17 Month Old WILL NOT LISTEN....need Help Going Out of My Mind!

Sounds like you need to distract her with something positive. Children also have a tendancy to find "negative attention" if they feel they need you and you are too busy. Just try to be as level headed as you can. She probably does know she shouldn't touch it, but have you told her WHY? Sometimes bi-empathy works wonders. Tell her, "I know that is really fun to play with but you might hurt yourself because the Christmas tree has "hot" lights" (this worked well for my son, for three years he thought the tree was HOT). Or "I know how fun it is to push all of the buttons on mommy's keybord, but it could break so why don't we push buttons on_______ instead. Come on, I'll play with you". Bi-empathy, it is a beautiful thing. It sounds like your daughter is trying to get your attention, because she loves playing with you. I know how hormones can make you crazy, but try to see EVERY situation from your daughters perspective. This will help you a great deal. Let her know YOU KNOW what her intention is, and explain WHY things are bad (and not just becasue you said, lol!). Because if you keep saying "no" "no" "no" she will not hear you... Think about a time when you were on the phone or concentrating on something and you finally realized how many times she said "mommy"... "mommy"..."mommy". It isn't her fault. Just think from her perspective and things should look up for the both of you!! Good luck! :)

It's just the age, even though it may seem like she is intentionally doing it she isn't, but she is very curious. It is best to put things you do not want her to touch up or gate off the room if that is possible. My daughter just turned 2 and she is very curious - LOL more so then my boys ever were. My computer is in an armoire and when the doors are shut I still have a baby lock on it because she just 'loves to work'. :-) I have found that she loses interest if I do not make a big deal about something she is not supposed to do. Also try to divert her attention to something else. I know she is young but I make sure I tell my daughter why she can't do something, like go in the refrigerator or climb on the counters to get what she wants, it doesn't always work the first time, but eventually she gets it. The days when I am tires I baby gate off the rooms, mostly the kitchen, that she is more curious in and then we avoid the whole situation.

Congrats on you pregnancy!!

Try patting her hand (not spanking, not hitting) her hand while you say "no no no no no no no"...(pat pat pat pat pat pat pat). Don't yell, and don't let the patting hurt. Make your eyes big and wide
while you say "no no no" -- babies look at your facial expressions a lot. Your baby is doing something she is supposed to do -- she is figuring out "boundaries". Children really do feel safer and loved when their parents establish boundaries. What you have is a strong-willed child. Strong-willed is a good character trait. It means she has fortitude and determination -- Most leaders are "strong willed". But she has to learn early that you're in charge. I would put anything you really value/cherish totally out of her reach -- (i.e., crystal, figurines, etc.). Don't even provide her the opportunity to test you with these kinds of items. She'll learn and then you can bring those things back out.

The Christmas tree is dangerous if it's within her reach.
Try angeling your couch or chair against a corner wall and put your Christmas Tree behind it for this year. Next year, she won't be so mesmerized by it and feel like she needs to touch it to enjoy it.

Always reward good behavior. If she withdraws her hand from an object when you tell her not to touch it, reward her with a kiss, hug, etc.

You might consider getting her a "toy computer" with fun buttons to push, or and old computer keyboard that she can play with.

Blessings to you !!

Hi J.,

I wanted to let you know about a moms group in Dearborn and Dearborn Heights. It is a local chapter of the International MOMS Club. I started the local chapter almost a year ago and we now have over 20 members. Our website is www.geocities.com/momsclubdearborn and www.momsclub.org. Let me know if you would like more info. It is a support group for stay at home moms and we have play groups, mall play days, general monthly meetings, craft days, MOMS Nights Out, and Couples Nights Out. It has really been a fun group to be a part of. E.

17-month olds see the whole world as their playground and they love to explore. It's not their fault that we put dangerous things in the path of their exploration. Place the tree in a space or a room that you can gate off, and remove breakable items, so you don't turn a holiday of love and light into a negative experience. I would also keep the computer in a room to which she has no access. Take the path of least resistance and keep the 'no' and the 'time out' for truly dangerous actions. Enjoy your daughter's curiosity and love of discovery - before you know it she'll be a teenager and you'll have to deal with the really big issues.

I know how you feel! My son is almost 16 months now and he's doing the same kind of things. fortunately he's not as persistent as my daughter was (now 4 1/2), so he does listen sometimes. But I do make sure to tell him a couple different ways, like first, NO TOUCH!, then NO, WES, don't touch that! Then i remove him, while he protests and cries about it, but then I explain why he can't touch it. i say this in a very nice, higher tone, so he doesn't think I'm yelling at him, but just telling him why. even if you think she won't understand, she does get a lot more words than she can say, so just keep talking to her about it. try giving her something else of yours that she can't break right after telling her no and why. i don't recommend using going to bed as a punishment! It creates a negative association with bedtime and gives you more problems to deal with later. start using time outs, though. They're pretty much ready for them at 1 year. just a minute per their age. So next year you'll up it to 2 minutes and so on. my daughter still gets time outs and she gets about 4-5 minutes cause she's 4 1/2. i haven't exactly used time outs yet with my 16 month old, so I'm not sure how i'm gonna do it. Do you have a little chair that she can sit in?( one with straps is ideal) Just put it in a common room, like the living room and tell her she's gotta sit there. Or even a big chair or a stool. It probably won't work the first couple times, but eventually she'll get that she's being disiplined and you'll see a response. Then next time she pushes the limits, you can say Do you want a time out? Instead of going to bed or even being shut in her room. I'm telling you this from experience, cause we did that for a short time with my daughter when she was about 2 and it made bedtime a nightmare. I'm still dealing with nighttime fears 2 years later, so don't do it! Keep her bed and her room a safe place for her. I definitely know how you feel being pregnant. It makes dealing with your 1st a major test on your character and patience. Just take deep breaths and remember you're gonna be able to handle it. Start trying to take some extra time with her to do something fun, cause she may be feeling like she's not really getting the same attention she's had before you were pregnant and directing some of your energy in other directions. good luck, and don't let her run you ragged. Show her in a loving way that you're the boss and she can't have everything she wants.