10 1/2 Month Old Not Sleeping....(in His Bed)

Hi T.,
I am sorry I am so late in responding...Don't let your baby CIO. A baby 10 1/2 months old does not have the cognitive ability to manipulate as some others have suggested. Try putting your baby to sleep on his tummy. By now he can roll over on his tummy anyway. Our first baby (we have three children) was a terrible sleeper. She slept with us until she was 2 1/2 years. That was the only way we were all able to sleep. You have not "ruined" your baby, especially since he is sick! Do what is right for you, whether you sleep with your baby or put him in his crib. But please do not let your baby CIO. It is dangerous. One time when I tried letting your baby "soothe" herself back to sleep (which is actually ignoring your babies cries), I checked on her and her leg was caught in the slat (even though our crib is code). One time she had spit up and had urp all over the back of her head. Another time, her diaper was completely soaked. My point is that babies cry for a reason. Your natural maternal instinct to respond to your baby is correct. I don't want to scare you, but I read an article in Parents Magazine about a mother who let her son CIO, and it wasn't good. He is no longer with us. If your baby sleeps on his tummy, I believe that will help. We also moved the crib to our bedroom. Hope some of these ideas help! Good Luck!

Hi T.! Wow, have I been there?! But, I can tell you that there is hope! My daughter did the same thing after she got RSV at about 3 months old. I was so worried about her breathing during this terrible virus that I let her sleep in bed with us. After a few weeks I tried putting her back in her crib for naps and at bedtime and she would scream. I have to say that I tried just about everything and I would get so frustrated that I would eventually give in. Bad mistake. Finally, I stayed consistent. She would cry a bit at first, but then the crying stopped. I will, however, encourage you to put him to bed when he is sleepy, NOT asleep. When I waited until she was asleep to put her to bed, she would either immediately wake up or would wake up later on and be scared and cry all over again. My dr. suggested the 'patting back' thing to get her to sleep, but for my daughter it didn't work. If I was there, she was bound and determined to scream! I also have some music going and a small lamp on for her. Not sure if your little one uses a pacifier, but I put my daughters pacifiers in the freezer. Then, when it was time for bed I would grab a pacifier, lay her in her crib with her music and mobile going and give her the pacifier and immediately leave the room. It took a few nights, but it eventually worked! Consistently is the key. Now, she loves her crib and takes two 2 hour naps and sleeps through the night just fine. Hang in there, it will happen. Don't feel that you are alone in this, just about every Mom has been there!!

YES YOU HAVE! Sorry but it's true! we as parents sometimes take the easy way out, it's a lack of self discipline really, and it creates a bad habit in the child who will not let you forget that you made the rules, when you decided to let him sleep with you because it was easier for you! Now you have to re-make the rules, and it won't be easy! there will be some loss of sleep until the new rule is accepted! you have to have a stronger will than your child! That's some Nanny 911 advice! Yes I watch that show and I can tell you this is exactly what Nanny 911 would tell you. Good luck, sleep is coming but not neccisarily any time real soon! Be strong, hold out for the greater good for you and your child and your dear husband, whom I am sure would like to reclaim your bed as an adult only zone!

Leave him in his room to cry, otherwise you are teaching him that is how to get his way. I have a 3 1/2 yr old and believe me if you don't start teaching them now then when they get older they will walk all over you with those tears. It is harder on you than on him. He will stop and I know now from experience. If you don't have a night light and soft music that might help too.

I know it maybe hard but you really need to let him cry it out. Go in & rub his back from time to time, but don't pick him up. If listening to him cry is too hard you may need to leave for a night & let your husband deal with it. A friend of mine had to do that, her husband finally said go I'll deal with it. Like most men he could sleep through anything! It took 2 nights of her sleeping in the van, but it worked. I learned from her not to let my daughter sleep with us. Good luck! God Bless.

I don't agree with the idea of ignoring a crying child. I think it takes a hit on the development of self-confidence and self assurance. Plus, there were several occasions when my daughter woke up crying because her arm/leg was stuck in the crib slats or she was sick (you need to know why your child is crying; don't assume the reasons--no matter what time it is). However I think you need to end bringing him to your bed--immediately. Ideally you should put him in his crib.. if he wakes up, go in & check on him, reassure him that mama/dada are there and responsive, but don't take him out of the crib... leave, wait 5-10 minutes, go in a check on him, leave... wait another interval of time, check, leave, etc. He will eventually fall asleep. In the beginning of this transition phase, you might have to rock him back to sleep *in his room* to get him used to falling asleep there. But you definitely DO NOT want him to harden this habit because it will be 10x harder to break at 15 months and/or after he turns 2.

And I don't encourage the idea of putting him to sleep on a bed in your room. Again, he needs to develop the ability to fall asleep on his own. And your marriage needs your bedroom to be an adult area.

My daughter slept well as a newborn but that did not last long. She is 20 months old now and I just recently buckled down and set a bed time. The first night she cried for over an hour and even threw up! The second night she cried for 15 minutes. The third night she cried for 30 seconds, and the fourth night and all nights after she did not cry at all. If I would have known it would be that easy I would have done this a long time ago. Sometimes she wakes up in the middle of the night. I usually let her cry, or sometimes I just go in to comfort her. Last night I did bring her in my bed but that is no longer the norm. I think you need to just be persistent. It may take several nights of going in his room and comforting him but if you give in every time he will know that all he has to do is cry for a while and he will get what he wants. You'll have some sleepless nights at first but I think in the long run it is worth the effort.

Hi T.,
let him cry he has you trained and he knows it ,if he crys long enough you'll come get him DON't if you knpow for sure he's ok close is door almost all the way and it may take a while but the circle will break
L.

T.,

Unlesss your little cherub is fighting this ear infection still, you might need to develop some back bone!
Keep doing your routine, but if he start/continues to cry, let hime! If he is wailing, I might suggest going in and soothing him, w/out talking to him! Hold him, cuddle but don't stimulate him with talking! Do this for a minute, put him back in bed, and leave the room! Continue to do this!
See if it works!

I have an 18 month old, and when she wakes up wheither she is sick or not, I console her, and then put her back to bed! It can take a couple of trys, but it is worth it!

T.,

First off, you are going to have some sleepless nights ahead of you when you decide to break this habit and get your little one sleeping in his own bed. We made the same mistake of bringing our daughter in bed with us and it took forever to break the habit. She developed a terrible infection that affected her breathing and so she slept on our chests for nearly three weeks, trying to keep her elevated and so we could monitor her breathing. Once you start something you don't want to do with your child it's hard to break it.

You're going to need to stay in the room with you little one for a while. Bring a comfy chair in the room, place it by his crib and sit with him until he falls asleep. It may take a while for that to happen but hang in there. Just don't talk to him after a while. Let him know that you're there, that it's time for bed, and then quiet.

On the next night, you will repeat this process but move your chair a little bit away from the crib. Repeat this the following night. Keep repeating it until you are out the door.

It'll take a few nights and maybe this weekend will be the perfect time for you since it's a long weekend. That way, you and your hubby can take turns and use the days to catch up on sleep with naps.

One more bit of advice, don't leave him in his bed to cry-it-out. I believe this breaks your child's trust and terrifies them that you won't be there for them. Unfortunately, we tried this with our daughter and she began having night terrors immediately afterwards. It took us forever to calm her down and assure her that we would never leave her.

This is all the advice I can give you. We didn't start the process with our daughter until she was much older which made the process last longer but we've finally done it.

Good Luck,
K.

My 5yr old just started to sleep in his own room this week. When he was born, he was a preemie which prompt me to have him very close to us at all times. Wrong thing to do. Big mistake. I, truly began to regret ever allowing him to sleep with us. It was a 5yr transition. At one point my husband & I tried taking turns sleeping in the room with him, but he still woke-up just to make sure we were still there, so that didn't work. We definitely ruined him by bringing him into our bed. I, know it may take awhile to break that cycle he's developed but please keep putting him in his room and stay with him until he falls asleep until it works. Don't give-up. You'll regret it in the long run.

T.,
This sounds mean, but get tough before it gets tougher on you! While it is normal for a child to suddenly start waking at 1 year, you have to show him who is boss. Don't let his tears get to you - you are in control - if you give that control to him, then you all lose. Be strong and hold your ground. Explain to him that it is his bedtime and he is not to get up once he is down. He WILL actually understand this. I have been there - this advice is good, trust me! DO NOT put him in your bed again and do not make the bedtime ritual so cushy. Put him in his bed to fall asleep, read one or two stories, tell him what you expect from him, kiss him good-night, leave the room and scold him if he acts obnoxious. One week of this and all will be well.
Good luck!

Just keep trying to put him bed. It will get better.

I recommend the book "No Cry Sleep Solution."

Best wishes.

T. D

Please stop while you are ahead. My son used to be sick alot before he turned a year old. I used to put him in our bed to feel more comfortable about being able to keep a close eye on him. BIG MISTAKE....My son was 4 years old before we got him out of our bed. We tried everything, new bed, new sheets the big boy story, nothing worked. I had to close my bed room door and he used to cry his self to sleep out side the door. Believe me i just wanted to open the door and let him in.I dont remember how we broke him from this but stop while you are ahead. I know it is hard because you work full time, but it will pay off in the end. Better to fight with a baby now instead of waiting till he is 4 years old throwing taturms. good luck and don't give in..

I agree with letting him cry it out. I did it w/ both of my children, 3 and 8 when they were young, between 6-12mo of age. My kids do not fuss when I say naptime or bedtime. Okay they may whine a bit, but they know they have to hop in bed. Make a routine out of it and stick to it. We do dinner, relax if we have time, bath, teeth, book and in bed between 8-9pm. They both do have nightlights (as previously suggested). When he does wake up after an hour or two do check on him though. You may have to repeat the whole ordeal, but you will know he is safe. My three year old was about a little over a year old and woke up like that and I went in without my glasses comforted her and left to no avail and went in again to notice fire ants in her bed. I felt like the worst mom ever. The point is use your instincts and do check on him if you need to. If all is well, say mommy loves you, walk back out, start over if needed. I'll say a prayer all works out. It is better to form their sleeping patterns now. I have a friend who's 11yr old still sleeps with her and her husband. I think recently they moved his mattress to their floor in their room. Imagine that while going through this process and decide what is best.

The only advice I can give is fix it ASAP. We went through the same thing with my son. He slept good in the beginning. Then he kept getting sick (small things but one after another) so he kept ending up in our bed. Now he's almost 21 months, goes to sleep in my bed (hopefully makes it to his later) & comes back to my bed when he wakes up.

I went through the same thing. Now when my kids are sick, instead of bringing them to my bed I either sit with them in the recliner until they go back to sleep then I put them back in bed or, we both sleep there together. I've even made a bed for myself on their floor. I just make sure my bed isn't an option for them. Sure, I have a bad night of sleep sometimes but it is better than having to retrain them everytime they get sick.

Give peanut a hug and kiss from me! love aunt ang! mine is inly 2 months, fill me in on how it works ! love you too!