A friend of mine has a 16yr old who snuck out of the house in the middle of the night to go smoke week and have sex with a fb friend (19 yr old) she is very concern because she has 2 other kids at home 5 and 2 year old, she doesn't know what to do and I don't know what to tell her. Has anyone been in this situation? what have you done? Any programs out there for this teen?
ADDITIONAL INFO:
As far as I know the girl doesn't have a cell phone, she is not allow to use a computer, they live in a 2 story home (she can't jump out the window) she has seen "teen mom" and "intervention" and she has no remorse about what she did, she has been talked to but nothing, that is why the mom is concerned about the little ones, all these things (no phone or comp) have been put in place to prevent something like this. any more suggestions.
Honestly, she's the mom. SHE should know what to do. Confront her own child. She doesn't need strangers to parent her daughter.
Take her to Planned Parenthood. Talk to her about sex and drugs. If the mom knows she's on FB, get her password and track her.
Sit her down and make her watch MTV's "Teen Mom" and "16 and Pregnant" episodes back to back! That show freaks ME out and I'm 43! AND THEN, after THAT marathon, sit her down to watch every episode of "Intervention." This is pretty much how all these shows start out--by making BAD DECISIONS at an early age.
Put an alarm on the doors and windows so she'll know if they are opened. Other than that, there isn't really much she can do other than to ground the teen. She cannot be with her 24 hours a day. If the girl wants to smoke weed and have sex, she's going to. The trick is to make them not want to do it.
Is there a Husband/Dad at home, too?
Report, the 19 year old. Call the cops.
He is also, giving drugs to a 16 year old....
Illegal and illegal drugs
What do you tell her?
You tell her she is busted.
You tell her you know what she is doing.
You tell her you know she is smoking pot and having sex... and sneaking out of the house.
You KNOW, and are not dumb.
WHO is this 19 year old, anyway?
He is a FB friend?'
WTH?
Oh and she can get STD's/Aids/Herpes etc., and get pregnant.
And she is only 16.
You know that.
I hope your friend, knows that too.
Its her daughter.
Parents pull rank.
Not the child.
Simple - report the 19 year old to the police, get the 15 year old counseling - full time, in-patient might be good. I agree, the mom needs to do some parenting here....lock the windows etc....but first thing that bothers me is she is concerned for the other kids, not this one - maybe that is why the child is doing this - to get attention and love as the focus appears to be on the little ones..
I get so irritated when people want to judge so quickly. Obviously Rebecca F who posted below does not have a teenager but has all the answers. These are people I just sit back and say just you wait. I had a similar situation to yours and I am a very loving christian mother, and I told the teenager that I have other children in the house that I am trying to raise and her example is not welcome. After a few attempts to stop it, talk to her, block it, etc. I told her if she was going to continue this toxic behavior she had to move out. that was the hardest thing I ever did. But my other younger children were watching my reaction to her. I am very pleased to say that 5 years down the road she is a beautiful smart married young woman with a baby working in a manager position at a high end restaurant and going to college. She had been acting out as a teenager from her dad and I divorcing. So please ignore rude people who know it all...because life has never slapped them in the face.
I don't know if this will work but I just saw it in our local newspaper... A boy got caught smoking pot and having sex so his parents made him stand on a busy street corner holding a poster board that said "I got caught smoking pot and having sex and I'll never do it again". They interviewed the boy and he said he would never do it again!
