bad, but the other day he said, "are you ready to go?" I was shocked and I had to laugh! I was so pleased. Here's the tripper though, he's 3 years old. He didn't start talking until he was almost 2 and now he's 3 and just beginning to talk, but it's ok. I am thankful to see his progression and wanted to encourage you to continue to talk to your son and everything you give him make sure you are telling him what it is like cup, bath, toy (and what kind it is), etc. I'm sure you are doing this and before you know it you'll be asking him to let mommy's ears rest!!

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B.

answers from Augusta on

I wouldnt be that concerned. My daughter didn't say very many words till she was 2 yrs old now at 6 I have to ask her to be quiet sometimes cause she talks NON STOP. I think she MIGHT have said 3 maybe 4 words at the most at 18 months. Now shes an above average student , she's doing work at home thats 2 grades above her class mates.

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A.M.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi K.,
I am curious... does your son have any other behaviors that seem unusual for a childhis age? I only ask because my oldest son started talking and seemed to be fine, and then around the age of 2 just seemed to stop talking. He is 6 now and been evaluated for autism. We had him tested when he was in Pre-K for speech and that is when things went on from there. I don't ask to upset you or scare you, I only ask because I know that I wish someone had said the same thing to me a long time ago.
Keep doing what you are doing. Always try to get him to say what you want him to when asking for things. If he points say "do you want _____ ?"
Hope that you have a great day and let me know if I can help you in anyway.
A. A

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M.P.

answers from Augusta on

Hey K.,

I have two boys 8 and 3. I went through this with both of them. Neither of them said much of anything as far as words until they were two. In raising my boys I have found that boys tend to concentrate on learning one thing at a time. For example, If they are working an learning to walk all other areas of development will likely go to the way side until they are confident in their ability to walk. Once my boys starting talking they took off with vocabulary and speach incredably fast. Almost making up for lost time. My first son was about 30 months before he started really talking but once he did he was using full sentences and amazing everyone at his large vocabulary. Even today people have a hard time believe he is as young as he is when they hear him speak. My 3 year old started talking at about 25 months and did the same thing. It really seemed like they learned to talk over night. Keep in mind that your son is watching and listening to everything you do and say. He is soaking it all in. I promise, unless he also has a lot of other areas where he is behind, he will be talking up a storm in no time. Just be patient with him. Babies all do things on their own time schedule.

M.

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V.E.

answers from Sumter on

K.,
I am an early interventionist working SC. Children at 18 months should have 20-50 single words and have emerging 2 word phrases. It would be a good idea to request your dr refer you to an early inervention program in your area. I have had all three of my children screened at different ages to ensure their development is on target. If there is a speech delay the sooner the better to help him. The kids and families I work with love the early intervention and therapy visits every week. Most make progress with some ideas for intervention during your daily routines.
Best of luck
V. E

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C.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi K..

There is a very wide range of 'normal' when it comes to toddlers and speaking. At 20 months, my daughter said about 5 words whereas my son was putting together 2-3 word phrases at 12-18 months. If he is understanding what you say and can follow simple commands 'show me your nose'...'bring me the ball', etc., the verbal part will catch up. For my daughter who hardly said any words at 20 months, she was talking just as well as all of the other children by the time she was 2.5yo.

C. :)

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K.B.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi K., I would be concerned. I have a 13 year old who spoke in full sentences at 19 months. My next son did not have to speak as we and his brother spoke for him. By the the third, 8 years later, we learned a lesson and she has to speak for herself, though doesn't get needs met. She is enrolled through the Georgias Babies Can't Wait program and is doing fabulous. How it works is: Pediatrician makes referral. You give this and schedule an appt. with Babies Can't Wait. After their evaluation, you them go from there. Good luck, K. R.N.

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M.R.

answers from Atlanta on

My son is 20 months and besides that are children are exactally the same. My son did tell him grandmother "want Momma" when I was away having my second child. He loves to act like he is one the phone but he just blabbers!
My doctor said that he was fine and I have asked my friends of boys and they said there boys did not talk until close to 24 months!
I am sure there is nothing to worry about...we better be careful what we ask for...they may never stop once they start.

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S.G.

answers from Savannah on

I went through this at my son's 18mth check up. At the time he had maybe around 5 words or animal sounds. And like your son, would use a word and then it would just disappear, never to be heard again!! I was stressed cause my daughter was stringing along 3 words together by 1yr old!! The DR didn't seem to worried about it and said to just keep up what I was doing and we would reasses it at the 2yr check up (which he turns 2yrs old in 10 days!!) She said 1)boys go about talking different than girls and 2)as long as he was responding to me and others, then he was fine cause he was hearing and understanding. Well now just within the past month I swear it seems like he has a new word or brings back one he has said before every other day!! It's like he is just trying to explode with vocabulary!! And has been trying to use 2 and 3 words together all of a sudden. And I'm like you, talk in real words to my son.

Just keep up what you are doing. And I bet if you give him a few more months that he'll be tossing words at you that you didn't even think he could say!! If he still seems to be lacking, the talk to his DR at his 2yr check up so you can get started on getting him screened for his hearing and then his speech if his hearing is fine.

Good luck!
~S.

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K.K.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi K.,
I am a speech-Language Pathologist. All children are different and may not achieve milestones as others do. It is great that he understands so much this is a strength! I would encourage that you used a slower rate of speech when commenting on an activity or object also use exaggerated articulation and see if he watched you more and tries to imitate your production. So if he said dada and points to cat. You would say C-A-T emphasize and exaggerate each sound.
I would speak to your pediatrician and see what he/she says. If he/she is concerned he/she may refer you to Babies Can’t Wait. This program is currently undergoing some changes and you will have to see if it is the right program for your son. If it is not, I would look into a private facility that will bill your insurance company. Let me know if you need any more information.
K.

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J.H.

answers from Charleston on

It sounds like you need to have him evaluated by a speech therapist. I am a developmental specialist who works with delayed children and its never too early to start. Don't feel like you're overreacting, you'll thank yourself when he talks non-stop!

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H.K.

answers from Knoxville on

K.,

I have two friends who have both experienced this. Their kids weren't saying anymore than yours at 2 1/2 & 3, so they both saw a speach therapist (one reccomended it to the other). Now both the kids (1- 1/12 years later)have a full vocabulary. Some kids just need an extra push, they are each different. I would reccomend a speach therapist for your little one, that should get him started.

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M.C.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi K.,

As long as he seems to understand you and doesn't seem to have a hearing problem he's probably just going to be a late talker. My son is almost 3 years old and has just in the past month or so started to talk using words that I can understand. He still has a limited vocabulary, but I think he's ready to communicate verbally more than he did before. You definitely need to let his pediatrician know. They will probably send him for a hearing test and maybe to a speech therapist for an evaluation.

Good luck!
M.

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H.K.

answers from Savannah on

Hi K.,
My oldest son didn't say as many words as my pediatrician hoped for at that age either. She wanted to send us to a speech therapist. I decided instead to ask another pediatrician first. The second pediatrician gave me some very helpful advice. Instead of sending us to speech therapy right away, she asked me to try something. She said that, because he was my first child and he was so very loved by my parents (who took care of him during the day) and by me in the evenings, she suspected that we were not requiring words from him. And she was right! He would point to something and we would get it for him. We never made him ask for it. We anticipated his every need. He would cry a little and someone would pick him up. We did everything for him. We were just loving him and taking care of him, but in the process we weren't allowing him to become independent or articulate.
I don't know if this is the case with your son. But you might want to try it for a while before you do anything else about it. The next time he points at something and makes a non-word noise, tell him you don't understand what he wants (even if you do) & ask him to "use your words." It will take a little time, & he might become frustrated, but if he is really able to use words & just doesn't because he doesn't have to, then this might work. It worked for us. We never went to speech therapy. My son is 5 years old now & won't shut up!! LOL!
Good luck!

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C.V.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi K.. While there is a chance that there is absolutely nothing wrong w/ your son (and I hope that's true!), I know that as a concerned parent, you want to do everything you can to rule out any potential problems. I had a similar situation--by the time my daughter went to her 18-month checkup, she wasn't speaking very much and the words she did say were difficult to understand. I mentioned it to her doctor, who (after ruling out hearing problems) referred us for a full evaluation. It was determined that she had a slight "delay" in her ability to form the correct sounds, not a cognitive or comprehension issue. She was in speech therapy for about 10 months, one hour one time per week. By the time she was done, she was well within "normal" ranges on her reevaluation. I truly feel like catching her delay early, and giving it the necessary attention prevented us from having the problem snowball and possibly cause troubles in school. I hope that your son is just a "late bloomer", but it might behoove you to have an evaluation done for him, just in case he needs that little extra boost that my daughter did. By the way, my daughter turns 7 years old in May and has never had any further problems with her speech. Best of luck to you!

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N.K.

answers from Atlanta on

HI K.- I have 3 sons....my first spoke at 10 months and was speaking many many words by this stage- my second didn't say anything till he was 2 - my third is also 17mos like yours and says aboutthe same asyours....ball- dada mama and "Ma" for just about everything....so I know your worries- however, I'm trying to stay calm and remember that my second didn't say anything till he was 2- I think that is when most experts take action if they still arent' saying anything by age 2...but if you are concerned- there is a service in Georgia called Babies can't wait- that will provide an evaluation and therapy if you need it...look into it if you are worried or need a peace of mind- but don't stress out too much- I think it's totally normal -
if you have any more questions feel free to email
good luck
Nikki

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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

Hi K.! My son was the exact same way. I was freaking out! He did exactly what your son is doing, said mama at first, then stopped. Didn't start saying that again till he was two. He said dada to everything. Could talk in sentences(in his words) and understood everything I was saying to him, would do what I ask, etc, but couldn't speak a word very clearly. Or many words at all for that matter. It went on like this till he was two. He is 2 yrs 4mnths now and his vocab just keeps progressing. I'm not saying to not look into it, but my little one is fine. Babies just have to do things at there own pace. I was so scared that something could be wrong with him, his pediatrician said it was fine to not worry and one day things just started falling out of his mouth. He still talks in some baby words when he gets excited, and most of the time the words aren't clear at all, but I know what they are and I notice them getting clearer every day. Hope this helps you feel a little better atleast, and please check with the doc just to be safe. ~J.~

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P.C.

answers from Atlanta on

K., Since I'm not with you guys all day obviously I don't know any specifics of what you do to help him with language, so I'll just tell you our main strategies with our son who is 22 months old. Firstly, whenever you ask him a question, wait a long time and listen. Give him plenty of time to answer. If he says anything that remotely sounds like a relative word, repeat the word back to him with enthusiasm. Also, with his favorite books (the ones you read about every day), stop before the last word on a popular page and give him a chance to say it. If it's a rhyming book he'll be more likely to pick this up. Obviously speak very slowly to him with lots of gesturing and labeling of everything. Okay, now I know some of that is basic and I hope I did not offend your intelligence in any way, I just thought you might want a couple of simple actual behaviors that encourage language development, instead of just being told to wait or take him to Babies Can't Wait, not that those aren't also equally valid pieces of advice, I just know as a mom you want to start DOING something and not just waiting it out, even though sometimes the waiting is all it takes. I'm sure you've been reassured that your son is well within the normal range of language. I'm sure he'll be talking your ear off before you know it! Good luck!

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C.E.

answers from Atlanta on

My second son is far behind the first in verbal abilities. Talk to the pediatrician when you go, but keep on speaking clearly in complete sentences to him. Read lots of books. He'll get it eventually. Make sure that everyone around him (grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles, etc.) also speak to him clearly in complete sentences. I've seen my son ignored in conversation (especially by his older brother) because he isn't yet able to respond fully.

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B.R.

answers from Atlanta on

Love the advice from moms re: having toddler ASK for things rather than pointing; make it a positve / rewarding issue. You do need to check w/ pediatrician, tho. EARLY help is better if it is needed! Have 2 sons who were each doing sentences by 18 mo of age; no girls, so cannot even try to compare boys vs girls...Best to you!

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J.D.

answers from Spartanburg on

My daughter is almost 18 months. She really only has a couple of sounds (Ba, da, ma), but with those sounds, we can tell she has several words. For example, for her, da means: "dog", "doll", "door", and "that". Of course we can only tell what she is saying by context, but to her, those are words. We aren't supposed to expect that they will have perfectly articulated words, but that they are associating some of the correct sounds with familiar objects. She also babbles non-stop and even though we can't understand her, I'm sure there is a good word or two mixed in with her babbling. My daughter too has stopped saying certain sounds and such. The doctor told us that that is very common and sometimes when they are developing new physical abilities, their verbal growth can be put on the back burner for a while. I know some doctors count animal sounds as words also, so if he does some of those, that could be good. Either way, I'm sure the doctor will give you some info at your next appt. If he is behind, they might wait until he is 2 or go ahead and provide you with the names of free language services in the area. Good luck

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D.H.

answers from Atlanta on

I had two boys FIRST and they both did the same thing. They were only 14 months apart, so I knew nothing else, but how boys did. They both didn't speak very much. I did just as you are doing. If they pointed to something, I would say what it was...."oh, you want the cup of milk....here is the milk." Just keep doing what you are doing.

I now have a girl and my husband and I laugh that she is a genius compared to the way our boys were. She talks in sentences (she is 2 years, 2 months), knows most of her colors, etc.

I have another friend that had 2 girls first and then a boy, she told my husband that at first she thought to herself..."is he dumb!" lol. Of course she was kidding, but honestly though, there is a big difference between boys and girls. Although not all girls talk early and all boys talk late, but it seems to be a majority here.

Even if he does need speech therapy or something like that...you are doing exactly what they would be doing for him. Just keep it up.

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S.B.

answers from Atlanta on

Hey K.,
Wow that sounds so familiar. I wouldn't worry about it. My son was 2 years old before he really started saying more than 5 or 6 words. By 2 1/2 he was saying quite a bit more and now at 3 he is using full sentences and talking to me and my husband like a big kid! As long as your son is trying to communicate, and is social, I wouldn't worry about it. It will come! Girls begin to speak a lot faster than boys, so don't compare him to girls, or other children for that matter. Children all learn on their own timeline. I'm sure he'll be speaking more before you know it. Just give it time.

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M.C.

answers from Spartanburg on

K.,

Have you had his hearing checked? Does he have tubes in his ears? Tubes will distort the sounds in which your son hears. Take him to a speach therapist for an evaluation. Speechworks, Inc. in Easley, SC is the absolute best around.

Rhonda

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K.L.

answers from Myrtle Beach on

My daughter is 17 months too and doing the EXACT same thing! I too, am talking to my dr at the 18 month appt. I did read that we shouldn't be too concerned until they are about to turn two. So let's see what the dr says. My husband isn't too concerned, he says she'll one day wake and starting talking nonstop like her mother!!! Good luck. I'll be interested to see the other responses too!

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S.K.

answers from Spartanburg on

You might as well be describing my daughter a few years ago. In our case the "culprit" for her developmental speech delay was chronic ear infections that hindered her ability to hear well. Perhaps get your child's hearing checked? Even at this young age audiologists are able to use lights and toys to determine if a child can hear well. We ended up having tubes put in our daughter's ears to reduce the frequency of ear infections. I would definitely speak to your GP, who will refer you to an ENT. Don't wait, S.

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S.G.

answers from Atlanta on

I would contact the Babies can't wait program immediately. Not because I necesarily think you should be overly concerned, but because this is a free program. My son had some delays but I kept thinking he would catch up. We took him to Children's Healtcare for assessment (our insurance paid) and he does have an articulation problem and hearing issues. Now that he is almost three he is no longer eligible for the program. I wish I would have done the BCW when I suspected there might be issues. Here is the link and some information about the program. Good Luck!

http://www.columbushealth.com/cwsn/bcw/index.htm

Babies Can’t Wait (BCW) is Georgia’s Early Intervention Program for Infants and Toddlers from birth to their third birthday who have an established risk of a Developmental Delay due to a diagnosed physical or mental condition. Babies Can’t Wait provides the initial Evaluation and Assessment, which is conducted by a qualified team of professionals to determine eligibility and the scope of services and supports needed. Babies Can’t Wait also provides Service Coordination to assist families in accessing services, and identifying resources and natural supports in their local communities. The Evaluation and Assessment as well as ongoing Service Coordination is provided at no cost to families.

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R.B.

answers from Atlanta on

My 6 year old did the exact same thing when he was around the same age. He even lost the "momma" (isn't that frustrating after all we do?) I waited to talk to his Dr. until he was 3, and looking back at it I regret it. He went into speech at 3 and is still in it now at 6. I understand him, but he reverts back to his older habits sometimes. Talk to your Dr. get a referral to a speech therapist to evaluate him, they can do it young. And I feel that if you start therapy young, before they learn bad speech patterns it's better. I think that it's easier to teach them what is right the first time. My son defiantly created his own language and some of his closest friends at preschool could translate what he was saying to his other friends. Speech therapy is a lot of fun if you go to the right place, they play games and have a good time!

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A.P.

answers from Atlanta on

This sounds a lot like my daughter. She is 26 months now and finally saying a lot more. Even so, it isn't always clear. She also has her own language and is very verbal, especially when she was younger. She didn't say much at 17 months either which was much different than my son who was a whiz at everything. She does say sentences now though. I wouldn't worry about it, just mention it at his 2 year check-up. Each child is different.

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